Booky Wook Collection
Russell Brand - 2014
The bloke can write. He rhapsodizes about heroin better than anyone since Jim Carroll. With the flick of his enviable pen, he can summarize childhood thus: ‘My very first utterance in life was not a single word, but a sentence. It was, ‘Don’t do that.’... Russell Brand has a compelling story." — New York Times Book ReviewThe gleeful and candid New York Times bestselling autobiography of addiction, recovery, and rise to fame from Russell Brand, star of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and one of the biggest personalities in comedy today.Picking up where he left off in My Booky Wook, movie star and comedian Russell Brand details his rapid climb to fame and fortune in a shockingly candid, resolutely funny, and unbelievably electrifying tell-all: Booky Wook 2. Brand’s performances in Arthur, Get Him to the Greek, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall have earned him a place in fans’ hearts; now, with a drop of Chelsea Handler’s Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, a dash of Tommy Lee’s Dirt, and a spoonful of Nikki Sixx’s The Heroin Diaries, Brand goes all the way—exposing the mad genius behind the audacious comic we all know (or think we know) and love (or at least, lust).
Deadlines Don't Care If Janet Doesn't Like Her Photo
David Thorne - 2021
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a fly on the wall of a creative agency? No? Well, that’s fine as well. You wouldn’t know you were in an agency anyway; flies have no concept of that kind of thing. All they’re interested in is standing in poo then walking around the rim of your coffee mug.
Crazy Cat Lady
Agnes Loonstra - 2019
Her tote bag is stocked with lint rollers and catnip. All her photos get the #catlady or #crazycatlady hashtags. And she’s not alone—each tag has over 4 million posts on Instagram! With clever text by Ms. Scholten and utterly charming artwork by Ms. Loonstra (a regular Flow illustrator),
Crazy Cat Lady
is a celebration of the quirky, relatable, and instantly recognizable habits of devoted feline fans. There are mottos for the perpetually fur-covered: Cat hair, don’t care. Quotes for the owners who know the more the merrier: “Cats are like glasses of wine. You can’t have just one.” Flowcharts on what to name your kitten. “How to draw a cat” tutorials. Fun facts: Did you know that a cat has 230 bones in its body, more than you? And portraits of crazy cat ladies through history, from Florence Nightingale to Katy Perry. At an impulse-friendly price, this sweetly edgy little book has the fresh outlook on cat fanaticism the modern feline lover has been waiting for.
A Play On Words
Deric Longden - 1999
The theme is the experience of Longden watching LOST FOR WORDS become a TV drama along with a collection of observations of life at home and abroad.
Monkey Business
Landon Crutcher - 2016
Unfortunately they have no real resources, no good plans, and no idea what the hell they're doing. What they do have is an army of foul-mouthed monkeys who want them dead, a beautiful woman who wants some answers, a sex-crazed tribal chief, a caffeine-addicted demigod who wants to be worshipped, and a telepathic skull who just wants a little excitement. Through nonstop comedy and good old-fashioned adventure these guys are facing some long odds but do Ron and Willy give up? No they don't. They get down to business. Monkey Business.
Mrs Caldicot's Oyster Parade
Vernon Coleman - 2018
(The first book, 'Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War was filmed starring Pauline Collins in the title role.) Mrs Caldicot and her colleagues from the Twilight Years Rest Home win the lottery. Their win is small but it transforms their lives in an unexpected way. A trip abroad results in disaster but Mrs Caldicot and company rise above their misfortune.
We're All A Mess, It's OK: A collection of funny essays and one-liners about the struggles of everyday life
Amy Lyle - 2018
It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.
