He is warm, breathing and healthy -- but empty.

    In another universe, humanity is overrun by monsters so evil that their very presence dims the light of the stars. In yet another universe, humanity is drawn into an endless battle for dominion over the galaxy. This is not one of those universes. In this universe, humanity is in charge of the Galactic Peace Committee. In theory, the Committee is an unmatched force for good, bringing peace and prosperity to countless worlds and ensuring that conflicts between different races are settled with words and not planet-cracking weaponry or super plagues designed to turn everyone into goo. In theory. Jake Smith is a diplomat. He works for the Committee. This is his story – and it goes about as well as you’d expect. In other words, it doesn’t go very well at all. Can Jake survive petty aliens? Sure. He’s a diplomat. It’s all part of the job. What about angry aliens? Probably. He does have a killer robot for a secretary, and he’s not bad with a shock staff. How about a fleet of aliens out for blood? That… that might be a little bit trickier. The Galactic Peace Committee… keeping peace (sort of) throughout the galaxy.

    That puts Ensign Jacob Renselaer on the spot. Can he find out why the aliens killed his ship’s officers? Can he take command of the Battlestar? Does he want to be the leader of ten heavily armed starships that never expected to encounter aliens? Deep in the Kepler 22 star system, mutual misunderstanding between two peoples who cannot speak to each other leads to multiple space battles. Somehow Jacob becomes the leader he never wanted to be. His close friend Daisy the pilot helps him, as do other friends on the Battlestar. On the alien side, Hunter One is determined to kill the invaders who threaten his new colony world. His people the Swarm have never been defeated. Now, he faces Soft Skins who do not flee at the loss of their leaders. In a distant star system, people human and alien die, scheme, and fight for survival. None of them have ever faced combat before. But now, both sides learn what it is like to have someone seek your death and the death of your friends!

    Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! Amazon Prime Members can borrow this book for FREE! 151+ funny yo momma jokes Hilarious yo momma insults and humor Hours of funny jokes and entertainment With this MASSIVE collection of funny yo momma jokes you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny yo momma jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book. Uses for funny jokes... Can aid in story-telling Great for conversation starters Improves conversation and social skills Can make others laugh, smile, and be more playful Can lighten tense moods and create rapport with others Are you looking for funny and hilarious yo momma jokes? Yo momma is so fat… she walked in front of the TV and I missed 3 shows! LOL Yo momma is so old… she knew Burger King while he was still a prince! HAHA Yo momma is so short… she can use a sock for a sleeping bag! Funny Yo Momma Jokes! Yo momma is so tall… she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon! HAHA Yo momma is so poor… she can't afford to pay attention! LOL Yo momma is so stupid… she sold her car for gas money. Funny Yo Momma Jokes! Yo momma is so ugly… that she scares blind people! HAHA Yo momma is so hairy… you almost died of rug burn at birth! LOL Yo momma is so bald… you can see what’s on her mind. This Hilarious Joke Book has 151+ Funny Jokes About... Yo momma is so fat… Yo momma is so skinny… Yo momma is so old… Yo momma is so short… Yo Momma is so tall… Yo momma is so poor… Yo momma is so stupid… Yo momma is so ugly… Yo momma is so hairy… Yo momma is so bald… Yo momma is so lazy… Other yo momma jokes… LOL Funny Jokes Club The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor.

    The Funniest Text Message Autocorrects, Wrong Numbers & Mishaps on Smartphones!

    And now this extra-special 30th anniversary edition has everything you've come to expect from the BRI, and more! It's stuffed with 512 pages of all-new articles sure to please everyone, from our longtime readers to newbies alike. You'll get the scoop on the latest "scientific" studies, weird world news, surprising history, and obscure facts. Here's just a sampling of what's in store:From foe to friend: presidential rivals who are buddies now What you never thought to do with those old CDs you have lying around Saddam Hussein revealed…and it's not pretty James Bond author Ian Fleming and his most titillating book titles The creepiest murderabilia that no one would want…except these people The origins of Project Gutenberg and its free e-books All-new editions of our most popular series, including Terrible Typos, Phrase Origins, and You Call This Art? Myths and facts about our friends—nos amis—the French The most horrifying things ever lost or found And much, much more!

