Meet the man who vacuums bewildered prairie dogs out of their burrows; a frustrated werewolf who roams the streets of Soho getting mistaken for Brian Blessed; a smug carbon-neutral eco-couple; a teenage girl who invites 45,000 MySpace friends to a house party; the author of a business book entitled Highly Successful Secrets to Standing on a Corner Holding Up a Golf Sale Sign and a man whose attempts to teach softball to a group of indolent British advertising executives sparks an international crisis.

    Another super collection of naughty and not-so-naughty jokes, humorous anecdotes, comic interludes, hilarious situations and bitchy remarks, selected by Khushwant Singh from amongst the thousands contributed by his readers and fans - and some manufactured by him.

    The book follows the author's death-defying 200-mile journey in his antique Thomas Crapper bath - not just across the Channel, but around Kent - right up to the tremendous reception and huge media attention which awaited him under Tower Bridge. Tim met the Queen, and his bath now resides in the National Maritime Museum of Great Britain.

    He has given a humorous touch to different moods/shades & nature of people & their way of living life.

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    It's nothing like the suburb you might live in . . . Unless, that is, an insane, Listerine-guzzling Realtor sold you your house? Or perhaps your postman happens to have a disturbing relationship with his claw hammer? A grieving Dan LaBarbara knows something is different in Helltown as soon as he comes back home. Yeah, sure, the town always been a little off. You can feel that about the place, like if you stepped into a house whose only occupants were freshly murdered corpses in an upstairs bedroom. But this is something else entirely. Standing in his little brother Barbie's basement workshop, holding one of those dioramas Barbie's been building since the accident, the ones that seem to move when you hold them, Dan can feel Barbie's terror. Barbie must know something is coming, something big, something evil. He's trying to warn Dan in the only way he knows. Why else would Barbie build a diorama depicting a man-sized version of a cartoon rabbit with bloody teeth about to devour a trembling teenager? Why else would he spend so much time crafting an intricate model of Death standing over a pimply teenager in the school library? And let's not even talk about that little model of the mob of undead surrounding the massive tower of vicious black spines behind the high school. Hilltown has a story to tell, and the lonely brain-damaged man who builds magical dioramas in his basement workshop has been telling it all along. As the evil closes in around them, Dan and his new love interest Jessica must do the impossible: save everyone one in Hilltown before it's too late.

    While his friends were out getting laid and stoned, he was tucked up at home dreaming of his name in lights, of holding an audience rapt, of perhaps becoming a TV heart-throb, or having someone, anyone, ask for his autograph in the supermarket. This is the true story of an obsessive pursuit of acting fame. It is a life marked by occasional hard-fought successes and routine helpings of ritual humiliation: scout hut Gilbert and Sullivan, dodgy rock operas, sewage farm theatre workshop, Christmas panto hell, straight-to-video film flops, leading roles in Crimewatch reconstructions and dressing up as a chicken to advertise TV dinners. It is a hilarious tale of turgid theatre, tights, trusses and tonsil tennis with Timothy Spall.

    She also has a stammer. But when the enigmatic and eminently eligible Earl of Rule offers for her oldest sister’s hand – a match that makes financial and social sense, but would break her heart – it is Horatia who takes matters into her own impetuous hands. Can she save her family’s fortune? Or is she courting disaster? Witty, charming, elegant, and always delightful, Georgette Heyer – the undisputed queen of Regency Romance – brings the whole period to life with deft precision and glorious characters.

     “Mr. Huo, she is your wife,” Carlos’ secretary reminded him. Hearing that, Carlos gives him a cold stare and complained, “why didn’t you tell me earlier?” From then on, Carlos spoils her rotten. Little did everyone expect that they would get a divorce.

