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Life and Other Near-Death Experiences
Camille Pagán - 2015
Despite her new sunny locale, her plans go awry when she finds that she can’t quite outrun the past or bring herself to face an unknowable future. Every day of tropical bliss may be an invitation to disaster, but with her twin brother on her trail and a new relationship on the horizon, Libby is determined to forget about fate. Will she risk it all to live—and love—a little longer?From critically acclaimed author Camille Pagán comes a hilarious and hopeful story about a woman choosing between a “perfect” life and actually living.
The Complete By the Sea Series Boxed Set
Antoinette Stockenberg - 2014
Book One: TESS. From the wild decadence of late nineteenth-century Newport comes the tale of Tess Moran, a beautiful Irish housemaid in one of the grand summer "cottages," who makes a dark bargain with a man of commanding wealth — and falls in love in the bargain. Book Two: AMANDA. Marrying American money to an English title is a tradition of its own; but Amanda Fain, a brash heiress with money to burn, has a fondness for Bolsheviks and bootleg liquor that makes her an unlikely match for the reluctant, ironic, and impoverished English aristocrat Geoffrey Seton, who has been ordered to America to find someone who can pay the bills for the family estate back home. Book Three: LAURA. While the Great Depression grinds relentlessly on, Laura Andersson, a Midwestern farm girl with an improbable love of the sea, embarks on a bold adventure that promises riches but delivers passion, one that threatens all she holds dear. Book Four: THE HEIRS is the dramatic conclusion to the four-book series BY THE SEA. Economic hard times are a distant memory in high-flying, recent-day Newport, home of the oldest and most prestigious trophy in the world, the Holy Grail of sport--the America's Cup. Here, the descendants of Tess, Amanda and Laura play out their destinies, their paths crossing in unforeseen ways: Mavis Moran, Neil Powers, his daughter Quinta, and America's Cup skipper Alan Seton all find themselves caught in a web of mystery, sabotage, and conflicting desires. "A quality novel [that] contains many of those little epiphanies, those moments of recognition. [Part 1, TESS,] is what makes Stockenberg's book stand out from the rash of novels on class conflicts between Irish servants and their Yankee masters." —Providence Journal
The Heart Beats in Secret
Katie Munnik - 2020
With her husband away at war, there is no one to protect her from small town suspicions and she must learn to keep her secrets to herself.Three decades later her daughter Felicity leaves their life behind for Montreal, glad to flee the unknowns that have plagued her so far. But her personal battles are nothing compared to the unrest here, where a commune in rural Quebec and a child of her own might be her saviours.The child grows up to be Pidge, a woman surprised to find that she will inherit her grandmother's Scottish house, yet curious about the ingredients that make up a family's history. Amidst the flying feathers of the wild goose that stalks the kitchen, Pidge will find unexpected answers to the questions that have beset these women through the years.The Heart Beats in Secret is a powerful story of three women and the secrets and bonds that have defined them. It explores the wilderness of the heart, the secrets concealed with every beat and the many ways it is possible to be a mother.
Fat Chance
R.J. Leahy - 2013
It's an ok job, but it isn't as exciting as most people think, and that's fine by him. He makes it a rule not to get involved in active police cases or in any case where people are likely to get hurt—especially him. So why does the mob suddenly want him dead? Sure it’s all a mistake, but dead from a mistake is still dead.Taking advice from his friend, The Juke, he starts on a cross country drive to LA (what can I tell you, he has a few phobias, and flying is just one of them), and makes it as far as Mystic Falls, New Mexico before the borrowed Mercedes conks out. Mystic Falls? Think Green Acres—without the sophistication.All he had to do was lie low and wait for the car to be fixed. A good plan too. It might have worked if only the local "character" hadn’t turned up missing, with him as the prime suspect. Now if he ever wants to get out of this sleepy desert asylum, he’s going to have to find her. Fat chance.
Reinventing Mona
Jennifer Coburn - 2005
That's when the realization hit: I'm young, I'm rich (thanks to a hefty inheritance), and I'm boring. Not "needs a little zip" boring, either. More like "mustard stain on a Sears tweed couch" drab. French's in a squeeze bottle, that's me. But suddenly I have Grey Poupon aspirations! Things are gonna change-starting now...
Building a better mantrap...
First things first: Exercise. Carrot juice. Straight hair. Whiter teeth. Clothes that fit (I have breasts? Who knew?) But wait-there's more. Life's kicked me around a bit, and I've been nursing my wounds for too long. I'm finally ready to take a chance on love with the perfect guy. He's handsome. He's smart. He's reliable. He's my CPA. Problem is, I'm clueless about winning him over. It's time to call in an expert. It's time to call in The Dog.
Down, boy.
