Book picks similar to
Stupid 911 Calls (Volume 1) by S. Schell
nonfiction
humor
short-story
s-schell
Big White Panties
Dale Alderman - 2008
Although he has been with his wife, Starla, for over twenty years, Dale freely admits that he knows absolutely nothing about women and he has the stories to prove it including: Check Yes or No, Just Friends, You Will Love My Cat, With This Pre-nup I Thee Wed, My Eggs Are Rotting, and Big White Panties. Ladies, if you have ever wondered what your man is really thinking, Dale will tell you. Guys, if your lady has ever left you confused and frustrated, you are not alone. Dale has been there, too. To strengthen your relationship, sit on the couch with your soul mate, share a nice box of wine, and laugh out loud at Big White Panties. Dale Alderman lives in Chantilly, Virginia with his wife, Starla, and two sons, Chase and Logan. He graduated from Virginia Tech in 1984 and received a masters degree from Marymount University in 1995. For 19 years, he worked as a sales and marketing executive for large global corporations, and then he decided to get a real life and spend time with his family. An award-winning author, Dale has appeared on FOX & Friends on the FOX News Channel and has appeared on many nationally syndicated radio shows. Dale is the author of Everyday Dad, a collection of funny stories about fatherhood. He is also the author of The MegaDog Tales, a middle grade adventure about a cocker spaniel that becomes a superhero.
Fatal Descent: Andreas Lubitz and the Crash of Germanwings Flight 9525 (Kindle Single)
Jeff Wise - 2015
All 144 passengers and six crew members were killed. In the ensuing days, a picture of the flight’s harrowing final moments began to emerge. Shortly after reaching cruise altitude, a 27-year-old first officer named Andreas Lubitz locked the captain out of the cockpit, took control of the plane and deliberately caused its descent. In Fatal Descent, journalist and aviation expert Jeff Wise travels to Lubitz’s hometown in Germany and pieces together a definitive and haunting portrait of the killer and the system he betrayed, revealing in heart-pounding detail how a lifelong super-achiever like Lubitz could have committed such an unthinkable act, what actually happened inside the cockpit, and whether current airline regulations leave us vulnerable to similar attacks in the future.Jeff Wise is a science journalist specializing in aviation and psychology. He is the author of the bestselling Kindle Single The Plane That Wasn’t There, about the disappearance of Malaysian Airlines Flight 370. A licensed pilot of gliders and light airplanes, he also has stick time in powered paragliders, trikes, World War II fighter planes, Soviet jet fighters, gyroplanes, and zeppelins, as well as submarines, tanks, hovercraft, dog sleds, and swamp buggies. A contributing editor at Travel + Leisure magazine, he has written for New York, the New York Times, Time, Businessweek, Esquire, Details, and many others. His Popular Mechanics story on the fate of Air France 447 was named one of the Top 10 Longreads of 2011. His last book was Extreme Fear: The Science of Your Mind in Danger. A native of Massachusetts, he earned his Bachelor of Science degree at Harvard and now lives in New York City with his wife and two sons.Cover design by Kerry Ellis.
My Wife's Story
Richard Babcock - 2011
Henry and Hitchcock, a husband is driven to extremes by the anecdotal story that his wife repeats endlessly. Richard Babcock is the author of two novels and a long-time magazine editor in New York and Chicago.
Bubsimouse visits grandma and grandpa
Siegfried Freudenfels - 2017
Bubsimouse spends a weekend with his beloved grandparents. He experiences all sorts of small and big adventures, like a fun hike to a castle, or an exciting pedal boat race on the lake, and always, they learn exciting things from each other.An uplifting and joyful children's book, which makes every grandchild and grandparent want to spend some fun times together. The book is also ideal as a sleeping aid, since it is ending the day with a positive story for the child. Family, friendship and mutual respect are addressed in this book in an entertaining way.You are looking for free children books, free ebooks or adventures for readers? Perfect! Bubsimouse offers high quality google and kindle books for free.
The Life and Prayers of Saint Anthony of Padua
Wyatt North - 2012
The Life and Prayers series combines professionally researched and written biographies of iconic Christian figures with an anthology of prayers.The Life and Prayers of Saint Anthony of Padua is the fifth book in this wonderful series. One part biography, one part prayer book, The Life and Prayers of Saint Anthony of Padua is an essential book for any Christian. For centuries Saint Anthony of Padua, Thaumaturgist, Evangelical Doctor of the Church, has been regaled and venerated as a wonder-worker, eminent theologian, and preacher. To him infertile women, sailors, the poor, seekers of lost articles, to name a few, have prayed to intercede. Thousands upon thousands flocked to hear him preach, and witnessed his miraculous deeds.We hope that with this book, the reader might realize an invitation to call upon Anthony, not just to find lost things, but as a companion in a quest to find a renewed and challenged faith, hope, and love. All books in The Life and Prayers series come complete with a Touch-or-Click Table of Contents, divided by each section. This edition has a linked Table of Contents and has been wonderfully formatted (searchable and interlinked) to work on your eBook reader. You can purchase additional religious works directly from Wyatt North Publishing.Enjoy.
Overland
Ewen Levick - 2019
From vast deserts to an Indonesian fishing boat, a slow train through Burma to an armed confrontation in Laos, lullabies from middle-aged Chinese businessmen to a cold night on the Great Wall, wolves and reindeer herders, thieves and nomads: this is a vivid illustration of Asia and the people who live there, and of one ancient, stubborn motorcycle travelling through the world's wild places.
