Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex


Judith Levine - 2002
    The author-a thoughtful and persuasive journalist and essayist-examines the consequences of "abstinence" only education and its concomitant association of sex with disease, and the persistent denial of pleasure. She notes the trend toward pathologizing young children's eroticized play and argues that Americans should rethink the boundaries we draw in protecting our children from sex. This powerful and illuminating work was nominated for the 2003 Los Angeles Times Book Prize.

Behind the Bedroom Door: Getting It, Giving It, Loving It, Missing It


Paula Derrow - 2008
    After all, we live in a world saturated with sex, which makes it tough not to wonder how we measure up—and even tougher to talk about our intimate experiences honestly. In this frank, poignant collection, twenty-six acclaimed writers go Behind the Bedroom Door and lay bare the messy, mind-blowing, often hilarious encounters that make up a woman’s history.By sharing their stories, authors like Susan Cheever, Hope Edelman, and Julie Powell bravely open a window on the passions, predilections and problems that we encounter between the sheets. In doing so, they reassure us that whatever we feel, whatever we do or don’t do in the bedroom, we’re not alone.Telling the truth about sex—how we like it, how often we get it, how it affects us—isn’t easy. This eye-opening anthology tells the truth about women’s intimate lives, shattering some deeply entrenched myths about what goes on in the bedrooms of real women along the way: Susan Cheever upends conventional notions about women, sex, and sentiment in her essay “In Praise of One-Night Stands.”… Sex is the last thing on Lauren Slater’s mind when the bestselling author and psychologist reveals a few surprising truths, even joys, about her virtually sexless marriage in “Overcome.”… Julie Powell serves up a searing chronicle of an illicit affair in “Lost in Space”; and novelist Valerie Frankel takes a decidedly lighter view in “Ouch, You’re Lying on My Hair.”Whether you’re twenty or seventy, single or perpetually coupled up, these frank, seriously sexy essays provide a deeply illuminating, ultimately comforting no-holds-barred look at our most private selves. Gutsy and provocative, they reveal a great deal about how far we’ve come—and how far we still have to go.

Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward


Gemma Hartley - 2018
    In relationships, we initiate the hard conversations. At home, we shoulder the mental load required to keep our households running. At work, we moderate our tone, explaining patiently and speaking softly. In the world, we step gingerly to keep ourselves safe. We do this largely invisible, draining work whether we want to or not—and we never clock out. No wonder women everywhere are overtaxed, exhausted, and simply fed up.In her ultra-viral article “Women Aren’t Nags—We’re Just Fed Up,” shared by millions of readers, Gemma Hartley gave much-needed voice to the frustration and anger experienced by countless women. Now, in Fed Up, Hartley expands outward from the everyday frustrations of performing thankless emotional labor to illuminate how the expectation to do this work in all arenas—private and public—fuels gender inequality, limits our opportunities, steals our time, and adversely affects the quality of our lives.More than just name the problem, though, Hartley teases apart the cultural messaging that has led us here and asks how we can shift the load. Rejecting easy solutions that don’t ultimately move the needle, Hartley offers a nuanced, insightful guide to striking real balance, for true partnership in every aspect of our lives. Reframing emotional labor not as a problem to be overcome, but as a genderless virtue men and women can all learn to channel in our quest to make a better, more egalitarian world, Fed Up is surprising, intelligent, and empathetic essential reading for every woman who has had enough with feeling fed up.

BDSM The Naked Truth


Charley Ferrer - 2011
    Charley Ferrer pulls back the leather curtain and exposes the world of Dominance and submission. Whether you're a novice, curious seeker, or have been dabbling in power exchange relationships for some time, BDSM The Naked Truth provides valuable information and dispels many of the misconceptions in this often misrepresented and highly erotic lifestyle. Doctor Charley reveals why men and women seek bondage, discipline and sadomasochistic activities; why a submissive yearns to surrender; and why a Dominant nourishes that craving. Discover the affection, respect and love expressed during these interactions. BDSM--it's not who you love but HOW you love them!

