“You’re about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat’s butt.” Keep this book handy, someday you’ll be glad you have it. “Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you just be yourself.” Pick any of the many jaw-dropping insults then laugh at the look on your adversary’s face when you whip one out and use it on them. You’ll leave no doubt in their mind that you are a master of sarcastic insults! ADDED BONUS: In addition to the fresh and hilarious insults in this book, you’ll also find great sarcastic observations about life hidden inside this book’s pages, like… “I think the reason so many people have smart phones is because opposites attract!” You’re no idiot, so you need this book to start your new life as the master of sarcastic insults and put-downs! “Hey! Who left the Idiot Box open? Now they're everywhere!”

    Doctors suspected he was suffering from a rare and degenerative neurological disorder known as Multiple System Atrophy (MSA). However, Nigel also had many of the symptoms of both Parkinson’s disease and Lewy Body dementia and an official diagnosis was never made.For four years Nigel's wife, Eileen, kept a diary. This was her "safety valve" - an outlet for the daily stresses of caring for him at home, as his mental and physical health slowly deteriorated. In her diary she gives a frank and detailed account of his challenging and erratic behaviour, his bizarre hallucinations, the relentless struggle with his incontinence and the endless disturbed nights.Even in her darkest moments, Eileen's dry Scottish humour shines through - you will laugh one moment and be moved the next. You can’t help but smile at Nigel's trousers with the “appetite mechanism” and his special “anti-dandruff comb”.As the dementia advances, Nigel retreats into a busy world of army and lecturing duties, harking back to his earlier days. Eventually, the burden of running her own “one-woman nursing home” becomes too much for Eileen and her quest to find respite care begins. This presents challenges of its own. This true and touching account offers a unique insight into the day-to-day experience of caring for someone with dementia or a related illness.Some Amazon Five Star Reviews:★★★★★ Excellent - a great read★★★★★ Loved it★★★★★ Very eye opening★★★★★ Brilliant book★★★★★ Sad but a good read★★★★★ A gem★★★★★ Five stars

    Some of the stories are hilarious. Some of the stories are heartbreaking. All of the stories are true.Most people think of the funeral business as being very subdued where words are spoken in hushed tones and those who work in it are best described as “somber.” Like almost everything else in life, you never really know what goes on behind closed doors.How could the station wagon used to pick up bodies just vanish? What did the waitress at the drive-in really think was in the back of the car? Why did the woman driving a Cadillac stop in the middle of the busy street in front of the funeral home and start screaming obscenities? How did a woman’s panties end up inside a casket?The answers to these questions and other interesting tales are found on the pages of Casket Chronicles.

    After a life altering accident Alex and his wife Gail are forced to discover what the people around them are really made of. Their young family is thrown into an alien world of medical emergencies, insurance nightmares, life-and-death decisions, and family politics. Gail has to put her own needs aside in order to take care of their small children, support her quadriplegic husband, and try to create an awareness of the dangers that lie beyond the water's edge. These sacrifices come at a cost that only gradually reveals itself.

    Visit the Tian Tan Buddha, Tai O, Victoria Peak, Chi Lin Nunnery, Victoria Harbor, Statue Square, the ruins of St. Paul’s, Guia Fortress, and other famous spots.

    Over the next 2 years, I was attacked by a few wild animals, experienced unexplained phenomenon, had a massive learning curve and truly experienced the Australian outback. If you are after a story that was written to appeal to the masses and that mainstream publishers love, then this probably isn't for you. If you are after a lighthearted read that provides the raw truth about life out bush and my experience of it, then click away. I hope you enjoy. Note - mature themes.

