What I want now is my younger, innocent assistant. I'll tie her up under my tree, just to experience the joy of making her come undone. There's one thing I never want: commitment. But this naughty elf has me thinking of jingling all the way to the chapel, and turning her into her my gift to keep forever. A Very Dirty Xmas is an anthology of five standalone Christmas romance novels featuring alpha male, bad boy billionaires and the curvy, feisty women who win their hearts. Warm up the season with these holiday books that perfectly blend steam and spice, naughty and nice. They have no cheating, no cliffhangers and very happily ever afters, including engagements, weddings and babies! Merry Christmas from Juliana Conners, Eva Luxe and Sierra Sparks.

    She’s going to stay in New York City and have a sane Christmas instead of enduring life at home which is bound to consist of chimney fires, questionable treats, and dysfunctional family drama. But when her family chips in for a plane ticket she finds herself back in her hometown, trying to referee between her divorced parents and avoid getting sucked into helping with Mom’s new business, Man Haters, Inc., while keeping the sibling rivalry to a minimum. Hardest of all is trying to ignore the fact that she’s still drawn to Gabe Knightly, the man who was the love of her life... until he dated both her best friend and her sister. This is going to be the worst Christmas of her life. Or is it? ABOUT THE AUTHOR Sheila Roberts is a best-selling women’s fiction writer. Her books have been printed in a dozen different languages and been made into movies both for the Lifetime and Hallmark channels.

    She’s stuck there and haunted by memories until she meets Tim, Christmas present. He opens her eyes and heart.If you love small town second chance romances, read this heartwarming novella and fall in love today.

    My novella is included right now in the paperback edition of her best-selling Christmas book, Mr Miracle. You can purchase the two combined stories now wherever books are sold.

    Because even though it sounds like you're calling your friend a weirdo, this book is in fact a wonderfully astute and affectionate look at the female psyche, and perfect for any girl with a sense of humor (and a desire to know what boys think of girls). With his unique Homer-Simpson-channeled-through-Jessica-Simpson sensibility, Todd Harris Goldman—that Todd Harris Goldman, the funny, crude, un-PC, very savvy author of Boys Are Stupid, Throw Rocks at Them!—explains why boys think the opposite sex is weird. Narrated by a boy who's sort of a moron, it questions all the things that are completely alien to boys, but with a surprisingly sweet insight and great good spirit. Waxing vs. shaving. The color pink. Shoe obsessions. The everyday dilemma: "Does this dress make me look fat?" The appeal of tiny little dogs. Fake boobs. The mysteries of PMS. In the end he can only conclude that girls are weirdos and leave it at that—a conclusion that girls will not only understand but own up to proudly.

    My Man Jeeves 1919Right Ho, Jeeves 1922Death At The Excelsior, Others 1914

    A time for joy. A time for tears. A time for reflection. A time for hope.And a time for miracles.This Christmas season Dave and Karen Brenner have welcomed a stranger into their lives. A stranger who may change their lives forever.

    While there, Mr. Pinocchio meets all sorts of Fascinating Characters, one more Unbelievable and Amazing than the next, and they challenge him to confront his Deepest, Darkest Fears. The experience leads Mr. Pinocchio to the very edges of despair, but at a critical juncture he finds hope in the arms of a Bad Woman.The love affair ends tragically, alas, and, like many parts of Mr. Pinocchio's story, stretches credibility to the breaking point, but the harrowing adventure -- which involves a great deal of pain, a smattering of dirty sex, and endless amounts of girlish crying -- eventually leads to Redemption and Healing. But not for Mr. Pinocchio

    After more than thirty years of being asked the same question—"Why don't you give us some good news for a change?"—veteran television news anchor Bruce Lindsay obliges us with humorous and heartwarming stories from the idyllic town that we believe we grew up in—or wished we did. Inspired from the stories found in real small-town newspapers, Bruce Lindsay introduces us to the down-to-earth, foible-filled characters from Parley's Grove—folks who can make the mundane mesmerizing and the absurd endearing. Warm, poignant, and always hilarious, these affectionate vignettes of small-town life will help you remember who you are and where you're from.

    But when his wife’s office holiday party turns into a deadly hostage situation, he has to save her life before he can get home in time for Christmas!The unconventional fan-favorite movie Die Hard is now an illustrated storybook—complete with machine guns, European terrorists, and a cop who’s forced to rely on all his cunning and skills (and the help of a fellow officer) to save the day. Based on the classic "Night Before Christmas" poem and filled with whimsical illustrations, this cleverly reimagined homage is destined to become a holiday classic.*Contains adult material including violence and strong language. Reader discretion is advised. Ho-ho-ho.

    This long out-of-print classic is the perfect stocking-stuffer for any bah humbug.

    He talks to the models, he reads hundreds of filthy readers' letters, he organises the photoshoots and even gets to direct the action. He has, according to his non-porn friends, "the best job in the world". But Godfrey Bishop has a problem. Godfrey Bishop is going through the sex drought to end all sex droughts. He hasn't been with a woman in over a year and this knee-twisting frustration is magnified a hundred times by his daily grind. He feels like Billy Bunter put in charge of the cake shop, only to have the Atkins diet forced upon him at gun point. Chuck into the mix a twelve girl orgy, a stable of alcoholic co-workers, an angry argumentative feminist, a naked run from justice and an obsessive nutty reader who thinks Godfrey is trying to scupper his chances of marrying the magazine's centre-spread girl and you have Danny King's filthiest and funniest novel yet – according to the back of the book. Godfrey Bishop has "the best job in the world" – and it's doing his f*cking head in.

    All hope of staying in her childhood home are gone, as are the chances of finding the one man who could have saved the Hall. But when a stranger arrives late one evening, drawn to the tiny fishing harbour by an injured dog, will he be friend or foe? Only the Hall’s ancient guardians and its missing owner know the truth. Time is running out. Soon it will be too late.

    A cosy hotel in a sleepy, snow-covered village should be the perfect setting for a Christmas to remember... But for Beth, returning to her childhood home after a disastrous break-up looks more like a festive fiasco. With her mum stranded in a blizzard and most of the hotel staff off sick, Beth is forced to take the reins, impress a mystery hotel reviewer, and somehow find a way to work with Nick, the very grumpy - and very gorgeous - pilot who is staying for the holidays. Between mince pie emergencies, deadly decorations, and two dozen disgruntled guests, Beth might just find a miracle under the mistletoe this Christmas... Heartwarming and hilarious, this is the perfect festive romance to curl up with this winter. Perfect for fans of Heidi Swain and Sue Moorcroft.

    The manuscript is comprised of the lyrics to Denis Leary's popular Christmas song of the same title (plus three new verses written for this book), and includes 25 newly commissioned illustrations in the style of classic stop-motion TV Christmas specials.