The first change will be in his diet, and from now on puss is obliged to eat vegetables instead of his beloved cat food. But things get complicated and, unwittingly, Marmalade ends up in India in the Ashram of a well-known guru together with his companion in misfortune Fluffy the pussycat. After many adventures they return to their native land after being abducted by a UFO and end up triumphing on the small screen, because, as the authors conclude, "If you like happy endings, this is the book for you"

    Folks tend to expect a little more action in the romance department from a former star linebacker and an ex party machine. But a decade in the Special Forces followed by career in fire rescue operations hasn’t left him much time to play Romeo. So he does the unthinkable — he hires an actress to pose as his bride for the weekend. Serena Chandler is supposed to be working on her doctoral dissertation, not filling in for her bestie’s slightly scandalous rent-a-date service. However, her short-term “husband” seems like a perfect gentleman, so she relaxes and decides to enjoy their weekend trip together while keeping things strictly professional between them. He’s made it clear he’s a no strings attached kind of man, and that’s fine with her. Their carefully negotiated agreement works right up to the point when a fire breaks out at his alma mater, and she becomes trapped in the gym. Watching the ripped and ready Ransom take charge in a daring rescue operation, however, makes all her best-laid plans go up in smoke. She finds herself scheming with her Mensa-level I.Q. for a way to turn their fake marriage into a real one. If they survive the fire, of course! Step into the world of Disaster City Search and Rescue, where officers, firefighters, military, and medics, train and work alongside each other with the dogs they love, to do the most dangerous job of all — help lost and injured victims find their way home.

    The abuse she’s experienced from her mother and step dad has left her sheltered and guarded. Her only motivation is to one day escape the darkness that surrounds her. Her vision is clear: work hard, get an education and walk away from the house of horrors for good. When the opportunity to get more money comes her way she jumps at the chance. Money is now her goal and the path she’s taking to get it will lead her down the road to an unexpected future. 
The Hampton brothers Za’Shon ‘Fire’, Jaivon, and Tyree are running things in Atlanta. Of the trio, Fire’s the most arrogant and the only one willing to do anything to take his family to the next level. His focus was on one thing building his empire and making more money. That is until he meets Lacye. He falls fast for her. 
Lacye has never met someone like Fire. His arrogance and bluntness takes her by surprise. But it’s also the thing she falls in love with. He believes he’s found the perfect woman who’s beautiful, smart, and innocent. Their romance goes fast but the secrets she’s been holding comes out. His lifestyle and her secrets crash together making the perfect storm. It leaves a path of destruction and hurt. They both find themselves losing everything they’ve worked so hard for. Za’Shon won’t allow his world to come crashing down and he won’t lose Lacye. The savage in him won’t let her go but the cost of loving her threatens to bring down him and his brothers. His recklessness creates havoc and starts a war that threatens to take everything and everyone away from him. But that’s what happens when you set Fire to Lacye.

    The struggle is real. Anyone who is a cat lover knows that the cat rules the roost, and that certainly doesn’t change at bedtime. You might be ready to sleep, but you can bet that kitty is ready for just about anything but some shut-eye. Release your frustrations with a good laugh as you read along with Rosa and her struggle to get her cat to Stop Meowing and Go the F*ck to Sleep! Stop Meowing and Go the F*ck to Sleep is a funny bedtime book for all the desperate cat parents out there. If you have experienced the nightmare of having a kitty who won’t let you have a good night’s sleep, this is the book for you. It’s the perfect gift for crazy cat lovers who appreciate hilarious insights into the feline nature.

    James (AKA manners columnist Miss Prim & Proper) heads to Sinful, Louisiana to stay with her frail, elderly great-aunt Ida Belle, a woman she's never met. What better place to hide than a sleepy little southern bayou town where nothing ever happens? But when the bullets start to fly, she soon discovers that her aunt Ida Belle and friends are anything but feeble, and that Sinful is anything but quiet. When the corpse of a scorned suitor goes missing, Stephanie decides her best hope to escape a murder rap is to join forces with Swamp Team Three.

