Like a wise and witty friend, Kerry leads you through the rough spots of life by poking gentle fun in such a vivacious way that you’ll be smiling at your own foibles. You’ll laugh out loud—and be moved to tears—as you discover some of life’s greatest truths hidden within these simple pages. Reclaim your sanity and enrich your soul with this humorous and poignant anthology that celebrates the joy of being alive and shows how greatly each of us is blessed."

    Johnstone, an outfielder and pinch hitter for the Dodgers, Cubs, Padres, Yankees, Phillies, A's, and White Sox shares humorous stories about his teammates and career.

    Some only did it in college, or got out by sheer determination, good luck . . . or suicide. Others took it on as permanent employment. And many remain haunted by nightmare scenarios where they are the sole server in a restaurant packed with complaining patrons. For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa has your back. His career began at a Texas steakhouse in 1984, and since 2008 he’s vented his frustrations in the popular blog The Bitchy Waiter. A snarky mix of David Sedaris, Anthony Bourdain, Erma Bombeck, and Mo Rocca, Cardosa distills 30 years of food service into dark, funny tales—about crazy customers, out-of-control egos, and what really goes on in that fancy restaurant—that anyone who worked in the industry will recognize and relate to.

    His commentaries on “All Things Considered” and his radio spots for Motel 6 have delighted millions, but he’s never been funnier than in this, his second collection of casual essays. Here are further musings ont he everyday joys and embarrassments of being a husband, father, citizen, and breadwinner by the author of As Far As You Can Go Without a Passport. Fans will be comforted by the familiarity of this return visit to Bodett country. Those new to his work will discover one of the freshest, friendliest voices among writers of humor today.

    (Continued from National Geographic's "Battlefield Afghanistan")This is undoubtedly the most honest and raw account of an Officer's thoughts and actions during combat that has ever been written. After publishing this book, Donny O'Malley's job options are now reduced to low level sales and day labor construction. It is still unclear how he ever made it out of the Marines without court martial.Senior officer's will slam him, military historians will be shocked, and all civilians will be 100% certain he's psychotic.Fortunately, the book is written for the opposite of those mentioned above. It’s written for Enlisted guys.Officers who are brave enough to read will either cry themselves to sleep, jerk themselves off to Donny's picture, or will ask their buddies to write them up for an award with V for having the moral courage to finish the book."My moto boner is still raging strong and I read this book three days ago. I'm certain that my dick is going to explode, and I really don't care, because this book was that fucking good."-Marine I served with."858-555-5555- Hey bro that's my wife's phone number. You can fuck her whenever you want, just wear a condom and try not to blow anywhere near the face. I understand mistakes happen, but do your best. Thanks for writing the book, I really needed that." -Marine I never served with"Just wanted to say that your book is cracking me up. I think the people on the subway think I'm nuts because I can't stop uncontrollably laughing. I think I crack up because I know your jabroni ass and know that the shit you write about that is going on in your head is true, no bullshit. You are completely fucked up, in the good way. If people were to question if you were making this up I could say that it's no bullshit because I spent enough time with you to know that you beat off 10 times a day. I slept above you on ship and heard you beating dick all the time. Fuck it, what man doesn't beat off constantly?It's raw and honest. Like you said, as professional as all of us try to be (officers especially) deep down we are fuckin animals, neanderthals who just love pussy and talking about sucking dick, in a gay way, and when we get the chance, killing bad guys. Anyone who denies that, other than maybe the Col, is a fuckin liar.......PS-your description of Major Dyce is spot on... fuckin moron. Someone should have blew him up." -Lieutenant I served with.A message from the author-This book is a reach-around to all enlisted, and a FUCK YOU to every Officer who has ever written a politically correct, full-of-shit, “I’m a great leader,” book about combat. Every single one of those fucking jerkoffs wrote a book for civilians that not a single enlisted guy ever gave two-shits about. The truth is that Marines love killing more than they love pussy; they fantasize about mowing down insurgents with a 240 on post while 70 virgins take turns blowing them.This is who we are, and I’m sick and tired of nerdy ass book writers hiding our reality from the public.

    Her life in rural Tennessee was filled with family, friends, school, cheerleading, and the daily tasks of living on a farm. And then came a little show called "Hannah Montana." Almost overnight, Miley would rocket to superstardom, becoming a television and singing phenomenon. Quiet days were replaced with sold-out concerts, television appearances, and magazine shoots. But through it all, Miley has remained close to her family and friends and has stayed connected to the Southern roots that made her so strong. In Miles to Go, Miley offers an honest, humorous, and often touching story of one girl's coming-of-age--from private moments with her pappy to off-roading with her dad, Billy Ray, to her run-ins with mean girls. Miley talks about suffering through drama and heartbreak and coming out the other end unscathed (relatively). And now for the first time, she will discuss it all-the milestones still left to reach (driver's license! voting!), dreams to live out (travel to Asia! find true love!), and the lessons to be learned (remembernig to enjoy every moment!). This is a truly unique look inside the world of one of today's biggest and brightest stars as she tackles looking back and moving forward.

    In this book, he is transported back to the deck of the Mayflower.

