The Breakup Monologues: A Quest to Investigate, Understand and Conquer the Psychology of Heartbreak
Rosie Wilby - 2021
Tragedy plus time equals comedy, right?In 2011, comedian Rosie Wilby was dumped by email. .. though she did feel a little better about it after correcting her ex's spelling and punctuation. Obsessing about breakups ever since, she embarked on a quest to investigate, understand and conquer the psychology of heartbreak.That quest proved to be a creatively fertile one, resulting in Rosie's acclaimed podcast The Breakup Monologues. She decided to ask her colleagues on the circuit about their experiences of romantic disaster and recovery, thinking, 'if one group of people have become adept at learning from catastrophe it is comedians. The worst onstage deaths are the performances that enlighten us most about how to improve.' She wondered if comics had been able to transfer this 'fail better' logic to love.This book is a love letter to her breakups, a celebration of what they have taught her peppered with anecdotes from illustrious friends and interviews with relationship therapists, scientists and sociologists about separating in the modern age of ghosting, breadcrumbing and conscious uncoupling. Her plan is to assimilate their advice and ideas in order to not break up with Girlfriend, her partner of nearly three years. Will this self-confessed serial monogamist, and breakup addict, finally settle down?
Feminism is Queer: The Intimate Connection Between Queer and Feminist Theory
Mimi Marinucci - 2010
While guiding the reader through complex theory, the author develops the original position of “queer feminism,” which presents queer theory as continuous with feminist theory. While there have been significant conceptual tensions between second wave feminism and traditional lesbian and gay studies, queer theory offers a paradigm for understanding gender, sex, and sexuality that avoids the conflict in order to develop solidarity among those interested in feminist theory and those interested in lesbian and gay rights. This accessible and comprehensive textbook carefully explains nuanced theoretical terminology and includes extensive suggested further reading to provide the reader with a full and thorough understanding of both disciplines.
Straight Jacket
Matthew Todd - 2012
Part memoir, part ground-breaking polemic, it looks beneath the shiny facade of contemporary gay culture and asks if gay people are as happy as they could be – and if not, why not?Meticulously researched, courageous and life-affirming,
Straight Jacket
offers invaluable practical advice on how to overcome a range of difficult issues. It also recognizes that this is a watershed moment, a piercing wake-up-call-to-arms for the gay and wider community to acknowledge the importance of supporting all young people – and helping older people to transform their experience and finally get the lives they really want.
Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity
Peggy Orenstein - 2020
It also had an unexpected effect on its author: Orenstein realized that talking about girls is only half the conversation. Boys are subject to the same cultural forces as girls—steeped in the same distorted media images and binary stereotypes of female sexiness and toxic masculinity—which equally affect how they navigate sexual and emotional relationships. In Boys & Sex, Peggy Orenstein dives back into the lives of young people to once again give voice to the unspoken, revealing how young men understand and negotiate the new rules of physical and emotional intimacy.Drawing on comprehensive interviews with young men, psychologists, academics, and experts in the field, Boys & Sex dissects so-called locker room talk; how the word “hilarious” robs boys of empathy; pornography as the new sex education; boys’ understanding of hookup culture and consent; and their experience as both victims and perpetrators of sexual violence. By surfacing young men’s experience in all its complexity, Orenstein is able to unravel the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important realities of young male sexuality in today’s world. The result is a provocative and paradigm-shifting work that offers a much-needed vision of how boys can truly move forward as better men.
A Year Without a Name: A Memoir
Cyrus Grace Dunham - 2019
But in a culture of relentless self-branding, and in a family subject to the intrusions and objectifications that attend fame, dissociation can come to feel normal.
