When Farts Had Colors is the story of 4th grader Lance Chance who hates Mondays. This particular Monday Lance's mom coaxes Lance to school with his favorite sandwiches and a 'wish-kiss'. On his way to school Lance is tormented by "the biggest, meanest 4th grader ever to stalk the halls of Alfonso Orr Elementary School. Merry Maddox. Bully Extraordinaire…”A legend" and her posse of mayhem, the Crazy M&Ms. If having to hand over his sandwiches and perform a certain humiliating act wasn't enough, Lance gets blamed by Merry Maddox for letting out a fart so horrible it forces the entire school to evacuate. Lance runs away from school and wishes that farts had colors. "Then everyone would have known it was Merry Maddox who sent out those heat seeking missiles of doom and destruction," thinks Lance. And just like that, Lance's wish comes true. Will Lance come up with a plan to expose Merry Maddox and reveal her true colors?

    If you had a beaver's, you'd have orange teeth! And if you had a naked mole rat's set of teeth, you could move each one separately, like chopsticks! The animal kingdom has lots of cool teeth, but yours are pretty awesome, too!

    Farts: A Spotter's Guide will help you pinpoint he (or she) who dealt it every time. This hilarious book identifies the habitat, range, voice, and "field marks" of tencommon wind breakers, from the gentle hiss of the Silent-but-Deadly to the rip-roaring flatulation of the Seismic Blast. The attached battery powered fart machine reproduces each emanation in accurate sound. Grossly hip illustrations by the Fudge Factory'syes, you read that rightTravis Millard depict the offenders and offendees in brilliant detail. Printed on durable card stock, this is pure, unbridled entertainment for the giggling child in all of us. Let 'er rip!

    Featuring over 50 pages of vibrant computer graphic mayhem that's sure to make you snicker!

    With a little courage Emily quickly discovers how powerful her quills are and regains her self-esteem as she finds her unique place in the group.Emily’s Quills is a heartwarming story that can help both parents and teachers discuss important life lessons such as: kindness, cooperation, self-esteem, acceptance of differences, empathy, compassion, resilience and friendship.

    It is during the Queen's Ball, at which “society's most important nobility” are in attendance (all of whom are animals), that a “major crime has been committed”: the queen's shadow has been stolen! Mantis Shrimp, the Royal Detective, takes the lead in the investigation to find the perpetrator, and one by one the animal suspects defend their innocence. From a shark and a snake to a dragonfly and a goat, each creature's testimony explains their version of the scene of the crime based on their own unique eyesight, while the finely textured and detailed artwork illustrates the ballroom as viewed by that animal. In sidebars to the story, the author provides factual information about how the eyesight of each animal works, and why. As each animal's perspective sheds new light on the mystery, it becomes clear to children that there are many different ways to see what goes on in the world. A section on how human vision works, background on each of the animals mentioned in the story and a glossary are provided at the back of the book. This is a unique and sophisticated book unlike any other. It would be an excellent resource for life science lessons on animal and human characteristics. The sly humor, engaging storytelling and layered narrative also make it a terrific mystery read.

    It includes books 4, 5 and 6 in the series.

    This exciting new book, from a leading expert in working with expectant dads, doesn’t sideline or speak down to men. Instead it provides an array of targeted information to fully prepare men for their new roles – as both birth partners and fathers.The Expectant Dad’s Handbook is a one-stop guide for men on their path to fatherhood. It provides practical answers to all the questions on the mind of a dad-to-be – from what to expect at each stage of pregnancy to how to cope with any worries and fears about becoming a dad. It also reveals unique insights into a dad’s role during labour, showing key strategies for improving the birth.Both practical and accessible, this guide will provide all the information and advice fathers need for the journey ahead.

    It was a cartoon that appeared for many years in daily newspapers and was loved by millions. (And was confusing to millions more.) But one day he stopped.Gary went into hiding. He made a couple short films. He played his guitar. He threw sticks for his dogs. They threw some back.Yet Gary was restless. He couldn't sleep nights. Something haunted him. (Besides Gramps.) Something that would return him to his roots in biology, drawing and dementia--a tale called There's a Hair in My Dirt! A Worm's Story.It begins a few inches underground, when a young worm, during a typical family dinner, discovers there's a hair in his plate of dirt. He becomes rather upset, not just about his tainted meal but about his entire miserable, wormy life. This, in turn, spurs his father to tell him a story--a story to inspire the children of invertebrates everywhere.And so Father Worm describes the saga of a fair young maiden and her adventuresome stroll through her favorite forest, a perambulator's paradise. It is a journey filled with mystery and magic. Or so she thinks.Which is all we'll say for now.What exactly does the maiden encounter?Does Son Worm learn a lesson?More important, does he eat his plate of fresh dirt?Well, you'll have to read to find out, but let's just say the answers are right under your feet.Written and illustrated in a children's storybook style, There's a Hair in My Dirt! A Worm's Story is a twisted take on the difference between our idealized view of Nature and the sometimes cold, hard reality of life for the birds and the bees and the worms (not to mention our own species).Told with his trademark off-kilter humor, this first original non--Far Side book is the unique work of a comic master.Now Larson can finally sleep at night.Question is, will you?(from the back cover)

