He’s alone having no clue who and what he is, where he has come from and where he should go. There is only one way – forward when he spots a little town in the distance. Empty streets, old houses, the town seems abandoned. There’s no one to ask for help, there’s nowhere to go. Jonathan wanders the deserted town in search of any sign of life trying to bring his lost memories back, but odd visions haunt him from time to time. Soon Jonathan comes to the realization that he’s moments from death as absolutely evil dwells in the town seeking fresh souls. The seemingly dead town is only outwardly empty. Grey skies, no sun, no days and no nights. The town is stuck in time. With only one entrance and one exit, but the way leading to the exit is filled with creations that Jonathan has never envisioned, even in his worst nightmares. Who is he? Who brought him here? With a female resident – Elizabeth, Jonathan has to work his way through the horrendous town, figure out his past and find the exit.

    Believe me, I’d rather not. But I do.There is a lighthouse, and it guides our souls along the narrow path to being reborn as humans. It’s the light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, as my undead granddad and the Tibetan special mission monk in my kitchen have kindly told me, there’s a problem with the lighthouse. And if the world is to be saved, someone needs to fix it.Which is where I come in: George Larson, eighteen years old. Who could possibly be better suited to save the world?Well, almost anyone. Especially as being a teenage guy is nothing at all about question three but all about questions one and two.And really, that's complicated enough as it is.“Swedish he may be, but Brounéus comes perilously close to having written the great New Zealand visionary fiction novel... a rollicking adventure – humorous and as exciting as an Indiana Jones escapade” – Sunday Star Times“Great characters... laugh out loud material... just brilliant” – Radio New ZealandStory: “quirky, lovable”; protagonist: “witty and embarrassingly naïve”; love interest: “vomit-worthy” – Critic“Quirky, funny and wise” – Mandy Hager“Fun, fresh and highly readable” – Tearaway“If the Dalai Lama and Terry Pratchett collaborated on a novel, it might read something like this” – Tim Jones“A terrific story; funny, original and surprising” – Fleur Beale

    A man who makes an unscheduled stop gets more than he bargained for in ‘CANDYLAND.’ A Group of teens discover a terrible secret on Samsonite farm in ‘SCARECROWS.’ A Schoolyard bully and his former victim reunite with horrifying results in ‘LONG TALL COFFIN.’ A High school party becomes an arachnid nightmare for one unfortunate guest in ‘THE BOY WHO SAW SPIDERS.’ These are just some of the horrors hidden within the darkest recesses of the funhouse. Look closer if you dare, and indulge in these 16 tales of madness, murder, terror and insanity.

    Did her beloved boy really stab her in the back? Over chocolate cake?! Or is there something even more disturbing going on? Help Lulu sort the dead herrings from the clues in the latest, stand-alone mystery from the best-selling author of The Agatha Christie Book Club and Ghostwriter Mystery series, C.A. Larmer.A quick, fun read with Aussie colloquialisms and some mild adult language.

    Felicia has been quietly in love with her happily married boss for twenty years; now that he’s a lonely widower, she just needs the right situation to make him see her as more than the best executive assistant in Midtown Manhattan. Andrea is a private detective specializing in gathering evidence on cheating husbands—a skill she unfortunately learned from her own life—and can’t figure out why her intuition tells her the guy she’s tailing is one of the good ones when she hasn’t trusted a man in years. For these three women, as well as half a dozen others in sparkling supporting roles—a young model fresh from rural Georgia, a diva Hollywood star making her Broadway debut, an overachieving, unemployed Brown grad who starts faking a fabulous life on social media, to name just a few—everything is about to change, thanks to the dress of the season, the perfect little black number everyone wants to get their hands on…

    But his nights are another story… And when his lovely new neighbor, Honor Brown, reluctantly accepts his help in remodeling her house, Jason finds himself wishing his handyman skills could knock down the defenses she keeps building around herself. Martial arts teacher Sullivan Dean knows real danger when he sees it—even when it takes the form of the gorgeous blonde helping her friend move in across the street. After putting his wayward past behind him to focus on teaching control to troubled kids, Sullivan has learned to avoid party girls like Lexie Perkins. But Sullivan can't seem to keep his hands off the real woman behind that flirty charm—or keep his heart from landing at her feet…

    Making things worse,Leam’s insufferable brother, Zach, the pride of the family, is set to delighten in a few short hours.When Gideon, the evil leader of Darkness, arrives to preside over Zach’s ceremony, the course of Leam’s life takes a drastic turn. Rather than fading farther into the background, Leam is ordered to undergo a series of brutal trials. Vast magical power is suddenly within Leam’s grasp if he triumphs, but Leam can’t seem to stay away from a beautiful girl of Light, and his testing is yielding disturbing results.As Leam begins to uncover secrets on both sides of the war, he realizes the fate of humanity is at stake, and he may have the most to lose in the fight.

    She left her number, but he never called. Wondering if he somehow missed the note on the back of the receipt, she spent her twenties waiting for this man to walk into her life again. After all this time, will Ella finally discover “the one” she’s been waiting for? Or, after being sent on various blind dates, will she give her heart to someone else?Meanwhile, Matthew Ryan breaks up with his long-time girlfriend. Searching his heart he wonders if there is really a “one” for every person, or if there is simply a good, better, and best. Where does Lydia, the girl who would do anything for him, fit into the story of his life? Confused, Matthew sets out to explore his options and find the love he’s been looking for his entire life. Will he find love before it’s too late or will he lose everything?

