It's about the processes involved, about taking control, using control, about ensuring that you have control, and-importantly-about giving control back once you are done with it. The book discusses how this works-the psychology of it-and looks at what can go right, and at what can go wrong and how to fix it. It considers the role of authority in the equation, and looks at how to manage the control you have over someone so that it is both effective and rewarding for you both. I believe that a very large part of the activities which we include under the umbrella of BDSM rely explicitly or implicitly on control being asserted over one person by another. My goal in this book is to talk about control, explain what it is, demonstrate it, show how to take it, how to give it, how to manage it, and more. I want you, the reader, to be aware of the ebb and flow of control around you and through you.

    Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men, Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships -- from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management. Opening Up will change the way you think about intimacy.

    Many of us know that hypnosis doesn't really have the kind of mind-melting power we see in movies. Still, we can't help but get turned on at the thought of either controlling someone, or being controlled by someone, into doing things we've been told we shouldn't do ... but really, inside, kind of want to.In this book, Mark Wiseman (Wiseguy) will teach you how to put your partner into a hypnotic trance safely and effectively. Then the fun begins as you learn how to:Create or intensify arousal and desire Turn their entire body into an erogenous zone eager for your touch Get kinky with hypnotic bondage, flogging, or tickling Give them intense pleasure using his Five-Point Palm Exploding Orgasm technique and more! Whether you are new to hypnosis or have already learned the basics, Mind Play will give you the tools you need to become a skilled, responsible erotic hypnotist.

    From the fraught relationship with her biological father to "leather daddies" of the adult and BDSM communities, Daddy explores Young's interwoven relationships with each of them and the sex positive values that she teaches and lectures on across the country at Yale University, Berkeley University, Good Vibrations, Smitten Kitten, Tool Shed, Kinky Kollege, and Austin Rope Symposium.

    It is a finely crafted and designed system of expectations and joys. In order for you and your submissive lady to “fit” one another and create a lasting, happy union there must be a period of training.It does not matter if your sub has thirty years of experience in submission or just read 50 Shades of Grey and decided to try it herself. She will need to be trained for the best relationship to emerge."Dom's Guide to Submissive Training" was specifically written for doms/masters. It is designed to provide you with a step-by-step blueprint on how to train your new sub. It goes from preparation all the way down to the closing ceremony including advanced techniques & tips. Training can be one of the most exciting, challenging and fun parts of the relationship. A well-trained sub will not only serve you in the capacity you deserve, but will have built up the two most important elements in any BDSM relationship – trust and consistency. Following the instructions in this guide will allow you to show yourself as a worthy master, who is in control, experienced and able to guide you both to the best possible life.

    We made it light-hearted and fun to read because SM is fun to do. That's why we do it. But fun is only SM's overture; for those who grasp its message, SM is sexual magic. The right blend of trust, fantasy, and sensuality creates an intensely erotic and deeply intimate stew. We take away our lovers' freedom and lead them to profound liberty. We peer into the dark together, transforming it to light. In these pages you will find clear explanations for the curious, and solid advice, safety measures and steamy suggestions for the adventurous. Allow us to guide you through the captivating realms of sensuality, dreamed of by millions, realized by few, and understood by fewer still.

    Whether you want to explore your own submissive fantasies, or you're just curious about what BDSM is really like, this book will answer all your questions, plus some you didn't know you had. Erotic author Kate Kinsey ("Red," and "The Totally Uncensored Kinky Adventures of Chloe St. Claire, Sex Slave") brings over a decade of experience as a submissive and kinky educator to this practical step-by-step guide to being a healthy and happy submissive. Topics covered include: the differences between dominants and masters, submissives and slaves, and tops and bottoms; the different dominant styles; the truth about "training" to be a submissive; how to find like-minded folks in your area; how to negotiate scenes and relationships; what to expect at your first dungeon party; why some people actually enjoy pain; and the warning signs to look out for when talking to potential partners. "Kinsey has written a no-nonsense guide that thoroughly explains the various kinks and fetishes that come under the umbrella of BDSM. Most importantly, she emphasizes the importance of protecting yourself along the way with knowledge, friends and self-awareness." "This is not fiction, but reality. Kate Kinsey has the experience to tell it like it is, not the way some vanilla writer imagines it to be."

    Where women not only stop apologizing, but seize—and enjoy—control. This is the quickly mainstreaming world of BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism)—and it has a lot to teach women about empowerment, negotiation, open-mindedness, and more. Journalist Lindsay Goldwert, intrigued by this seismic cultural shift, traveled across the United States to meet the stars of the subculture, who spoke frankly with her about their lives and work. In this “lively, funny, thoughtful channeling of wisdom” (Sara Benincasa, author of Real Artists Have Day Jobs), these Alpha women show you how you can reset the power dynamic in any situation to get what you want—whether it’s from a husband, a boss, or partner. They share strategies for revolutionizing not only your sex life, but your career, your relationships, and most importantly, your inner foundations. With bondage gear popping up on the big screen, the runway, the red carpet, and in celebrity lingerie lines, BDSM is officially moving out of the dungeon and into the sun. Let Bow Down help you learn how to use it. “Whether your fantasies lie in the bedroom or the boardroom, Lindsay will give you the courage to go forth and dominate.” (Sarah Cooper, author of How to Be Successful without Hurting Men’s Feelings).

