Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

    But I wrote a lot of good poems.”So maintains Anita Liberty, the caustically funny New York City performance artist who was going along happily healing her hurt by hating and humiliating her detestable ex-boyfriend on stage and in print until the unthinkable happened: she had a good date. And one good date deserves another. And another. And another. And, all of the sudden, Anita Liberty finds herself in a predicament. Getting dumped launched Anita’s career–Will falling in love finish it? Who’s more important: her devoted audience or her newly devoted boyfriend? And on top of everything, Hollywood won’t stop calling and Anita can’t figure out if It wants a serious commitment or just a little bit of no-strings-attached fun. From digging mercilessly into the minutiae of her new relationship to dramatically torching every professional bridge she crosses in L.A., Anita refuses to let a big load of bliss get dumped right in the middle of her career path.“He said that my work was amazing and hilarious and smart and that he can’t wait to see me perform.So I had sex with him.”“My boyfriend asked me to change my look.To something other than contemptuous.”{BARGAIN} Whatever Hollywood ends up paying me for the rights to the story of my life.“It’s easier to go back to fantasizing about perfection . . .than to accept that perfection is just a fantasy.”“Boyfriend thinks I’d rather be right than happy.Boyfriend’s right.But I’m not telling him that.”Through blog entries, film scenes, poems, and to-do lists, Anita Liberty documents the perils and pitfalls of dating, sex, relationships, artistic success, and the kind of true love that sucks the creative life out of you to the point where you just end up staring at a blank computer screen and thinking gooey thoughts about your new boyfriend even though you should be writing.

    But my Karma won’t let me, I have to compensate for what I’ve done.”Kolkata, 2008 Driven by a crazed love, Dev, our next door shy software engineer commits the biggest mistake of his life. Over 72 marathon hours, he loses his education, career, love, and life by a single act of madnes.Bengaluru 2012 Years later, Dev reaches Bengaluru in search of a better life. Destiny brings him face to face with his first love once again. He chases the same impossible dream only to find himself burning and failing in love. On the verge of losing everything that mattered, Dev fights his sense of practicality and his crazy, but limitless ‘Love’.Let’s find out who wins!Error Code Love takes you on an epic journey through the roads of friendship, jealousy, obsession, mistakes, redemption and love. It raises questions allied to grey areas of teen emotions and lets you find the answers within.

     Six people longing to mend broken hearts and shattered dreams… Three romances ready to blossom in the charming Midwest town of Clayburn. REMEMBER TO FORGET: Graphic designer Maggie Anderson has lived under her boyfriend's tyranny for nearly two years...until she's carjacked in New York. Will this terrifying experience be the end for Maggie—or the beginning of a freedom greater than she dares imagine? But to gain her freedom, she'll have to remember to forget everything about her old life… LEAVING NOVEMBER: Eight years ago, Vienne Kenney moved away from Clayburn and all its gossip to pursue a law degree in California. But now she has failed the bar exam…again. Is she destined to be stuck forever, a failure—just like her father—in this podunk Kansas town? YESTERDAY’S EMBERS: On Thanksgiving Day, Douglas DeVore kissed his beloved wife good-bye, unaware that it would be the last time he'd see her—or their precious daughter Rachel. Left with five kids to raise on his own, and already juggling two jobs to make ends meet, Doug wonders how he'll manage moment by moment, much less day after day, without Kaye's love and support.

    Cox weaves the exciting, authentic tale of Harry Nelson-Heron, a young midshipman in the British Navy in the early 1800s. Born in 1789 during the Irish Rebellion, Harry must overcome the prejudice against the Irish and the usual hazards of an active and inquisitive youth to realise his dream of becoming an officer in Britain’s Royal Navy. When he and his childhood friend Ferghal make the treacherous journey to London to be commissioned to a ship, fate smiles on them. Harry is appointed a midshipman on the HMS Bellerophon, and Ferghal joins him as a seaman. Corsairs, diplomacy, and exploration challenge their skills as the seafaring life takes Harry and Ferghal across the seas to worlds they never imagined and engages their ship in sea fights with the French during the Napoleonic Wars.

    Faricy takes things from there into a 'Can't put it down' tale that will have you riveted. A great read. - The Irish Gazette Two American women, Kate Betto and Megan Ganino, a redhead and a blonde, are arrested and cooperate with authorities to aid in the conviction of a pair of major drug dealers. At the conclusion of the trial, they're secretly flown back to the US to serve time. It happens to be the same day that Kate Murray and Megan Gaffney, a blonde and a redhead, arrive in Dublin to celebrate their college graduation, rent a car, and drive west. Things go terribly wrong almost immediately. US Marshal Jack Dillon and DI Paddy Suel investigate a torched rental car and quickly learn there's a lot more going on . . . and the clock is ticking! Grab your copy NOW!

