There was a gross woman named Rebecca who was sunbathing all naked and she was fat. Douglas walked up to her and said, "I need to poop". "Okay, Rebecca replied, "I like poop". Douglas squatted down over the fat sunbathing lady and went poop. The poop sat there on Rebecca's boobs, looking like a weiner...."Why are we here?", Douglas cried as poop came out his weiner in a long thin strip, it was weiner-poop, which is the grossest poop of all.The peepee got on the woman's leg and she screamed, pooping out her boobs.And so when the pee got mixed with the poop it smelled like a butt.And the poop and the pee lived happily ever after.

    Still reeling from a bitter divorce, she is finally starting to move forward when the unthinkable happens. Kristen is diagnosed with an incurable form of heart disease. Unless she receives a heart transplant, the doctors say she will be dead within the year. With summer vacation fast approaching, Kristen enlists the help of her thrice-divorced sister, Jackie. She packs-up her two teenage daughters, Alison and Emily, and together they drive to an old family beach house on the shores of Sunset Cove, Michigan. It’s here that Kristen hopes to reconnect with her girls, while at the same time building memories that will live on long after she's gone. But the beach house is in a ramshackle state of disrepair – the paint is peeling, the shutters are hanging off, and there’s no television or internet, much to the despair of sixteen-year-old Alison. But Kristin is determined to bring her emotionally fractured family back together. And there, over one memorable summer, Kristen and her girls embark on an emotional journey that will raise them to the heights of love, forgiveness, and self-discovery, as well as plunging them into the dark depths of heartache and despair. Will Kristin be able to open her heart again? And more importantly, will she be able to bring her fractured family back together before time runs out…? Reminiscent of Nicholas Sparks, Remember Last Summer will have you reaching for a tissue, whilst praying for a miracle.

    He asked, “What if every single word of Scripture is absolutely true and I can trust it? How do I respond? Something in me should change, but what? How?” This book is the result of that exploration.Writing as our guide, he uses a storyteller’s imagination to illuminate key moments from the Scriptures, primarily from the life and ministry of Jesus. In addition, Martin shares key moments from his own journey as a disciple—and bondservant—of Christ and a mentor to others. The result is a striking exploration of truth that helps us not just think differently, but live differently. Today.

    The poems are chosen from The Book of Hours (1899-1903), The Book of Images (1902 and 1906), New Poems (1907 and 1908), Requiem (1909), Duino Elegies (1923), Sonnets to Orpheus (1923), and the posthumous Poems 1906-26. This selection was made by Professor Theodore Ziolkowski of Princeton University, who drew from the various New Directions volumes of Rilke's work translated by J. B. Leishman.

    Filled with dark humor and an unforgettable cast of characters Oliver Twist, Fagin, Nancy, Bill Sykes, and the Artful Dodger, to name a few Dickens's second novel is a compelling social satire that has remained popular since it was first serialized in 1837-39. The text for this Modern Library Paperback Classic is taken from the 1846 New Edition, revised and corrected by the author. It includes new explanatory notes and an appendix, A Brief History of the English Poor Laws.

    Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci (15 April 1452 - 2 May 1519) was an Italian polymath, painter, sculptor, architect, musician, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, geologist, cartographer, botanist, and writer.

    F. Benson, best known for his irresistible Mapp and Lucia novels set in the fictional town of Tilling, England, was a prolific and beloved novelist. Though the Mapp and Lucia books remain popular to this day, this kindred book will be back in print for the first time since its initial publication. The son of E. W. Benson, archbishop of Canterbury from 1883 to 1896, the young E. F. Benson was educated at Marlborough School and at King's College, Cambridge. After graduation he worked in Athens for the British School of Archaeology from 1892 to 1895, and later in Egypt for the Society for the Promotion of Hellenic Studies. In 1893 he published Dodo, a novel that attracted wide attention. It was followed by a number of other successful novels, including his hugely popular Mapp and Lucia series. In 1938 he was made an honorary fellow of Magdalene College, Cambridge. He died in February 1940. Praise for Mrs. Ames: "An extraordinary study in comedy and quite the best thing artistically that Mr. Benson has done."-New York Times

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    He provided details of slave markets in Washington, DC, as well as describing at length cotton cultivation on major plantations in Louisiana.President Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation on January 1, 1863, as the nation approached its third year of bloody civil war. The proclamation declared "that all persons held as slaves" within the rebellious states "are, and henceforward shall be free."

    In this fast-paced world in which we live, things are set up for maximum speed and efficiency. Technology is now moving faster than ever before. Smartphones are so cutting edge that they allow news events to arrive seconds after they actually occur. We are so used to everything moving at lightning speed, that we have a very hard time adjusting to the slower pace that God likes to work things out. Dazed and confused we look for answers in all the wrong places. Our life becomes directed by fear instead of faith. We grow disheartened. Our faith can weaken. If you watch a seed grow you will not see much change from one day to the next. Although without water and care it will die. Faith is no different. There are perfect times in your future. When your life will blossom. All that God asks is for you to wait for them to be revealed. Thing is, we do not like to wait. Many times when life is not going as we like, we force things to happen. God's timing is not good enough for us. Pushing life is like digging up a seed to check if it has germinated, this may sound crazy but this is exactly what people do when they don't wait for Gods timing. We pray. We have faith. But, we lack an essential ingredient? Often we need to be reminded of the fruits that come from waiting. If you learn to wait for God’s timing, your life will overflow with grace. Surely that is not for me? Yes, it can be. Within these pages, I will share with you what scripture says about waiting for Gods timing. Powerful. Stories of those that listened and also those that did not. Enlightening. It is so easy to get carried away with life. Forgetting what is important. Casting the truth to one side. I welcome you to take this journey with me and leave your stressful life behind. Surrender. Trust Gods perfect timing, and you will be given the desires of your heart.

    Every act can be categorized as either a selfish act or a selfless act. “Selfish or Selfless: Which One Are You?,” discusses how you can discover whether or not you are doing things that are selfish (about your own wants, your own need, and your own desires) or whether you are doing things that are selfless (things that are about other people’s wants, other people’s needs and you do things that benefit others). Do you know which one you are? Have you thought about why you do what you do and how it impacts the people around you? Learn how to discover whether you are selfish or selfless and how to change sides if you need to.

    Told from a fresh, personal perspective, these stories and poems form a warm, inspiring collection of remembrances of children,Christmas, marriage, trials, friendship, the seasons, grace, and above all, God’s love for us. Things Pondered proves Beth Moore not only to be an effective speaker and author of popular Bible studies, but also show her to be a gifted, sensitive writer and poet.

    Designed to provide insight and an overview about each text for students and teachers, these guides endeavor to develop knowledge and understanding rather than just provide answers and summaries.

    And since you're being compared to a rat in this book, the whole "Maze" analogy works like a charm.When you come to see the "Psycho-babble on the Wall," you can discover for yourself how to deal with change in the workplace, and how to find the Cheese that will make your life joyous and fulfilling.Failing that, if you were forced by your boss to read "Who Moved My Cheese?" before getting a pay cut or a pink slip, "Who Cut The Cheese?" will at least give you the last laugh!NOTE: "Who Cut the Cheese?" is a small gem - meaning that it's roughly 1400 pages shorter than "War and Peace," but roughly the same length as the teeny tiny original book (around 80 pages). That's why the price is low, but the "laughs per page" ratio is high!