Always ready with an impeccable phrase or a sly wink, he shares tales of the most darkly ironic sort, including a field report from a human abattoir, a chronicle of dating Death, and, of course, the tale of the goat that ate its own legs. The thirty-one bizarre, insightful, and morbidly hilarious tales in My Goat Ate Its Own Legs: Tales for Adults will delight anyone who doesn't take life (or death) too seriously.

    And when he looked at me with those damn blue eyes, I forgot about everything." Weston She made me fall in love with her the moment she waltzed into my office. Too bad I have to fire her. Too bad she hates me, because I can't stay away from her. I have to make her mine and I always get what I want. Sara He treated me like an arrogant boss and accused me of unspeakable things from the moment I entered his office. But when he kissed me and asked for a date, I couldn't say no. I can't fall in love with Weston, can I? Possessive Billionaire Boss is a short, sweet, and steamy romance featuring an alpha possessive man and the curvy woman he loves. No Cliffhangers. Billionaire man, younger BBW * Curvy woman * Curves * Boss * Wedding date * Evil Step-Sister * Workplace * Office * Alpha Male Billionaire * Contemporary short romance

    She recycles, obeys the water restrictions, she is even polite to telemarketers. as a mother, wife, daughter and nurse, Helen is used to putting everyone's needs before her own. But it only takes one momentary lapse of concentration to shatter her life forever.There was no momentary lapse for Gemma. Her customary recklessness leaves her pregnant, alone and estranged from her family with her one-promising advertising career in tatters.So when Gemma barges unceremoniously into Helen's life, things will never be the same again for either of them. Two very different women who have one thing in common - their lives have fallen short of their expectations. But is fate offering them a second chance?

    Once he gets there, what he finds is worse than his most hellish imaginings: a young woman, beaten and burned almost beyond recognition, a trauma case as terrible as any he has ever seen. What Jackson's colleagues don't know is that the victim, Allie, is actually his lover. With Allie in a coma, Jackson keeps their relationship quiet and takes part in her reconstruction, a complicated and grueling set of procedures that only the most skilled specialists can perform. But as he and the other doctors struggle to put her back together, the fractures in Jackson's own life begin to break apart dramatically. When the San Francisco Police Department's investigation of the attack leads to his door, Jackson knows the truth can no longer be suppressed."Ghost Image" is an expertly plotted, chillingly vivid, and wholly absorbing mystery, signaling the debut of an unforgettable new voice in the genre. Taking readers inside the operating room and literally under the skin of its patients, it's a story that will appeal to those fascinated by medicine and forensics. It is also a story -- like all classic crime novels -- about guilt and innocence, good and evil. But, above all, it is a story of love -- the kind of love that might prove deadly, or that might just save your soul.

    Lady Kara Kensington's family paid a high price in money and blood to found the gallery that now lies in ruins. Her search for answers leads Kara and her friend Safia al-Maaz, the gallery's curator, into a world they never dreamed existed. Evidence exposed by the tragedy suggests that Ubar, a lost city buried beneath the Arabian desert, is more than mere legend...and that something astonishing is waiting there. The two extraordinary women and their guide, Omaha Dunn, are not the only ones being drawn to the desert. Former U.S. Navy SEAL Painter Crowe, a covert government operative and head of an elite counter-espionage team, is hunting down a dangerous turncoat and the trail is pointing him toward Ubar. What is hidden below the sand is more than a valuable relic of ancient history. It is an ageless power that lives and breathes. Many lives have already been destroyed by ruthless agencies dedicated to guarding its mysteries and harnessing its might. The end may be at hand for Kara, Safia, Crowe, and all of the interlopers who wish to expose its mysteries, as it prepares to unleash the most terrible storm of all...

    He's intent on convincing her to pursue a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity - in America. What's more, it looks like Caroline's career isn't the only thing Morgan is interested in.Newlyweds Chris and Deborah Templeton seem to be the perfect union. The old, unpredictable Chris has been replaced by a kinder and gentler man, yet he's still plagued by doubt. Where does Deborah disappear to for days on end? Why won't she tell her husband? After the tragic death of his young grandson, Ron Bissett is further devastated when he loses his wife. Sheila Bissett has taken her own life, and no one can fathom why. But when an unexpected letter is received, it soon becomes clear that Sheila was hiding far darker secrets than anyone ever knew.

