Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

    It features six step-by-step demonstrations by well-known artists, so readers can learn firsthand from the pros.

    More comprehensive than ever before--and now 1,000 pages--this revised edition describes the insider dynamics at hundreds of U.S. and Canadian publishers, with hundreds of names and specialties for book acquisition editors. Nearly 200 of the most powerful literary agents reveal invaluable tips, as if they were having a private conversation with a special friend. With detailed information on what to do (and what not to do) to break the code, break down the walls, and get that first book, second book, or thirtieth book published, bought and read, Jeff Herman's Guide is the go-to source for writers everywhere.

    With a refreshingly new approach to free-motion stitching, First Steps to Free-Motion Quilting encourages you to make something beautiful while improving your free-motion quilting skills. You'll find 24 projects and quilts that are light on assembly so you can spend most of your time stitching. A handy troubleshooting guide ensures success every step of the way.

    

    Pellham **Do you own a guinea pig but don’t know the first thing about how to take proper care of it? Are you considering getting one but want to make sure it’s really the best decision for you? Whatever your situation, this book will teach you everything you need to know to make sure you are making the best possible decisions.Taking care of any pet can be a huge responsibility. That’s why it is so important to do your research and really know what you are getting yourself into before you actually commit to owning any pet. Guinea pigs are no exception to this rule. While they are becoming increasingly more common as household pets, guinea pigs are still somewhat exotic and, as a result, most people don’t really know much about exactly what they need.That’s exactly where this book comes in. If you’ve been browsing the animal shelter or pet websites and can’t resist the adorable furry face of those guinea pigs you’ve seen, read this book before you make an impulse decision you might regret.Learn about:•The 10 different breeds of guinea pig you can own as a pet•The pros & cons of owning a pet guinea pig•The supplies you’ll need to provide a proper home for your new pet (and a rough estimate of how much it will cost)•The basic care you will need to provide for your guinea pig•How to train your guinea pig to do cool & useful tricks•A brief overview of how to breed your pet guinea pig and sell the offspringSo get this book and decide if this adorable little creature is the right addition to your home and then learn how you can be the best guinea pig parent there ever was!>>Purchase or Download This Book Today, Available on Kindle & in Print. <<

    You don't just get that, though. No longer do you have to spend precious minutes clicking through to apps to find out detailed information about them!You'll also get information on star ratings, number of reviews, bestseller position and pricing information. All of this is included inside this regularly updated book, giving you WAY more information than you'll find in just about any other 'top apps' book today.All of the recommendations, star ratings, pricing and other information are broken down by the following categories:Communication/Social Networking Cooking/Food Education Entertainment Finance Games Health Kids Music News/Weather Productivity Sports Travel Utilities Now you never have to guess at what apps are good and what are bad!(Notice: This book was written for the USA Kindle AppStore market and may not apply to other countries.)

    But what should we change and how do we do it? Annabel Streets and Susan Saunders spent their 30s climbing the career ladder, having children and caring for elderly parents - all at the same time. By their 40s, they were exhausted, stressed, sleeping too little and rushing too much. They began to ask whether the prolonged ill health and dementia suffered by their parents was their inevitable future too - could they do anything to avoid requiring their own children to care for them in old age? Thus began THE AGE-WELL PROJECT. With incredible tenacity, Annabel and Susan read 50,000 scientific research papers on all aspects of ageing to find what advice cutting-edge research can offer us on how to ensure the longer lives we're living are healthy and happy. Putting their findings into practice, they found that the lifestyle changes they made were having incredible benefits on their health and wellbeing now - as well as for the future. Told with empathy and humour, in THE AGE-WELL PROJECT Annabel and Susan share the 50 key lessons they learned, the meals they cooked and the experts' tips they uncovered to make the second half of your life the best half of your life - happy, healthy and disease-free. Author BiographyAnnabel was a founder member of an award-winning marketing company, advising the chief executives of companies such as Sony, Reuters and the Financial Times. After four children, and at breaking point, she sold her company. Following a stint studying photography and producing a community cook book, she changed tack and wrote an award-winning novel The Joyce Girl which sold in 14 countries and was selected for the 2017 Berlin Film Festival. Since then she has written regularly for a range of titles including the Daily Telegraph, Psychologies, The Author, the Guardian, The Irish Times, Elle, Australian

