The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?

    Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort.One fateful night – different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful – Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world, a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to “survive.” Because even after it’s over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.

    The escape involved "borrowing" Odin's magical, world-walking, eight-legged, horse, Sleipnir. Now Odin wants Sleipnir back. FBI Director Steve Rogers doesn't want Odin getting anything he wants. Amy and Bohdi want to set Sleipnir free. The horse has his own ideas. A story (mostly) from Sleipnir's point of smell. THE I BRING THE FIRE SERIES: I Bring the Fire Part I (Free eBook!) Monsters: I Bring the Fire Part II Chaos: I Bring the Fire Part III In the Balance: I Bring the Fire 3.5 Fates: I Bring the Fire Part IV The Slip: a Short Story Warriors: I Bring the Fire Part V Ragnarok: I Bring the Fire Part VI The Fire Bringers: An I Bring the Fire Short Story

    Explicit language warning but little erotic content. (11,000 words ~ 43 pages) First published in The Mammoth Book of Paranormal Romance 2 (2010).WARNINGContains confused lovelorn werewolves and very pretty ex-Goth mermen who are exclusively interested in each other. May also contain fish, Irish mafia, and a shocking lack of tea.

    It cries a lot and wears diapers. It also has horns, cloven hooves, and green skin.Zoey and Maurice the closet monster look for the unlikely parents in a crazy attempt to bring together the mismatched family. A dangerous prospect, considering the family's hostile relatives.Ill-Conceived Magic is a short story in the same world as the Monster Haven novels from Carina Press. It also includes a bonus first chapter of Pooka in My Pantry.This story can be enjoyed without having read the novels. However, it fits chronologically between book one, Monster in My Closet, and book two, Pooka in My Pantry. Books one and two are available everywhere great digital books are sold. Look for book three, Fairies in My Fireplace, in September of 2013.

    Multi-dimensional swashbuckling would be hard enough, but our two unfortunate souls broke up a week ago.Can friendship blossom from the ashes of a relationship? In infinite dimensions, all things are possible.

    Will Tanya ever realize her dream of becoming a Hunter? Why do orcs like talk radio? Why won’t bacon stay crispy in milk? FIND OUT!

    Here are twenty-three original tales—stories of the Old West infused with elements of the fantastic—produced specifically for this volume by many of today’s finest writers. Included are Orson Scott Card’s first “Alvin Maker” story in a decade, and an original adventure by Fred Van Lente, writer of Cowboys & Aliens. Other contributors include Tobias S. Buckell, David Farland, Alan Dean Foster, Jeffrey Ford, Laura Anne Gilman, Rajan Khanna, Mike Resnick, Beth Revis, Fred Van Lente, Walter Jon Williams, Ben H. Winters, Christie Yant, and Charles Yu, with an introduction by editor John Joseph Adams.CONTENTS:01 - Joe R. Lansdale, The Red-Headed Dead02 - Ben H. Winters, The Old Slow Man and his Gold Gun from Space03 - David Farland, Hellfire on the High Frontier04 - Mike Resnick, The Hell-Bound Stagecoach05 - Seanan McGuire, Stingers and Strangers06 - Charles Yu, Bookkeeper, Narrator, Gunslinger07 - Alan Dean Foster, Holy Jingle08 - Beth Revis, The Man With No Heart09 - Alastair Reynolds, Wrecking Party10 - Hugh Howey, Hell from the East11 - Rajan Khanna, Second Hand12 - Orson Scott Card, Alvin and the Apple Tree13 - Elizabeth Bear, Madam Damnable's Sewing Circle14 - Tad Williams, Strong Medicine15 - Jonathan Maberry, Red Dreams16 - Kelley Armstrong, Bamboozled17 - Tobias S. Buckell, Sundown18 - Jeffrey Ford, La Madre del Oro19 - Ken Liu, What I Assume You Shall Assume20 - Laura Anne Gilman, The Devil's Jack21 - Walter Jon Williams, The Golden Age22 - Fred Van Lente, Neversleeps23 - Christie Yant, Dead Man's Hand

    Sergeant Jordan Stone and his crack forensic team are called in to examine the site, to hunt for the perpetrators of this horrific act. But the discovery of a survivor—a child of ten—will shatter all the team knows about life and death. Among the crumbling bones of dead kings, something hoary and murderous stirs out of the ancient past, lurching forward to claim vengeance on those still living.Included with this thrilling story is a sneak peek at The Blood Gospel, where the further exploits of Sergeant Stone and his team will be revealed.

    A henpecked husband copes with the frustrations of his dull life by imagining he is a fearless airplane pilot, a brilliant doctor, and other dashing figures.

