A poet who favours dark suits, lager and long hot baths, he works on BBC Four in Charlie Brooker's Newswipe and on Radio 4, doing his late night poetry show.In 2009 he won the Edinburgh Comedy Award for his poetical recital The Slutcracker and has filmed some of his verse in black and white to overwhelming critical approval. Billed by Time Out as “He’s a genius plain and simple” Tim’s incomplete and unabridged reading of his book is hilarious and inventive, playful and punchy, and light and dark by turn.

    A baby elephant would do . . . But, if he brings his mother too, There’s Dad’s garage. He wouldn’t mind. To elephants, he’s more than kind. But I wonder what my Mum would say If their aunts and uncles came to stay!Ruskin Bond has regaled generations of readers for decades. This delightful collection of poetry, prose and non-fiction brings together some of his best work in a single volume. Sumptuously illustrated, Uncles, Aunts and Elephants: Tales from Your Favourite Storyteller is a book to treasure for all times.

    It all begins when Dave Lister is celebrating his twenty-fourth birthday on a Monopoly board pub crawl round London, and somehow ends up three million years from Earth, marooned in the wrong dimension of the wrong reality, and down to his last two cigarettes. Together with a dead man, a senile computer, a deranged sanitation mechanoid with an overactive guilt chip and the best-dressed entity in all six known universes, the last remaining member of the human race begins his epic journey home.

    After all, what’s he going to be able to do about it? He’s just this guy, stuck in a small town, pinned there by a load of student debt and a stalled writing career. Oh, and a wicked case of writer’s block.Or at least he was, until a dragon showed up in his bedroom. At midnight. Quoting Freud and muttering about the space-time continuum.So of course, Ian must Make a Choice and decide whether he wants to follow the dragon back into the Connectome and find his muse again, or stay in a house that surely wants to kill him, one repair bill at a time.Follow Ian on a rollicking adventure, where he finds out that he can make a difference. And that some things are worth fighting for.Even if all you have is a can opener.

    It will come as no surprise to anyone that Jeremy Clarkson loves machines. But it's not just any old bucket of blots, cogs and bearings that rings his bell. In fact, he's scoured the length and breadth of the land, plunged into the oceans and taken to the skies in search of machines with that elusive certain something.And along the way he's discovered:* The safest place to be in the event of nuclear war* Who would win if Superman, James Bond and The Terminator had a fight* The stupidest person he's ever met* What an old Cornish institution called Arthur has to do with 0898chat lines* And how Jean Claude Van Damme might get eaten by a lion . . .In I Know You Got Soul, Jeremy Clarkson tells stories of the geniuses, innovators and crackpots who put the ghost in the machine. From Brunel's SS Great Britain to the awesome Blackbird spy-plane and from the woeful - but inspiring - Graf Zeppelin to Han Solo's Millennium Falcon, they can't help but love them in return.Praise for Jeremy Clarkson:'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

    But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer. I know, I know, it sucks not being me. But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.

    In Them, journalist Jon Ronson has joined the extremists to track down the fabled secret room.As a journalist and a Jew, Ronson was often considered one of "Them" but he had no idea if their meetings actually took place. Was he just not invited? Them takes us across three continents and into the secret room. Along the way he meets Omar Bakri Mohammed, considered one of the most dangerous men in Great Britain, PR-savvy Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard Thom Robb, and the survivors of Ruby Ridge. He is chased by men in dark glasses and unmasked as a Jew in the middle of a Jihad training camp. In the forests of northern California he even witnesses CEOs and leading politicians -- like Dick Cheney and George Bush -- undertake a bizarre owl ritual.Ronson's investigations, by turns creepy and comical, reveal some alarming things about the looking-glass world of "us" and "them." Them is a deep and fascinating look at the lives and minds of extremists. Are the extremists onto something? Or is Jon Ronson becoming one of them?

    In Elephants on Acid, Boese details the results of this scientific trial, as well as answers to the questions: Why can't people tickle themselves? Would the average dog summon help in an emergency? Will babies instinctually pick a well-balanced diet? Is it possible to restore life to the dead? Read on to find out...