Women, Sex, and Addiction


Charlotte Kasl - 1900
    "Sane, warm, wise . . . a chance for rebirth."--Gloria Steinem"Probably the single most significant text to date regarding women and sex addiction."--Edward Armstrong, National Association of Sex Addiction Problems

Make Your Move: The New Science of Dating and Why Women Are in Charge


Jon Birger - 2021
    It's time to flip the script.Apps have transformed dating from a mysterious adventure into a daily chore. Young, single, college-educated women are sick and tired of competing for a shrinking supply of guys. And marriage-material men, long expected to take the lead when it comes to asking women out, are suddenly balking at making the first move, fearing they'll come across as creepy or inappropriate.Society is changing, which means it's time for dating to evolve. Millennial and Gen Z women are more than capable of seeking out what—and who—they want. They're standouts in the classroom and champions on the playing fields. They're leaders in the workplace and trailblazers in city halls, state houses, and Congress. So why would we tell a generation of badass women that they're not allowed to be bold when it comes to finding love? Why should they have to sit back and wait (and wait and wait) for men to find them?In Make Your Move: The New Science of Dating and Why Women Are in Charge, Jon Birger, author of Date-onomics, offers women bold new strategies for finding the one.

F*cked: Being Sexually Explorative and Self-Confident in a World That's Screwed


Corinne Fisher - 2017
    As the podcast grew, and Corinne and Krystyna got to know their fans, stories of sexual assault, verbal and emotional abuse, and crippling shame became common topics of discussion along with those humorous conversations highlighting overall sexual confusion among many adults. The podcast is now an community of over a million listeners worldwide, and a place where any and all taboo sex topics are discussed freely, both with celebrity guests and the real people in their lives.Their new book, F*cked, follows that model, as Corinne and Krystyna bring a mix of raw, ridiculous, and serious sexual conversation to the page that will include topics like:Why shame is completely made up and how we can stop giving into itSexual exploration and how it sometimes ends in a trip to the ERStuff we should stop doing: Snooping, nitpicking our bodies, and faking orgasmsAsking your sexual partner uncomfortable questionsHow to get yourself out of an unsafe situationMasturbation, threesomes, porn, sex toys, butt stuffAnd much, much moreCorinne and Krystyna are tired of books that pander to women like they’re hot messes, unable to handle their emotions without the assistance of a man, a glass of rosé, and a Xanax. This book will teach the reader, be they male, female, transgender or undecided, that you deal with sh*t, you brush your shoulder off, and you move the f*ck on. In a society where it has, for some reason, become chic to be the victim, they say this pity party ends now.This is a guide to love and sex for women who drink whiskey because they like it, not because it’s a cute thing to say on your Tinder profile. It has no trigger warnings because life doesn’t come with those. It won’t talk down to you or coddle you because you’re better than that. Corinne and Krystyna aren’t going to explain why he’s just not that into you, because it doesn’t f*cking matter. Despite what television, Rom-Coms, and glossy magazines tell you, you’re fine all by yourself. This is the book Bridget Jones should’ve read instead of writing that sh*tty diary in the first place.

The Trouble with Normal: Sex, Politics, and the Ethics of Queer Life


Michael Warner - 2000
    In place of sexual status quo, Warner offers a vision of true sexual autonomy that will forever change the way we think about sex, shame, and identity.