    By the time you finish this book, you'll have all the skills you need to achieve a striking likeness in a drawn portrait. Artist and life drawing expert Jake Spicer takes you through a series of carefully crafted tutorials, from how to put together a basic portrait sketch to developing your portraits and then taking your drawings further. From understanding and constructing the head and shaping the hair, to checking the relationships of the features and achieving a lifelike expression, every aspect of the portrait process is examined, along with advice on which materials to use and how to find a model.

    She is so bored, in fact, that she even considers playing with that slobbering mutt Puppy, who lives in her house. Nah. Instead, she thinks she'll take a nap. That is, until there is a knock on the door . . .Strange Kitty is here to guide both Kitty and Kitty's fans through the world of making comics. Like to draw? Great! Here's your chance to show off your skills! Don't know how to draw? That's okay! Through guided exercises you will learn all about how comics work, including sections on panelling, sound and visual effects, word balloons and so much more!With such fun activities and a hilarious story to boot, this is bound to be a Bad Kitty favorite!

    In this volume, first published in 1979, Krenov invites the reader into his workshop, where he shares his techniques and uncompromising approach to craftsmanship, along with thoughts about his work and its place in the world. Photo sequences show how Krenov composes a cabinet directly in the wood, without dimensioned drawings. He also discusses working with shop-sawn veneers, the technique of fitting curved doors, and the problems of accuracy and mistakes. The book concludes with a detailed exploration of three furniture projects: a curved showcase cabinet, a writing table with drawer, and a chess table.

    Enjoy an entertaining look at the history of the Featherweight sewing machine. Expanded third edition updated with the latest research. Packed with photos, stories, and handy information. Learn to date and troubleshoot your machine. A fun read for quilters, Featherweight owners, and history buffs.

    How? By taking the fear and mystery out of dictation. By providing exercises designed to nurture and connect parts of the brain used during dictation. By offering specific tips to remove the discomfort that causes most writers to abandon dictation. Fool Proof Dictation is the only ebook of its kind, focusing primarily on the mental process of dictation. It’s a self-paced training system that streamlines the dictation process. There are warm-ups, practical exercises, and an easy to follow routine for dictating your scenes.Fool Proof Dictation serves both absolute beginners and writers who’ve tried dictation but grew discouraged, eventually giving it up. This system offers an ease-of-use that will surprise everyone with how effective and gratifying dictation can be!This ebook details the method I use when I dictate fiction. It also explains all the exercises I’ve used over time to train my brain for effective dictation. On top of that, it includes enough prompts to keep those exercises working for months!

    But, you think, Learning to paint must be hard and frustrating. Not with Cathy Johnson as your teacher! Here, she makes learning to paint in watercolor fun--even easy!With Painting Watercolors, you'll learn to paint by picking up a brush and painting--not by reading about a bunch of confusing theories.Cathy tells you everything you need to begin--including:- Which tools and materials you should buy to get off to a good, affordable start - When, what, even where to paint - Explanations of watercolor terms (such as washes and puddles) - Easy and useful painting tricks--such as glazing and drybrush.Exercises help you loosen up and learn the ins and outs of putting paint on paper. Easy-to-follow, step-by-step instructions show you how to paint water, believable skies, a variety of trees in different seasons and other popular elements. Plus, a dozen demonstrations show you how paintings come together, from initial sketch to final brushstrokes.With Cathy's help, you can start painting right away!

     This Unofficial Guide unveils many of the hidden secrets to promoting your published book. How can I get my book into the Hot New Releases? How can I get my book to appear along side the Best Sellers on Amazon? How can I pick the best book category for my book, and why are they hidden from me in Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP)? I’m now going to show you the answers. I’m going to tell you what is really going on. This Kindle book is quite literally a cheat sheet, a short cut to your biggest challenge on Amazon: Getting discovered. Get your copy now!