One of them has to get out. For good...It is the summer of 1999. Bic (half-Irish, half-Scots) is eking out a living selling crêpes to the hordes descending on Greenwich market. With one severed ear, two bizarre deaths and the arrest of his dog for civil disobedience, Bic's year hasn't exactly been going to plan.But when raven-haired Roisin takes the stall opposite his, things seem to be looking up - if Bic can just get past her over-protective brothers. That is, until Bic wakes up the-morning-after-the-night-before, in his clothes, in Edinburgh, to find he's the UK's Most Wanted Man - on the run and with fourteen murders to his name... 'Very fresh, very funny' COLIN BATEMAN'A huge and exciting plot...I loved the twist at the end' Goodreads'Great story and full of humour' Goodreads

    

    What Michael doesn’t expect, is to be put in charge of a group of offenders and sent to a remote location in the Sierra Nevada Mountains in Spain to teach them survival skills as part of their rehabilitation programme. But Michael knows nothing at all about survival skills. He was sort of in the SAS, yes, but his shining record on the “Escape and Evasion” courses was more a testament to his computer skills than his ability to catch wildlife and barbecue it over an impromptu fire. Basically, he was the SAS’s techy nerd and only achieved that position as a result of a bet with a fellow hacker. Facing a stark choice between starvation or returning home to serve out their sentences, the group of offenders under Michael’s supervision soon realise that the only way to survive is to use their own unique set of skills – the kind of skills that got them arrested in the first place.

    Drop him into a ghastly Kenya prep school in the middle of Rider Haggard country. A school where cricketing news comes by carrier pigeon, leopards are assaulted with a red-hot poker, and runaway boys are hunted down with spearmen and a pack of foxhounds... For Martin Riddle, the experience is unforgettable. For the riding mistress, Lady Bullivant, it is all part of the day's work. And for the headmaster, a disreputable ex-Guards officer, it is simply a means of staving off bankruptcy for a few more weeks. As for the Masai, tennis may be on the curriculum at Haggard Hall, but midnight meetings with naked warriors definitely are not! 'The funniest book I have read since David Lodge's Small World' - Sunday Times 'Wickedly funny' - Daily Mail 'Less savage than Evelyn Waugh, Best is every bit as sharp... an immensely enjoyable book' - Evening Standard 'Very good entertainment' - Sir Alec Guinness (Sunday Times book of the year) Nicholas Best's books have been translated into many languages. He was the Financial Times's fiction critic for ten years and was long-listed in 2010 for the Sunday Times-EFG Bank 30,000 award, the biggest short story prize in the world. For more details, see www.nicholasbest.co.uk

    How did we ever find time to go to work. New to Caravanning. Its mishaps. Its pleasures. Its fun. Susie and Jack take early retirement and end up biting off more than they can chew. An unexpected inheritance changes their lives forever.

    FICTION: Poolside at their motel, the Fab Four fell into conversation with a snappy-dressing local named Bert the Shirt, who listened as the band worked out a harmony to the most beautiful song he’d ever heard--and wouldn’t hear again for over half a century. FACT: That night, the Beatles played an unannounced free concert in the motel bar. Everyone was welcome. Local musicians showed up with guitars and keyboards, and had the once-in-a-lifetime experience of jamming with the Beatles till 4 am. This legendary event has forever after been known to Key West locals as THE PARADISE GIG.FICTION: Next day, hung over and exhausted, the Beatles left for the airport, having somehow lost a stained and battered notebook that held a priceless stash of unrecorded songs. NOW CUT TO THE PRESENT: A beautiful woman is doing a yoga headstand on a Key West beach when she’s abducted by a pair of thugs. An aspiring young singer is offered a recording deal that seems a bit too good to be true. Bad things happen to a couple of one-hit wonders…And old Bert hears a new song that is hauntingly familiar, but that he can’t quite place.Could it possibly be the same song he’d heard at poolside so many years before? Could it be that all the present mayhem circles back through the decades to THE PARADISE GIG? Could the precious, even sacred, Beatles notebook possibly turn up after all these years? Could Bert be the hero who would rediscover that stash of unheard songs for music lovers everywhere—and save a young singer’s life in the process? With Nacho, his intrepid Chihuahua, at his side, and with no one but bumbling detective Pete Amsterdam for an ally, the undaunted Bert the Shirt sets out through the Florida haze to piece it all together, learning along the way how much the world has changed—and how much it has not. In equal parts suspenseful and nostalgic, funny and romantic, this time-bending caper celebrates the power of music and the many tricks of memory, the joys of youth and the comforts of age, and the free and funky spirit of Key West.