    . . and he's hit the jackpot! After the success of his first two books, Duh! and They Did What!?, Fenster has struck again with Well, Duh! Our Stupid World, and Welcome to It. More tales of the dim-witted and simpleminded are incorporated in chapters such as: Food for Thoughtlessness: The All-Turnip Diet and Other Loony Meals at the Mindless Cafe Hollyweird: Bird Brains in Tinsel Town Dumb Ways to Die: Buried Alive but Not for Long Government by the Idiots: How to Get Elected to AnythingCombined sales of Bob Fenster's previous two books total over 50,000 copies.Ted Rueter is a self-described political junkie and a professor of political science at Tulane University in New Orleans. He is the author of eight books and has written for the New York Times, USA Today, the Los Angeles Times, and the Christian Science Monitor. He earned a Ph.D. from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and has taught at Middlebury College, Georgetown University, Smith College, and UCLA. He is the founder of Noise Free America (Noisefree.org). His Web site is DrPolitics.com.Bob Fenster has combed the world of the intellectually challenged searching for more tales of stupidity to entertain us with . . . and he's hit the jackpot! After the success of his first two books, Duh! and They Did What!?, Fenster has struck again with Well, Duh! Our Stupid World, and Welcome to It. More tales of the dim-witted and simpleminded are incorporated in chapters such as: Food for Thoughtlessness: The All-Turnip Diet and Other Loony Meals at the Mindless Cafe Hollyweird: Bird Brains in Tinsel Town Dumb Ways to Die: Buried Alive but Not for Long Government by the Idiots: How to Get Elected to AnythingCombined sales of Bob Fenster's previous two books total over 50,000 copies.

    For almost three years, the Federation and the Klingon Empire, allied under the Khitomer Accords, have contended with the nascent coalition on a predominantly cold-war footing. But as Starfleet rebuilds itself, factions within the Typhon Pact grow restive, concerned about their own inability to develop a quantum slipstream drive to match that of the Federation. Will leaders such as UFP President Bacco and RSE Praetor Kamemor bring about a lasting peace across the Alpha and Beta Quadrants, or will the cold war between the two alliances deepen, and perhaps even lead to an all-out shooting war? Raise the Dawn After the disastrous events in the Bajoran system, Captain Benjamin Sisko must confront the consequences of the recent choices he has made in his life. At the same time, the United Federation of Planets and its Khitomer Accords allies have come to the brink of war with the Typhon Pact. While factions within the Pact unsuccessfully used the recent gestures of goodwill—the opening of borders and a joint Federation-Romulan exploratory mission—to develop quantum-slipstream drive, they have not given up their goals. Employing a broad range of assets, from Romulus to Cardassia, from Ab-Tzenketh to Bajor, they embark on a dangerous new plan to acquire the technology they need to take control of the Alpha and Beta Quadrants. While UFP President Bacco and Romulan Praetor Kamemor work feverishly to reestablish peace, Captains Sisko, Jean-Luc Picard, and Ro Laren stand on the front lines of the conflict...even as a new danger threatens the Bajoran wormhole as it once more becomes a flashpoint of galactic history. Brinkmanship The Venette Convention has always remained independent, but it is about to become the flashpoint for a tense military standoff between the two power blocs now dominating interstellar space—the United Federation of Planets and the recently formed Typhon Pact. The Venetan government turns to the Typhon Pact’s Tzenkethi Coalition for protection in the new order, and has agreed to allow three of their supply bases for Tzenkethi use. But these bases—if militarized—would put Tzenkethi weapons unacceptably close to Federation, Cardassian, and Ferengi space. While Captain Ezri Dax and the crew of the U.S.S. Aventine are sent to investigate exactly what is happening at one of the Venette bases, Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the U.S.S. Enterprise are assigned to a diplomatic mission sent to the Venette homeworld in order to broker a mutually acceptable resolution. But the Cardassian delegates don’t seem particularly keen on using diplomacy to resolve the situation, which soon spirals out of control toward all-out war. . .

    Afraid of being thrown into an isolation chamber, Michael goes home, but quickly falls violently ill. By the time he recovers and returns to work scary things are happening. Everyone who has come into contact with that patient is being systematically killed. On the run, he accidentally infects a woman living in the shadows of the underworld. She becomes ill as well, but survives. Then they begin feeling younger-and younger. Why would the government want to suppress something like this? After barely escaping federal gunmen, the two of them set out to discover what kind of infection they are harboring even though it might mean the end of their freedom.