    It features new revelations about high-profile, unsolved hits and the intricate relationships between known criminals and police officers at all levels. It delves into the current power struggle between opposing factions in Cape Town's security industry and the suspected involvement of state operatives in the bloody standoff.Wiener has gained exclusive access to and on-the-record interviews with key underworld characters and police generals accused of colluding with criminals. These have helped her track the parallel narrative of the capture of law-enforcement agencies and unravel how players with inexplicable political backing have been able to pillage secret slush funds and abuse organs of state for their own benefit.Against this backdrop, prominent underworld figures - Radovan Krejcir key among them - have been able to thrive, setting up elaborate networks with the assistance of police. While crime is flourishing, the top echelons of the police and prosecution have been at war with themselves.The proximity of politics, law enforcement and organised crime over the past decade is frighteningly intertwined. The story of the rise and reign of the Ministry of Crime winds its way from the depths of the underworld, via multiple mysterious unsolved murders, to senior politicians and the very top ranks of the country's police force.

    Together they grow up, meet girls, and go off to college. And that's where everything changes.While out on a date, Mike, along with thousands of others, are quite literally abducted by aliens. Known as the Progerians, their mission is to determine how best to conquer the human race. War is coming and nobody knows the enemy better than Michael Talbot.Knowledge alone won’t be enough to fight the Progerians though. Mike’s going to need an army. Individually, Paul Ginson and Michael Talbot are forces to be reckoned with. Reunited they are a match made in Progerian Hell.

    Meet Bridget and Joan: Thelma and Louise on mobility scooters, reluctant residents of the Second Best Magnolia Retirement Home, and lifelong friends joined at the artificial hip.It’s been a wild year for the two rebellious wrinkletons: sherry and shoplifting, Sanatogen and sexting, and a mysterious toy boy who threatens their lifelong friendship and possibly even more…

    Poems, sketches, cartoons, short prose pieces and doctored photos.

    His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.  Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.  After being unceremoniously dumped by the girl he was certain was “the one,” Charlie realized his neighbors’ conversations were not only amusing, but also offered him access to a completely uncensored woman’s perspective on the world. From the importance of effectively Facebook-stalking potential girlfriends and effortlessly pulling off pastel, to learning when in the early stages of dating is too presumptuous to bring a condom and how to turn food poisoning into a dieting advantage, the girls get Charlie into trouble, but they also get him out of it—without ever having a clue of their impact on him.

    Everything Mark's not, Paris is a man of the world with a thirst for adventure - even his name is better than Mark's.But after a catastrophic argument, Mark finds himself setting off alone on his voyage, instead emailing an unresponsive Paris from the road. A cocktail cruise on the Seine, mindful pastry making in Foix, a graffiti tour in Barcelona: Mark will be forced to engage with life and strangers as he never has before, with poignantly recognisable results.But questions remain: will he ever be able to have an authentic interaction? Will Paris ever reply to his emails? And crucially, will he manage to write SEO friendly copy for every place he visits?After all, it's not the destination that counts: it's the homes and experiences you encounter along the way.

    The McKay family gathers for a week-long holiday at a rambling old house to celebrate the fiftieth wedding anniversary of Robert and Mary. In recent years only funerals and sudden, severe illnesses have been able to draw them together and as they gather in the splendid rooms of Hunting Manor, their differences are soon uncomfortably apparent. For all their history, their traditions, the connective strands of DNA, they are relative strangers. There are truths unspoken, but the question is: how much truth can a family really stand? The family holiday mushrooms, drawing in sundry relatives both estranged and deranged. The machinations of an appalling, uninvited aunt threaten the holiday – and the family – with irreparable damage. This book will make you question your own family situation. What does it really mean to be 'family'?

    Killing the Rising Sun takes readers to the bloody tropical-island battlefields of Peleliu and Iwo Jima and to the embattled Philippines, where General Douglas MacArthur has made a triumphant return and is plotting a full-scale invasion of Japan.

    she was gone!After months of fighting the court system to see five-year-old Adele, Martin Jenkins finally has his daughter back. It’s only for a week’s holiday, but he’ll take that to have her near him once more.Keeping three children under the age of eight amused is no mean feat. Whilst Martin’s girlfriend, Louise, is looking after her daughter and Adele, Martin is playing football with her son close by.Excitement fills the air at the local beauty spot in the beautiful Lake District until a chilling scream rocks Martin’s world.The police, Mountain Rescue and other volunteers are brought in to help with the search but Martin’s life is ripped to shreds that day.The day his daughter is declared missing.