    She also tries to kill herself every few years, without success. I hope she never succeeds, but one wonders if she is any good at anything.’ BARKIN, Ellen Ellen boasted of having an affair with George Clooney: ‘Yes, I have fucked George Clooney. I’m very proud of it, actually. If you don’t have chemistry with George Clooney, you need to check your pulse.’ BARRYMORE, John A very young Anne Baxter worked with Barrymore on ‘The Great Profile’ in 1940: ‘He was in terrible shape. In the morning, he was so wasted that his man would have to carry him in and set him down in an easy chair. Then he’d pour Barrymore a Coke. No response. Then he’d shake in some rum flavouring and this great actor would suddenly spring to life. Amazing. Once we were waiting for a take and I asked him why he read his lines from chalkboards. Couldn’t he remember his lines? And he stood up and recited a Hamlet soliloquy. He never made a pass at me, but it was hard going for our resident vamp, Mary Beth Hughes. She bent over once to fix her stockings and he instantly leapt up to pinch her behind.’ BEATTY, Warren Cher slept with him when she was a teenager: ‘Warren has probably been with everybody I know, and unfortunately I am one of them. But since I was only 16 maybe I can get out of it with that. I don’t know if I was a bimbo then, but I had pretty low self-esteem. He was technically good, but I felt nothing.’ He rather ungallantly told of Jane Fonda’s extraordinary sexual prowess: ‘…her ability to virtually unhinge her jaw. Like a python that swallows prey much larger than itself.’ BOW, Clara Louise Brooks’ husband considered Clara to be beneath them: ‘She wasn’t acceptable socially. Eddie Sutherland, my husband, gave absolutely the best parties in Hollywood. So I asked him one day to invite Clara Bow and he said, ‘Oh, good heavens, no! We can’t have her. We don’t know what she’d do. She’s from Brooklyn.’ BOYD, Stephen Brigitte Bardot once asked him to marry her: ‘I don’t know if she was joking, but I said no. I did not explain that I couldn’t marry an actress who could never be faithful to me. Or at least try. Like, I would at least try, for the first year or two.’ BRANDO, Marlon A drunken Brando disgraced himself on national television when he guested alongside Zsa Zsa Gabor on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show and propositioned her: ‘Do you know what I want to do with that girl, Johnny? I want to fuck her! Zsa Zsa, a man can only do one thing with you: throw you down and fuck you!’ BRYNNER, Yul Ingrid Bergman and Brynner did not get along making ‘Anastasia’ (1956): ‘Yul Brynner was shorter, I suggested putting a little block under him. ‘You think I want to play it standing on a box? I’ll show the world what a big horse you are!’ I never had a complex about my height after that.’ After Steve McQueen up-staged him one too many times during the filming of ‘The Magnificent 7’ in 1960, Brynner issued him a warning: ‘If you don’t stop that I’m going to take off my hat, and then no-one will look at you for the rest of the film.

    Well, look no further. This book contains the top Alexa dot questions that you wish you knew. After hours of searching, I have found and compiled the best questions you can ask. Each one has been tested and works perfectly. In this eBook, you'll discover... - Helpful ways to get the most out of your Alexa-enabled device - Fun questions to ask Alexa echo with your friends and family - Tips, tricks, and hours of entertainment with Alexa FREE DOWNLOAD INSIDE: "10 Alexa Skills You Need to Know" Buy this book now for only $.99 to get the most out of your Amazon product!

    The facts range from strange historical events to breakthrough scientific discoveries. The book is also a continuation of my previous works, 1000 Things You Might Not Have Known and 1000 More Things You Might Now Have Known. 1000 Shocking Facts You Might Not Have Known is packed with interesting, entertaining, educational and fun things to read. You'll get everything from the weird to the wonderful and from the horrible to the hilarious. Facts such as: Starbucks spends more money on health insurance for its employees than on coffee beans. Walt Disney lost the ability to speak and used pen and paper to communicate before passing away. The last words he wrote on pen and paper was the famous actor "Kurt Russell".

     A rare anti-hunting Tory, who campaigned for prison education and once donned a miner's overalls to go down a coal mine, Ann Widdecombe has never shied away from controversy. Her memoirs reveal a singular personality who lives life to the full. From feisty appearances on HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU to her unforgettable and star-turning performances on STRICTLY COME DANCING, Ann has earned her place in the public's affections and has been heralded as a 'national living treasure' by the GUARDIAN.