Archyology : The Long Lost Tales of Archy and Mehitabel
Don Marquis - 1996
B. White in his essay on Don Marquis and his famous creations, and the undimmed enthusiasm of several generations of fans -- who every year buy thousands of copies of Marquis' earlier collections -- testifies to their appeal. A whimsical and sophisticated sage, archy the cockroach entertained readers with iconoclastic observations on pretensions, politics, and our place in the cosmos during Marquis' career as a New York newspaper columnist in the 1920s and 30s.Allegedly tapping out stories at night by leaping from key to key on Marquis' typewriter, archy couldn't quite manage the shift key for capital letters. Although his tales appeared in lower case, his views achieved a level grand enough to solidify Marquis' reputation as an American humorist in the tradition of Mark Twain, Joel Chandler Harris, and Ring Lardner. archyology brings together selected "lost" tales that were literally rescued from oblivion by Jeff Adams, who found them among papers stored in a steamer trunk since Marquis' death.And so archy emerges from his long silence. Whether reporting on characters like emmet the ghost, sailing to Paris to visit the insects of Europe, being trapped for days in a New York subway train, or hanging out in a Long Island orchard enjoying fermented cherries, archy is always both provocative and inimitable. With illustrations by Ed Frascino, a New Yorker regular, this collection reintroduces a delightful cast of characters who reconfirm archy's view of the world: "the only way to live with it is to laugh at it.
The Culprit
Martin Sasek - 2020
All behind the outrageous antics of this wildly - witty Bengal kitten that turned our Empty Nest upside-down.After twenty-seven years of marriage, Diane and I had finally graduated, earning and acquiring our combined Degree with all the rights and privileges awarded to those now holding the official and distinguished title of Empty Nester!But as I turned and headed for home, the bloody wind blew up again, blowing open the front of my robe so wide that it demanded and required I immediately place Kitten in front of my naughty bits so as to avoid having someone call the authorities.
The Yellow Cottage Vintage Mysteries: Books 1 - 3
J. New - 2018
Ella Bridges has recently purchased her new home-The Yellow Cottage-from a curious old lady, but with it comes a unique gift. Her new-found ability changes the course of her life in ways she could never have imagined.The Yellow Cottage Vintage Mysteries: Books 1 – 3 includes the first three stories in the popular series readers describe as ‘Miss Marple meets The Ghost Whisperer.’ The unique slant on the traditional whodunit and the humour peppered throughout are what makes these books firm favourites with readers all over the world.AN ACCIDENTAL MURDERWhen a strange child follows her home on the train from London, Ella Bridges feels bound to help her. However, she soon discovers the child is not what she seems.THE CURSE OF ARUNDEL HALLOne ghost, one murder, one hundred years apart. But are they connected?An invitation to dinner at Arundel Hall takes a turn for the worse when one of the party is murdered.A CLERICAL ERRORWhen the crime scene is pure coincidence and there’s no evidence, how do you prove it was murder?Ella Bridges faces her most challenging investigation so far when the vicar dies suddenly at the May Day Fete.? THE CURSE OF ARUNDEL HALL (Book 2)One ghost, one murder, one hundred years apart. But are they connected?Ella has discovered a secret room in The Yellow Cottage, but with it comes a ghost. Who was she? And how did she die? Ella needs to find the answers before either of them can find peace. But suddenly things take a nasty turn for the worse.Ella Bridges has been living on Linhay Island for several months but still hasn’t discovered the identity of her ghostly guest. Deciding to research the history of her cottage for clues she finds it is connected to Arundel Hall, the large Manor House on the bluff, and when an invitation to dinner arrives realises it is the perfect opportunity to discover more.However the evening takes a shocking turn when one of their party is murdered. Is The Curse of Arundel Hall once again rearing its ugly head, or is there a simpler explanation? Ella suddenly finds herself involved in two mysteries at once, and again joins forces with Scotland Yard’s Police Commissioner to try and catch a killer. But will they succeed?A CLERICAL ERROR (Book 3)When the crime scene is pure coincidence and there's no evidence, how do you prove it was murder?Ella Bridges faces her most challenging investigation so far when the vicar dies suddenly at the May Day Fete. But with evidence scarce and her personal life unravelling in ways she could never have imagined, she misses vital clues in the investigation.Working alongside Sergeant Baxter of Scotland Yard, will Ella manage to unearth the clues needed to catch the killer before another life is lost? Or will personal shock cloud her mind and result in another tragedy?