    This beautifully produced, keepsake coffee-table book is the ultimate celebration of the series, the town, the characters, and the state of mind that is Schitt's Creek. Capturing the essence and alchemy of all six seasons of what is now considered to be one of the most groundbreaking comedy television series of the last decade, Best Wishes, Warmest Regards is a gift to fans everywhere who have made the show their own.Included are character profiles from the cast of Johnny, Moira, David, and Alexis, and all of the characters that populate the town, major moments from Moira's endorsement of Herb Ertlinger Winery, to Patrick and David's first kiss, to Cabaret and the Rose Family Christmas episode. Also included are special features, such as the complete, illustrated catalogs of David's knits and Moira's wigs, Moira's vocabulary, Alexis's adventures, and behind-the-scenes moments from Dan and Eugene Levy and the cast of Schitt's Creek.

    . . For over a decade, Simon Mayo and Mark Kermode have been sharing their film expertise with each other (and occasionally the odd listener) on the airwaves. Now they are donning their surgical scrubs and bringing their unique blend of deep movie knowledge and medical ignorance to their new guise as the Movie Doctors. Mayo and Kermode are armed and ready to offer improbable cinematic cures for the dilemmas of modern life. Suffering with insomnia and need a cinematic alternative to counting sheep? The Movie Doctors prescribe The Piano. Tinnitus driving you up the wall? A dose of Interstellar can help. Stressed and anxious? The Big Lebowski is what you need. If you're feeling your age, look no further than The Godfather. And what about movies themselves? Doctors Mayo and Kermode are also taking their scalpel to 'sick' movies, dissecting the perils of excessive length, the ill effects of glowing praise and warning how cosmetic surgery can change the face of a film. Celluloid or humanoid, the Movie Doctors are here to help.

    Its Philosophy 101 for everyone who knows not to take all this heavy stuff too seriously. Some of the Big Ideas are Existentialism (what do Hegel and Bette Midler have in common?), Philosophy of Language (how to express what its like being stranded on a desert island with Halle Berry), Feminist Philosophy (why, in the end, a man is always a man), and much more. Finally it all makes sense!

    The Etiquette Grrls have decided that things are simply getting out of hand, and they have Taken It Upon Themselves to step in with a helpful guide to navigate the Etiquette Quandaries in your day-to-day life. They dish up advice on cohabitation, letter-writing, telephoning, traveling, grooming, drinking, dining, dating, and marriage and, it would be Terribly Rude of you not to pay attention.Who are they, you ask, to be writing such a book? The Etiquette Grrls are graduates of New England Preparatory Schools and Prestigious Colleges; they are throwers of Great Parties; they can hold their liquor; their expertise on fashion and make-up and—especially Subversive Nail Polish colors-knows no bounds; they wear Doc Martens with their cashmere twin sets; and, most important, they know what they're talking about.The Etiquette Grrls' advice has been featured in Ladies Home Journal, Chicago Sun-Times, and Business Week Online.

    This indispensable companion to the series is packed with colour photographs, interviews and lavish illustrations.Follow a typical day's filming, including the wholesale transformation of Lacock village into Jane Austen's Meryton. Discover how Colin Firth approaches the part of Darcy, how actors' costumes and wigs are designed and how Carl Davis recreates the period music and composes an original score. Piece together the roles of behind-the-scenes contributors from researchers to fencing masters.

    Acclaimed illustrator Keri Smith encourages journalers to engage in "destructive" acts-poking holes through pages, adding photos and defacing them, painting with coffee, and more-in order to experience the true creative process. Readers discover a new way of art and journal making-and new ways to escape the fear of the blank page and fully engage in the creative process.

    Find out why every single French MP received camembert in the post. And get to the bottom of all the improvements made to the Ford company’s robotic bum. All this and much, much more, including the news that:· Two tourists planning to visit the Norwegian village of Å, ended up 1,310km away, in Aa.· Five guys were arrested at a branch of Five Guys.· Hollyoaks was partly written by the British government.· The US town of Hell froze over.From Assange to Zuckerberg, taking in Cardi B, CCTV, D-Day, and eSports, The Book of the Year is the only book you need to make senseof the year, no matter how senseless it might have seemed.