    One of her debts is with the owner of a landscaping company. Could she pay him back in services? He seems nice enough...Excerpt:As soon as Jeff walked into his office, he knew something was amiss because it was Monday morning and Todd and Alan were all smiles. When he stepped in, Mitch seemed to come out of nowhere, slapping him on the back and telling him what a glorious Monday morning it was.In his seven years working with Todd and Alan, Jeff had never seen them smile; he didn’t even know they could smile. And as for Mitch ... he must have smelled too many of those weeds they were taking out of their clients’ yards.Completely dumbfounded, he turned the corner into his office and immediately realized it wasn't weeds or weed. The reason behind the smiles on and the cheery disposition of these clowns on this glorious Monday morning took another shape altogether.Stumbling into his office after being caught off guard and slapped on the back, he was immediately greeted by the most gorgeous, ass-thetically pleasing tush in tight jeans he had seen in a long, long time.He wondered what the face looked like and quickly decided it didn't really matter as he focused on her assets while she was bent down shuffling through some papers and totally unaware of the eight eyes boring through her. Four pair of eyes who should have been working on something, but couldn't disengage.The fact that she was rummaging through his papers didn’t immediately register.The woman turned around without looking up and carried a stack of papers to a file cabinet that had come with the building and had never been used. As far as he could recall, the cabinet had never been opened, and so far, had been used as a shelf for a silk plant his mother gave him as a gift when he started the business.To his dismay, the plant was now in the trash bin next to the file cabinet. That hurt.The woman was oblivious to the attention she was getting and after depositing the stack of papers in a neat pile in the top drawer of the file cabinet, she turned around to see a gaping Jeff standing before her.The first thing Jeff thought before hinging his jaw back into place was that the woman's front-side was just as pretty as her backside. She looked to be in her early thirties, and not only wore the jeans very well, but the white t-shirt she had on was filled out in all the right places and looked like an advertisement for trouble.She was petite, but disproportionately bigger where it really mattered. Her hair was tied with one of those elastic fabric bands his nieces always wore, and her eyes were as green as the silk plant had once been.Jeff gave himself a few seconds before giving in to reason. Regretfully, he decided it was time to put an end to his enjoyment - nice tush or not. After all, this was his office, he was the boss, and he had no idea what the hell was going on.“What did you do to my plant?!” was somehow the first thing that came out of his mouth. As if realizing how stupid his remark was, Jeff rather forcefully shoved his amused employees out of the way and out of his office.She looked down at the trash bin he was pointing to, and she suddenly seemed very confused when she looked up to see his expectant and slightly flushed face.“It’s dead. I don't think it can be saved, so I threw it out." Bending down to get it, she added, "I can put it back up he ..."Now that really hurt. Not to mention the fact that her bending down again completely disarmed him.“How can silk be dead?” he snapped.“That was silk?" she replied smiling. "Wow, I never met anyone who could kill silk before.”Jeff tried to ignore the chuckles coming from the room next door, but just as he was about to snap at them, the intruder...

    Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! Amazon Prime Members can borrow this book for FREE! 151+ funny yo momma jokes Hilarious yo momma insults and humor Hours of funny jokes and entertainment With this MASSIVE collection of funny yo momma jokes you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny yo momma jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book. Uses for funny jokes... Can aid in story-telling Great for conversation starters Improves conversation and social skills Can make others laugh, smile, and be more playful Can lighten tense moods and create rapport with others Are you looking for funny and hilarious yo momma jokes? Yo momma is so fat… she walked in front of the TV and I missed 3 shows! LOL Yo momma is so old… she knew Burger King while he was still a prince! HAHA Yo momma is so short… she can use a sock for a sleeping bag! Funny Yo Momma Jokes! Yo momma is so tall… she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon! HAHA Yo momma is so poor… she can't afford to pay attention! LOL Yo momma is so stupid… she sold her car for gas money. Funny Yo Momma Jokes! Yo momma is so ugly… that she scares blind people! HAHA Yo momma is so hairy… you almost died of rug burn at birth! LOL Yo momma is so bald… you can see what’s on her mind. This Hilarious Joke Book has 151+ Funny Jokes About... Yo momma is so fat… Yo momma is so skinny… Yo momma is so old… Yo momma is so short… Yo Momma is so tall… Yo momma is so poor… Yo momma is so stupid… Yo momma is so ugly… Yo momma is so hairy… Yo momma is so bald… Yo momma is so lazy… Other yo momma jokes… LOL Funny Jokes Club The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor.

    After abandoning his new home as a lost cause, he's caught up in the poker craze and moves to Atlantic City with a new dream of "playing poker for a living", but soon finds himself stuck in a dizzying spell of bad luck at the card tables. Or maybe he just sucks at poker, like everybody else. His money all gone, and finding that it's actually difficult to drink oneself to death at 1am, he's suddenly offered a chance to make his money back, and then some, by running an underground poker game in New York City. Once in New York, Tim finds himself on the road to recovery and making real money for the first time—but at what cost? We Run Bad offers an authentic and darkly comic look at underground poker culture, while serving up an indictment of post-recession America. Here, every game is rigged, and the only way to come out ahead is to be the one doing the rigging.

    A compulsive widowed blacksmith with two young daughters. Will they find a way to coexist or even better, forge a romantic relationship? Ada Pike longs to leave the life of a socialite and use her skills as a baker to love and nurture a family. A move to the country will perfectly suit her first steps into life on her own. Barrett Montgomery rejects the idea of a mail-order bride. What he needs is a housekeeper—someone he can fire if things don’t work out the way he likes. Can a matchmaking agency work miracles to bring two people with opposing goals together?