    There is a better way.Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting brings the joy back into family life and helps parents to raise confident, responsible adults. Based on her forty-plus years of experience, behavioral specialist Noël Janis-Norton outlines a clear, step-by-step plan that will help any parent raise a child who is cooperative and considerate, confident and self-reliant. Transform your family life with these five strategies: Descriptive Praise, Preparing for Success, Reflective Listening, Never Ask Twice and Rewards and Consequences. You’ll begin to see results almost immediately: • Kids start cooperating the first time you ask • Mornings, bedtimes, mealtimes and homework all become easier • Even very resistant kids start saying” yes” instead of “no” Full of examples and real stories from parents, this book gives you the complete tool-kit to achieve Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting.

    This book relies on the latest information from cryptozoologists, experts who study these mysterious beings, and the counter-arguments are explored from experts who strongly believe they do not exist. Stories from eyewitnesses are recounted, as well. Included in the book are Bigfoot (Sasquatch), Loch Ness monster, Mokele Mbembe (Africa), Kongamato, Shunka Warak'in, Mapinguari (South America), giant squids, mermaids, coelocanthes, and more. An extensive For Further Investigation section, offering readers more places to find information, will conclude the book.

    Children learn to identify a variety of different plant, animal and insect species.-- Helps children identify different species.-- Includes scrapbook pages, for notes or drawings.-- Features detailed true-to-life illustrations.

    This book also comes with a free printable coloring book for you and your child…just click the link inside to find out how to get it! Download Your Copy Right Now! Just Scroll to the top of the page and select the BuyBook Tags:kids books, children's books bedtime stories for kids, bedtime storybook collection, bedtime storybook, kids stories, bedtime stories for children, bedtime reading, free childrens books, Children's books, short stories, kids stories, stories for kids, stories for children, kids ebooks, short stories, bedtime stories, kids stories, stories for kids, short stories for kids, short stories, stories for kids, jokes, kids stories, childrens stories, kids books, childrens books, books for kids, bedtime stories, kids books, ebooks, books for kids, jokes, kids, hilarious, children, kid, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book about animals, elementary, kids book, books for kids, childrens book, book, kindle book, kindle ebook, comedy, kindle unlimited, kindle unlimited books for kids, kindle unlimited books for children, humor, early reader, beginning reader, kids comedy, bedtime stories, free ebooks, ebooks free, stories for kids, preschool, ages 3-5, ages 6-8, ages 9-12, preteen, beginning readers, beginner reading, kids stories, children stories

    but he’s gone missing! Now it’s up to Alex to find him. Teaming up with a wacky old wizard called Abraham and a crew of the laziest sailors around, Alex must brave storms, creepers, zombies and much worse to find out what has happened to her best friend. But will she be able to survive this crazy adventure? When will Abraham stop talking to random objects? What is going on with the mysterious island? And why does Captain Cat Danger like cats so much? Find out the answer to these questions and more as Alex's journey leads her into the adventure of a lifetime! Danger! Excitement! But will she find Scotty? Great book for kids aged 7 to 12.

    For a long time he's been hoping that he could get adopted by a nice human family one day. But when Zombie finally gets his wish, things quickly get out of control, and turn crazier, and funnier than everyone expects. What will you get when a 12 year old zombie goes to live with a human family? All kinds of hysterically ridiculous adventures, that's what! Want to know what kind of trouble Zombie gets into? Then Jump into This Hilarious Adventure Today! WARNING: This Book Will Cause Spontaneous Bursts of Uncontrollable Laughter Anywhere and Anytime. Not to Be Read in Quiet Places (Like the Library) or On the Toilet. From book: . . .But when you're a zombie, you have to get used to your body doing some weird things. Like one of the zombie kids I know has a really weird belly button. Actually, his belly button is a screw. The other zombie kids always ask him why he has a screw for a belly button. But he said that he really didn't know. So one time, we decided to get a screwdriver. And when we finally got the screw out, the weirdest thing happened. . . .His butt fell off. Get Your Copy Today! Kids age 8-12 will Laugh Their Heads Off while reading This Zany Comic Adventure. Perfect New Book Series to Bring the Gift of Laughter to Your 8-12 year old Son or Daughter. **Fully Illustrated with over 150 Pictures!** (A Non-Minecraft Book) Parents: This book is a must-read for children who love to laugh. Kids ages 8-12 can't wait to jump into to these adventures! Great Books for Kids age 9 12, also perfect kids epic books for ages 8, 9 , 10 , 11 , 12 and older. If you are looking for books for 8-12 year old boys and girls, these funny Zombie books are great to motivate your child to enjoy reading. What can we say? Kids love books about funny zombies!