Decolonizing Trans/Gender 101
b. binaohan - 2014
written for the indigenous and/or person of colour trying to understand how their gender is/has been impacted by whiteness and colonialism.
x + y: A Mathematician's Manifesto for Rethinking Gender
Eugenia Cheng - 2020
In x + y, Cheng argues that her mathematical specialty -- category theory -- reveals why. Category theory deals more with context, relationships, and nuanced versions of equality than with intrinsic characteristics. Category theory also emphasizes dimensionality: much as a cube can cast a square or diamond shadow, depending on your perspective, so too do gender politics appear to change with how we examine them. Because society often rewards traits that it associates with males, such as competitiveness, we treat the problems those traits can create as male. But putting competitive women in charge will leave many unjust relationships in place. If we want real change, we need to transform the contexts in which we all exist, and not simply who we think we are.
How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community
Mia Birdsong - 2020
They have family, friends, and colleagues, yet they still feel like they're standing alone. They're "winning" at the American Dream, but they're lonely, disconnected, and unsatisfied.It seems counterintuitive that living the "good life"--the well-paying job, the nuclear family, the upward mobility--can make us feel isolated and unhappy. But in a divided America, where only a quarter of us know our neighbors and everyone is either a winner or a loser, we've forgotten the key element that helped us make progress in the first place: community. In this provocative, groundbreaking work, Mia Birdsong shows that what separates us isn't only the ever-present injustices built around race, class, gender, values, and beliefs, but also our denial of our interdependence and need for belonging. In response to the fear and discomfort we feel, we've built walls, and instead of leaning on each other, we find ourselves leaning on concrete.Through research, interviews, and stories of lived experience, How We Show Up returns us to our inherent connectedness where we find strength, safety, and support in vulnerability and generosity, in asking for help, and in being accountable. Showing up--literally and figuratively--points us toward the promise of our collective vitality and leads us to the liberated well-being we all want.
How to Be You: Stop Trying to Be Someone Else and Start Living Your Life
Jeffrey Marsh - 2016
Through Jeffrey's own story of "growing up fabulous in a small farming town"--along with the stories of hero/ines who have transcended the stereotypes of race, age, and gender--you will discover that you are not alone, can deepen your relationship with yourself, and find the courage to take a leap that will change your life.
Being Jazz: My Life as a (Transgender) Teen
Jazz Jennings - 2016
At the age of five, Jazz transitioned to life as a girl, with the support of her parents. A year later, her parents allowed her to share her incredible journey in her first Barbara Walters interview, aired at a time when the public was much less knowledgeable or accepting of the transgender community. This groundbreaking interview was followed over the years by other high-profile interviews, a documentary, the launch of her YouTube channel, a picture book, and her own reality TV series—I Am Jazz—making her one of the most recognizable activists for transgender teens, children, and adults. In her remarkable memoir, Jazz reflects on these very public experiences and how they have helped shape the mainstream attitude toward the transgender community. But it hasn't all been easy. Jazz has faced many challenges, bullying, discrimination, and rejection, yet she perseveres as she educates others about her life as a transgender teen. Through it all, her family has been beside her on this journey, standing together against those who don't understand the true meaning of tolerance and unconditional love. Now Jazz must learn to navigate the physical, social, and emotional upheavals of adolescence—particularly high school—complicated by the unique challenges of being a transgender teen. Making the journey from girl to woman is never easy—especially when you began your life in a boy's body.
Women with Mustaches and Men without Beards: Gender and Sexual Anxieties of Iranian Modernity
Afsaneh Najmabadi - 2005
Peeling away notions of a rigid pre-modern Islamic gender system, Afsaneh Najmabadi provides a compelling demonstration of the centrality of gender and sexuality to the shaping of modern culture and politics in Iran and of how changes in ideas about gender and sexuality affected conceptions of beauty, love, homeland, marriage, education, and citizenship. She concludes with a provocative discussion of Iranian feminism and its role in that country's current culture wars. In addition to providing an important new perspective on Iranian history, Najmabadi skillfully demonstrates how using gender as an analytic category can provide insight into structures of hierarchy and power and thus into the organization of politics and social life.
Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World
Robyn OchsPhillip A. Bernhardt-House - 2005
Yet bi+ people can often experience isolation and invisibility--even from each other.Getting Bi addresses this by collecting 220 personal essays from 185 bi+ authors from 42 countries (from Australia to Zimbabwe).This book is a safe haven where bi people are celebrated and understood. Bi+ readers will feel comforted, heartened, nourished, and validated. You will find yourself nodding in agreement as you read. You will laugh at relatable experiences. You will receive validation about lived experiences you thought were unique to you. This book is a lifeline to those struggling. You will feel hope and a sense of relief. You will realize that, no matter how isolated as you are, you are not alone.You will hear many stories (which the mainstream leaves out) on the joys of being bisexual.Authors discuss their potential to be attracted--romantically and/or sexually--to people with genders similar to and different from their own. They describe liking, having feelings for, and falling in love with others. Many relate their identity to knowing who they desire, are interested in, and have crushes on. Therefore, many knew who they were bi long before they started dating. Others may never date more than one gender, but accept being bi as crucial to who they are.Each author questioned and subsequently arrived at a greater understanding of their sexuality. So these stories are helpful for anyone undergoing an identity exploration.Authors also bare their souls while processing feelings of anger, angst, doubt, fear, frustration, guilt, sadness, shame, and just being uncomfortable. This book explores many common struggles of bi+ people: - Authors describe dealing with external (or internalized) oppression of all types: biases, biphobia, bi-erasure, heterosexism, homophobia, stereotypes, myths, and general negativity. - Authors describe repeatedly being told they are 'confused' or 'going through a phase.' - Authors describe their struggles with labels. Many get creative and create new terms for themselves or use none at all (demonstrating the broad possibilities of self-identification). - Authors describe the fatigue of having to come out, not once, but over and over again. - Authors describe monosexual partners (and potential partners) who are insecure, feel inadequate, and fearful about dating bi people. - Authors describe seeking refuge in the larger LGBTQ+ community only to realize it may not the safe haven they hoped for. After joining organizations, they have found the 'B' in the LGBT to be in name only (despite all that bi+ people have contributed to the movement).Instead of - or in addition to - trying to fit into potentially less-inclusive LGBTQ+ groups, these authors show that you can seek out and become a member of your own bi+ community which proudly waves its own bi flag. For those who do not yet have bisexual friends, this book offers a peek inside your own community. Reading about others is a great first step to being a part of a supportive and accepting bisexual culture. It will likely inspire you to network, find allies, and build a strong supportive social circle. You will learn about bi+ community leaders, activists, and conferences advocating for the interests of bisexual people. You will learn about bi people who, over the decades, have been organizing movements to fight for social justice, equality, and the rights of each one of us. Drawing from so many different people who have many decades of reflection, you can't help but leave with a deeper understanding and eye-opening epiphanies. It will make you feel empowered and inspired to exercise your freedom of expression. It will give you more courage because of what others, like you, have done. As one reviewer wrote, "This book will make you laugh, cry, get angry, and hopefully open your eyes to the wide range of bisexual experiences."
Queer Intentions: A (Personal) Journey Through LGBTQ + Culture
Amelia Abraham - 2019
But is same-sex marriage, improved media visibility and corporate endorsement all it’s cracked up to be? At what cost does this acceptance come? And who is getting left behind, particularly in parts of the world where LGBTQ+ rights aren’t so advanced?Combining intrepid journalism with her own personal experience, Amelia Abraham searches for the answers to these urgent challenges, as well as the broader question of what it means to be queer in 2019. With curiosity, good humour and disarming openness, Amelia takes the reader on a thought-provoking and entertaining journey. Join her as she cries at the first same-sex marriage in Britain, loses herself in the world’s biggest drag convention in L.A., marches at Pride parades across Europe, visits both a transgender model agency and the Anti-Violence Project in New York to understand the extremes of trans life today, parties in the clubs of Turkey’s underground LGBTQ+ scene, and meets a genderless family in progressive Stockholm.