That is, until Tony wants to pull a scam on the company where she works. In order to keep Mildred signing phony documents, Tony gives Mildred a taste of romance and keeps raising the stakes until he’s eventually forced to propose. But when the big day arrives he skips town with the money he’s stolen.Heartbroken, Mildred takes a trip to Barbados where her “vacation” turns out to be a boot-camp style weight loss clinic! Soon she discovers a goddess that had been hiding beneath her homely exterior. And when she runs into Tony on the island, he doesn’t even recognize the sexy fox standing before him. Little does he know that this fox has a plan for revenge that will leave him whimpering with his tail between his legs for a good, long time.

    Will he succeed in his noble quest? Is he the reason this book is the worst?? Will it have a happy ending or the worst ending ever???The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World is a humorous and witty tale for young and seasoned readers. Whatever you do though, don't read it out loud! You may catch wind of these words: toot, stinky, booger, and booty. You've been warned, but you'll still want to see what happens next!If you purchase the paperback you get the eBook version of The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World for FREE. So technically you are getting the worst book AND the worst eBook in the whole entire world for the price of one...who wouldn't want to miss out on that??Be sure to check out The SCARIEST Book in the Whole Entire World!

    From New York Times bestselling Shel Silverstein, celebrated creator of Where the Sidewalk Ends, A Light in the Attic, and Falling Up, comes an amazing collection of never-before-published poems and drawings.Have you ever read a book with everything on it? Well, here it is! You will say Hi-ho for the toilet troll, get tongue-tied with Stick-a-Tongue-Out-Sid, play a highly unusual horn, and experience the joys of growing down.What's that? You have a case of the Lovetobutcants? Impossible! Just come on in and let the magic of Shel Silverstein bend your brain and open your heart.And don't miss Runny Babbit Returns, the new book from Shel Silverstein!

    Eliot for his godchildren and friends in the thirties. They have delighted generations of children since, and inspired Andrew Lloyd Webber's brilliant musical Cats.

    Crump being Crump he immediately set out to remedy the matter, and the result was "Bastards I Have Met", an ABC of Bastardry which when published in 1971 took the country by storm. Now due to popular demand Crump's original twenty-six prize bastards are presented for public enjoyment once again, together with another eight unlikely bastards he met while working down on the Coast a few years back. A whole new generation will enjoy this fresh collection of Crump tales, which are as hilarious as they are perceptive of the many quirks and oddities in the Kiwi character.

    She's also a witch. Unsure of her feelings towards magic and desperate to escape the clutches of her overbearing mother, she takes a 'proper' job as a nanny for the Wilkins family. But things don't go quite as she has planned. Cara moves into the Wilkins' home and before long the whole family come to rely on her as a source of fun and excitement in their lives. Nick and Andie Wilkins' marriage is falling apart and so Cara sets about trying to reconcile them. When her benign attempts to fix things result in Nick flirting with her and Andie contemplating an affair, Cara can't resist any longer. She resorts to the magic she's been trying so hard to to give up and soon the whole house is in uproar...

    He has, however, been a disappointment to his family in several ways: In appearance he is insignificant looking both in face and figure; he went to the University of Florida instead of Harvard where his forbears had been mainstays of the varsity crew for generations, and he studied agriculture instead of pointing himself toward a career in banking, bonds, or law. To say the least he is not apparently the stuff from which heroes are fashioned.As an agricultural expert specializing in fruit farming, Arthur becomes a Peace Corps volunteer and is assigned to the Republic of San Marco in the Caribbean. This weak-chinned Don Quixote soon acquires his Sancho Panza in the person of a rascally eleven-year-old boy, Pepe, who makes a bargain to be paid 400 pesos each time he saves Arthur's life. (The payments mount alarmingly!)The island's dictator thinks he can use Arthur to obtain military supplies with which to wipe out the band of guerillas in the hills who oppose his corrupt dictatorship. Failing in this the dictator decides to murder Goodpasture and cause an international incident by blaming it on the guerillas. This, he reasons, will bring the U.S. in to help stamp out the rebels.This plan also backfires (with Pepe's help, of course) and Goodpasture is taken prisoner and when they see he is a harmless eccentric he is appointed chief cook for the guerillas. From then on Arthur's life becomes a series of misadventures through which he moves serenely and from which he generally emerges unscathed (again with Pepe's assistance) until he surprisingly finds himself the guerillas' leader.Following one of the funniest bloodless revolutions imaginable Arthur Peabody Goodpasture ends up as Arthur el Gavilan, the new dictator of San Marco. "His strength was as the strength of ten because his heart was pure."

    J.K. Rowling, Hugh Jackman, Kathleen Turner, Stan Lee, James Belushi, Moon Zappa, Seth Green, Piers Morgan, Jodi Picoult, Stephen King, Phil Ramone, Michael Winner, Alan Cumming, Jerry Springer, Armistead Maupin, E from The Eels, Ferran Adrià, Rose McGowan, James Woods or Gillian Anderson.It is the perfect gift for your mum or dad, sister or brother, gran or granddad, or someone who is a teenager, even turning 16.

    Farts: A Spotter's Guide will help you pinpoint he (or she) who dealt it every time. This hilarious book identifies the habitat, range, voice, and "field marks" of tencommon wind breakers, from the gentle hiss of the Silent-but-Deadly to the rip-roaring flatulation of the Seismic Blast. The attached battery powered fart machine reproduces each emanation in accurate sound. Grossly hip illustrations by the Fudge Factory'syes, you read that rightTravis Millard depict the offenders and offendees in brilliant detail. Printed on durable card stock, this is pure, unbridled entertainment for the giggling child in all of us. Let 'er rip!

    Just as cats go miaow and cows go moo, The Truth Pixie can only say things that are true.

    Jenkins is the author of many books including the New York Times bestseller Out of the Blue with Orel Hershiser.

    Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.

    But to do this they need to outwit the evil General Woundwort.

    A little boy has had enough of thunderstorms interfering with his life! He's done with being afraid and he's had enough of the "roars" in the sky ruining some of his favorite days!Determined to find out what's behind the roaring and get it to stop already, he sets off on a brave adventure.Who knew there were such interesting things in the clouds?!Pirates, firefighters and even dinosaurs quickly turn fear into one big-bellied-giggle after another!

    At the turn of eighteenth-century England, a spirited young woman copes with the suit of a snobbish gentleman as well as the romantic entanglements of two of her four sisters.