    His commentaries on “All Things Considered” and his radio spots for Motel 6 have delighted millions, but he’s never been funnier than in this, his second collection of casual essays. Here are further musings ont he everyday joys and embarrassments of being a husband, father, citizen, and breadwinner by the author of As Far As You Can Go Without a Passport. Fans will be comforted by the familiarity of this return visit to Bodett country. Those new to his work will discover one of the freshest, friendliest voices among writers of humor today.

    Every Friday night Ruckus and his roommate Fred sneak out of Shady Grove Home for the Mentally Insane for a ride in their orderly’s convertible. A trip to the used book store and the Dairy Queen is Ruckus’s one little routine among the chaos of pissing all over the lunch trays. There is nothing routine about Apple, another Shady Grove resident who wants to go joyriding with the boys. It quickly becomes obvious she has bigger plans than getting an ice cream cone— plans that could land them in jail or even worse. When their lives are threatened by three angry ex-cons and a crooked cop, it’s up to Ruckus to get his friends back to Shady Grove in one piece. But first, they all need to face reality and confront their tragic pasts. It doesn’t take long for Ruckus to realize that if Apple doesn’t drive him totally nuts, she just may be the one to help restore his sanity."Driving Me Nuts! will surely tickle your funny bone!" Five Stars and Reviewer Top Pick - Diana Coyle, Night Owl Reviews

    Elaine Ambrose boldly writes her latest kiss-my-attitude book as a sassy sequel to Midlife Cabernet. Ambrose shares her festive life experiences and career-crushing anecdotes as she explains how to remain relevant after age 50, why grown children make great travel companions, and how to balance midlife without falling over. Ambrose notes that her feminine mystique sprung a leak after years of competing as a funny female in a serious male job market. Now the hard work is done, and she invites midlife women to join her for Happy Hour.

    Dreams of rose-covered cottages, rolling pins and two parents living with their own biological child were well and truly shattered.But now Juliette is engaged to her childhood sweetheart, Alex Dalton, and everything is looking up. Juliette can’t wait to marry Alex and live happily ever after at the Dalton Estate.The trouble is, Juliette isn’t the only one getting married this year. Her ex-partner, Nick, is getting married too and is trying his hardest to sabotage Juliette’s wedding day. Plus, there’s the small matter of the global Covid-19 pandemic.Will Juliette get the wedding of her dreams? Or will Nick succeed in ruining yet another wedding day?Wednesday 24th JuneAnother meeting with our wedding planner today – this time about party favours.Cressida showed us cute little hangover kits, personalised wine glasses, mini champagne bottles, chocolate truffle boxes, watches, toiletries, all sorts. There was even a monogrammed rum and Coca Cola can and a little treasure chest of sugared almonds, should we choose a Caribbean destination wedding.When Nick and I got married, all we thought about was drink, food and the church, in that order.Who knew there was so much sparkle and magic in the wedding world?Perfect for Jill Mansell and Unmumsy Mum fans. Can be read as a stand-along novel or as part of the series. Download this Kindle Unlimited comedy as part of your subscription.Editorial Reviews for Suzy K Quinn‘Suzy K Quinn is the literary equivalent of hot chocolate …’ – Liza Foreman, New York Times journalist'Suzy K Quinn is a born storyteller' -- Erin Kelly, bestselling author of He Said, She Said.'I read Suzy’s latest novel in one sitting, with a break for sleep. This does not usually happen. It's a terrific read.' -- Fay Weldon, author of the Lives and Loves of a She Devil.'Unputdownable. I was completely absorbed.' -- Julia Crouch, author of Cuckoo'A seriously skilful page turner ... don't read it on the beach unless you want sunburn.' -- Kate Harrison, author of The Secret Shopper's RevengeThe writing is skilful and vivid and the tension doesn't let up. Suzy K Quinn is one to watch.' -- Julia Gregson, author of East of the Sun“Funny, real, honest, and raw—this is an excellent book about the roller-coaster that is being a mum.” —Charlene Wedgner“Books like this, books that share honest and realistic experiences are a breath of fresh air.” —Diary of a Book Mum“I just love its honesty/real-ness and the way it ends on such a high note helped me to realize what a privilege it is to be a parent.” —Busy Mama Book Club“The reason I loved this book so much was the honesty of it! Unlike other parenting books nothing is sugar coated! This is Motherhood!! You will find yourself relating to almost everything she writes!” —B Club Betty“Would highly recommend this book for anyone looking for a fun and honest read about parenting.” —Em Digs Books“It’s funny, it’s quick, short chapters, all of these things are really important, easy read, when you’re a sleep deprived new mother. I really wish I had it when I was a new mum five years ago.” —The Motherload Book Club“A real breath of fresh air and a massive reality check for when you’re trying to be the perfect mum.” —Mrs Cooke’s Books“Had me in fits of laughter…I really do applaud Suzy for being so honest …She really does tell it like it is, which is that parenthood is a challenge but it’s totally worth it!” —Kirsty’s Book Buying AddictionAbout the AuthorSuzy is a bestselling British fiction author. Her books have sold nearly 1 million copies and been translated into nine different languages.