    Jen has been coaching her readers on all sex-related matters through her articles in Penthouse and posts on Nerve, an online magazine. A self-proclaimed authority on the subject of sex (and specifically BDSM), Jen spent her early twenties working as a professional submissive at a swanky Manhattan dungeon before becoming a sex surrogate for a renowned therapist.In BDSM 101, Jen shares rare insight into this oftentimes misunderstood world. Practical instructions are given on:Safety and communicationBondage, spanking, floggingFetishes, humiliation, dirty talkAnd more!Included are steamy, sometimes ridiculous anecdotes from Jen’s past, interviews with her wacky artist friends, and basic illustrations. According to the author, “This book is what would happen if Marquis de Sade, Andy Warhol, and Dorothy Parker got together and made a nymphomaniac Bride of Frankenstein.”Useful, entertaining, and written with rare candor, BDSM 101 is a book that can offer spark to the fires of love in any relationship.

    Joe Kort explores as he guides readers through the complex journey of becoming a gay man. Dr. Kort points out that the beginning of this journey is about taking responsibility for your own life, and reading this book shows you exactly how to do this. Readers will learn how to identify their own internalized homophobia that is preventing many of gay men from leading satisfying lives and keeping them from having healthy relationships.Gay men often say that after coming out they feel better at first, but for many it doesn't last. 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives provides a thorough map for navigating through the difficult terrain of becoming the gay man you want to be in the context of your family, of your sexual health, and ultimately of a partnered relationship.* Discover how to find your authentic gay self* Learn the five biggest mistakes gay men make when seeking a relationship* Understand how to understand loved ones who disapprove of you being gay* Overcome damaging patterns that are holding you back from a healthy sex life

    While the topics are exotic and erotic, the authors handle each one in a sensitive, thorough, analytical, and fascinating way and manage to explain a secret world to those who might wish to visit.

    Margot Weiss’s research entailed attending dungeon play parties, workshops on SM techniques, and business meetings of the Society of Janus, one of America’s oldest BDSM organizations. She interviewed more than sixty SM practitioners, including dungeon owners, well-known prodommes (professional dominants), and community experts. Weiss vividly evokes the feel of the BDSM scene in San Francisco area in the early 2000s.At the same time, she challenges notions of SM as inherently transgressive, revealing a technique-oriented community, largely organized around classes, rules, and the acquisition of expensive sex toys. Most members of the Bay Area’s BDSM community were white, heterosexual, middle-aged, well-off, and involved in long-term relationships.Weiss analyzed SM “scenes”—sexual encounters involving roles, costumes, and props—including dramatizations of slave markets and the creation of the Abu Ghraib photographs. She contends that such performances eroticize social inequality, reproducing hierarchies based on race, ethnicity, gender, and sexuality, rather than offering a safe space, separate from real-world inequities.

    While there are plenty of other books out there that explain how to give a spanking or tie a half-hitch, Playing Well With Others is the first book that explains kink *culture* -- the munches, parties, leather bars, conferences, workshops, fetish nights, exploratoriums and all the other gatherings of kinksters that turn BDSM and leather from a bedroom predilection to a lifestyle and a community.You'll learn to:* Examine your own motivations, needs, wants and desires* Ease your way into established communities* Understand etiquette in different adventurous sex communities* Familiarize yourself with the many types of events available to you* Care for your relationships as you explore new territory* Negotiate for play and aftercare* Go back to the "world at large" without ruffling feathers* ...and, of course, answer the all-important question: What do you wear?!The team of Harrington and Williams offers 30-plus years of experience in diverse kink communities: top, bottom and switch; gay, bi and straight; female, male and trans; white and POC. Both former titleholders and international educators, they are an unbeatable pair of "sexual sherpas" with an inimitable voice and a great deal of wisdom.Playing Well With Others is an unprecedented and essential guidebook for anyone who wants to explore or understand the "community" aspect of the kink lifestyle.

    What do Americans really want when it comes to sex? And is it possible for us to get what we want? Justin J. Lehmiller, one of the country's leading experts on human sexuality and author of the popular blog Sex and Psychology, has made it his career's ambition to answer these questions. He recently concluded the largest and most comprehensive scientific survey of Americans' sexual fantasies ever undertaken, a monumental two-year study involving more than 4,000 Americans from all walks of life, answering questions of unusual scope. Based on this study, Tell Me What You Want offers an unprecedented look into our fantasy worlds and what they reveal about us. It helps readers to better understand their own sexual desires and how to attain them within their relationships, but also to appreciate why the desires of their partners may be so incredibly different. If we only better understood the incredible diversity of human sexual desire and why this diversity exists in the first place, we would experience less distress, anxiety, and shame about our own sexual fantasies and better understand why our partners often have sexual proclivities that are so different from our own. Ultimately, this book will help readers to enhance their sex lives and to maintain more satisfying relationships and marriages in the future by breaking down barriers to discussing sexual fantasies and allowing them to become a part of readers' sexual realities.

    Now, for the first time, an experienced fister and fistee explains in detail how to fist with the greatest possible safety and pleasure. Extensively illustrated, this long-awaited guide by Deborah Addington has been approved by three fisting-positive physicians and by many experienced practitioners. Also includes an eye-opening section of anecdotes and poetry by fisting-lovers, plus an extensive resource guide. A must-have "handbook" for the sexually explorative!