Why Women Have Sex: Understanding Sexual Motivations--From Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between)


Cindy M. Meston - 2009
    Meston, a clinical psychologist at the University of Texas at Austin, and evolutionary psychologist David M. Buss joined forces to investigate the underlying sexual motivations of women, what they found astonished them.Through the voices of real women, Meston and Buss reveal the motivations that guide women's sexual decisions and explain the deep-seated psychology and biology that often unwittingly drive women's desires-sometimes in pursuit of health or pleasure, or sometimes for darker, disturbing reasons that a woman may not fully recognize. Drawing on more than a thousand intensive interviews conducted solely for the book, as well as their pioneering research on physiological response and evolutionary emotions, Why Women Have Sex uncovers an amazingly complex and nuanced portrait of female sexuality. The authors delve into the use of sex as a defensive tactic against a mate's infidelity (protection), as a ploy to boost self-confidence (status), as a barter for gifts or household chores (resource acquisition), or as a cure for a migraine headache (medication).Why Women Have Sex stands as the richest and deepest psychological understanding of female sexuality yet achieved and promises to inform every woman's (and her partner's) awareness of her relationship to sex and her sexuality.

Born Both: An Intersex Life


Hida Viloria - 2017
    My name is Hida Viloria. I was raised as a girl but discovered at a young age that my body looked different. Having endured an often turbulent home life as a kid, there were many times when I felt scared and alone, especially given my attraction to girls. But unlike most people in the first world who are born intersex--meaning they have genitals, reproductive organs, hormones, and/or chromosomal patterns that do not fit standard definitions of male or female--I grew up in the body I was born with because my parents did not have my sex characteristics surgically altered at birth. It wasn't until I was twenty-six and encountered the term intersex in a San Francisco newspaper that I finally had a name for my difference. That's when I began to explore what it means to live in the space between genders--to be both and neither. I tried living as a feminine woman, an androgynous person, and even for a brief period of time as a man. Good friends would not recognize me, and gay men would hit on me. My gender fluidity was exciting, and in many ways freeing--but it could also be isolating. I had to know if there were other intersex people like me, but when I finally found an intersex community to connect with I was shocked, and then deeply upset, to learn that most of the people I met had been scarred, both physically and psychologically, by infant surgeries and hormone treatments meant to "correct" their bodies. Realizing that the invisibility of intersex people in society facilitated these practices, I made it my mission to bring an end to it--and became one of the first people to voluntarily come out as intersex at a national and then international level.Born Both is the story of my lifelong journey toward finding love and embracing my authentic identity in a world that insists on categorizing people into either/or, and of my decades-long fight for human rights and equality for intersex people everywhere.

Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans


Michaeleen Doucleff - 2021
    Michaeleen Doucleff becomes a mother, she examines the studies behind modern parenting guidance and finds the evidence frustratingly limited and the conclusions often ineffective. Curious to learn about more effective parenting approaches, she visits a Maya village in the Yucatán Peninsula. There she encounters moms and dads who parent in a totally different way than we do—and raise extraordinarily kind, generous, and helpful children without yelling, nagging, or issuing timeouts. What else, Doucleff wonders, are Western parents missing out on? In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world’s most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don’t have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop—it’s built on cooperation instead of control, trust instead of fear, and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones. Maya parents are masters at raising cooperative children. Without resorting to bribes, threats, or chore charts, Maya parents rear loyal helpers by including kids in household tasks from the time they can walk. Inuit parents have developed a remarkably effective approach for teaching children emotional intelligence. When kids cry, hit, or act out, Inuit parents respond with a calm, gentle demeanor that teaches children how to settle themselves down and think before acting. Hadzabe parents are world experts on raising confident, self-driven kids with a simple tool that protects children from stress and anxiety, so common now among American kids. Not only does Doucleff live with families and observe their techniques firsthand, she also applies them with her own daughter, with striking results. She learns to discipline without yelling. She talks to psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, and sociologists and explains how these strategies can impact children’s mental health and development. Filled with practical takeaways that parents can implement immediately, Hunt, Gather, Parent helps us rethink the ways we relate to our children, and reveals a universal parenting paradigm adapted for American families.

Imperfect Control: Our Lifelong Struggles With Power and Surrender


Judith Viorst - 1998
    Now, in her wise and perceptive new book, Imperfect Control, she shows us how our sense of self and all our important relationships are colored by our struggles over control: over wanting it and taking it, loving it and fearing it, and figuring out when the time has come to surrender it. Writing with compassion, acute psychological insight, and a touch of her trademark humor, Viorst invites us to contemplate the limits and possibilities of our control. She shows us how our lives can be shaped by our actions and our choices. She reminds us, too, that we sometimes should choose to let go. And she encourages us to find our own best balance between power and surrender.

