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Date Night (Audible Original)
Jeffery Deaver
Death is a topic Bradford Douglas is intimately familiar with. The young attorney is on a crusade against capital punishment. He's saved a number of death row inmates, but none of his cases has been as tough as the one he now faces: Henry Combs, a vicious serial killer, has only hours to live when Douglas is summoned for a Hail Mary attempt to have the man's sentence commuted to life imprisonment. As Douglas races to pursue whatever strategies he can think of, he finds his passion for justice giving way to something altogether different.An obsession.
Flat-Out Love
Jessica Park - 2011
It's about a journey.Something is seriously off in the Watkins home. And Julie Seagle, college freshman, small-town Ohio transplant, and the newest resident of this Boston house, is determined to get to the bottom of it. When Julie's off-campus housing falls through, her mother's old college roommate, Erin Watkins, invites her to move in. The parents, Erin and Roger, are welcoming, but emotionally distant and academically driven to eccentric extremes. The middle child, Matt, is an MIT tech geek with a sweet side ... and the social skills of a spool of USB cable. The youngest, Celeste, is a frighteningly bright but freakishly fastidious 13-year-old who hauls around a life-sized cardboard cutout of her oldest brother almost everywhere she goes.And there's that oldest brother, Finn: funny, gorgeous, smart, sensitive, almost emotionally available. Geographically? Definitely unavailable. That's because Finn is traveling the world and surfacing only for random Facebook chats, e-mails, and status updates. Before long, through late-night exchanges of disembodied text, he begins to stir something tender and silly and maybe even a little bit sexy in Julie's suddenly lonesome soul.To Julie, the emotionally scrambled members of the Watkins family add up to something that ... well ... doesn't quite add up. Not until she forces a buried secret to the surface, eliciting a dramatic confrontation that threatens to tear the fragile Watkins family apart, does she get her answer.Flat-Out Love comes complete with emails, Facebook status updates, and instant messages.
The Guncle
Steven RowleySteven Rowley - 2021
That is, he loves spending time with them when they come out to Palm Springs for weeklong visits, or when he heads home to Connecticut for the holidays. But in terms of caretaking and relating to two children, no matter how adorable, Patrick is honestly a bit out of his league.So when tragedy strikes and Maisie and Grant lose their mother and Patrick’s brother has a health crisis of his own, Patrick finds himself suddenly taking on the role of primary guardian. Despite having a set of “Guncle Rules” ready to go, Patrick has no idea what to expect, having spent years barely holding on after the loss of his great love, a somewhat-stalled career, and a lifestyle not-so-suited to a six- and a nine-year-old. Quickly realizing that parenting—even if temporary—isn’t solved with treats and jokes, Patrick’s eyes are opened to a new sense of responsibility, and the realization that, sometimes, even being larger than life means you’re unfailingly human.With the humor and heart we’ve come to expect from bestselling author Steven Rowley, The Guncle is a moving tribute to the power of love, patience, and family in even the most trying of times.
And One Last Thing ...
Molly Harper - 2010
The detailed mass e-mail to Mike’s family, friends, and clients blows up in her face, and before one can say "instant urban legend," Lacey has become the pariah of her small Kentucky town, a media punch line, and the defendant in Mike’s defamation lawsuit. Her seemingly perfect life up in flames, Lacey retreats to her family’s lakeside cabin, only to encounter an aggravating neighbor named Monroe. A hunky crime novelist with a low tolerance for drama, Monroe is not thrilled about a newly divorced woman moving in next door. But with time, beer, and a screen door to the nose, a cautious friendship develops into something infinitely more satisfying. Lacey has to make a decision about her long-term living arrangements, though. Should she take a job writing caustic divorce newsletters for paying clients, or move on with her own life, pursuing more literary aspirations? Can she find happiness with a man who tells her what he thinks and not what she wants to hear? And will she ever be able to resist saying one . . . last . . . thing?
A Billion Jokes: Volume 1
Peter Serafinowicz - 2012
Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! Famous People Who Returned Our Calls: Celebrity Highlights from the Oddly Informative News Quiz
Peter SagalDrew Carey - 2009
. . Don't Tell Me! to test their knowledge of the week's dumbest news against some of the best and brightest-panelists including author and humorist Roy Blount Jr., author and radio anomaly Tom Bodett, syndicated advice columnist Amy Dickinson ("Ask Amy"), Atlantic Monthly journalist P.J. O'Rourke, Washington Post columnist Roxanne Roberts, and other know-it-alls.
