Try, "I was overcome by the urge to alphabetize my pets," or perhaps a simple "Had ninja trouble." Steve has used both these excuses, and here they are hilariously illustrated. He also has claimed to have become temporarily feral, accidentally sold himself on eBay, and gotten stuck in a romantic montage. An illustration of Steve with Darth Vader accompanies the inarguable excuse "I was seduced by the Dark Side." He also gets lost in his duvet, and discovers he has a rather unusual superpower.

    When it comes to Indian folk tales, the country of diverse religions, languages and cultures has a complete range of tales and short stories. This collection brings together stories of sacrifice, courage, might, deceit and righteousness that give a panoramic view of the rich cultural heritage of India. Read, absorb and enjoy this wonderful collection of all-time tales.

    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: First Among Sequels, the Eyre Affair, Lost in a Good Book, the Well of Lost Plots, Something Rotten, the Big Over Easy, the Fourth Bear, Shades of Grey 1: the Road to High Saffron. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: First Among Sequels is an alternate history, comic fantasy novel by the British author Jasper Fforde. It is the fifth Thursday Next novel, first published on 5 July 2007 in the UK, and on 24 July 2007 in the USA. The novel follows the continuing adventures of Thursday Next in her fictional version of Swindon and in the BookWorld, and is the first of a new four-part Nextian series. The title was originally announced, at the end of Fforde's novel The Fourth Bear, as The War of the Words. In order to save the future, undercover SpecOps investigator Thursday Next attempts to convince her son Friday to join the ChronoGuard. To complicate matters, she'll have to deal with renegade apprentices, ruthless corporations, and a sting operation from the Cheese Enforcement Agency. The title First Among Sequels was met with stiff resistance from Fforde's publishers because it had 'sequel' in the title, and it was felt that telegraphing the 'sequelness' of the book might be a bad move. It was decided, however, to capitalise on the fact that this was a series - a sort of 'Have you discovered Thursday Next yet?' approach to marketing. First Among Sequels is the first part of a new four-part Thursday Next series, which is reported to be continued with One of our Thursdays is Missing in 2009. The title is a parody of First Among Equals, which is the title of a best-selling Jeffrey Archer novel, but also comes from the English translation of the Latin phrase primus inter pares. It is traditionally used to describe the position...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=602795

    I am Brandon Thighmaster. Monk. Hero. Inspiration. I enjoy crunching, squats, looking at myself, looking at other people looking at myself, and long walks on the beach. I also do adventures and stuff, and I guess you can read about them here. But enough about you, let's talk about me. Brandon Thighmaster."

    She is always the first on the dancefloor and the very last to stop boogying. She has never tried to dress like a Parisian, never followed advice on what not to wear, and certainly has never tried to tone down her natural pinkness; she knows he is perfect just the way she is. And even when life throws Flamingo a curveball, she is always ready to embrace the unknown and jump straight in.A gorgeous little gift book of motivational sayings and hilarious axioms, Be a Flamingo is a perfect pink pick-me-up gift for a friend who needs a confidence boost, or great as an impulse self-purchase when you feel you need to start tooting your own horn a little louder. Because we could all do worse than taking a leaf out of Flamingo's book.

    She has a bad attitude and she does what she wants and when she wants and does not care who she hurts in the process. She has everything that she could possibly want in life, but she feels like she is missing one thing, the love of her biological father, Tristan “Triple T” Thompson. Briana turns to different men looking for that love and affection that she has never gotten from Trip. Will that missing love and affection cause Briana to turn to a man who does not have her best interest at heart?Shanice Miller and Briana are sisters and they are nothing alike. Shanice has always been in her sister’s shadow and she hates it. Shanice starts to hang out with a different crowd and starts doing things that she knows no one would be proud of. She meets someone who she believes has her best interest at heart and will help her get her life back on track. Will he help her get her life back on track or will he lead her down a path of more destruction.Jaslyn Roberson is the quiet and rational thinker of the group. Jaslyn find herself in an abusive relationship and along with home issues she sometimes doesn’t know which way is up. After an tragic event she seeks solace into the arms of another man. Jaslyn can sense that this new guy is keeping a secret from her, but can’t quite put her finger on it.

    Page has certain operant conditioning and vaguely remembered instructionsthat will kick in at certain points as you get to know each other.Here is what you need to know at this point:I am the ‘Old Page’; she is the ‘New Page’.