Mike "The Dog" Dougherty is a man's man. A guy's guy. Okay, he's a chauvinist pig, and his sty is "The Dog House," a testosterone-charged column in Maximum for Him magazine. On one hand, I abhor all he stands for. On the other hand, who better to coach me? So here I am. Learning the complex unspoken language of the American male (Talk, bad. Sex, good.); trying exciting new things (Stripping lessons are empowering. Really.); falling for Mike. Uh oh. But the Mike I'm getting to know is different from The Dog. And the Mona I'm becoming isn't quite who I expected, either. This whole makeover scheme is getting crazier by the minute. But "crazy" beats "boring"...right? Jennifer Coburn is an award-winning journalist who has written for magazines and newspapers in the United States, Canada and Australia. She lives in San Diego with her husband, William and their daughter, Katie. Jennifer desperately wishes she had Mona's unlimited cash, beachfront estate and singing voice. When she's not living vicariously through chick-lit characters, Jennifer runs a public relations business which serves non-profit organizations and small businesses in southern California. She is also the coordinator of the Del Cerro Soccer Moms League and coach of the real-life Kickin' Chicks, the best seven-year-old girls to ever tear up suburban soccer fields.
Breaking Barriers to Your Heart
Monica Walters - 2019
After being hurt countless times by men, she shut her innermost feelings and desires off from men. Focusing on being happy with herself was her main agenda. Having a great job at the federal prison and owning her independence, Shana has everything. However, when she meets Red Anderson at the Houston Livestock Show, everything changes. Life has finally become worth living for Craig 'Red' Anderson. Having a horrible childhood, then growing up a ward of the state wasn't exactly a cake walk. After a chance encounter with a cowboy, his life is changed forever. Channeling his energy into learning to be the best steer wrestler in the world, Red Anderson is able to push out all the negativity in his life. Honing his skills and learning from the best, Legend Semien, Red becomes a force to deal with in the rodeo arena, but in life, another force brings him to his knees. Shana Albert comes in Red's life like a whirlwind and swallows him whole. Fighting demons of their past, it seems that Red and Shana face drama at every turn and difficulties of that drama threaten to tear them apart. Both being stubborn, opinionated individuals, causes unnecessary rifts that put their relationship on the line. Will Red and Shana finally figure out what loving one another is all about? Or will they decide to cut their losses and chalk it up as a lesson learned?
Flight of the Cuckoo
K.L. Smith - 2014
This is the dark but humourous tale of Sarah Pemberton, who is not a happy woman. A down to earth, inventive soul who despises her stuck up pompous husband Neil, who believes he is much more intelligent and important than she is. When he refuses her a divorce and emotionally blackmails her into staying with him by threatening to take custody of their daughter, she's decides to make life a little more entertaining for herself, by subtly torturing him at every available opportunity. Creative and adaptable by nature, with a wicked sense of humour, she comes up with more and more ways to ridicule him, without him ever knowing she has a hand in it. ...."During 1993-1994 amongst other things, I cooked him a meat pie with pedigree chum; Stole his car more times than I can count; put chilli powder in his underpants, sent a stripagram to his work (a fat one), and subscribed him to a gay porn mag! (Our paperboy avoided him like the plague after that.)"..... Finding accomplices in the form of her Aunt May, who lives in a crumbling old former hotel which was damaged during WWII, and May's two lodgers, a shy young hippy named Darren, along with his brother Matthew a former life model, they try to get rid of her husband by either 'Plan A', which consists of 'frame him for a crime so that he gets incarcerated', or 'Plan B' drive him to a nervous breakdown. Both plans are designed to discredit Neil in case of a custody battle for their daughter. There is only one little prerequisite for every little torturous idea though, and that is, IT HAS TO MAKE THEM LAUGH! Unbeknown to Sarah at first, she isn't the only one with a vendetta against her husband, his entire workforce hate his guts and exploit any opportunity to make him look bad. When plans A & B go disastrously wrong, Sarah and co set their sights on a new target, her in-laws. Interwoven throughout the story is the tale of Aunt May, the lynch pin of her little make shift family, who harbours secrets of her own that go back to the night the bomb fell on the east wing of the hotel. This is not a tale of a submissive woman suffering at the hands of abuse; this is the tale of a strong courageous woman having one last laugh at other people's expense. Contains very occasional strong language, and scenes that should not be repeated at home. Volume One of 'The Cuckoo' series
Farm Girl: Rural Life Humor from a Farmer's Daughter
Shanna Hatfield - 2014
Do you love a good laugh?
Enjoy clean rural humor from a farmer's daughter!
What happens when a farmer who’s been wishing for a boy ends up with a girlie-girl?Come along on the humorous and sometimes agonizing adventures from a childhood spent on a farm in the Eastern Oregon desert where one family raised hay, wheat, cattle, and a farm girl.
