Burroughs on crack!" - Thomas F. Monteleone, New York Times bestselling authorThe bacon storm is rolling in. We hear the grease and sugar beat against the roof and windows. The doughnut people are attacking. We press close together, forgetting for a moment that we hate each other. In Die You Doughnut Bastards, amputees, lonely young people, and talking animals struggle for survival against the freakish whims of nature. A typewriter made of fetuses is the source of woe for an expecting couple. A girl with a glass jaw hides an otherworldly secret. A demonic loner goes to a birthday party in Hell. You'll encounter a killer in a marsupial mask, a prison for anorexics, haunted pancakes, and a songwriter with a cult following.Surreal prose poems give way to personal accounts of alienation and modern love. Vegetarian narwhals are sold at the supermarket. And in a city that might be your own, zombie doughnuts are rising up. Kill yourself before they kill you. Or just kill yourself.Featuring original illustrations in the style of Daniel Johnston, Die You Doughnut Bastards is the latest way to drown, brought to you by Wonderland Book Award-winning author Cameron Pierce.

    It has one stoplight, one bar, and the one-and-only Trixie Mancinkus.Eleven years ago, Trixie graduated Harvard Law, turned down a job offer from one of the most prestigious law firms in Boston, and headed home to Whynot to open her own firm. Not only did she leave behind the big city, but she also left her boyfriend of three years. And just so we’re clear… that would be me.So what am I doing in Whynot at this very moment? It seems Trixie needs help with a legal case and for some insane reason, she called on me for assistance. I’ve been in town for five minutes, and I’m every bit as out of place as I feel. Trixie is all sweet, southern curves to my tailored suits and high-priced haircuts. It’s a culture clash of north versus south and about the only thing we have in common is our physical attraction to each other.But I have a new motto since coming to Whynot: When life hands you lemons, all you need is a little sex and sweet tea to make things better.

    But Markie and Jesse are unable to escape the attention of their new neighbor Mrs. Saint, an irascible, elderly New European woman who takes it upon herself, along with her ragtag group of “defectives,” to identify and fix the flaws in those around her, whether they want her to or not.What Markie doesn’t realize is that Mrs. Saint has big plans for the divorcée’s broken spirit. Soon, the quirky yet endearing woman recruits Markie to join her eccentric community, a world where both hidden truths and hope unite them. But when Mrs. Saint’s own secrets threaten to unravel their fragile web of healing, it’s up to Markie to mend these wounds and usher in a new era for the “defectives”—one full of second chances and happiness.

    This road trip wasn't to be just any road trip, but a very special one indeed. An adventure with an acutely specific purpose - to find our other halves. The peanut butter to our jelly. The i to our Phone. The stripper to our pole. If our romantic desires were a personal ad, they would read something like this: ** Two sassy women (Ages twenty-seven and forty-nine respectively - Ouch. Okay, ages twenty-seven and thirty - with nineteen years experience - respectively) seeking Alpha Males to love us with zeal and kiss us with skill. Gorgeous face and sexy, tattooed, hard body a must. If you aren't a dangerous bad*ss with the x-rated skills and virility to match, don't bother. Must be willing to protect us from danger, value our quirkiness, and keep your mouth shut when said quirkiness is what leads to said danger. Momma's boys named Dan Smith need not apply.** I know. It's a bit wordy. In fact, it would probably cost a fortune. Luckily, we're not ready for the personal ad. We're not that desperate... yet. This is my story. Warning: Some explicit language and sexual content.

    The air reeks of burning fuel; the rivers and lakes seethe with sulfur. In the shadows, evil men plot terror and beasts hunt the innocent. Out on the barren crags of the terraformed planet, there is nowhere to hide. No one to heed a call for help.No one, except Durango.

    That is unless Jeffrey, the mischievous Russian Blue cat who led her to the icy body in the first place, can flick his sleek gray tail at the final piece in the puzzle.

    Poignant and hilarious, in a vein similar to Jean Shepherd’s A Christmas Story and David Sedaris’s The Santaland Diaries, Lamb’s Christmas tale focuses on a feisty parochial school fifth grader named Felix Funicello—a distant cousin of the iconic Annette!