    When she gets the news that a ruggedly handsome man has moved in on her grandmother -- and the family finances -- she rushes home to send him packing, without the Burke fortune!But once back in the center of her beloved but outlandish clan--pet tigers and all--Kelly discovers that Seth Ralston is far more of a threat to her heart than to her family. For his smile makes her traitorous pulse race, no man should have a body that sinfully gorgeous, and his kisses...oh, those kisses create total meltdown. Suddenly Kelly discovers an unexpected aptitude for being "wild and exciting" herself-- and loving it. The question is, is this just a fun fling? Or is Seth a man who'll stay...for life?Eight years ago, ultra-sensible Kelly Burke left her zany family in a desperate attempt to lead a normal life. When she gets the news that a ruggedly handsome man has moved in on her grandmother -- and the family finances -- she rushes home to send him packing, without the Burke fortune!But once back in the center of her beloved but outlandish clan--pet tigers and all--Kelly discovers that Seth Ralston is far more of a threat to her heart than to her family. For his smile makes her traitorous pulse race, no man should have a body that sinfully gorgeous, and his kisses...oh, those kisses create total meltdown. Suddenly Kelly discovers an unexpected aptitude for being "wild and exciting" herself-- and loving it. The question is, is this just a fun fling? Or is Seth a man who'll stay...for life?

    It also contains one story from the Vampire's Prey series and one unique story called The Body Farm.Deadlocked : Broken Pieces Vol 1 contains the following short stories.Dial Tone: This story picks up from the beginning of the outbreak and tells Laura's story. In this short story, you'll learn about what she and the girls went through that forced them onto the roof of their house, waiting for David to come home.Just a Secretary: This story is about Gloria and Jerry from David's office building. They try to escape the building, but get caught by a character that plays a big part in Deadlocked 3.The Getaway: When David leapt from the billboard into the Everland River, he emerged only to be smacked on the head by a boat that was being chased by the police in the pontoon. This story explains who that was, and why he was running.Batting Average: William and his son, Billy, have been protecting their salvage yard ever since the outbreak of the zombie apocalypse. Moments before they discover David on their beach, William sits back and enjoys a soda with his son who he is afraid he'll lose soon.Love Letter: A note that Laura wrote to David after the events at the end of Deadlocked. This letter technically should be part of Deadlocked Broken Pieces Volume 2, but I thought it fit better here.Also included in Broken Pieces are a couple of short stories that are not from the Deadlocked Universe. The first, The Summoner and the Prey, is from the Vampire's Prey series and is a unique story to this book. Also in this volume is The Body Farm. This is a wholly original story about… well, you'll just have to wait and see! Let me just say that it has a couple of my own personal favorite horror scenes that I've ever written.

    

    

    Once as thick as thieves, the friendships among the girls have been splintered by life events, secrets and deceptions. Now, brought together again by an inheritance of an historic Bed & Breakfast on Tybee Island, the women must set aside their differences in order to restore their beloved Savannah House. As each woman finds her special talent and develops it through the renovation of the inn, they also find romance—each of them with an unforgettable hero. Hope Matthews is a beautiful and caring woman who has centered her life around her baby daughter, Ella. Although she was born and bred in Savannah, Hope fled her hometown in order to hide her pregnancy from her family and friends. When Hope discovers her mentor Miss Hattie Montgomery bequeathed the historic resort, Savannah House to her and a group of friends, she returns to Savannah. As she immerses herself in her new life as one of the co-owners of a bed and breakfast, Hope keeps secret the circumstances of Ella’s birth and the betrayal that shattered her heart and destroyed her belief in love. When Grayson Holloway, a man who claims to be Miss Hattie’s heir, shows up on Tybee Island, Hope’s heart begins to come back to life. Grayson Holloway is a talented illustrator and author who arrives in Savannah seeking answers about his heritage and links to Hattie Alexander, the former owner of Savannah House bed and breakfast. Grayson believes he is the grandson of Miss Hattie and that she gave his father up for adoption as a newborn. Fueled by his own dysfunctional upbringing and tensions with his own father, Grayson finds peace in the knowledge that he’s connected to the illustrious Alexander family. When he meets single mother, Hope Matthews, he feels an instant connection to the dark-haired beauty. Can Grayson show Hope he’s a man who can safeguard her heart?