Love and Other Pranks
Tony Vigorito - 2017
It rings the cosmic gong on so many levels, turns so many stereotypes inside out, one scarcely knows what to do but hold on and enjoy the ride. And enjoy it I did." —TOM ROBBINSAcclaimed for his surreal, satirical vision and his “consistently dazzling” (Kirkus Reviews) writing style, cult favorite Tony Vigorito stretches the boundaries of storytelling beyond all limits with his long-awaited third novel. A quest to find the treasure of all treasures launches this swashbuckling tale of romance and high adventure across three centuries and takes you on a hilarious and visionary journey that includes lovers, pirates, bank robbers, treasure maps, yoga cults, love potions, assassins, con artists, quicksand, smugglers, and rock-paper-scissors. Welcome to the “incomparable imagination” (Minneapolis Books Examiner) of a Tony Vigorito novel. And beware the meadow of marvels... "A masterful story..." —Seattle Book Review"Opening with a satire of the Adam and Eve story, this book moves seamlessly back and forth between eighteenth century Caribbean pirates with a treasure map and twenty-first century San Franciscans contending with a false New Age prophet. The author controls these seemingly disparate scenarios with humor and panache, creating such memorable characters as a guardian parrot, a bumbling true believer, and a herd of cowbell-wearing bison somehow relocated to a tropical island. This is a deeply original and satisfying book." —BookLife
Britt-Marie Was Here
Fredrik Backman - 2014
A disorganized cutlery drawer ranks high on her list of unforgivable sins. She is not one to judge others—no matter how ill-mannered, unkempt, or morally suspect they might be. It’s just that sometimes people interpret her helpful suggestions as criticisms, which is certainly not her intention. But hidden inside the socially awkward, fussy busybody is a woman who has more imagination, bigger dreams, and a warmer heart that anyone around her realizes.When Britt-Marie walks out on her cheating husband and has to fend for herself in the miserable backwater town of Borg—of which the kindest thing one can say is that it has a road going through it—she finds work as the caretaker of a soon-to-be demolished recreation center. The fastidious Britt-Marie soon finds herself being drawn into the daily doings of her fellow citizens, an odd assortment of miscreants, drunkards, layabouts. Most alarming of all, she’s given the impossible task of leading the supremely untalented children’s soccer team to victory. In this small town of misfits, can Britt-Marie find a place where she truly belongs?
I Heart New York
Lindsey Kelk - 2009
But events don't go as planned. And when a girl is in possession of a crumpled bridesmaid dress - and can't go home - New York (for the very first time) seems like an excellent idea. Angela's new friend Jenny Lopez gives Angela a whirlwind tour of the city that never sleeps, and a makeover. Who hasn't dreamed of starting afresh with a sassy New York wardrobe, a new haircut and a trip to the make-up counter? Before she knows it, the new Angela is getting over her broken heart by having dinner with two different boys. And, best of all, she gets to write about it in her fabulous new blog. But it's one thing telling readers all about your romantic dilemmas. It's another trying to figure them out for yourself! Warm, funny and unputdownable, I Heart New York is an unforgettable debut.
The Totally Legend of Brandon Thighmaster (Authors and Dragons Origins Book 1)
Steve Wetherell - 2017
I am Brandon Thighmaster. Monk. Hero. Inspiration. I enjoy crunching, squats, looking at myself, looking at other people looking at myself, and long walks on the beach. I also do adventures and stuff, and I guess you can read about them here. But enough about you, let's talk about me. Brandon Thighmaster."
A Dirty Job
Christopher Moore - 2006
They're even about to have their first child. Yes, Charlie's doing okay—until people start dropping dead around him, and everywhere he goes a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Charlie Asher, it seems, has been recruited for a new position: as Death.It's a dirty job. But, hey! Somebody's got to do it.
Everyone Loves a Hero
Marie Force - 2011
Having women throw themselves at him everywhere he goes becomes a serious problem when he's trying to convince her she's the one...
And its price...
Olivia has trouble trusting a guy like Cole, and everywhere she turns she sees reasons to run. But he's the only man who's ever seemed to understand her as an artist and as a woman...Cole is working overtime to prove to Olivia that he's serious, but her deep seated mistrust and his entourage of unwelcomed fans may be more than they can overcome...
Every Breath You Take: A True Story of Obsession, Revenge, and Murder
Ann Rule - 2000
Although happily ensconced in a loving second marriage, and a new family of quadruplets, Sheila never truly escaped the vicious enslavement of her ex-husband, multi-millionaire Allen Blackthorne, a handsome charmer— and a violent, controlling sociopath who subjected Sheila to unthinkable abuse in their marriage, and terrorized her for a decade after their divorce. When Sheila was slain in her home, in the presence of her four toddlers, authorities raced to link the crime to Blackthorne, the man who vowed to monitor Sheila's every move in his obsessive quest for power and revenge.
The Hating Game
Sally Thorne - 2016
She’s charming and accommodating and prides herself on being loved by everyone at Bexley & Gamin. Everyone except for coldly efficient, impeccably attired, physically intimidating Joshua Templeman. And the feeling is mutual.Trapped in a shared office together 40 (OK, 50 or 60) hours a week, they’ve become entrenched in an addictive, ridiculous never-ending game of one-upmanship. There’s the Staring Game. The Mirror Game. The HR Game. Lucy can’t let Joshua beat her at anything—especially when a huge new promotion goes up for the taking.If Lucy wins this game, she’ll be Joshua’s boss. If she loses, she’ll resign. So why is she suddenly having steamy dreams about Joshua, and dressing for work like she’s got a hot date? After a perfectly innocent elevator ride ends with an earth shattering kiss, Lucy starts to wonder whether she’s got Joshua Templeman all wrong.Maybe Lucy Hutton doesn’t hate Joshua Templeman. And maybe, he doesn’t hate her either. Or maybe this is just another game.
The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks
E. Lockhart - 2008
Her father's "bunny rabbit." A mildly geeky girl attending a highly competitive boarding school. Frankie Landau-Banks at age 15: A knockout figure. A sharp tongue. A chip on her shoulder. And a gorgeous new senior boyfriend: the supremely goofy, word-obsessed Matthew Livingston. Frankie Landau-Banks, at age 16: No longer the kind of girl to take "no" for an answer and possibly a criminal mastermind. This is the story of how she got that way.Frankie Landau-Banks. No longer the kind of girl to take "no" for an answer. Especially when "no" means she's excluded from her boyfriend's all-male secret society. Not when her ex-boyfriend shows up in the strangest of places. Not when she knows she's smarter than any of them. When she knows Matthew's lying to her. And when there are so many, many pranks to be done.