Book picks similar to
The Day Jesus Rode Into Croydon by Kirk St Moritz
fiction
ebook
mystery
need
Results Not Typical
Catherine Ryan Howard - 2011
Their slogans “Where You’re Fat and We Know It!” and “Where the Fat IS Your Fault!” are recognised around the globe, the counter in the lobby says five million slimmed and their share price is as high as their energy levels. But today the theft of their latest revolutionary product, Lipid Loser, will threaten to expose the real secret behind Slimmit’s success…As Director of Security, hunky Aaron Green is held responsible and threatened with his job. Spying an opportunity to get back into Aaron’s pants, Marianne Brand, head of Slimming Operations, offers to help him track down the intruder – but what she’s really hoping to find is her missing Much, Much More Muffin, a secret prototype she believes the intruder ate. Meanwhile Slimmit CEO Nicola Darcy struggles to stay conscious in the three layers of constricting underwear she needs to hide her new muffin top, while her daughter Emmy – deemed “unacceptably beyond corporate Appearance Policy parameters” – pushes paper in Slimmit’s basement and dreams of a skinny life, one she hopes her secret membership of Fat Club, Slimmit’s main competitor, will eventually bring her.The race is on to retrieve the Lipid Loser and save Slimmit from total disaster. If their secrets get out, their competitors will put them out of business. If the government finds out, they’ll all go to jail. And if their clients find out… Well, as Slimmit’s Slimming Specialists know all too well, there’s only one thing worse than a hungry, sugar-crazed, carb addict – an angry one.Will the secret behind Slimmit’s success survive the day, or will their long-suffering slimmers finally discover the truth?
Rated R
Mike Leon - 2014
He’s a mega badass who kills anybody who stands between him and what he wants. And what he wants is to get laid and eat submarine sandwiches. Great aspirations aren’t really his thing.It’s also about the total skankbox on the cover. But let’s not talk about her, or the third of the novel spent setting up the plot. That stuff is boring. Let’s talk about explosions, cheesy one-liners, car chases, knife fights, villains with exotic weapons, cars that blow up for absolutely no reason, and firing two guns whilst jumping through the air. That’s the cool stuff, and Rated R has it in spades.Once the exposition is over, and the body count starts climbing, this story goes from a hard R to a really ridiculously rock hard R that will blow your nuts off.
Medium Dead
Chris Dolley - 2011
Finally, a new author as witty and sassy as Janet Evanovich." -- Lark SusakMedium Dead is a fun urban fantasy chronicling the crime fighting adventures of Brenda - a reluctant medium - and Brian - a Vigilante Demon with an impish sense of humour. Think Stephanie Plum with magic and a dash of Carl Hiaasen. Brenda Steele is smart, funny and out of her depth. A Vigilante Demon called Brian wants her to find murdered spirits and help him track down their killers. But Brian doesn't just catch criminals, he likes to play with them first, and make the punishment fit the crime. As he tells Brenda, "if all you did was turn up, capture the bad guy then leave - century after century - you'd die of boredom."He's also reckless - his last partner died during one of his takedowns.Along the way, Brenda discovers that Brian isn't as old, or as powerful, as he led her to believe. He might even be human. Whereas the murderer they're hunting, and the child he's holding prisoner, might not. REVIEWS"I was hooked by the end of page one and laughing out loud by the middle of page two. Finally, a new author as witty and sassy as Janet Evanovich." -- Lark Susak"Yes, yes, yes you will want to read Medium Dead by Chris Dolley. Yes, if you enjoy your mysteries with stumbling heroines and heroes trying to exercise detective skills they may not actually have. Yes, if you don't mind laughing out loud as you read. And yes, if you enjoy your terror without horror," -- Kathleen Kempa"This was a very entertaining story. I enjoyed the characters and humor. Nothing better than a good belly laugh. Can't wait for the next installment," -- Stephanie Robert
Aberystwyth Mon Amour
Malcolm Pryce - 2001
Louie Knight, the town's private investigator, soon realizes that it is going to take more than a double ripple from Sospan, the philosopher cum ice-cream seller, to help find out what is happening to these boys and whether or not Lovespoon, the Welsh teacher, Grand Wizard of the Druids and controller of the town, is more than just a sinister bully. And just who was Gwenno Guevara?