True Confessions of Margaret Hilda Roberts Aged 14 ¼
Sue Townsend - 2013
Then got out of bed and had a brisk rub down with the pumice stone. I opened the curtains and saw that the sun was shining brightly. (A suspicion is growing in my mind that the BBC is not to be trusted.)Margaret Hilda Roberts is a rather ambitious 14 � year old grocer's daughter from Grantham. She can't abide laziness, finds four hours of chemistry homework delightful and believes she is of royal birth - or at least destined for great things. But Margaret knows that good things never come to those who wait . . .These are the secret diary entries of a girl born into an ordinary life, yet who might just go on to become something really rather extraordinary, and she is brilliantly brought vividly to life by bestselling author Sue Townsend, Britain's favourite comic writer for over three decades.'Essential reading for Mole followers' Times Educational Supplement'Wonderfully funny and sharp as knives' Sunday TimesSue Townsend is Britain's favourite comic author. Her hugely successful novels include eight Adrian Mole books, The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55�), Number Ten, Ghost Children, The Queen and I, Queen Camilla and The Woman Who Went to Bed For a Year, all of which are highly acclaimed bestsellers. She has also written numerous well-received plays. She lives in Leicester, where she was born and grew up.
Broken Bananah: Life, Love, and Sex... Without a Penis
Ross Asdourian - 2018
Broken Bananah is my completely true and overly honest journey through severe genital trauma. What happens when you lose something you love? And... can you really break a penis? Absolutely, and mine was one of the worst on file. Tethered to a catheter and surrounded by that’s-what-she-said jokes, I learned one of life’s greatest lessons: it can always be worse. Experience life and love without a penis in a recovery story that could only happen in New York City. Let’s laugh til we cry, dive into the weird, and grapple with the power of sex in this modern coming-of-something tale.
How to Ruin Your Financial Life
Ben Stein - 2004
This book is a laugh-out-loud way to educate yourself, your children, and your friends about how money really works...and a way to smile while you're straightening out that mess you call your financial life.
We're All A Mess, It's OK: A collection of funny essays and one-liners about the struggles of everyday life
Amy Lyle - 2018
It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.
Nobody Eats Parsley: And other things I learned from my family
David Oakley - 2020
They're so ridiculous you may think they're fiction. Like the time I went to a drive-in X-rated movie without realizing my parents were in the next car. Or the time I let my kid throw a rock through our living room window. There's the time I bought a camouflage thong in a bait shop and the time I ruined a kid's birthday party. And the other time I ruined a kid's birthday party. I can't guarantee that these stories will make you laugh, but I can guarantee that I didn't make them up.
Punching Tom Hanks: Dropkicking Gorillas and Pummeling Zombified Ex-Presidents---a Guide to Beating Up Anything
Kevin Seccia - 2011
It's teeming with savages, thugs, angry toddlers, and disgruntled clowns. And every one of them is secretly mulling a scenario that ends with them kicking you square in the junk. What do you do if you want to take on The Batman and live to brag about it to your kids? What do you do if a rabid alligator picks a fight with your little sister? What do you do if the beloved star of "Forrest Gump" tells you to "shut the hell up" in front of a huge crowd?You read this book. It offers simple, effective instructions for beating up zombies, robots, co-workers—anything. The only limits are your imagination... and your habit of not following through on things, and possibly your uncoordinated, at times comically frail body.
Minus Nine to One: The Diary of an Honest Mum
Jools Oliver - 2006
Having longed for children since before she can remember, she was suddenly faced with an array of unfamiliar, unexpected and sometimes downright embarrassing emotional and physical reactions. And when Poppy (and a year later Daisy) was born she had to learn a whole new set of skills.From trying to conceive and a first positive pregnancy test to Poppy's first birthday, Minus Nine To One takes you through the worries, surprises, excitement, miracles and sheer bloody hard work that Jools - and all new mums in their own different ways - have to cope with along the way. As Jools writes, 'This certainly isn't meant to be read as a guidebook, or a medical reference book - it is simply my story and I hope that you can relate to it in some way (and maybe even relax with it in the bath!).'Down to earth, personal and very, very funny, this is the book no aspiring mother will want to be without.
A Little Me
Amy Roloff - 2019
Finally allowing herself to be vulnerable enough to open up to others, she learned that it’s worth risking possible rejection for a chance at genuine relationships.Ultimately, it was Amy’s faith, as well as the support and encouragement of her community of loving family and good friends, that saw her through the dark times and allowed her to realize her greatest dreams and beyond. Amy’s memoir is an inspiring and at times heart-wrenching account of resilience and the strength of the human spirit to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles.
Your Presentation is a Joke: Using Humor to Maximize Your Impact
Marshall Chiles - 2016
With over fifteen years of success in the laughter business, he’s figured out how to harness the power of humor to change minds, persuade people, and influence decisions. Now, in this one-of-a-kind book, the king of corporate roasts and presentation humor shares his foolproof method for identifying ways to punch up presentations and engage audiences of all stripes. Drawing from years of experience crafting his own entertaining presentations—and working with seriously funny people—Chiles provides step-by-step instructions for learning how to successfully inject public speaking with humor to further your influence, expand your business, and build you career. He teaches readers to distinguish between comedy and humor, and provides examples from his own experiences to illustrate his methods. No matter your profession, your experience—or lack thereof—or the content you’re working with, Your Presentation Is a Joke can help. So whether you’re a seasoned public speaker or are scared stiff about a looming presentation, take the time to learn how to captivate minds by tickling funny bones.