    Magical instruments, and secret machineries in their own right, stories are within us all. And, the way we appreciate them, from the cradle is, Shah believes, part of the default setting of Mankind. Introduced in early childhood to the wonders of A Thousand and One Nights, Shah learned to receive and appreciate complex structures and storytelling devices. These have been used throughout history to pass on ideas, cultural values and information, as well as, of course, to entertain. Having been inspired by The Nights, especially in the way that one story leads into another, and yet another, Shah used this technique (known as the “frame story”) in SCORPION SOUP. An interwoven and intoxicating collection of tales, the book descends down through many layers, as one story progresses into the next, and eventually brings us back to the first. There is the tale of the Capilongo, a sophisticated bird-like creature that lives in the jungle with sloth-servants, who invites his would-be assassin to dine before allowing himself to be killed. And there is the tale of the Clockmaker who harnesses the soul of a Jinn, in the guise of a hoopoe, and uses it to travel back in time to the realm of Harun Al-Rachid. There is the cautionary tale, too, of the Man Whose Arms Grew Branches, and the story of the Fish’s Dream. Unlike anything that has been published in the Occidental world before, SCORPION SOUP is a rich and diverse feast for the senses, and a book that instructs as much as it does entertain.

    A wave of sinkholes appears on the anniversary of a rural tragedy, and local residents begin to hear the voices of the dead. A woman encounters a predator from her youth—and a chance to turn the tables. A child’s inner beast takes on a sinister life of its own. An undetectable serial killer raises tensions on a college campus. Experimental physics reveals another world, and it might mean the end of ours. Shrouded in darkness, lurking in the shadows, NIGHT TERRORS III awaits you. The third installment of the chilling Night Terrors anthology series includes stories from Jack Ketchum, Steve Rasnic Tem, Dennis Etchison, Taylor Grant, Eric J. Guignard, Aric Sundquist, Jennifer Brozek, John McNee, Simon McCaffery, Patty Templeton, and many more!

    I loved everything about it.” —Jim Gaffigan We all know how Darth Vader shared his big secret with Luke Skywalker, but what if he had delivered the news in a handwritten note instead? And what if someone found that letter, as well as all of the drafts that landed in the Dark Lord’s trash can? In the riotously funny collection Dear Luke, We Need to Talk. Darth, John Moe finally reveals these lost notes alongside all the imagined letters, e-mails, text messages, and other correspondences your favorite pop culture icons never meant for you to see. From The Walking Dead to The Wizard of Oz, from Billy Joel to Breaking Bad, no reference escapes Moe’s imaginative wit and keen sense of nostalgia. Read Captain James T. Kirk’s lost log entries and Yelp reviews of The Bates Motel and Cheers. Peruse top secret British intelligence files revealing the fates of Agents 001–006, or Don Draper’s cocktail recipe cards. Learn all of Jay-Z’s 99 problems, as well as the complete rules of Fight Club, and then discover an all-points bulletin concerning Bon Jovi, wanted dead or alive—and much more. Like a like a bonus track to a favorite CD or a deleted scene from a cult movie, Dear Luke, We Need to Talk Darth offer a fresh twist on the pop culture classics we thought we knew by heart. You already know part of their story. Now find out the rest.

    (Brought to you by the famed Dweezel and Pallie.)"[A] funny and clever little book... I like this version even better than the original story."Chytach18, Reviewer for OnlineBookClub.org"An amazing story, and hilariously funny to boot, perfect for kids and adults alike!"Angela, Amazon UK reader"It made me laugh. Grossed me out. Then makes you laugh some more."Thelma Coots, Amazon reader"One word : FUNNY! A new way of reading Snow White"Isienie V., Amazon reader*****Take your expectations for a fairy tale and throw them out the window! A noble prince? Lame. A humble princess? What a loser! A happy ending? You wish. This eBook is way better than all that. It will make you giggle, laugh, and ask for more. Either that, or it will make you scream for it all to stop. The only way to know is to read it. Download "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" now!The Funny Stories for Kids series, written/recorded by Dr. Dexter Dweezel and Professor Parnassus Pallie, is an ongoing effort to make fairy tales less crappy. "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" is the first in this series, with more to come.**Note: This story is not for babies. It can be crude, and has jokes about butts, poo, and drunk people. It also has a bit of cartoony violence. There is no swearing or sexual activity. If this story had a MPGG rating it would probably be PG, and would be comparable to a modern episode of the Simpsons.**

    All Michaela wants is her own life, to be able to go to school, flirt with boys, maybe eat ice cream now and then. So when the chance to escape finally comes, Michaela and her sister grab it, taking their friends with them.But they weren’t the only ones to find their way out of those labs. Following close behind are another breed of creature, one that doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong, who exist only to feed their own hunger. The appearance of a strange boy who seems too much like them to be a coincidence makes things even more confusing. But as the world begins to literally fall apart around them, Michaela must accept his help, especially when she could lose the very thing she holds dearest: her sister.

    No Jobs. No friends. Just buckets of our own ignorance. Follow along in horror and hilarity as the family acclimates to the new small town way of life and the author bounces from jobs working in a school cafeteria to selling women’s clothing in a call center to opening a barbecue restaurant. Written in a smart, self-deprecating, salty style, Small Town Ho is all at once poignant and laugh-out-loud funny, full of the struggle of an ordinary family consisting of three boys, one big black lab, one assassin of a cat, and two very tired parents.

    On the same day, Lily also meets Eddie Tessler, a man fleeing fame who just might have the ability to change her world in unimaginable ways. But her childhood friend Dan has his own reasons for not wanting Lily to get too carried away by Eddie's attentions.Before long, secrets begin to emerge and Lily's friends and family become involved. In the beautiful Cotswold village of Stanton Langley, nothing will ever be the same again...