Readers will discover how to groom a parakeet, recognize the symptoms of illness, and keep a parakeet safe from other pets. They will also see how to teach a parakeet to talk, understand parakeet behavior, and find an avian veterinarian.

    I alone have heard your silent screams, so I have written this book to help you achieve what everyone who has the courage to live the creative life deserves: complete, utter, slavish adoration and worship. Also: incalculable wealth that insulates you from the concerns of ordinary people." And there you have it. Fondling Your Muse is John Warner's innovative and slightly insane book of instruction for those who want to write, and those who think they already can. It's packed with quirky (possibly deranged) advice guaranteed to make you laugh out loud in the most embarrassing fashion possible. You know what we mean. It also includes a special chapter entitled "Everything Stephen King Knows About Writing Successfully: Plus Some Things I Know That He Doesn't Because He Isn't That Special." No other book currently available has this chapter! And Fondling Your Muse provides the kind of wise, insightful guidance that's missing from all of those self-serious, mind-numbingly awful books that promise riches and fame by writing only 20 minutes a day. Let's say you're looking for a tried-and-true recipe for literary success. Warner reveals all of the best ones, including these succulent concoctions: * Contemporary Romance Quiche al la Nicholas Sparks ("Tasty with a side of hackneyed potatoes.") * Tom Clancy Techno-Thriller Surprise ("Preparation is usually subcontracted to others.") * Chick-Lit Cacciatore ("Satisfies many, every single time. I can't explain how either.") * Harlequin Romance Salad ("Thoroughly rip bodices, pound prose until purple, and combine all ingredients in a large mixing bowl.") * John Grisham's Legal Thriller Stew ("Boil in pot until ingredients bubble over line of believability.") * Comtemporary American Literary Fiction Flambé ("Served in smaller and smaller quantities as the years go by.") Mmmm...tasty. Even really famous people endorse Warner's work: "Fondling Your Muse is brilliant in the same way the most distant stars in the galaxy are brilliant. If it's a really clear night and you tilt your head to the side and squint, you sort of see it." -- Dave Eggers It doesn't get any better than that. So go ahead - get Fondling today!

    Estes Kefauver High School in Dacron, Ohio!  They’re all back in glorious black and white with color Magic Marker–Chuck U. Farley, Maria Teresa Spermatozoa, Purdy “Psycho” Lee Spackle, Faun Laurel Rosenberg, and, of course, Dacron’s most famous son, Larry Kroger.  Learn everything there is to know about Kroger’s past before he became the pop-culture legend Pinto (Tom Hulce), the virgin fraternity pledge in National Lampoon’s Animal House. With a hilarious “Where are they now?” addendum and a brilliantly funny new introduction by P. J. O’Rourke, the 39th Reunion Edition is sure to be the talk of the baby boomers who grew up with National Lampoon and of the new generation of comedy fans spawned by the success of The Onion.

    Dr. Seuss) had a career in illustration that varied widely before he wrote his first juvenile book. Early Works Volume 1 is the first of a series collecting political cartoons, advertisements, and various images drawn by Geisel long before he had written any of his world-famous books.

    From ideas to tips to absolute musts, THE EXTROVERTED WRITER builds on Amanda's successful "Thursdays with Amanda" blog posts on ChipMacGregor.com. This easy-to-read guide breaks down the most popular social media sites and online options to give YOU the tools you need to be effective when engaging with your readers. Whether you're new to social media or a longtime pro...whether you have dozens of books under your belt or are still waiting for your first deal, this book is for you. I started reading Amanda's posts on chipmagregor.com about the time my novel was launching. Amanda's understanding of branding and her insight as an agent were extremely helpful to me as I thought about an overall platform strategy. I had no idea what to do about Facebook, and her thoughts helped me refine what I was doing and better connect with my fiction readers. Charity Hawkins, author of The Homeschool Experiment: a novel My twitter following tripled with Amanda's training and after putting her Google search rules into practice, my blog posts are drawing increased traffic and new shares. Reading The Extroverted Writer is like getting down-to-earth advice from your best friend. Your extroverted best friend that knows all the social media answers you need. Finally! Laura Anderson Kurk (laurakurk.com), author of Glass Girl and Perfect Glass Amanda Luedeke, agent at the number one literary agency in the country, MacGregor Literary, Inc., takes you through easy, step by step approaches to growing your online presence and as a result, your audience. Her lessons are straightforward, simple and applicable, no smoke and mirrors or degrees in physics required. From growing your readership on your blog, to pumping up your number of Twitter followers, to utilizing the eye candy of Pinterest to promote your books, she has it all. I recommend this book for all authors; newbies, established and everyone in between. Laura L. Smith, author"

