So what happens to the 75 percent of cartoons that don't make the cut? Some go back in a drawer, others go up on the refrigerator or into the filing cabinet...but the very best of all the rejects can be found right here in these pages. "The Rejection Collection Vol. 2: The Cream of the Crap" is the ultimate scrap heap of creative misfires -- from the lowbrow and the dirty to the politically incorrect and the weird, these rejects represent the best of the worst...in the best possible sense of the word. Handpicked by editor Matthew Diffee, these hilarious cartoons are accompanied by handwritten questionnaires and photographed self-portraits, providing a rare glimpse into the minds of the artists behind the rejection. With appendices that explore the top ten reasons why cartoons are rejected and examine the solitary nature of the job of cartooning -- plus a special bonus section of questions asked of and answered by cartoon editor Robert Mankoff -- this sequel to "The Rejection Collection" offers even deeper insight into the exercise in frustration, patience, and amusement that is being a "New Yorker" cartoonist. Warped, wicked, and wildly funny, "The Rejection Collection Vol. 2 "will appeal to every "New Yorker" fan -- and everyone with a taste for the absurd.

    And she got one-coming at her at forty miles per hour. Hit by a car and suffering debilitating injuries, and with no health insurance, the fashionista attempts to bounce back into her (thrift store-purchased) Jimmy Choos even as she deals with short-term memory loss, stalker ambulance drivers, trying to stay vegan on food stamps, crazy judges, hot doctors, and unsympathetic government workers.Inspired by her acclaimed one-woman show, this is a bitingly funny and keenly observed account of the cracks in our medical and social welfare system and how one woman's resilience combined with a generous dollop of humor helped her fight her way to recovery.

    Beat him to death with a tree branch after he threatened to rape her. But what started as self-defense became problematic for two reasons. First, she killed Robert Sims after he’d been rendered completely defenseless. And second, she inadvertently left her fingerprints at the scene. Allie is young, beautiful, the smartest person in any room. But she’s also been diagnosed as clinically insane. As her past catches up with her and her marriage starts to crumble, Allie is determined to survive at all costs. Size Matters is a taut, compelling novel that teaches us never to underestimate a woman with nothing to lose. PRELIMINARY REVIEWS: “Size Matters is so full of twists and turns and surprises I couldn’t have flipped the pages faster if you paid me! This novel surprised and delighted and kept me shaking my head time and again. Fans of Donovan Creed should be aware that he and Callie make a brief appearance that furthers their saga.” “‘I’ve done bad things,’ says Allie McPherson, ‘but that doesn’t make me a bad person.’ Well, that’s one opinion!” “This book is crazy! There are twists and turns on virtually every page! While I consider myself an expert on Locke novels, I have to admit he took me on a wild ride that made me guess wrong every single time.” “Size Matters is a cross between Alfred Hitchcock and Quentin Tarantino. From start to finish I was shocked, surprised, and hopelessly entertained.”

    

     Chances Part One: Gino's Story READ BY THE AUTHOR JACKIE COLLINS NOW A SMASH TELEVISION MINI-SERIES! He started with nothing, and built an empire. She was born to bad times -- and lived through much worse. Orphans and outlaws alike, Gino Satangelo and Carrie Jones were survivors in a harsh, loveless world...a passionate young Italian and an exotic dark beauty whose chance meeting yields a secret that can't be spoken for years to come... From the luxury of Park Avenue to the early days of Las Vegas, the raw heat of jazz-era Harlem to the brutality of gangland Chicago, the Santangelo saga begins to unfold -- a tale of secrets, betrayal, and unbridled lust that sets the stage for one of the most unforgettable heroines that Jackie Collins ever created...the incomparable Lucky Santangelo! JACKIE COLLINS... AS YOU'VE NEVER HEARD HER! Now in this intimate recording, Jackie Collins takes you further into the fast-lane world of Lucky Santangelo than ever before. Listen for yourself...as she delivers a superstar performance that captures all of the passion and breathless suspense that have made her the undisputed Queen of glamorous fiction.