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    Since his death at just 51 from pancreatic cancer, this has been the accepted view of a national hero. But how much do we really know of England’s only World Cup-winning skipper? We all know that Bobby Moore was an extraordinary captain and defender, but alongside his legendary feats on the pitch he knew scandal, death threats, bankruptcy business, and the sack. He divorced after a long affair, was rumored to have friends in the East End underworld, and he loved a drink. The tragedy of his life was to be ignored by soccer in his latter years and to drift into obscurity. After he applied to be England manager, the FA didn’t even bother to send a rejection letter. There was no job in the game and, famously, no knighthood. As well as the undeniable moments of glory, this long overdue, definitive biography won’t shy away from the grit. Tracing his journey from the East End to a pedestal outside Wembley Stadium, it will, for the first time, look at Moore’s life from all sides, through the testimony of teammates, rivals, family, and friends. What was Moore like to play with, to drink with? What was he like as a husband, father, opponent, and captain? A struggling manager and a failed businessman? This book will tell the story of an Essex boy who became the patron saint of English soccer, revealing a lifetime of intrigue, triumph, and tragedy in between.

    Tom Bailey is no angel. At times a bully, a vandal, and a troublemaker, he has a healthy zest for life and a perhaps over-developed love of mischief. The book follows Tom as he engages in a series of adventures which take him from his New Hampshire hometown to New Orleans and beyond. A fictionalized account of the author's own childhood, The Story of a Bad Boy was controversial when it first appeared in 1869, but is now hailed as the precursor to other 'bad boy' stories such as Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. It stands in its own right as a hugely enjoyable tale.

    Heading towards a half-remembered cave on the Pacific coast where her younger, more adventurous self once stayed, she recalls adventures in Sumatra, the Yukon and many places in between—and wonders what compels her to keep moving through life while everyone else has found a place to belong.

    The book follows the author's death-defying 200-mile journey in his antique Thomas Crapper bath - not just across the Channel, but around Kent - right up to the tremendous reception and huge media attention which awaited him under Tower Bridge. Tim met the Queen, and his bath now resides in the National Maritime Museum of Great Britain.

    At seventy-nine, after twenty years of managing and fifty-seven years with one franchise, this Hall of Famer still suits up in Dodger Blue every day. He also keeps a travel schedule that would dizzy the most frequent of frequent fliers. The embodiment of the American dream, Lasorda went from a scrawny, overlooked Italian kid of average ability to become one of the world’s most recognizable baseball faces. And he fought for it every step of the way.In I Live for This Bill Plaschke strips the veneer from one of baseball’s last living legends to show how grit and determination really can transform a life. We think we know this jovial manager from the rah-rah style that has always raised eyebrows in the world of baseball. Some view him as an anachronism. Some love him like Santa Claus. But there’s one thing they all agree on: Lasorda is a success.With gleaming insight and remarkable candor, Plaschke takes us inside the day-to-day world of this baseball great to reveal a side of Lasorda that few people really know. And along the way, we’re treated to some of the most outrageous stories in sports. We also discover Lasorda’s unshakable opinions about what plagues baseball today.Bravely and brilliantly, I Live for This dissects the personality to give us the person. In the end we’re left with an indelible portrait of a legend that, if Lasorda has anything to say about it, we won’t ever forget.

    There are between 6 and 10 lessons.Activities in this lesson include Fill in the Blank, Multiple Choice, True and False, Comprehension, Encyclopedia Skills Activity, Journal Activity, Vocabulary, Sequencing, Handwriting, Main Idea, Prediction, ComparisonLiterature Skills Activities including: Main Character, Main Setting, Main Problem, Possible Solutions, Character Traits, Character Interaction, Cause and Effect, Description, Pyramid of Importance, Villain vs. Hero.Creative Writing Activities including: Letter, Fairy Tale, Mystery, Science Fiction, Fable, Dream or Nightmare, Tall Tale, Memoir, Newberry Award, A Different Ending.Writing Skills Activities including: Description, Expository, Dialogue, Process, Point of View, Persuasion, Compare and Contrast, Sequel, Climax and Plot Analysis.Poetry Skills Activities including: Couplet, Triplet, Quinzain, Haiku, Cinquain, Tanka, Diamanté, Lantern and Shape Poem.Create a Newspaper Layout Activities including: Editorial, Travel, Advice Column, Comics, Society News, Sports, Obituary, Weddings, Book Review, Want Ads, Word Search.Poster Board Activities including: Collage, Theater Poster, Wanted Poster, Coat of Arms, Story Quilt, Chalk Art, Silhouette, Board Game Construction, Door Sign, Jeopardy.We also offer an extended version of this unit which comes in a PDF format and offers Lapbook instructions, Hands on Art and Creative Art activities. If you purchase this unit study and let us know by sending us proof of purchase, we will download the extended version of this full unit with the additional activities in PDF version to you for $1 more.

    This particularly delicious guide--filled with lovely line drawings and illuminating commentary about that most mysterious and compelling species--offers a fitting tribute to the animal that provokes the imagination and touches the spirit more deeply than any other on Earth. As subtle and sly and often as funny as cats themselves.--Alice Adams.