    Do we have to strip away all femininity to make a female character strong? How do we keep a strong female character likeable? If we're writing historical fiction or science fiction or fantasy based on a historical culture, how far can we stray from the historical records when creating our female characters? In Strong Female Characters: A Busy Writer's Guide you'll learn - what “strong female characters” means, - the keys to writing characters who don’t match stereotypical male or female qualities, - how to keep strong female characters likeable, and - what roles women actually played in history. Each book in the Busy Writer’s Guide series is intended to give you enough theory so that you can understand why things work and why they don’t, but also enough examples to see how that theory looks in practice. In addition, they provide tips and exercises to help you take it to the pages of your own story with an editor's-eye view. Strong Female Characters is a mini-book of approximately 4,000 words.

    The poet trains to hear clearly and, as much as possible, without interruption, the voice of his or her mind, the voice that gathers, packs with meaning, and unpacks the language he or she knows. It can take a long time to learn to let this voice speak without getting in its way. This slow learning, the growth of this habit of inner attentiveness, is poetic development, and it is the substance of the poet’s art. Of course, this growth is rarely steady, never linear, and is sometimes not actually growth but diminishment—that’s all part of the compelling story of a poet’s way forward. —from the Introduction“The staggering thing about a life’s work is it takes a lifetime to complete,” Craig Morgan Teicher writes in these luminous essays. We Begin in Gladness considers how poets start out, how they learn to hear themselves, and how some offer us that rare, glittering thing: lasting work. Teicher traces the poetic development of the works of Sylvia Plath, John Ashbery, Louise Glück, and Francine J. Harris, among others, to illuminate the paths they forged—by dramatic breakthroughs or by slow increments, and always by perseverance. We Begin in Gladness is indispensable for readers curious about the artistic life and for writers wondering how they might light out—or even scale the peak of the mountain.

    Stephen King, Hemingway, Vonnegut, and Orwell detest it. Herman Melville, Henry James, and Rebecca Solnit love it. But why? When is it effective? Have we been misusing it? Should we even care?In Semicolon, Cecelia Watson charts the rise and fall of this infamous punctuation mark, which for years was the trendiest one in the world of letters. But in the nineteenth century, as grammar books became all the rage, the rules of how we use language became both stricter and more confusing, with the semicolon a prime victim. Taking us on a breezy journey through a range of examples—from Milton’s manuscripts to Martin Luther King Jr.’s “Letters from Birmingham Jail” to Raymond Chandler’s The Big Sleep—Watson reveals how traditional grammar rules make us less successful at communicating with each other than we’d think. Even the most die-hard grammar fanatics would be better served by tossing the rule books and learning a better way to engage with language.Through her rollicking biography of the semicolon, Watson writes a guide to grammar that explains why we don’t need guides at all, and refocuses our attention on the deepest, most primary value of language: true communication.

    It’s great to know that – but while you’re reading about it you’re not writing your book.And what these books don’t tell you is how to use this learning and get the job done.Nail Your Novel is a writing buddy – and mentor - in a book.In 10 easy steps it will tell you:*how to shape your big idea and make a novel out of it*how to do your research and how to use it*how to organise your time*how to plot and build characters*when you’re going to hit problems and what to do about them*how to write on the days you don’t feel inspired*how to reread what you’ve written and polish it.Along the way, Thumbnail Notes give tutorials about storytelling and storycraft – strictly when you need them. The author has written nearly a dozen novels that have made it into print – and this is how she did it.You don’t even need to read the whole book before you get started. You read a section, then do as it says. And, once you’re finally satisfied, Nail Your Novel will tell you how to sell it to publishers and agents.

    She proclaims, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. Using examples from literature, history, neighborhood signage, and her own imagination, Truss shows how meaning is shaped by commas and apostrophes, and the hilarious consequences of punctuation gone awry.Featuring a foreword by Frank McCourt, and interspersed with a lively history of punctuation from the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, Eats, Shoots & Leaves makes a powerful case for the preservation of proper punctuation.

    Book in a Month shows you how to: Set realistic goals and monitor your progress Manage your time so that your writing life has room to flourish Select a story topic that will continue to inspire you throughout the writing process Quickly outline your entire story so that you have a clear idea of how your plot and characters are going to develop before you start writing Draft each act of your story by focusing on specific turning points Keep track of the areas you want to revise without losing your momentum in the middle of your story Relax and have fun-you are, after all, doing something you love So what are you waiting for? If you've been putting off your book project, let Book in a Month be your guide and find out just how much you can accomplish.