The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part 2
Caimh McDonnell - 2021
The series has been a critically acclaimed worldwide Amazon bestseller and it is optioned for TV.The two-part box set features the books with the ancillary novellas and short stories presented in the order the author Caimh McDonnell thinks they should be read in, with new introductions written especially for this edition. Please note - This is the second part!The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part 2 contains:Angels in The Moonlight (The Dublin Trilogy Book 3)For Detective Bunny McGarry, life is complicated, and it is about to get more so. He’s set the task of bringing down the most skilled and ruthless armed robbery gang in Irish history. So the last thing he needs in his life is yet another complication. Her name is Simone. She is smart, funny, talented and, well, complicated.Sisters Gonna Work It Out (Novella)Annoying a drug baron is usually a very bad idea but it is just another day at work for the sisters of the saint. An ex-communicated order of kickass nuns, they take no prisoners but they might just free a few.How To Send A Message (Short Story)Bunny McGarry is the kind of man who is inclined to take it personally when someone tries to threaten his life. Two gangland thugs find out to their cost that if you’re going up the meanest copper in Dublin, you’d better be prepared for a truly unforgettable experience.Last Orders (The Dublin Trilogy Book 4)As a wise man once said, just because you're done with the past, doesn't mean the past is done with you. When long-buried bodies are discovered in the Wicklow Mountains, Bunny's past starts closing in on him. Who can he trust when he can't even trust himself? When he’s got nowhere left to run and nobody he can turn to, will the big fella make the ultimate sacrifice to protect the ones he loves?Please note: All of the novels and short stories have been previously available to readers separately.
How Hard Can It Be?
Robyn Peterman - 2013
I was sure as hell trying, even if my campaign to score a job as the local weather girl had ended in a restraining order. Okay, TV was not my strength. But a lack of talent has never stopped me before. Which is why I’ve embarked on a writing career. I mean, how hard can it be to come up with a sexy romance?Leave it to me to wind up in a group of grandmotherly porno writers who discuss sex toys and apple cobbler in the same breath. Also leave it to me to leak an outlandish plot idea to a bestselling author with the morals of a rabid squirrel. And only I could get arrested for a jewelry heist I didn’t commit—by a hunky cop whose handcuffs just might tempt me to sign up for a life of crime. Maybe I’ve found my calling after all…
The Secret Circle of Imaginary Friends
Mike Jeavons - 2013
Secrets are being kept closely guarded. Destruction to homes and threatening messages are becoming common.For Simon and his friends, being visited by strange creatures calling themselves the imaginary friends is not quite as childish as they thought it might be. The creatures like to keep their lives a mystery, but want to know an awful lot about the people of Hedgely.The Secret Circle of Imaginary Friends is an exciting journey into the unknown, where you never know just who may be watching you.
Whose Reality Is This Anyway?