    When their van breaks down outside of Morganton, North Carolina, the group decides to hike up nearby Brown Mountain while they wait for the repairs to be finished. Lizzie’s interest in nature prompts her to go on a walk by herself, hoping to get a glimpse of the legendary Brown Mountain Lights. When she unexpectedly encounters one, she naively reaches out to touch it and is thrown back in time to a place and lifestyle she comes to hate—the Antebellum South. Lizzie is taken in by three sisters who are healers. With them, she is able to put her knowledge as a medical student to good use. She finds a trusted friend in Abbie, the youngest sister, and through a budding romance with the son of a plantation owner is drawn into the dangerous world of the Underground Railroad. With a bloody and violent war looming on the horizon, at a time when women are looked upon as less than equal, Lizzie struggles to accept the differences that surround her every day in this new and challenging world. Wanting nothing more than to return home, she and Abbie continually search for the light Lizzie travelled through, hoping it will take her back to her time. But if she finds it, will she decide to stay or go?

    At 11, he looks big and strong for his age. His kind mother, Geeta is a rural Indian archetype: the overworked, stressed-out, barely-keeping-it- together single mother. His father is in prison for multiple robbery cases. The villagers are cold and overbearing, and his schooldays are made hellish by bullies. If this wasn’t enough, he has nightmares and uncanny callings from the age-old monstrous Peepal tree that lays on his way to school. The legend is a monster called Brahma Rakshas, living under this tree, for years unknown to people, lures kids with the black devil fruits and then makes them wrestle until one dies.And, one stormy night, the legend comes true when Brahma Rakshas meets Sarja. Set in a fictional village of Deogiri; a small haven of human civilization, away from the din of city life, this story is an adventure ride filled with riddles and monster wrestling.

    novels. Follow Agent Ward as he searches for the clues that link a missing chemist to Sirens, Strippers and Snake Monsters in The Curious Case of the Kidnapped Chemist.Dodge the walking dead in Zombie Apocalypse Now when the eponymous undead attack Parliament and ... er ... Hull.Finally, thrill at the latest adventure Do Dragons Dream of Burning Sheep in which no sheep are burned, but dragons just might dream.

    A chronicle of the adventures and misadventures of the Doonesbury character, Uncle Duke, in trouble spots throughout the world, is accompanied by a five-inch action figure complete with cigarette holder, Uzi, martini glass, and bourbon bottle.

    You are clearly a fan of this legendary game that goes by the name of MINECRAFT! I encourage you to take a leap of faith and download this great and funny comedy book, which You wont regret! “MINECRAFT: Funny clean Minecraft jokes and memes for Children. (Minecraft, Minecraft Secrets, Minecraft Stories, Minecraft Books For Kids, Minecraft Books, Minecraft Comics, Minecraft Xbox)” is a great choice for anyone with a sense of humor, especially a fan of this great and iconic game! You will find great PICTURES with funny memes, hilarious jokes and wise quotes all in one place Let the laughs begin…

    The device had the power to make anyone that it was aimed at do the bidding of the holder. What sounded like a unique opportunity for Dax actually becomes more trouble than he bargains for as people around him keep coming after him and the device.

    One morning he misses his bus when he stops to put a strange caterpillar in a matchbox. As the bus passes he’s shocked to spot himself inside. Like Schrödinger’s Cat in the famous quantum thought experiment, the caterpillar's spawned parallel possibilities. This comic novel explores Graham’s search for a better life among the various overlapping alternatives.Another clone, Grim Dupeint, is a loathsome international arms dealer. Graham infiltrates Grim’s corporation, then embezzles cash for charity. When a furious Grim realises, Graham must act fast. And right now he's acting like fish food.Graham launches upon a new lifestyle (and sex life) as he dons the designer suits of power. But sinister figures soon see through Graham’s clothing. Now Graham’s under attack from the corporation, the police, his ex-wife’s private detective, and an infuriatingly pompous water-colourist who Graham might have been if he’d gone to art college rather than business school. To survive (and steal the artist’s wonderful woman) Graham needs to find hidden resources. By definition Dopplegraham’s equally resourceful. Bugger...Schrödinger's Caterpillar - a stupid book for brainy people!

    When he catches a flock of sparrows, the king sparrow promises to reward him richly if he sets the birds free. Bhola agrees and is rewarded with a cow whose dung is pure gold!A wandering sanyasi comes to a village. The richest man refuses him alms but his brother who is poor gives him food and shelter. The sanyasi gives the poor man a magic flute. But his jealous brother cannot bear to see his good fortune.In these witty folk tales from Madhya Pradesh and Karnataka, kindness and wisdom are always rewarded.