    Jump into a world of vampires and zombies. Book 1 is a vampire romance and book 2 is about an eighteen year old who fights for survival in a zombie-infested world. Lose your imagination in two wonderful fantasy stories. Book 1: CRUSH The Crush Saga Book Trailer: http://youtu.be/4eMF8KXEUc4 CRUSH Blurb: His precious touch could prove deadly… When Taylor Sparks moves from New York City to Big Bear Lake, California, her life is forever changed when she meets a hot guy with winter-blue eyes named Jesse. Their attraction is instant, the chemistry undeniable. But sadly, things aren't adding up. Taylor wonders what her 'crush' is hiding. When her new friend, Fred tells her his suspicions about Jesse being a paranormal creature, Taylor laughs. But when Fred turns up dead, she believes every warning he ever told her. Taylor is shocked to learn that Big Bear Lake isn't just glittering lakes, towering pines, and breathtaking mountains...there's more...way more than meets the eye. Will Taylor dive into a paranormal world she knows nothing about? To be with the one her heart can’t live without? Book 2: The Zombie Chronicles *This is a young adult book series. Each chronicle will feature Dean's struggles as he tries to survive in this new world. And thus the name, The Zombie Chronicles. I hope you enjoy this series, and thank you for giving book one a chance.* Welcome to the Apocalypse Infection Unleashed Series. Book 1 – The Zombie Chronicles Book 2 – Race for the Cure Book 3 – Deadly City Book 4 – Poisonous Serum Book 5 – Undead Nightmare Book 6 – Revelation Book 7 – Trepidation (due out in Jan.) Book 8 – Impact (due out in spring) Warning: Mild violence. For mature teens or older. BOOK TRAILER: http://youtu.be/ociUHiL1g70 Val was bitten by a zombie and now she’s scheduled for lethal injection. Breaking all the rules, eighteen year old, Dean Walters snags an experimental serum. But it can’t be tested until Val turns into a zombie: something authorities won’t allow. Her execution is scheduled to happen before transformation is complete, giving Dean only hours to break her out. When their helicopter crashes straight into the heart of Zombie Land, his rescue mission becomes a fight for survival…and giving up on Val is NOT an option.

    He's known her all his life. He's practically part of the family. There is nothing either of them could do to surprise the other at this point.Then she showed up in his bedroom in lingerie and asked him to take her V-card.Okay, that was a surprise.Aiden is pretty sure Zoe was equally surprised when he told her no. To say that he didn't handle it well would be a massive understatement. Almost as massive as the amount of work he's going to have to do now to convince her that he wants her. Forever. Right after he tells her that he's bought the company that's her bakery’s biggest competitor. Maybe if he tells her he’s in love with her first, that will help sugarcoat the whole we're-rivals-in-business-now thing. So, first "I'm in love with you", then "take off your clothes", then "I'm now your business adversary".Piece of cake.

    To make matters worse, the North Pole is freezing, they have to wear skimpy outfits and their poor little legs get worn out quickly. When the Elvin Labor Union was formed, the poor little fairies were left out of any sort of fair bargaining agreement. The time has come for all of that to change. Everyone knows Christmas Eve is the best time to attack the North Pole. Santa’s getting ready to deliver toys, the elves are partying and the reindeer have finished playing their reindeer games. Can the legendary North Pole withstand yet another attack? Will Christmas come to a screeching halt? Join three stealthy fairies: Sydae, Araedae and Zannae, as they try to make life easier for all Sugar Plum Fairies. Will they be able to succeed in their mission? What’s happened to Santa? Will the elves stop the fairies from their task? And what secret is Mrs. Claus hiding from the world?

    All she wants is a career in real estate, and she's willing to sell shoes in Neiman Marcus over the holidays to make ends meet. But recently, her boyfriend vanished -- with her car -- and her search for answers leads her to some very exclusive circles. Jolie hooks up with a pair of retail fashionistas who have made crashing society bashes an art form, and soon findsherself rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous ... and rubbing other body parts with one of Atlanta's most eligible bachelors!But Jolie can't shake the feeling that she's being pursued ... right into a dangerous clique where friends and enemies look the same, and flirtation is the preferred party favor. Jolie and her gal pals become the toast of the town ... until a body turns up at a sexy soiree the women have crashed. The fun and games come to a dead end when the "crashers" are fingered for the murder. The women have to pull all the tricks out of their designer bags to try to trap a stalker before Jolie, once the life of the party, becomes the death of the party.

    Telling her the truth would blow her whole career, and their relationship too.

    after a cleaner unplugged his cryogenic freezing machine by accident, Detective Inspector Capstan wakes up to find that he's been in a state of suspended animation for over four hundred years. As he's forced to adjust to life in the future he finds himself reinstated as a policeman, and together with the great great great great grandson of his former subordinate, Sergeant Dewbush, he's put on the case of a missing cow.

    With her mom in prison, and her father AWOL, Katie is sent to live with a squeaky-clean family who could have their own sitcom. She launches a full-scale plan to get sent back to the girls’ home when she finds herself in over her head...and heart. When Katie and her new "wrong crowd" get into significant trouble at school, she finds her punishment is restoring a historic theater with a crazy grandma who goes by the name of Mad Maxine. In the midst of her punishment, Katie uncovers family secrets that run deep, and realizes she's not the only one with a pain-filled past. Katie must decide if she'll continue her own family’s messed up legacy or embrace a new beginning in this place called In Between.

    Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of Other Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth.Not bad for a guy without a spine.But what's a villain to do after he's done . . . everything. With no new ambitions, he's happy to pitch in and solve the energy crisis or repel alien invaders should the need arise, but if he had his way, he'd prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of dangerous science. Just as a hobby, of course.Retirement isn't easy though. If the boredom doesn't get him, there's always the Venusians. Or the Saturnites. Or the Mercurials. Or . . . well, you get the idea. If that wasn't bad enough, there's also the assassins of a legendary death cult and an up-and-coming megalomaniac (as brilliant as he is bodiless) who have marked Emperor for their own nefarious purposes. But Mollusk isn't about to let the Earth slip out of his own tentacles and into the less capable clutches of another. So it's time to dust off the old death ray and come out of retirement. Except this time, he's not out to rule the world. He's out to save it from the peril of THE SINISTER BRAIN!