David Luddington - 2016
Retired stage magician turned professional mystic debunker, John Barker, finds his sceptical beliefs under fire when he encounters a strange man who claims to be Merlin. After several unsuccessful attempts to rid himself of his increasingly unpredictable companion, John finally relents and agrees to assist in the man’s crazy mission, to find the true grave of the mythical King Arthur. Following a hidden code contained within the text of a soft porn novel, they gather a growing entourage of hippies, mystic seekers and alien hunters as they leave a trail of chaos across the south west of England. When the group comes to the attention of a TV Reality Show producer looking to make a fast profit out of harmless eccentrics and fading celebrities, John decides it’s time to take charge and prove one way or the other, the identity of this mysterious person who claims to be a fictional wizard. “Whose reality is this anyway?” is a warm-hearted tale of what it means to be an individual and to follow one’s dreams. With his trademark cast of oddball characters and absurd situations, David Luddington once more transports us into a world where who you are is more important than what you are. “David Luddington epitomizes the elusive quality of writing that he perpetuates - the British Comedy.” – Grady Harp
2030: The Real Story of What Happens to America
Albert Brooks - 2011
Is this what’s in store?June 12, 2030 started out like any other day in memory—and by then, memories were long. Since cancer had been cured fifteen years before, America’s population was aging rapidly. That sounds like good news, but consider this: millions of baby boomers, with a big natural predator picked off, were sucking dry benefits and resources that were never meant to hold them into their eighties and beyond. Young people around the country simmered with resentment toward “the olds” and anger at the treadmill they could never get off of just to maintain their parents’ entitlement programs.But on that June 12th, everything changed: a massive earthquake devastated Los Angeles, and the government, always teetering on the edge of bankruptcy, was unable to respond. The fallout from the earthquake sets in motion a sweeping novel of ideas that pits national hope for the future against assurances from the past and is peopled by a memorable cast of refugees and billionaires, presidents and revolutionaries, all struggling to find their way. In 2030, the author’s all-too-believable imagining of where today’s challenges could lead us tomorrow makes gripping and thought-provoking reading.
Tropical Knights
John F. Beckman - 2012
He has left behind the Vietnam War, the SEC, the IRS, and a scheming ex-wife. Life is good. And then he meets Amy, the half Cuban beauty who invites him on the adventure of a lifetime. The Latin lovely offers Jack the opportunity to save the eastern U.S. from annihilation by a dying Castro, the dictator of Cuba. Jack wants nothing to do with this woman or her mission. But before he knows it Jack is involved with the Cuban Mafia, the CIA, and duplicitous politicians. When his brother is kidnapped Jack is torn between saving America or saving his only benefactor. Jack has an impossible decision to make. Sail along with Jack and Amy on the life or death voyage which makes Jack’s existence more complicated than he ever dreamed possible.
Early Riser
Jasper Fforde - 2018
Every Winter, the human population hibernates.During those bitterly cold four months, the nation is a snow-draped landscape of desolate loneliness, and devoid of human activity.Well, not quite.Your name is Charlie Worthing and it's your first season with the Winter Consuls, the committed but mildly unhinged group of misfits who are responsible for ensuring the hibernatory safe passage of the sleeping masses.You are investigating an outbreak of viral dreams which you dismiss as nonsense; nothing more than a quirky artefact borne of the sleeping mind.When the dreams start to kill people, it's unsettling.When you get the dreams too, it's weird.When they start to come true, you begin to doubt your sanity.But teasing truth from Winter is never easy: You have to avoid the Villains and their penchant for murder, kidnapping and stamp collecting, ensure you aren't eaten by Nightwalkers whose thirst for human flesh can only be satisfied by comfort food, and sidestep the increasingly less-than-mythical WinterVolk.But so long as you remember to wrap up warmly, you'll be fine.
Inn at Raven's Crest
Salem Marlowe - 2017
When the opportunity arises, the two jump at the chance to make this dream a reality. They find an old Victorian home that has been vacant for many years and believe this is their chance to fix up and open the Inn at Raven’s Crest. Maggie quickly learns of the ghosts still living in the house. She befriends them; talks to them; helps them find peace, and offers a way to get to the other side. As the first guests arrives, so does an awful storm which puts out the roads, the power and the internet, thus leaving all of the guests captive at the Inn. When one person is found murdered, and then another, everyone is frightened and not sure who to trust and who the murderer is. There are many signs that point to one and then another suspect before the final chapter is revealed. Inn at Raven’s Crest by Salem Marlowe has a plot we may have read before, but the characters and the events are brand new and kept me glued to my Kindle. Each time I thought I had solved the mystery, another twist changed my mind. I couldn’t help but root for Maggie and Lee and for the future success of the Inn. Each character was well portrayed and had all the human characteristics of good and evil in them. I would love to see what happens when the next set of guests arrive at the Inn. It would be an awesome TV series with new guests arriving weekly. I highly recommend reading Inn at Raven’s Crest; mystery fans will not be disappointed. Two friends buy an abandoned Victorian house and turn it into a bed and breakfast. Before renovations are completed they discover their home has come complete with ghosts, and an old, unsolved murder. Can they solve the mystery and get the ghosts to leave? Or will they get caught up in a new set of murders, ones that are decimating their guests?
