We promise to make you laugh and give you that much needed break in the middle of all the crazy.We have partnered with the most talented bunch of moms and dads to bring you the best, the funniest, and the most outrageous stories to get you from girth to birth.Are you having strange cravings? Have you asked yourself what in the hell is happening to my body? Have strangers touched your belly? If you've answered yes to any of these questions then this is the book for you! Prop up your cankles, grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream covered in olives and have a laugh with our crew. Things are about to get real.

    Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    Tom Cox records the chaos of owning seven of the most charismatic, idiotic and duplicitous cats in the country.

    Smart phones can make us look really dumb! Get this e-book and laugh your #@% off at what happens when you don't double-check before you hit send! Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

    Every page is filled with reassurance that we will see our animal friends in heaven.  The death of a beloved animal friend can be one of the most difficult events we face, often surprising us at the depth of the grief and emotion we feel.  It can be very comforting to know that the animals we love so much are safe with God, who created and loves them.  Throughout his many years as a Franciscan friar, Jack Wintz came to know—the Bible gives us many clues that we will be with our pets in heaven for eternity! St. Francis himself shared a close relationship with animals, preaching to the birds, releasing Brother Rabbit from a trip, or letting Sister Raven awaken him for early morning prayer. Franciscan spirituality tells us that all creatures form one family of creation, and God’s plan of salvation includes the whole created world.  This new, expanded edition of the original bestseller includes:  Wisdom from Friar Jack, in 14 short and simple readings Blessings, prayers, and stories from Scripture  Special presentation page to personalize the gift Adorable photos and short memories of beloved dogs Sections of the book include:  Three Prayers of Blessing  The Happiness Principle  Noah, the Ark, and the Dove Jonah and the Whale The Song of St. Francis Jesus and the World of Creation Praying with Creatures The Soul of a Dog With it reassuring message of God’s eternal love and care for all creation, I Will See You in Heaven helps us to know that we are not alone in our grief, and that our “goodbye” is not forever.   Cover photo: Hollie Betzler (2001-2018), Michigan’s first grief therapy dog, served faithfully at her family’s funeral home and area nursing homes for 16 years, giving a comforting paw at just the right time to just the right person. Her family anticipates her serving the same role at the gates of heaven, where she now waits for them.

    Her fascination with the handsome, domesticated creatures that have shared her flats and her life in London remained undiminished, and grew into real love with the awkwardly lovable El Magnifico, the last cat to share her home.On Cats is a celebrated classic, a memoir in which we meet the cats that have slunk and bullied and charmed their way into Doris Lessing's life. She tells their stories—their exploits, rivalries, terrors, affections, ancient gestures, and learned behaviors—with vivid simplicity. And she tells the story of herself in relation to cats: the way animals affect her and she them, and the communication that grows possible between them—a language of gesture and mood and desire as eloquent as the spoken word. No other writer conveys so truthfully the real interdependence of humans and cats or convinces us with such stunning recognition of the reasons why cats really matter.

    So when Sam heard a woman telling his mum that her cat had just had kittens, Sam pleaded to go and see them.Helen's heart melted as Sam held one of the kittens in his hands with a look of total adoration. In a trice the deal was done - the kitten would be delivered when she was big enough to leave her mother.A week later, Sam was dead. Not long after, a little black kitten was delivered to the grieving family. Totally traumatised by Sam's death, Helen had forgotten all about the new arrival. After all, that was back in another universe when Sam was alive.Helen was ready to send the kitten back, but Sam's younger brother wanted to keep her, identifying with the tiny black kitten who'd also lost her brothers. When Rob stroked her fur, it was the first time Helen had seen him smile since Sam's death. There was no choice: the kitten - dubbed Cleo - had to stay.Kitten or not, there seemed no hope of becoming a normal family. But Cleo's zest for life slowly taught the traumatised family to laugh. She went on to become the uppity high priestess of Helen's household, vetoing her new men, terrifying visiting dogs and building a special bond with Rob, his sister Lydia, Helen - and later a baby daughter.