The Road to Villa Page: A He Said/She Said Memoir of Buying Our Dream Home in France
Cynthia Royce - 2020
Our story begins with falling in love with France, specifically the enchanting Dordogne. We weren’t the first and we won’t be the last. The region was an inspiration to prehistoric man, as the earliest known works of art are to be found in the nearby caves of Lascaux. From the 1000 chateaux perched on towering cliffs overhanging the meandering Dordogne River to the countless plus beaux villages (most beautiful villages) dotting the region, it is truly a magical place.The first book is a roller-coaster ride of the ups and downs of making the dream a reality, beginning with, Oh my God, are we really doing this?! To looking for the home, getting a loan, wading through the red tape of actually moving, and studying French! Finally, the most important part of making “our” dream come true, adopting a baby girl to make the journey complete.
The Top Insults: How to Win Any Argument...While Laughing!
Full Sea Books - 2013
“You’re about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat’s butt.”
Keep this book handy, someday you’ll be glad you have it.
“Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you just be yourself.”
Pick any of the many jaw-dropping insults then laugh at the look on your adversary’s face when you whip one out and use it on them. You’ll leave no doubt in their mind that you are a master of sarcastic insults! ADDED BONUS: In addition to the fresh and hilarious insults in this book, you’ll also find great sarcastic observations about life hidden inside this book’s pages, like…
“I think the reason so many people have smart phones is because opposites attract!”
You’re no idiot, so you need this book to start your new life as the master of sarcastic insults and put-downs!
“Hey! Who left the Idiot Box open? Now they're everywhere!”
Best Joke Book for Kids : Best Funny Jokes and Knock Knock Jokes( 200+ Jokes)
Peter MacDonald - 2013
Funny jokes, Knock Knock jokes, Kids Jokes.Jokes for Kids, Best Joke Book for Kids is styled for as kids grow older they find certain jokes less and less funny. This means you have to come up with age appropriate jokes to keep them entertained. Jokes are more than just for laughs. They also stimulate thought and educate. That does not mean you go stiff on the kids, far from it. You want jokes that are funny, corny and have some substance. Usually the really good jokes will give even you the tickles.Kids jokes, with over 200 funny jokes, this will keep the kids, and adult laughing for some time.
You Could Do Damage
C. Monet - 2018
Big sister and guardian of her family, she is thrown to the world without a harness, no guidance, and no help. Dahlia is not afraid to get her hands dirty or do the unthinkable to make sure her and her sister aren't separated. Love is foreign and get it by any means reigns supreme for her. Raising her sister was her only concern, but as her sister Deja prepares to set sail on her own journey, Dahlia is forced to focus on picking up the pieces and finding her own way. What was supposed to be a favor for his little brother turns into so much more as Ty'Key spends time peeling back the layers of Dahlia Starks. Ty' Key Patterson is handsome, strong, and willing to suffer the catastrophe of any damage Dahlia brings his way as long as she is. Both alike in so many ways, they run into different situations that could not only damage them personally but damage a long-standing friendship. Will they be able to clean up the damage or crumble like ashes scattered amongst the rubbish?
Tennis and the Masai
Nicholas Best - 1987
Drop him into a ghastly Kenya prep school in the middle of Rider Haggard country. A school where cricketing news comes by carrier pigeon, leopards are assaulted with a red-hot poker, and runaway boys are hunted down with spearmen and a pack of foxhounds... For Martin Riddle, the experience is unforgettable. For the riding mistress, Lady Bullivant, it is all part of the day's work. And for the headmaster, a disreputable ex-Guards officer, it is simply a means of staving off bankruptcy for a few more weeks. As for the Masai, tennis may be on the curriculum at Haggard Hall, but midnight meetings with naked warriors definitely are not! 'The funniest book I have read since David Lodge's Small World' - Sunday Times 'Wickedly funny' - Daily Mail 'Less savage than Evelyn Waugh, Best is every bit as sharp... an immensely enjoyable book' - Evening Standard 'Very good entertainment' - Sir Alec Guinness (Sunday Times book of the year) Nicholas Best's books have been translated into many languages. He was the Financial Times's fiction critic for ten years and was long-listed in 2010 for the Sunday Times-EFG Bank 30,000 award, the biggest short story prize in the world. For more details, see www.nicholasbest.co.uk