    Culling over 300 pages of some of today's most thrilling writers, The Best of 2.13.61 Publications hallmarks our company's ten year existence. Excerpts include new material from Henry Rollins and Hubert Selby, Jr, as well as excerpts from Henry Miller's love letters, Nick Zedd's hilarious nihilistic New York urban spelunkings, Ian Shoales' undeniably witty social commentaries and so much more.

    A gay birthday clown lamenting the loss of his beloved dog. An amateur veterinarian keeping watch over his suicidal daughter. And a bikini model with a barnacle stuck to her butt cheek. These are just a few of the characters who populate the quirky, offbeat world of IF YOU LIVED HERE YOU'D ALREADY BE HOME a world that feels at once alien and strangely familiar. In these twenty-one brief, funny stories, John Jodzio documents his characters disappointment, frustration, and longing for a home that seems forever out of reach. By turns bleak and hopeful, cruel and tender, this is an exciting literary debut by a writer to watch, a writer with a unique and compelling voice. You may think you've read enough stories about penniless gay clowns who can't get over the loss of a dog, but I assure you you have not. John Jodzio is the best kind of modern fiction writer: a thematic traditionalist who feels totally new. --Chuck Klosterman, author of SEX, DRUGS, AND COCOA PUFFS

     But Samantha will never forget the day that she made a pact with her three best friends in high school. Each of them took a pledge to never date their idea of Mr. Wrong. Fun and innocent, right? The problem with Samantha’s Mr. Wrong is that he’s one of her best friend's brothers. Samantha slept with him in high school. He was her first and no man has ever compared. Fast forward to today when her best friends all agree to accept a challenge to go date their Mr. Wrongs by the age of thirty. Remember that man who could change everything? It’s him...her Mr. Wrong. And he's just made her an offer she can't refuse, even if it means leaving the ones she loves behind.

     Meet Wally Moscowitz. His day job is top secret. As ghostwriter for Oral B, the most famous gangsta rapper in the world, Wally is the real mastermind behind Godz-Illa Records' best-selling artist, and the best-kept secret in the Industry. But if word gets out about Wally's true profession, Godz-Illa's kajillion-dollar rap empire will be sunk, and Wally will be dead meat. When Wally comes home one particularly bizarre afternoon to find a ransom note and his best friend and dog, Dr. Barry Schwartzman, missing, Wally goes to great lengths to stop the dognappers while keeping the big secret under wraps. He must, if he wants to walk away with his job, not to mention his life, intact. The hunt for Dr. Schwartzman and the blackmailing thug who is trying to reveal hip-hop's biggest conspiracy becomes a wild-goose chase in which everyone becomes a suspect: Sue Schadenfreude, Wally's girlfriend, who makes a pretty penny massaging Barbra Streisand's papillon, Yenta; Pardeep Vishvatma, Wally's neighbor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the suspicious characters lurking about the hood; Jerry Silver, Wally's slick-rick, self-styled superagent; Abraham "Dandy" Lyons, Wally's boss and Godz-Illa's CEO-badass with Suge Knight's street cred and Tony Soprano's "friends"; Jem, the fiery, achingly familiar vixen who steals Wally's heart; Yo Yo Pa and Teddy Bizzle, Oral B's entourage; and the mysterious mob crew: Five-two Lou, Six-seven Kevin, and Balsamic Vinny, who show up when Wally needs them most. Duck Duck Wally is a hilarious romp through the absurdities of Los Angeles, the bombastic details of hip-hop culture, and a day in the life of what was supposed to be the painfully ordinary existence of Wally Moscowitz.

    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    This novel is a unique and innovative take on the world of a Bihari youth who breaks many stereotypes. This novel revolves around the character of Rahul (a Bihari) who is living in Mumbai. The narration is filled with crisp humor and a distinctive comic tone which it a pleasant read, whilst delivering a strong social message. The book is authored by Shashikant Mishra and is published by Radhakrishna Prakashan in 2015.Rahul is a common Bihari youth who has been dreaming of living in Mumbai (the city of dreams) ever since his tender years. Hailing from an affluent family, he reaches Mumbai without much hassle. But its not all sunshine and rainbows as he settles down in the film capital of the country!He receives a significant culture shock and it takes ample time for Rahul to get adjusted to the fast paced life of the city. Rahul wants to become a civil servant and hence is preparing for the UPSC exams. He is duly focused on his goal and exam preparation until he gets a girl in his life, Shalu. Now Rahul is faced with the dilemma of choosing one - Shalu or the UPSC exam. What choice is Rahul going to make? Will he go with the love of his life? Or will he sacrifice his life for the sanctity of his professional career? Could there be an option where he can choose both? This is a gripping novel which answers all these questions and more.