    He meets Marlena, the beautiful young star of the equestrian act, married to August, the charismatic but twisted animal trainer. He also meets Rosie, an elephant who seems untrainable until he discovers a way to reach her...2 - AT THE WATER'S EDGEA gripping and poignant love story set in a remote village in the Scottish Highlands at the end of the Second World War.'The only fault I can find with this book is that I've already finished it' Jodi Picoult'Truly enthralling' Scotsman'Breathtaking' Harper's Bazaar1945. After disgracing themselves at a high society party, spoilt young Philadelphia socialites Maddie and Ellis Hyde are cut off from the family without a penny. Ellis decides their salvation will be to hunt down the Loch Ness Monster, a venture his father very publicly failed at. So, oblivious to WW2 raging around them, they make their way to the Scottish Highlands, where Maddie has to face reality and decide just who the real monsters are.3 - APE HOUSE The New York Times bestseller.'If you love animals like I do, it's a must read' Ellen DeGeneres'Had me instantly enraptured' Dallas Morning News'Wildly entertaining' Booklist (starred review)These bonobos are no ordinary apes. Like others of their species, they are capable of reason and carrying on deep relationships - but, unlike most bonobos, they also know American Sign Language.Isabel Duncan, a scientist at the Great Ape Language Lab, doesn't understand people, but animals she gets, especially the bonobos. Isabel feels more comfortable in their world than she's ever felt among humans . . . until she meets John Thigpen, a very married reporter who braves the ever-present animal rights protesters outside the lab to see what's really going on inside.When an explosion tears apart the lab, severly injuring Isabel and 'liberating' the apes to an unknown destination, John's human interest piece turns into the story of a lifetime.

    The killing of one of her best customers reminded her of the one thing -- they slaying of her own mother years earlier. Faced with a variety of suspects, Neeve plunges into the mystery of Lambston's death, determined to find the truth. But as she is drawn into a whirlwind of money and romance, she is also being stalked by a killer who's closer than she could ever dream . . .Weep No More, My LadyYoung Elizabeth Lange is haunted by the tragic death of her beloved sister, the legendary actress Leila LaSalle. Ted Winters, Leila's multi-millionaire fiance, has been accused of her murder -- and Elizabeth is slated to be the star witness for the prosecution. But before the trial begins, Elizabeth gets an invitation to unwind at a swank California spa. There is caught up in a torrent of confusing emotions and perplexing questions. Elizabeth must discover the truth -- and soon. Because someone is stalking her, patiently waiting for the right moment to strike . . .

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    Then there was the Little Mermaid. Today, thanks to Jim Toomey, it's Sherman's Lagoon, a satirical, sea-floor look at popular culture as showcased through the lives of a lovable shark and his waterborne cronies. Sherman's the somewhat dim-witted but happy-go-lucky shark who takes us for a wonderful ride beneath the waves. This Jaws-less jokester teams up with a veritable school of bottom-dwelling denizens to deliver one of the funniest creations on land or sea. With an imaginative storyline and creatively rendered characters, Sherman's Lagoon has captured a considerable following.  Sherman—who never allows thinking to interfere with life's simple pleasures, especially eating—is joined by Fillmore, his trusty turtle sidekick; Megan, his significant shark other; Hawthorne, the irascible hermit crab; and a host of other Neptunian neighbors occupying the lagoon of an imaginary South Pacific island called Kapupu.  In Sherman's Lagoon: Ate That, What's Next?, this cast of coral reef critters never fails to amuse. Consider Sherman opening a wrapped holiday gift box only to find a putrid dead fish—and loving it! Or the day he and Fillmore contemplate plunging to the deepest depths of the ocean, in order to recover Fillmore's fumbled Ninja Turtle Decoder Ring. The fun and laughs never end!

    And, for better or worse, I jotted them down. It was only later, when perhaps I received an angry letter from someone, that it struck me: Hey! Someone's been reading my diary! -- Gary Larson, from the preface to The Complete Far Side Originally published in hardcover in 2003, The Complete Far Side was a New York Times bestseller. Now it's back as a paperback set with a newly designed slipcase that will delight Far Side fans. Revered by its fans as the funniest, most original, most What the ... ?&nspiring cartoon ever, The Far Side debuted in January 1980 and enjoyed an illustrious 14 years on the world's comics pages until Gary Larson's retirement in 1994. The Complete Far Side celebrates Larson's twisted, irreverent genius in this ultimate Far Side book. A masterpiece of comic brilliance, The Complete Far Side contains every Far Side cartoon ever syndicated--over 4,000 if you must know--presented in (more or less) chronological order by year of publication, with more than 1,100 that had never before appeared in a book. Also included are additional Far Side cartoons Larson created after his retirement: 13 that appeared in the last Far Side book, Last Chapter and Worse, and six cartoons that periodically ran as a special feature in the New York Times Science Times section as The Far Side of Science. Creator Gary Larson offers a rare glimpse into the mind of The Far Side in quirky and thoughtful introductions to each of the 14 chapters. Complaint letters, fan letters, and queries from puzzled readers appear alongside some of the more provocative or elusive panels. Actor, author, and comedian Steve Martin offers his sagacious thoughts in a foreword, and Larson's former editor describes what it was like to be the guy who could explain every Far Side cartoon. During its 14-year run, The Far Side was syndicated internationally to over 1,900 daily newspapers. It spawned 23 books and has been translated into 17 different languages. Copyright 2014 by FarWorks, Inc. All Rights Reserved. The Far Side and Tales from The Far Side are registered trademarks of FarWorks, Inc.