Psych's Guide to Crime Fighting for the Totally Unqualified
Shawn Spencer - 2013
GET PSYCHED!You've seen him solve unsolvable crimes, stop unstoppable killers, and consume unconsumable breakfast cereals. Now Shawn Spencer (James Roday), the mastermind from TV's hit show Psych, shows you how to become a fake psychic-and a real detective-using his patented methods of crime-fighting awesomeness. Along the way, he'll help you deal with whiny sidekicks (that means you, Gus), interfering police officers (including but not limited to Chief Vick, Lassiter, Henry, Buzz MacNab, and, ah, Juliet), and flashes of genius (like Evel Knievel's white leather jumpsuit). You'll discover:How to set up a totally bitchin' office, where Wednesday = Ladies NightHow to convince your sidekick that he's really your partnerHow to pick up women at a crime sceneShawn's Stakeout Survival Guide, including sensible snacksGus's Scream-and-Run Method for confronting criminalsUnsolved mysteries like who stole Shawn's Sno-Caps in third gradeThe ideal sleuth car: Magnum, P.I.'s Ferrari or Knight Rider's K.I.T.T.?Who should play Shawn in the movie of his life: Christian Bale or Don Cheadle?New names for detectives, such as Rico Solvé and Sherlock Homeboy. . . and way more cool stuff.Packed with insane pop quizzes, unbelievable case studies, unflattering photos, and off-the-chart charts, this all-in-one guide will have you solving crimes and catching crooks like a pro-even if you don't have a clue.
Where the Hell is Tesla?
Rob Dircks - 2015
COMEDY. LOVE STORY. AND OF COURSE... NIKOLA TESLA.I'll let Chip, the main character tell you more: "I found the journal at work. Well, I don't know if you'd call it work, but that's where I found it. It's the lost journal of Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest inventors and visionaries ever. Before he died in 1943, he kept a notebook filled with spectacular claims and outrageous plans. One of these plans was for an "Interdimensional Transfer Apparatus" - that allowed someone (in this case me and my friend Pete) to travel to other versions of the infinite possibilities around us. Crazy, right? But that's just where the crazy starts."CHIP'S OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction: the events depicted in the collection of emails did not happen. I have never been in contact with a covert government group attempting to suppress knowledge of the lost journal of Nikola Tesla. I have not been threatened with death if I divulge the secrets contained inside. They did not buy me this handsome jacket (oh crap, you're reading this - trust me, it looks great on me). They did not come to my place, and liquor me up, and offer to publish this book as a sci-fi comedy novel to throw the public off the trail of the real truth.Or did they?I'm kidding. Of course they didn't.Or did they?God, I can't keep my big mouth shut.
The Boy Next Door
Meg Cabot - 2002
Please be aware that according to our records you have not yet read this book. What exactly are you waiting for? This book has it all:HumorRomanceCooking tipsGreat DanesHeroine in perilDolphin-shaped driftwood sculpturesIf you wish to read about any of the above, please do not hesitate to head to the checkout counter, where you will be paired with a sales associate who will work to help you buy this book.We here at the New York Journal are a team. We win as a team, and lose as one as well. Don’t you want to be on the winning team?Sincerely, Human Resources Division New York JournalPlease note that failure to read this book may result in suspension or dismissal from this store.*********This e-mail is confidential and should not be used by anyone who is not the original intended recipient. If you have received this e-mail in error please inform the sender and delete it from your mailbox or any other storage mechanism.*********
Drop Dead Gorgeous
Lauren Landish - 2021
When men find out what I do, I'm lucky to hear “it was nice meeting you.”Until I almost accidentally kill Blake Hale with my car.Instead of being freaked out by me, he’s intrigued. No matter how much I try to scare him off, he keeps coming back for more. And for a follow-the-rules guy, he’s breaking them all… for me.We couldn’t be more different. He’s all goodness and light, with a brain that’s even sexier than his six pack. I’m danger in a pretty package, and no amount of knocking on wood is going to make the happily ever after he’s promising come true. But…With each word we exchange, my resolve weakens.With each heated look, he gets further into my soul.With every kiss, he consumes me by accepting me just as I am.I deal in death all day. He sells life… insurance. What could possibly go wrong when I start believing in Mr. Right?Drop Dead Gorgeous is a full-length meet-cute Romance... with a twist! It is a standalone.
The Convenient Marriage
Georgette Heyer - 1934
She also has a stammer. But when the enigmatic and eminently eligible Earl of Rule offers for her oldest sister’s hand – a match that makes financial and social sense, but would break her heart – it is Horatia who takes matters into her own impetuous hands. Can she save her family’s fortune? Or is she courting disaster? Witty, charming, elegant, and always delightful, Georgette Heyer – the undisputed queen of Regency Romance – brings the whole period to life with deft precision and glorious characters.
A Very Special 90210 Book: 100 Essential Episodes from TV's Hottest Zip Code
Tara Ariano - 2020
Join Tara Ariano and Sarah D. Bunting as they journey through the top 100 episodes of the series, covering everything from episode rankings to season overviews, character spotlights, and listicles. You’ll rediscover what you’ve forgotten and perhaps learn what you never knew. A Very Special 90210 Book is the perfect keepsake for every former teen fan (we know you’re out there) who wants to relive the good ol’ days at West Beverly.