    Every heartwarming page provokes thought, insight, and smiling reverence for all beings and each moment.More than a collection of witty and charming drawings, the marriage of Patrick McDonnell's art and Eckhart Tolle's words conveys a profound love of nature, of animals, of humans, of all life-forms. Guardians of Being celebrates and reminds us of not only the oneness of all life but also the wonder and joy to be found in the present moment, amid the beauty we sometimes forget to notice all around us.

    Winik's amusing tales of outrageous mistakes, haunting uncertainty, and the never-ending struggle to stay true to her heart strike a powerful chord with creative, impassioned, independent-minded free spirits who know they're different -- and want to stay that way. Winik's seven Rules for the Unruly are: THE PATH IS NOT STRAIGHT · MISTAKES NEED NOT BE FATAL PEOPLE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ACHIEVEMENTS OR POSSESSIONS BE GENTLE WITH YOUR PARENTS · NEVER STOP DOING WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT MOST LEARN TO USE A SEMICOLON · YOU WILL FIND LOVE Rules for the Unruly shows us how taking risks, living creatively, and cherishing our inner weirdness can become the secret of our happiness and success, not our downfall.

    In this compilation all focused around the four letter word that has ended more wrestling careers than steroids, pills and alcohol combined: HEAT!HEAT: A dark cloud that follows a wrestler after a personal conflict or misunderstanding between two individuals or more backstage.JTG will take you, the reader, on a journey, from the beginning of his career, to the final curtain call; sharing stories on how he battled Heat from day one. Join JTG on this epic pilgrimage through this blazing inferno that was his career, while managing to piss off more people for writing this book!!!

    Then everything changed. Peter opened his heart to the Scottish Fold kitten and their adventures to Paris, Fire Island, and in the subways of Manhattan took on the color of legend and mutual love. The Cat Who Went to Paris proves that sometimes all it takes is paws and personality to change a life.In A Cat Abroad, Peter Gethers recounts the further adventures of Norton, the extraordinary cat with the great Scottish Fold ears, who finds new worlds and people to conquer. Norton, who charmed even the most avowed cat haters with his antics in the best-selling The Cat Who Went to Paris, now hightails it to the south of France - stopping off all over Europe along the way - for a year with his favorite human. As always, Norton astounds those around him with his calm, uncatlike demeanor and succeeds in becoming the object of everyone's affections. In America, Norton goes on the TV talk-show circuit, finds himself on the "A" list of desirable celebrities who stay at the ultra-chic Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles, and is the star of a party at Spago, where superstar chef Wolfgang Puck presents him with a Pounce pizza. When Norton and Peter tour the Continent, Norton leaves his mark on Paris, where he encounters five not-so-friendly dogs and a devious chef; Italy, where he almost starts a war over an uneaten sardine; Holland, where he tours the canals; the Swiss Alps, where he has his first raclette dinner; and, of course, Provence, where over the course of a year he hikes in the mountains, makes friends with a goatherder (and his goats), dines in three-star restaurants, and, generally, becomes the most recognizable new inhabitant of the area since Peter Mayle decided to leave London. Along the way, Norton and his human companion face change and learn to understand the problems and the pleasures that come with growing up and growing older together. Like its predecessor, A Cat Abroad is funny, touching, and wise.

    Well-known veterinarian, cartoonist, writer, and one of the world's leading authorities on horse behavior - Dr. Robert M. Miller shares his memoirs of a life filled with all the joys and tragic moments that caring for, and loving, animals brings. Now the vet known for his hilarious cartoons brings the same delicious humor and warm compassion to a distinctly American book in the Herriot tradition: a story that will touch your heart, and remind you of why our bond with animals is so special."

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

    With both hind legs severed by a combine harvester, Oscar's life hangs in the balance. Luckily for him, his vet knows Noel Fitzpatrick, star of the BBC's The Bionic Vet. Noel agrees to try pioneering surgery on Oscar to replace his legs with specially created prosthetics. Against all odds, Oscar comes back from the brink to become the world's first bionic cat and a feline celebrity.

    Maggie was shot 17 times and subjected to cruelty and torture, before being rescued from Lebanon and brought to live in the UK by a determined and loving young woman called Kasey.As Maggie struggled to overcome her injuries, every day was a fight to rehabilitate her. But Kasey was convinced that what she had found in this little dog was someone just as determined to live and love as she was.This is the incredible story of their journey together: a story of hope, unconditional love and never giving up.