Archie #558
Archie Comics - 1943
Then in "Barbecue Blunder," sometimes it's fun to reminisce about picnics gone by!
The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book
Tim Vine - 2010
Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
Cold Paradise / The Short Forever
Stuart Woods - 2005
But before he can dig into this latest case, he comes face to face again with Arrington Calder, the one woman who still holds a key to his affections. Stone and his partner, Dino, comb the glittering streets of Palm Beach and begin to suspect that more than one person might be after Allison: one so clever he manages never to show his face, but even more frightening, another man everybody has long forgotten. The Short Forever: Stone's new client, John Bartholomew, asks Stone to fly to London in search of a young woman whom he suspects has taken up with a mysterious character. Bartholomew asks Stone to see what he can find to discredit the man, Cabot. What Stone finds is more bizarre than he had expected. The woman in question isn't related to Bartholomew in quite the way he had implied. And it appears that Bartholomew and Cabot, who once worked together on a secretive assignment, now have very different versions of what went wrong. When Stone himself is implicated in a shocking double murder, he and his partner, Dino, know they have stepped into a strange case unlike any other.
Brenda Monk is Funny
Katy Brand - 2014
She is addicted to the feeling of being on stage, looking out at expectant, up-turned mouths, waiting for the first laugh to hit. A first laugh that will not happen unless she creates it. But Brenda is clueless. The on-off girlfriend of a prolific comedian, it is only after she realises his best stage material consists of recycled versions of her own restless, smart-arsed energy that she begins to wonder whether she might be better off keeping her jokes for herself - and so she finds herself making her very first walk to the mark on stage in front of a bare brick wall, with just a spotlight and a PA system for cover, wondering what we all wonder from time to time: am I funny? A book as much about the thrill of performance as it is about what goes on when the microphone is switched off, Brenda Monk is Funny is a blackly humourous and devastatingly candid snapshot of the reality, the brutality and fragility of the comedy industry from an exciting new voice in fiction.
. . . and Baby Makes Two: A Novel
Judy Sheehan - 2005
But that’s before she sees the perfect child. There he sits in his stroller, angelic and beautiful, magnetic and serene– and he makes Jane question everything she has and everything she thought she wanted. Suddenly all she can see are babies and pregnant woman everywhere. Were there always so many of them? And while there was once a man in her life–her one true love, Sam, gone from this world too soon–there is no man now. Jane must make a choice: possibly become a bitter and childless old lady, letting her biological clock tick on ’till menopause, or tend the ache in her heart now, by becoming a single mother. As Jane struggles to make the most important decision of her life, friends and family offer no shortage of opinions. There’s Ray, her “hubstitute” and gay best friend who would be jealous of any kid who got Jane as a mom; Sheila, her sister, who went from zero to sixty when she eloped with Raoul–who had two young twin sons– and has mixed feelings about being a new mommy; her strict, Catholic father who can’ t imagine what level of hell Jane would banish herself to if she becomes a single mother; and the women of Families with Children from China who are preparing to adopt orphan daughters–without a man in sight. Just as she thinks she’s made up her mind, Jane discovers one small wrench in her plans: handsome, charming, funny Peter, who just happens to be (unhappily) married. . . . And Baby Makes Two is a heartbreakingly honest, wonderfully addictive, and funny novel about love and loss, family and friendship. Judy Sheehan, co-creator of the smash hit Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding, has perfectly captured the delights and dilemmas of the scariest job in the world: motherhood.From the Hardcover edition.