There Goes the Galaxy
Jenn Thorson - 2011
Boy meets stun-gun. Boy learns he’s the only one in the Universe who can save the Earth from extreme world makeover by inter-stellar landlords. Yeah: he thinks it’s a bit much, too. Like everyone else on his planet, Bertram Ludlow hasn’t paid much attention to fluctuations in the intergalactic real estate market. But as a cognitive psychology grad student, he has given some thought to what a complete mental breakdown looks like. And this is pretty close. Now he’s discovering space is a mad and mind-boggling place where interspecies communication rests on the power of a gumball. Where androids demand better work/life balance. Where crime is Art, technology still has its bugs, and lasers don’t go “pyew-pyew.” It’s also surprisingly easy to get on the Universe’s Most Wanted list. So with the weight of the world on his shoulders and the cosmic law on his tail, can Bertram outrun, outwit, and out-bid to save the Earthling squatters from one spaced-out redevelopment plan?
Who Censored Roger Rabbit?
Gary K. Wolf - 1981
He’s the toughest private eye in Los Angeles, and he’ll handle anything – if you’re human. If you’re a Toon, that’s another story.Eddie doesn’t like Toons – those cartoon characters who live side-by-side with humans. Not the way they look, and especially not the way they talk: word-filled balloons come out of their mouths and then disintegrate, leaving dust all over his rug.Eddie will work for a Toon if his cash supply is low enough. So he reluctantly agrees when Roger Rabbit, a Toon who plays straight man (or should that be straight rabbit) in the Baby Herman cartoon series, asks him to find out who’s been trying – unsuccessfully – to buy his contract from the DeGreasy Brothers syndicate.Then Rocco DeGreasy is murdered – and Roger is the prime suspect! The rabbit is also, as Eddie soon discovers, very, very dead.Who censored Roger Rabbit? And who shot Rocco DeGreasy? Was it Roger, or was it Rocco’s hot-cha-cha girlfriend, Jessica Rabbit? Why had Jessica – a pretty steamy number for a Toon – ever married a dopey bunny in the first place? And why does everybody want Roger’s battered old teakettle?As Eddie combs L.A. from the executive suites of the DeGreasy Brothers to Sid Sleaze’s porno comic studio, he uncovers art thefts, blackmail plots... and the cagiest killer he’s ever faced.In Who Censored Roger Rabbit?, author Gary K. Wolf has created a wonderfully skewed – and totally believable – world compounded of equal parts Raymond Chandler, Lewis Carroll, and Warner Brothers. This riotously surreal spoof of the hard-boiled detective novel is packed with action and laughs. From first page to last, Who Censored Roger Rabbit? is shear delight.Celebrated author Gary K. Wolf’s cult classic and highly praised novel Who Censored Roger Rabbit? is the basis for the blockbuster Walt Disney/Steven Spielberg Academy Award winning film Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
When Harry Met Chunglie: ...it was murder. A Space Opera Comedy
Jack Q McNeil - 2018
Of her worst day... Monday morning, about ten... A Human female's life will be saved because an ancient alien can't stand dickheads. Harry (the Human female, her dad had a family issue) hoped a new job as detective marshal on the planet Smuds, would bring adventure and weird aliens. It did. Chunglie is weirder than most, and proud of it. When bodies are found on a spaceship, Chunglie comes to realise his new friend is the only one who can solve the mystery and find the killer. But the killer has worked that out too, and it's up to Chunglie to keep Harry alive. You will enjoy this story, because everyone likes to see the dauntless alien sidekick come through for the win… yes?