    She was a New Yorker, had just turned forty, and was about to put her youngest child in college. He was pushing 50 and relishing a sabbatical from his San Francisico law practice. Opposites attracted. A few weeks later they were engaged. A year later they were honeymooning on bicycles in Burgundy, after a wedding in a chapel at JFK. And after five years in San Francisco, they sold their house, quit their jobs and moved to Paris -- “permanently,” they said. For seven years their home was in a foreign country, in a foreign culture, bathed in a foreign language, on the rue des Marronniers in the 16th Arrondissement of the most beautiful city in the world. We Always Had Paris is the story of their adventure. It really happened. It is also a love story.

    They were already used to a simple life, having spent the last three years living on their boat in France for the summer seasons, and returning to the UK and their caravan for the winters. This tiny cabin would now be their new home for the winter months, taking them a step further along the road to self-sufficiency. They had no electricity, no kitchen, no bathroom or bedroom and the loo was a bucket in a shed, but the property came with five acres of field and woodland.From now on their lives would be simple, pared back to the basics, but they found that an off-grid lifestyle was by no means an uncomfortable experience. Responsibilities didn’t disappear but they changed, becoming less onerous. There was more time to think, and to appreciate the natural world around them. Living in such rural isolation, each day brought something new to marvel at: deer browsing in the field at dusk, salamanders on the doorstep, owls calling by night.If their own world felt increasingly magical, the outside world was far from it. They had moved to a foreign country at an historic time, living through a pandemic and adapting to the day-to-day implications of Brexit.A Simple Life doesn’t just follow Mary-Jane and Michael as they settle into their new lives, it also raises questions about what really matters to people. What makes us happy? How does it feel to have few possessions? Will life become unbearable without a flushing toilet?Thought-provoking and amusing, this book opens a window onto a different way of living. Mary-Jane shares a wealth of information and, if you have ever found yourself longing for a simpler life, this might tempt you to take those first tentative steps on the journey.

    Parrish Times tracks his amazing journey over the last four decades, through a rollercoaster ride of emotions in surely the most dangerous and exhilarating sporting arena there is.In the 1970s Steve was competing for the world motorcycle championship with legendary team mate Barry Sheene on a Suzuki. After retiring in 1986, Steve managed a successful Yamaha factory team to three British Superbike Championship titles and started a truck-racing career, becoming the most successful truck racer ever. He also proved to be a natural commentator, first for BBC radio, then transferring to television with Sky, ITV and Eurosport. Against this backdrop are Steve's notorious pranks: posing as a medical doctor to allow John Hopkins to fly from Japan to the Australian GP; impersonating Barry Sheene in a qualifying session; owning a fire engine, a hearse, and an ambulance - parking it on double yellow lines with the doors open in visits to his local bank.It's a funny, hell-raising account of life - and death - in the fast lane that will keep readers enthralled to the end. Barry Sheene's final words to his best friend sum it up: 'Neither of us will die wondering.'

    

     In February 2016, desperate to do a physical challenge before my left knee decided the only thing it was good for was a waiting list, I asked my youngest son if he wanted to come for a walk with me. The result was ‘Father, Son and the Pennine Way,’ the story of 5 days and 90 miles on the UK’s toughest national trail. “A great read. It made me laugh out loud – and inspired me to challenge myself.” “I adored this book. It’s incredibly well-written, refreshing, witty and heart-warming.” “One of the funniest, most moving books I’ve read. Move over, Bill Bryson, you have a successor.” Those are just some of the reviews for ‘Father, Son and the Pennine Way.’ ‘Walking Shorts’ contains the stories that explain how I came to invite Alex out for a walk – and what happened afterwards. It’s my journey and – like ‘Pennine Way’ – it’s the story of a father/son relationship. It’s a book you can dip into when you need a laugh, a pick-me-up or some inspiration. It’s a book you can read in bed, on your commute or even on the loo. It’s a book that’ll make you smile, nod in agreement – and think, “Well if he can do that…”