    He is also very sensitive to attempts on his life. When a murder of crows tries to... well, murder him, and the contents of his bath are transmuted into hot nitric acid, he suspects someone may mean him harm. The trail leads to one of the less travelled parts of Hell itself, and there Cabal will need a guide.As Dante had his Virgil, so Cabal employs the services of a devil who is a monster, a predator, and -- most alien of all to Cabal -- a woman. The devil Zarenyia and he delve deep into Hell, even into Satan's greatest mistake, to confront challenges quite outside the ken of any mortal. But one should always use a long spoon when supping with a devil, and Cabal soon realises the unthinkable, a horror beyond his experience. He is actually beginning to like her.

    Moreau to Dr. Doom, readers have long been fascinated by insane plans for world domination and the madmen who devise them. Typically, we see these villains through the eyes of good guys. This anthology, however, explores the world of mad scientists and evil geniuses—from their own wonderfully twisted point of view. An all-star roster of bestselling authors—including Diana Gabaldon, Daniel Wilson, Austin Grossman, Naomi Novik, and Seanan McGuire ... twenty-two great storytellers, all told—have produced a fabulous assortment of stories, guaranteed to provide readers with hour after hour of high-octane entertainment born of the most megalomaniacal mayhem imaginable. Everybody loves villains. They’re bad; they always stir the pot; they’re much more fun than the good guys, even if we want to see the good guys win. Their fiendish schemes, maniacal laughter, and limitless ambition are legendary, but what lies behind those crazy eyes and wicked grins? How—and why—do they commit these nefarious deeds? And why are they so set on taking over the world? If you've ever asked yourself any of these questions, you’re in luck: It’s finally time for the madmen’s side of the story.Between each chapter falls a single-page essay by the editor, by way of introduction to the story ahead; they have titles of their own, but all contain spoilers, so are not listed here (they can be found on the Internet Science Fiction Database if desired). All individual works in this anthology are in short story form, with the exception of Diana Gabaldon's 80-page Outlander novella, and unless otherwise noted, were first published within. CONTENTS Foreword - Chris Claremont, The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination: Original Short Fiction for the Modern Evil Genius (p9)01 - Austin Grossman, Professor Incognito Apologizes: An Itemized List (p16)02 - Harry Turtledove, Father of the Groom (p28)03 - Seanan McGuire, Laughter at the Academy: A Field Study in the Genesis of Schizotypal Creative Genius Personality Disorder (SCGPD) (p38)04 - David D. Levine, Letter to the Editor (p52)05 - Jeremiah Tolbert, Instead of a Loving Heart (2004, p59)06 - Daniel H. Wilson, The Executor (p68)07 - Heather Lindsley, The Angel of Death Has a Business Plan (p83)08 - Dave Wolverton (as David Farland), Homo Perfectus (p96)09 - L.A. Banks, Ancient Equations (p108)10 - Alan Dean Foster, Rural Singularity (p123)11 - Genevieve Valentine, Captain Justice Saves the Day (p133)12 - Theodora Goss, The Mad Scientist's Daughter (2010, p142)13 - Diana Gabaldon, The Space Between (2012 Outlander novella, p161)14 - Carrie Vaughn, Harry and Marlowe Meet the Founder of the Aetherian Revolution (p245)15 - Laird Barron, Blood and Stardust (p261)16 - L.E. Modesitt Jr., A More Perfect Union (p276)17 - Naomi Novik, Rocks Fall (p289)18 - Mary Robinette Kowal, We Interrupt This Broadcast (Lady Astronaut short story, p298)19 - Marjorie M. Liu, The Last Dignity of Man (p306)20 - Jeffrey Ford, The Pittsburgh Technology (p328)21 - Grady Hendrix, Mofongo Knows (p341)22 - Ben H. Winters, The Food Taster's Boy (p357)

    No air, cosmic radiation, absolute lack of other life-sustaining essentials.What better way to deal with space travel than to man ships with creatures that regenerate or don’t need air, or are immune to various maladies? In a future world where zombies, vampires and werewolves co-exist with ‘normal’ humans on Earth, these ships are staffed by a motley crew of various types of undead or near-dead creatures.Of course no one really knows what happens when zombies and vampires are squeezed together in the close confines of a spaceship.Don’t you love surprises?Mercedes Lackey is a New York Times best selling author with over 80 books in print. She is well known for creating complex multi-cultural worlds inhabited by human and non-human characters. Her acclaimed and best selling series of books related to the Valdemar saga takes place in the intricately woven world of Velgarth. To date there are 27 novels and six anthologies set in this world, and many of these books have become New York Times bestsellers.

    For Lizzie Brown, that's just the beginning. Soon her hyperactive terrier starts talking, and her long-lost biker witch Grandma is hurling Smuckers jars filled with magic. Just when she thinks she's seen it all, Lizzie learns she's a demon slayer -- and all hell is after her.Of course, that's not the only thing after her. Dimitri Kallinikos, a devastatingly handsome shape-shifting griffin needs Lizzie to slay a demon of his own. But how do you talk a girl you've never met into going straight to the underworld? Lie. And if that doesn't work, how dangerous could a little seduction be...?