Moms Who Drink and Swear: True Tales of Loving My Kids While Losing My Mind


Nicole Knepper - 2013
    Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts.Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.

I'll See You Again


Jackie Hance - 2013
    After the tragedy, she was "The Taconic Mom", whose unimaginable loss embodied every parent's worst nightmare. Suddenly, her life-long Catholic faith no longer explained the world. Her marriage to her husband, Warren, was ravaged by wrenching grief and recrimination. And her mind, unable to cope with the unfathomable, reinvented reality each night, so she awoke each morning having forgotten the heartbreaking facts: that Emma, age 8; Alyson, age 7; and Katie, age 5, were gone forever. They were killed in a minivan driven by their aunt, Jackie's sister-in-law, Diane Schuler, while returning from a camping weekend on a sunny July morning.I'll See You Again chronicles the day Jackie received the traumatizing phone call that defied all understanding, and the numbed and torturous events that followed, including the devastating medical findings that shattered Jackie to the core and shocked America. But this profoundly honest account is also the story of how a tight-knit community rallied around the Hances, providing the courage and strength for them to move forward. It's a story of forgiveness, hope, and rebirth, as Jackie and Warren struggle to rediscover the possibility of joy by welcoming their fourth daughter, Kasey Rose Hance.The story that Jackie Hance shares for the first time will touch your heart and warm you to the power of love and hope.

Dad Is Fat


Jim Gaffigan - 2013
    Though he grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family, Jim was satisfied with the nomadic, nocturnal life of a standup comedian, and was content to be "that weird uncle who lives in an apartment by himself in New York that everyone in the family speculates about." But all that changed when he married and found out his wife, Jeannie "is someone who gets pregnant looking at babies."Five kids later, the comedian whose riffs on everything from Hot Pockets to Jesus have scored millions of hits on YouTube, started to tweet about the mistakes and victories of his life as a dad. Those tweets struck such a chord that he soon passed the million followers mark. But it turns out 140 characters are not enough to express all the joys and horrors of life with five kids, so hes' now sharing it all in Dad Is Fat.From new parents to empty nesters to Jim's twenty-something fans, everyone will recognize their own families in these hilarious takes on everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to growing up in a big family ("I always assumed my father had six children so he could have a sufficient lawn crew") to changing diapers in the middle of the night ("like The Hurt Locker but much more dangerous") to bedtime (aka "Negotiating with Terrorists").Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home.

Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves


Robin O'Bryant - 2011
    Robin O'Bryant offers a no holds barred look at the day to day life of being a mother to three, running a household and the everyday monotony of parenting. It's not always pretty but it's real. Whether she's stuffing cabbage in her bra… dealing with defiant yet determined daughters… yelling at the F.B.I... or explaining the birds and the bees to her preschooler… you're sure to find dozens of humorous and relatable situations. From the creator of Robin's Chicks, one of the South's most popular blogs on motherhood, misunderstandings and musings, comes a collection of essays that will not only make you laugh and cry, but realize that you're not alone in your journey.Sit back and relax, pour yourself some "mommy juice," throw a fresh diaper on your baby and deadbolt the bedroom door to keep your kids out… because once you start reading you'll be too busy wiping away tears of laughter to wipe anybody's butt.

Waking Mathilda: A Memoir of Childhood Narcolepsy


Claire Crisp - 2017
    Then came the H1N1 flu pandemic of 2009. It took only vaccine—one seemingly innocuous vaccine to Mathilda, the baby of the family—to change their lives forever. Diagnosed at age three as the world's youngest child with narcolepsy, the joyful and energetic Mathilda rapidly dissolved into someone unrecognizable. In this compelling narrative, Claire Crisp chronicles the fight for Mathilda's treatment. Leaving their family and country in England, the Crisps begin a new journey—one of faith, of loss, and of love as immigrants to the western shores of the United States.

I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual


Luvvie Ajayi Jones - 2016
    "This truth-riot of a book gives us everything from hilarious lectures on the bad behavior all around us to the razor sharp essays on media and culture" (Shonda Rhimes, New York Times best-selling author of Year of Yes and executive producer of Scandal and Grey's Anatomy) "I don't know how Luvvie Ajayi got so smart so young about so many things, from feminism to social media, from the pervasiveness of rape culture to the excellence of Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay Biscuits. I'm just grateful she has chosen to share her wisdom with the rest of us..." (Jennifer Weiner, number-one New York Times best-selling author of Best Friends Forever) "You will love Luvvie Ajayi's I'm Judging You, and you will argue with it, laugh hysterically at it, shout 'AW HELL YES' at it, and carry parts of it in your heart to dissect or inspire... Perfect for starting important and meaty discussions about all of the topics your mama told you never to bring up at polite dinner parties." (Jenny Lawson, New York Times best-selling author of Furiously Happy) With over 500,000 readers a month at her enormously popular blog, AwesomelyLuvvie.com, Luvvie Ajayi has become a go-to source for smart takes on pop culture. I'm Judging You is her debut book of humorous essays that dissects our cultural obsessions and calls out bad behavior in our increasingly digital, connected lives—from the importance of the newest Shonda Rhimes television drama to serious discussions of race and media representation to what to do about your fool cousin sharing casket pictures from Grandma's wake on Facebook. With a lighthearted, razor-sharp wit and a unique perspective, I'm Judging You is the audiobook the world needs, doling out the hard truths and a road map for bringing some "act right" into our lives, social media, and popular culture.