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother


Amy Chua - 2011
    This was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it's about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how I was humbled by a thirteen-year-old." —Amy ChuaAll decent parents want to do what's best for their children. What Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother reveals is that the Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that. Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions and providing a nurturing environment. The Chinese believe that the best way to protect your children is by preparing them for the future and arming them with skills, strong work habits, and inner confidence. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother chronicles Chua's iron-willed decision to raise her daughters, Sophia and Lulu, her way—the Chinese way—and the remarkable results her choice inspires.Here are some things Amy Chua would never allow her daughters to do:- have a playdate- be in a school play- complain about not being in a school play- not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama- play any instrument other than the piano or violin- not play the piano or violinThe truth is Lulu and Sophia would never have had time for a playdate. They were too busy practicing their instruments (two to three hours a day and double sessions on the weekend) and perfecting their Mandarin.Of course no one is perfect, including Chua herself. Witness this scene:"According to Sophia, here are three things I actually said to her at the piano as I supervised her practicing:- Oh my God, you're just getting worse and worse.- I'm going to count to three, then I want musicality.- If the next time's not PERFECT, I'm going to take all your stuffed animals and burn them!"But Chua demands as much of herself as she does of her daughters. And in her sacrifices—the exacting attention spent studying her daughters' performances, the office hours lost shuttling the girls to lessons—the depth of her love for her children becomes clear. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is an eye-opening exploration of the differences in Eastern and Western parenting—and the lessons parents and children everywhere teach one another.

All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood


Jennifer Senior - 2014
    Award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior now asks: what are the effects of children on their parents?"All Joy and No Fun is an indispensable map for a journey that most of us take without one. Brilliant, funny, and brimming with insight, this is an important book that every parent should read, and then read again. Jennifer Senior is surely one of the best writers on the planet."-Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on HappinessIn All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior isolates and analyzes the many ways in which children reshape their parents' lives, whether it's their marriages, their jobs, their habits, their hobbies, their friendships, or their internal senses of self. She argues that changes in the last half century have radically altered the roles of today's mothers and fathers, making their mandates at once more complex and far less clear. Recruiting from a wide variety of sources-in history, sociology, economics, psychology, philosophy, and anthropology-she dissects both the timeless strains of parenting and the ones that are brand new, and then brings her research to life in the homes of ordinary parents around the country. The result is an unforgettable series of family portraits, starting with parents of young children and progressing to parents of teens. Through lively and accessible storytelling, Senior follows these mothers and fathers as they wrestle with some of parenthood's deepest vexations-and luxuriate in some of its finest rewards.Meticulously researched yet imbued with emotional intelligence, All Joy and No Fun makes us reconsider some of our culture's most basic beliefs about parenthood, all while illuminating the profound ways children deepen and add purpose to our lives. By focusing on parenthood, rather than parenting, the book is original and essential reading for mothers and fathers of today-and tomorrow.

10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives


Joe Kort - 2003
    Joe Kort explores as he guides readers through the complex journey of becoming a gay man. Dr. Kort points out that the beginning of this journey is about taking responsibility for your own life, and reading this book shows you exactly how to do this. Readers will learn how to identify their own internalized homophobia that is preventing many of gay men from leading satisfying lives and keeping them from having healthy relationships.Gay men often say that after coming out they feel better at first, but for many it doesn't last. 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives provides a thorough map for navigating through the difficult terrain of becoming the gay man you want to be in the context of your family, of your sexual health, and ultimately of a partnered relationship.* Discover how to find your authentic gay self* Learn the five biggest mistakes gay men make when seeking a relationship* Understand how to understand loved ones who disapprove of you being gay* Overcome damaging patterns that are holding you back from a healthy sex life