    More than 1,100 pages of epic space opera action and adventure with unique heroes and twists that you won’t see coming. Over 1.5 Million Page Reads and counting! From book one: No-one comes in peace. Every being in the galaxy wants something, and is willing to take it by force. The Hedalt were no different. They came from the distant reaches of the galaxy to wage war. Their fleet wanted to take Earth for its prize, but we were ready. We were stronger. For years, we fought them, ship-to-ship, until we scattered their forces and drove them back. Pursuing the Hedalt fleet to their home world, we delivered the decisive blow. We nuked their planet and wiped them out for good. Or so we thought. For decades, Earth Fleet sent out Deep Space Recon missions to scour the galaxy and clean up the remnants of the Hedalt Empire. Eventually, we found only ghosts – empty outposts and long-dead colonies. But, close to the edge of known space, I – Captain Taylor Ray – and my crew are about to make a discovery that will change everything. The war isn’t over. The war has yet to begin. The series includes: The Contingency The Way Station Gambit Rise of Nimrod Fleet Earth’s Last War

    Rowling (the HARRY POTTER series), Darren Shan (CIRQUE DU FREAK), R.L. Stine (the GOOSEBUMPS series), and Stephen King (IT)! Volume Three in the PETER AND THE MONSTERS series! Follow the adventures started in PETER AND THE VAMPIRES (Volume One) and PETER AND THE WEREWOLVES (Volume Two)!Tragedy has struck Peter’s best friend Dill. In his effort to help, Grandfather might have actually made things worse. But help is on the way in the form of a new ally, and important information surfaces that might explain the Curse now haunting Peter and his family. In this volume, Peter battles more supernatural mayhem, including:A scientist who pieces together a family of monstrous creations…A pack of small creatures that kill the local baker, and plan to make Peter their next victim…Peter’s own dark side, which rears its ugly head in a violent rampage…A mysterious ‘snow demon’ out of Native American legend that menaces Peter on a ski trip…And a couple of ‘walking dead’ who try to put Peter in the morgue during a visit to the hospital. The PETER AND THE VAMPIRES series is for teens and adults who, when they were kids, were looking for stories that kicked butt. The protagonist might be young, but the stories are dark, funny, and edge-of-your-seat suspenseful.PETER AND THE FRANKENSTEIN is the third in an ongoing series that includes PETER AND THE VAMPIRES (Volume 1) and PETER AND THE WEREWOLVES (Volume 2). This book is 150,000 words (450+ pages) and contains some mild language, violence, and scary situations.

    

    They were wrong. On October 15th, humanity went missing. A handful of scattered survivors wake to find the world empty of friends, family, and neighbors. Among them, a child searches for his family. A special agent turned enemy of the state survives a fiery plane crash with no way to reach his daughter. A serial killer discovers he’s no longer at the top of the food chain. Now these strangers must find the strength inside them to weather the new world. But they are not alone. In the absence of civilization, a new threat emerges. In the stillness, it waits and watches, preying on their weakness. Their only hope is to find more survivors, rise above their fear, and face the oncoming darkness.

    This trilogy continues from the previous one, and brings a firm conclusion to the series.Dark Space IV: RevengeDARK SPACE WON THE BATTLE Humanity has just won a major victory against the invading Sythians--the first victory in the history of the war. The savage Gors have joined forces with Dark Space, and now for the first time since the invasion, it looks like the tide is turning. But the Sythians weren't defeated. Humanity just bloodied their noses. Now they know where Dark Space is, and they are coming back for revenge.THE WAR STILL RAGES Admiral Hoff Heston is secretly terrified of what's coming, but he's lulling people into a false sense of security. He needs to buy time. The people of Dark Space are not as alone as they think. AND EVERYTHING IS ABOUT TO CHANGE Avilon, a lost sector of humans, has remained hidden and untouched by the Sythian invasion. No one knew they even existed, except for Admiral Heston. Now he must send a mission to contact them and get help, but what humanity finds there will change more than just the course of the war against the alien invaders . . . it will change the very nature of their existence.Other books included in this set:Dark Space V: AvilonSynopsis omitted due to spoilers.Dark Space VI: ArmageddonSynopsis omitted due to spoilers.

    But when sinister messages start to suggest an unimaginable secret in his past, Jonah and his sister, Katherine, are swept up in an adventure greater than time itself. Because Jonah isn’t just any kid—he’s one of the famous missing children from history. And if he and his friends can’t fix the past, then the future—and the present—are in grave danger…Ideal for newcomers to the series and loyal fans alike, this collection of the first five books in The Missing series includes Found, Sent, Sabotaged, Torn, and Caught.