    Everyone dismisses her long-term dream to live in Italy as another ‘mad hippy whim.’ While she’s busy planning other people’s happy endings, grief, eviction and debt nip at her heels. Trying to stabilise her life as an entrepreneur in the middle of an economic crash is almost impossible.When her landlord suddenly doubles the rent, Rosie is left with no choice but to pack up her family, two dogs and possessions into a 20-year-old camper van and head off in search of her own happy ending in sunny Italy.She soon discovers integrating into life in a new country isn’t as easy as it looks on TV, especially when the language is a minefield of accidental sexual innuendo. And trying to buy an abandoned villa in Umbria from eight crazy cousins with a longstanding family battle bubbling under the surface doesn’t make it any easier. While Rosie is determined to create the perfect life for her family in Italy, despite a hurricane, a raucous family dispute and a little thing called a global pandemic to top it all off, she begins to realise that the Italian dream may be too big for her. Will she ever get to live her rosy life in Italy? Or has she bitten off more than she can chew?

    She's also about six stone overweight. When she realises she can't cross her legs, has trouble bending over to tie her shoelaces without wheezing like an elderly chain-smoker, and discovers that even her hands and feet look fat, it's time to take action. But what action? She's tried every diet under the sun. This is the hysterical story of what happens when Mary joins 'Fat Club' where she meets a cast of funny characters and one particular man who catches her eye. The story is laugh-out-loud funny and will resonate with anyone who has dieted, tried to keep up with any sort of exercise programme or spent 10 minutes in a changing room trying to extricate herself from a way too-small garment that she ambitiously tried on and is now completely stuck in. Bernice Bloom is the big, new name in comedy writing...this is the first full-length novel after her series of laugh-out-loud mini books.

    But before he can dig into this latest case, he comes face to face again with Arrington Calder, the one woman who still holds a key to his affections. Stone and his partner, Dino, comb the glittering streets of Palm Beach and begin to suspect that more than one person might be after Allison: one so clever he manages never to show his face, but even more frightening, another man everybody has long forgotten. The Short Forever: Stone's new client, John Bartholomew, asks Stone to fly to London in search of a young woman whom he suspects has taken up with a mysterious character. Bartholomew asks Stone to see what he can find to discredit the man, Cabot. What Stone finds is more bizarre than he had expected. The woman in question isn't related to Bartholomew in quite the way he had implied. And it appears that Bartholomew and Cabot, who once worked together on a secretive assignment, now have very different versions of what went wrong. When Stone himself is implicated in a shocking double murder, he and his partner, Dino, know they have stepped into a strange case unlike any other.

    First pressing, limited to 1000.From publisher Topatoco.com:"When Kate Beaton was first asked to make a book, she said "ok, but I only have about five comics on my website, gimme a while." Now the time has come! This is a collection of comics made between late 2007 and early 2009. It is 68 pages of the ones she likes the best! It should be noted that younger self comics aren't there, but perhaps they will have a home all their own someday!"

    Can she give up searching for the one and reclaim the other? Or is she fated to repeat the mistakes her mother made?Jaynie Highsmith grows up in Cub Creek on Hope Road acutely aware of the irony of its name, Hope, because she wants nothing more than to escape from it and the chaos of her childhood.Desperate to leave her past behind and make a new life, she is determined to become the best version of herself she can create. But when she does take off, she also leaves ~ and forgets ~ important parts of her past and herself.The new life is everything she wants, or so she thinks until she finds herself repeating the same mistakes her mother made. Is Jaynie destined for unhappiness? Is it like mother, like daughter? Did running away only delay the unhappiness she fears she is destined for?Seventeen years after leaving home, Jaynie needs a new fresh start and returning to Cub Creek is critical, but she is determined that the visit will be as short as possible and then she'll be out and free again. However, a longer stay may be vital to her future because if she has any hope of changing her destiny, Jaynie must reconcile the past she turned her back on with her present.