    He's confronted the HOA. He's even taken on Santa himself. He doesn't usually win. These are the tales of the Dumb White Husband and they are all available here in this collected edition.This handsome volume includes:Dumb White Husband vs. the Grocery Store - John would rather sit and watch the game, but his wife needs some things at the store. Can he complete the list and get back in time to see the end of the game?Dumb White Husband vs. Halloween - Every Halloween, Chris has the scariest house on the block and gives out the best candy. But, this year, someone is showing him up and he'll stop at nothing to find out who.Dumb White Husband vs. Santa - Erik has planned the perfect Christmas for his family. The plan is foolproof, bulletproof and flame retardant. Nothing can undo the hours of planning and preparation. Nothing except maybe odd-shaped packages, ill-timed fruitcakes or an errant neighborhood Santa Claus.Dumb White Husband vs. the Tooth Fairy - Erik always has a plan and he's sure he would have figured out the whole Tooth Fairy thing eventually. But, when his three-year-old son takes a frisbee to the mouth, he's forced to speed things up. Between neighborhood kids with big mouths and unhelpful dentists he's going to need to improvise. Will he bend to the pressure of inflation? Will he get caught in the act? And, what do you do with those teeth anyway?Dumb White Husband for President (A novella) - There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand for the things he believes in. John doesn't believe in bagging his grass. So, when a new allergy-prone neighbor gets the HOA to require it, there's only one thing he can do - run for President of The Creeks of Sage Valley Phase II.John, Chris and Erik put aside most of their differences to run a campaign that they hope will see John elected as President and end the meddling of the rule-loving new kid on the block. Will they succeed? It's doubtful.

    Regardless of religion, race, sex, sexuality or nationality. He hates all of you. Basically, you are fucked." God is pissed off. He has run out of patience with humans and decided that our time is over. We've had our chance and its back to the drawing board. "Fuck the lot of them" is his newest gospel. Mo, and Jay, best Friends who've fucked up in the past, beg him for one more chance to get the humans back on track. Alongside Mr Saluzar, the head of a global charity foundation, and Nick, The Fallen Angel, they hurtle towards Armageddon and their one chance to prove God wrong. They have seven days to save us. On The Seventh Day contains strong language and religious irreverence which some may find offensive. Irreverent dark humour from the author of Lanarkshire Strays and the dEaDINBURGH series.

    Their children’s home Marshall’s is full of love and laughter, and a world away from their terrible ordeal of being sold to Una Reed for five shillings.There are many more children who still need a home, especially in a world where the workhouse is the last option for desperate families, and so Minnie makes it her mission to build Marshall’s into a refuge for all the waifs and strays. But kind hearts can be taken advantage of, and before long, Marshall’s in under attack. Can Minnie and Billy keep their family together and keep all the children safe, or will they be torn apart again? The Queen of the Black Country sagas is back with a heart-warming, unputdownable and unforgettable tale of triumph against the odds. Perfect for fans of Val Wood and Lyn Andrews.

    Don Marquis' creations have been constantly in print since 1934.

    Follow the lives of Pastor Dan and Anna as they meet, get engaged and begin their lives together. This anthology combines the short stories: A Bride for Pastor Dan, Ready Made Family, The Bridesmaid, Riley’s Song and Heartbreak.

    Truthfully, I barely believed in love. It wasn’t something I’d ever needed, and I didn’t have time for it. Besides, love just led to being hurt, and I could do without that.When a huge alpha barged his way to the front of the line in my bakery, it was anything but a meet cute. My sassy mouth promptly told him exactly where he could take his perfectly formed behind. Right back out the door he’d just come in, and don’t come back, thank you very much. Then our hands touched, and sparks of electricity shot between us, and my soul screamed Mate. I wasn’t looking for love or a mate, but he was looking at me and I couldn’t look anywhere else. He was big and sexy and growly, and smelled like every wishful dream I’d ever had, and forgotten. Making me want things I’d never wanted before. Making me want to run from him as fast as my legs could carry me. Secretly, hoping he would chase me.LachlanI was having a bad morning. Clashing with a smart-mouthed, sarcastic omega was the cherry on top of my already bad day. Getting tossed out of my favorite place for sweet treats was not how I’d planned to start my day. I’d always played by the rules and done what was expected of me. My whole life, I’d known what I’d wanted in my mate. Until he was standing in front of me, nothing like I’d expected him to be, sassing me and ordering me about. Now he was all I wanted. I just had to convince him of that.We were opposites in every way. Fate must have gotten Her wires crossed and messed up big time. Or did She? His Sassy Omega is the first book in a series, but can be read as a standalone, with no cliff hangers and a HEA. It contains opposites attract, age gap, shifters, knotting, and mpreg.**Trigger warning: There is a situation where terminating a pregnancy is discussed between the MC’s, but it is only a discussion. If this could trigger you in any way, please skip that chapter. This does contain a HEA.**Revised for additional editing. No new content was added.**

    Marlowe and Daa search for a lover and roommate to replace the departed Jackson, while masseur Jack seduces Marlowe's cousin, Sheba, into their world of Buddhist rituals, banana smoothies, and California enlightenment.This story of an eclectic cast of characters in a house share in San Francisco as they grapple with love and liberation, substance and soul, and where nothing is what it seems.

    Black Irish Blues is the return-to-origin story of Caesar Stiles, an erstwhile runaway who returns to his hometown with plans to buy the town's only tavern and end his family's Sicilian curse.Caesar's attempt for redemption is complicated by the spectral presence of his estranged father, reparation seekers related to his corrupt older brother, a charming crime boss and his enigmatic crew, and - most significantly - a stranger named Dinny Tuite whose disappearance under dubious circumstances immerses Caesar in a mystery that leads into the criminal underbelly of industrial New Jersey, the flawed myth of the American Dream, and his hometown's shameful secrets.Black Irish Blues is a poetic, gritty noir full of dynamic characters, a page-turning plot, and the further development of a unique American character.

    She's never met anyone like American Steve Rossi, and it's hard to resist his good looks and easy confidence. But there's another side to Steve, and when he pulls a knife during a fight, Maggie begins to wonder what other secrets he's concealing. Joshua Lewis is everything Steve's not: kind, considerate and honest. And he's black. When he and Maggie become friends, Steve's true colours are revealed and Maggie begins to wonder if her feelings for Joshua are as paltonic as she first thought...