The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part 2
Caimh McDonnell - 2021
The series has been a critically acclaimed Amazon bestseller worldwide and it is optioned for TV.The two-part box set features the books with the ancillary novellas and short stories presented in the order the author Caimh McDonnell thinks they should be read in, with new introductions written especially for this edition.Please note: this is the second part!The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part 2 contains:Angels in The Moonlight (The Dublin Trilogy Book 3): For Detective Bunny McGarry, life is complicated, and it is about to get more so. He’s set the task of bringing down the most skilled and ruthless armed robbery gang in Irish history. So, the last thing he needs in his life is yet another complication. Her name is Simone. She is smart, funny, talented and, well, complicated.Sisters Gonna Work it Out (Novella): Annoying a drug baron is usually a very bad idea but it is just another day at work for The Sisters of the Saint. An ex-communicated order of kick-ass nuns, they take no prisoners, but they might just free a few.How to Send a Message (Short Story): Bunny McGarry is the kind of man who is inclined to take it personally when someone tries to threaten his life. Two gangland thugs find out to their cost that if you’re going up against the meanest copper in Dublin, you’d better be prepared for a truly unforgettable experience.Last Orders (The Dublin Trilogy Book 4): As a wise man once said, just because you're done with the past, doesn't mean the past is done with you. When long-buried bodies are discovered in the Wicklow Mountains, Bunny's past starts closing in on him. Who can he trust when he can't even trust himself? When he’s got nowhere left to run and nobody he can turn to, will the big fella make the ultimate sacrifice to protect the ones he loves?Please note: All the novels and short stories have been previously available to readers separately.
The Mask Returns
John Arcudi - 1994
Once you put on The Mask, you're a homicidal lunatic with a bad taste for bad jokes and seriously deranged violence. And nothing -- but nothing -- can kill you!When her boyfriend Stanley died, Kathy thought the weird mask had been lost forever. Now gangsters are dying like flies, victims of everything from comic-book bombs to crossbow shafts, and she knows that somehow it's back. Only Kathy can stop the rampage, but first she has to get around the gangwar erupting around her, the new Mask -- whoever he is -- and the worst bad-guy of all, Walter!
Arc Of A Shooting Star
Simon Northouse - 2018
It's a far cry from the heady days when he led his band, The Shooting Tsars, to the top of the charts and sell-out tours and festivals around the world.An unwelcome phone call from his deceitful ex-manager, Chas Dupont, sets in motion a chain of events that seems unstoppable.Can Will get his fractured band back together and rediscover his mojo? Are Chas Dupont's motives purely altruistic? Who are the musical mafia? And are the legendary rumours about the lost "Bloom Tape" true?
A Billion Jokes: Volume 1
Peter Serafinowicz - 2012
Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown
Coroner To Coroner
B.K. Baxter - 2018
A murder will make sure of that. The town Sheriff is fat, happy, and useless. Just like his daddy before him and his dad before that. Ethel and Velma Harmon should know. They’ve been around for all three. These two seventy-something sisters-in-law refuse to let their ages slow them down. Especially when there’s a mystery to get tangled up in. The only thing that takes their time away from the whole ball of yarn is, well, a ball of yarn. Crochet class can’t be missed. No matter what. But keeping things on track isn’t easy. Not with old high school boyfriends that still think they’re eighteen and overly friendly mailmen offering up winks. Throw in a dead candidate for mayor, a gender-confused cat, and a splinter-giving park bench, and you’re in for one heck of a time. Come fall in love with these two funny old ladies as they solve the small-town crime of who killed the new guy running for mayor, and make blankets, shawls, and the occasional pair of panties—one stitch at a time.
Mad About the Fifties
MAD Magazine - 1997
Travel back to the wacky Fifties in this comic compilation of the best of MAD's early years! From the Cold War and Richard Nixon (the first time around) to Howdy Doody and Mickey Mouse, this one's got it all...and then some!
Red Meat Gold
Max Cannon - 2005
Cannon's internationally popular strip features a disturbing and sidesplitting cast of characters that includes latex-clad fathers, sadistic milkmen, vomiting robots, malformed neighbors, incontinent interdimensional beings, decomposing clowns, and dozens of other bizarre Red Meat denziens who will keep you laughing until it hurts. Pure Gold!
Don't Forget to Call Your Mama...I Wish I Could Call Mine
Lewis Grizzard - 1991
In this book, Grizzard turns his attention to his mother, and to all mothers, casting a loving, comic eye toward the most important and defining relationship of all.
The Maple House: The True Story of a Haunting
Jeanie Dyer - 2014
But when the life of their young son is taken, Jeanie starts to wonder if her family is being targeted by something supernatural. In this novella based on a true story, Jeanie narrates her family's time at the Maple House and the experiences in what she thought would be her dream home that still plague her family today.