    A gay birthday clown lamenting the loss of his beloved dog. An amateur veterinarian keeping watch over his suicidal daughter. And a bikini model with a barnacle stuck to her butt cheek. These are just a few of the characters who populate the quirky, offbeat world of IF YOU LIVED HERE YOU'D ALREADY BE HOME a world that feels at once alien and strangely familiar. In these twenty-one brief, funny stories, John Jodzio documents his characters disappointment, frustration, and longing for a home that seems forever out of reach. By turns bleak and hopeful, cruel and tender, this is an exciting literary debut by a writer to watch, a writer with a unique and compelling voice. You may think you've read enough stories about penniless gay clowns who can't get over the loss of a dog, but I assure you you have not. John Jodzio is the best kind of modern fiction writer: a thematic traditionalist who feels totally new. --Chuck Klosterman, author of SEX, DRUGS, AND COCOA PUFFS

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

    At fifteen, he took a job washing dishes in a local comedy club—just so he could watch endless stand-up for free. At sixteen, he was hosting a show for his local high school radio station in Syosset, Long Island—a show that consisted of Q&As with his comedy heroes, from Garry Shandling to Jerry Seinfeld. They talked about their careers, the science of a good joke, and their dreams of future glory (turns out, Shandling was interested in having his own TV show one day and Steve Allen had already invented everything).Thirty years later, Apatow is still that same comedy nerd—and he’s still interviewing funny people about why they do what they do.Sick in the Head gathers Apatow’s most memorable and revealing conversations into one hilarious, wide-ranging, and incredibly candid collection that spans not only his career but his entire adult life. Here are the comedy legends who inspired and shaped him, from Mel Brooks to Steve Martin. Here are the contemporaries he grew up with in Hollywood, from Spike Jonze to Sarah Silverman. And here, finally, are the brightest stars in comedy today, many of whom Apatow has been fortunate to work with, from Seth Rogen to Amy Schumer. And along the way, something kind of magical happens: What started as a lifetime’s worth of conversations about comedy becomes something else entirely. It becomes an exploration of creativity, ambition, neediness, generosity, spirituality, and the joy that comes from making people laugh.Loaded with the kind of back-of-the-club stories that comics tell one another when no one else is watching, this fascinating, personal (and borderline-obsessive) book is Judd Apatow’s gift to comedy nerds everywhere.Praise for Sick in the Head“I can’t stop reading it. . . . I don’t want this book to end.”—Jimmy Fallon “An essential for any comedy geek.”—Entertainment Weekly “Fascinating . . . a collection of interviews with many of the great figures of comedy in the latter half of the twentieth century.” —The Washington Post “Open this book anywhere, and you’re bound to find some interesting nugget from someone who has had you in stitches many, many times.”—Janet Maslin, The New York Times “An amazing read, full of insights and connections both creative and interpersonal.”—The New Yorker “Fascinating and revelatory.” —Chicago Tribune “For fans of stand-up, Sick in the Head is a Bible of sorts.”—Newsweek“These are wonderful, expansive interviews—at times brutal, at times breathtaking—with artists whose wit, intelligence, gaze, and insights are all sharp enough to draw blood.”—Michael Chabon “Anyone even remotely interested in comedy or humanity should own this book. It is hilarious and informative and it contains insightful interviews with the greatest comics, comedians, and comediennes of our time. My representatives assure me I will appear in a future edition.”—Will FerrellFrom the Hardcover edition.

    Funny and touching, these monologues from original live broadcasts of A Prairie Home Companion focus on the winter season.Includes: "Guys on Ice," "The Christmas Story Re-told," and "Storm Home."

    It premiered 37 years ago, in 1973, and, after 31 series it finally came to an end last year – even though all its original protagonists – Compo, Foggy, even Nora Batty – are now dead. Remarkably, for a series of such longevity and international appeal, it is all about elderly people, has little action or plot, and is set and filmed in and around the small Yorkshire town of Holmfirth. Now, Andrew Vine, the deputy editor of Yorkshire’s daily newspaper, has written the definitive history of this television phenomenon. It covers the show’s inauspicious beginnings, with low ratings, its endless reinvention as participants like Bill Owen, Michael Bates, Brian Wilde and Kathy Staff retired or died, the appearance of a string of guest stars from John Cleese and Norman Wisdom to Thora Hird and Russ Abbott (both of whom soon found themselves fixtures in the cast), and the ingenious plot contrivances as the protagonists became too old and frail to attempt any of the slapstick stunts with runaway prams – indeed any outdoor action. Holmfirth is now a year-round tourist attraction, and endless repeats and new DVD box sets will ensure a readership for this book for years to come.