Girls Don't Poop: Lessons in Anatomy, Hygiene and Sexual Promiscuity


Jen Ashton - 2011
    Getting so tall and mature. Why, you can barely recognize yourself from just a few short months ago-back when you were so young. Your body is changing. Changes can be scary. Especially for girls, and, gosh, it can be confusing." Nope. No way. That's not this book. This is NOT your mother's coming-of-age manual. In the comedic likes of Chelsea Handler, author Jen Ashton breaks sex-education tradition and begins her hilariously endearing journey to womanhood with stories of growing up a tomboy in Middle America, circa the 1980's. Packed with iconic pop culture, nostalgic geekery, and a healthy dose of self-deprecation, Ashton foregoes the conventional route of learning how to be a lady and dives right in, enlisting the help of Cosmo, Hustler and her anal-loving housekeeper. Forget dancing around the dutiful explanations passed on from generation to generation-tales of 'the red curse' and 'your changing body.' Ashton's rites of passage are chock-full of unique life lessons learned the extracurricular way. From bodily functions to breast enlargement, pregnancy prevention to purgatory, learn the real facts of life as only she can describe them. If you're lucky, you might even discover the answer to the age-old question: Do Girls Poop? If you thought your journey through puberty was rough, be prepared to finally feel normal. Girls Don't Poop is a jaw-dropping, side-splitting adventure of one clueless tomboy's quest to figure out women, so that she could inevitably become one.

Precious Lives


Margaret Forster - 1998
    Margaret Forster's father was not a man to answer questions - least of all questions about life and death, so she attempts to answer them for herself. As Forster looks back at Arthur's life and indomitable character, she evokes incidents from her childhood, his working life and stubborn old age, trying to make sense of their largely unspoken relationship, and of his tenacious hold on life, and on his family. Arthur and Marion's lives were ordinary, and apparently unremarkable, but, when faced with death, lives like these become strangely precious.

Neglected But Undefeated: The Life Of A Boy Who Never Knew A Mother's Love


Jonathan Anthony Burkett - 2007
    One young man going through trials and tribulations, feeling unloved, unwanted, never needed, and unexpected, from a lady that he had finally understood was his true mother. The one he was told loved him the most in the world no matter what she does and says to him. Growing up and feeling like there was and cannot be any future and purpose for him because he felt and was being told that he could die and day to come. For reasons of that he couldn't control his feelings and seizures that were occurring because of the hatred he felt towards him from the one that loved him the most in this world.

Daddy Knows Best: A Raw, Uncut True Story


Matt Gable - 2011
    Thereafter, he was his worst enemy. A tough-as-nails father who firmly enforces his old-fashioned ways, a mother who has little or no say, and a son with a penchant for getting into misadventures. The boy tries to convince his parents that something is wrong with him, and he is really physically ill. He suffers three years of humiliation, agony, and punishment from the school and his father. The school principal, gave him swats, detention and isolation, where he spent all day locked up in an empty storage room. His emotionally unstable father spanked him ferociously. The boy was also whipped shirtless with his shorts on leaving him with welts all over his body from head to toe. He suffered other cruel punishments as well. The school and his parents misjudge him almost costing him his life. The parents get a divorce. The mother and brothers moved back to Wisconsin from Texas. They found themselves in an all-black housing project, being the only whites there for almost four years. He grows up quick and learns that life isn't as simple as black and white. When he turns 18, he decides to move back to Texas to seek vengeance from his father in a small country town with his father and his new mother. He hasn't seen or talked to his father in almost four years. Things fall apart fast. The young man and his younger brother end up out on the streets being homeless for two months and encounters unpredictable adventures. A raw, uncut true story.

Small Towns, Labradors, Barbecue, Biscuits, Beer, and Bibles


Sean Dietrich - 2016
    writes with humor, dripping Southern charm that you can’t miss.” (The Greenville Examiner). A collection of short stories from the author of Sean of the South, and Lyla. Columnist, humorist, and novelist, Sean Dietrich, is known for his commentary on life in the American South. In his newest work, Small Towns, Labradors, Barbecue, Biscuits, Beer, and Bibles, he delivers a set of quirky tales filled with smiles and a hefty dose of heart.

The Actor's Life: A Survival Guide


Jenna Fischer - 2017
    Louis. With a theater degree in hand, she was certain everything would fall easily into place. Never mind that she didn’t know a single person in the entertainment industry. She was determined, she was confident, she was ready to work hard. So, what could go wrong?Uh, basically everything. It would be eight long years before she landed her Emmy-nominated role of Pam Beesley on The Office—nearly a decade of failure, struggle, rejection and doubt. The path to professional acting was more competitive than she’d ever imagined. Headshots, agents, classes, auditions . . . there was a lot to learn. And with so many obstacles to navigate, it wasn’t always easy to fight off discouragement. If only she’d had a handbook for the struggling actor. Or, better yet, someone to show her the way—an established actor who could manage her expectations, educate her about the business, and reassure her in those moments of despair.Jenna Fischer wants to be that person for you. With candor and wit, Fischer lays out what it takes to establish yourself in the profession. Based on her own memorable and hilarious experiences, she provides invaluable advice on how to get the right head shot, what to look for in representation, and the importance of getting out there and just doing something. She also provides helpful hints on how to be gutsy and take risks, the tricks to good auditioning and callbacks, and how not to fall for certain scams. (Auditions in a guy’s apartment are probably not legit—or at least not for the kind of part you’re looking for!)Fischer’s inspiring guidance will make you feel like you have a trusted friend who’s made the journey and has now returned to walk beside you, pointing out the pitfalls as you blaze your own path toward the life of a professional actor.

Up the Amazon Without a Paddle


Doug Lansky - 1999
    CNN has described him as "having the world's most interesting job." Read about Lansky's experiences: fending off hippos with a canoe paddle on the Zambezi Rivertest driving Ferraris in Italysurviving the world's largest tomato fight in Spainswimming with dolphins off the coast of New Zealandblowgun hunting with the Jaguar Indians in the Amazonriding an ostrich in South Africalassoing reindeer above the Arctic Circlewrestling an alligator in Floridaplaying ice golf in Finland

Choosing Light: When an Earthquake Buried Me and My Family for 5 Days, I Learned to Fully Live


Viral Dalal - 2017
    Home in India on holiday, Viral Dalal is vacationing with his family when a 7.7 magnitude earthquake—one of the most ferocious in history—collapses the high-rise building where, just the night before, he had celebrated being together with his family. Now, buried under tons of rubble, in total darkness, without food, water, light, or the ability to even move—and with the ceiling hanging precariously just inches above his head—all Viral wants is to find his family. The cement box he is trapped in, however, will not yield – and hours crawl by. Then a full day, and another, and another… Is anyone even looking for him? Or is he buried alive? Forgotten? What would you do, trapped in such a predicament? What is going to help him now? This bold, challenging, breathtaking tale of courage reveals the source of willpower that drove a man who would not give up. What he learned, we can all learn - about ourselves, and about life. In every life, there is a source of strength. Do you know yours? What Viral learned by going to his sources of inner strength can change your perspective on living. It can empower you to face anything… once you, too, know how to choose light. A shining, inspirational story you will not be able to put down… or ever forget.

You're Not Pretty Enough


Jennifer Tress - 2013
    From the “Sex Papers” Jen drew as a four-year-old when her mom was pregnant with her younger sister, to her sole teenage act of rebellion: going to church. “We’re very disappointed in you,” her nonreligious parents said. When she was sixteen Jennifer fell in love with Jon Bon Jovi and felt certain that if he just met her, he’d feel exactly the same way. They met all right. But that’s not what happened.At twenty-three Jen married her college sweetheart and divorced him at twenty-six after he’d had an affair. Affairs happen every day. What doesn’t happen every day? The wife and the girlfriend meeting at a bar, discovering they liked each other, and then confronting Jen’s husband that same night.The true stories contained here are smart, uproarious and utterly relatable. Told chronologically and chock full of truths, You’re Not Pretty Enough provides an example of how to be comfortable in your own skin and ultimately live a full life (even if you screw up, royally, along the way).PRAISE FOR YOU'RE NOT PRETTY ENOUGH:An unvarnished look at the highs and lows of growing up and growing into ourselves. Soul-baring, brave, and genuinely hilarious, Jennifer Tress is that best friend we all want to have in our corner. Cathy Alter, author of Up for Renewal: What Magazines Taught Me About Love, Sex, and Starting OverJennifer Tress is a funny bunny with loads of tales to spin for your reading pleasure. Buy her book and enjoy the ride. Sara Benincasa, author AgorafabulousSmart, hilarious, beautiful, and from Cleveland?! Bon Jovi really blew it when he let Jennifer Tress just walk out of his life like that. Lucky for you, dear reader, you can learn from Jon's mistakes and welcome Jennifer into your life with open arms courtesy of her excellent new book, which will have you laughing, crying, and ready to beat the crap out of Jon Bon Jovi if he ever breaks her heart again! In fact, if you get the chance, I say you take a couple swings at him anyway. For Jennifer. Dave Hill, performer, Clevelander, author Tasteful NudesTress' writing sings on the page, giving the reader the sense that you're sharing stories with your best friends at a sleepover. From teenage-feuled lust for Bon Jovi to the particularly cruel comments given to her from a former love, Tress will have you laughing and cringing in solidarity. Kambri Crews, author, Burn Down the GroundJennifer Tress is ebullient and hilarious and fearless. Read this book. Mandy Stadtmiller, deputy editor of xoJane