Instead of writing a boffo best seller, Dirk unites all religions in a common goal: Kill Dirk. E. E. King Shopping around for where to spend eternity can prove quite overwhelming. Dirk Quigby's Guide to the Afterlife is a humorous analysis of the world's religions with a focus on the afterlife. Tying the analysis together with a quirky and offbeat novel, the laughs roll together well with plenty of substance. Dirk Quigby's Guide to the Afterlife is excellently composed and a read that is fun and very hard to set down. "This is the most delightful book this reviewer has read in a while.... King does a masterful job at mixing short vignettes of Dirk's experience with the Devil, his travels to the many heavens, his newly discovered lover, and the factual descriptions of the final paradise of each faith. The Guide to the Afterlife is a mixture of fact and fiction, faith and mysticism at its best." The Midwest Review of Books

    You may very well find that getting frustrated and enraged might be the only way to get things changed around here.To help you achieve a new state of mild motivation, Screw Calm and Get Angry brings together several centuries of embattled and embittered epithets. It would seem that across the world and across the centuries, there is plenty of evidence to suggest you're not alone in bemoaning the way the odds are stacked:* On Politics: "The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly,' meaning 'many,' and the word 'ticks,' meaning 'blood sucking parasites.'" --Larry Hardiman* On Work: "By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day." --Robert Frost* On Money: "The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any." --Katherine Whitehorn* On Business: "Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it, and that's true anywhere in the world." --Andrew Young* On War: "You can't say civilization don't advance...for in every war they kill you a new way." --Will Rogers* On Life: "If you wake up and you're not in pain, you know you're dead." --Russian proverbA parody of the famed Keep Calm and Carry On British motivational poster, and featuring the same successful format as our best-selling Keep Calm and Carry On book, Screw Calm and Get Angry is destined to be the motivational mantra for the realists of the world!

    That's what the country is crying out for.' There is now only one certainty in life. When things can't possibly get any worse, they absolutely will. And so, after three years of Maybot malfunctioning and Brexit bungling, welcome to BoJo the clown's national circus - where fun for literally none of the family is guaranteed. Fear not, however: Decline and Fail is your personal survival guide to the ongoing political apocalypse. This unremittingly entertaining collection of John Crace's lifegiving political sketches will get you through the darkest of days - or failing that, will at least make you laugh a bit. Miss it at your peril...

    As we all know, true creativity comes from simple formulas and the memorization of data. This new bible makes the secrets of comedy accessible, not only to those funny few among us, but also to those who might not have the ability or talent to be funny. One no longer need worry about originality — just find the right comedy number and apply as needed... and then you're on your way to POPULARITYVILLE!© Comedy by the Numbers is a NEARLY comprehensive list of all comedy characters, bits, scenarios, sketches, skits, shtick, and much more. (We say nearly because we want to leave room for Volume 2.) Included are special hints, tips, and unboring comedy history. Comedy by the Numbers is the brainchild of Prof. Eric Hoffman (Mr. Show) and Dr. Gary Rudoren (Annoyance Theatre) — AND features loads of comedy fun facts that you can memorize and use to impress people at parties!

    

    Good for readers in grades 1-3. Tyler has a monster called Eddie! He is a perfect monster at home- he is well mannered, helps Tyler practice his soccer skills and even cleans the house. But in public, it's a different matter! Eddie farts in public and doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. Not at all! Although Tyler pleads with him to stop, Eddie won't listen. It all ends in a way Tyler couldn't have imagined!

     Join Cooper and the rest of the C&C gang as they fight tyranny the best way they know how... by being assholes. The author's share of royalties from sales of this title are donated monthly to the ACLU. Join me in pissing in the face of tyranny.

    

    What Michael doesn’t expect, is to be put in charge of a group of offenders and sent to a remote location in the Sierra Nevada Mountains in Spain to teach them survival skills as part of their rehabilitation programme. But Michael knows nothing at all about survival skills. He was sort of in the SAS, yes, but his shining record on the “Escape and Evasion” courses was more a testament to his computer skills than his ability to catch wildlife and barbecue it over an impromptu fire. Basically, he was the SAS’s techy nerd and only achieved that position as a result of a bet with a fellow hacker. Facing a stark choice between starvation or returning home to serve out their sentences, the group of offenders under Michael’s supervision soon realise that the only way to survive is to use their own unique set of skills – the kind of skills that got them arrested in the first place.

    

    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.

    i really mean it! IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED AND BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS BOOK: SCOTTISH, WELSH, NORTHERN IRISH, IRISH CATHOLICS, COCKNEYS, CHAVS, UPPER CLASS ENGLISH TWATS, RELIGIOUS CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS, JEWS, HOMOSEXUALS, RESIDENTS OF WATFORD, THE ACTOR ROBERT CARLYLE, THE WORKING CLASSES, THE UNEMPLOYED PUB GOING DOLE SCROUNGERS, THE AUTHOR'S FRIEND DANIEL SKELTON, REPUBLICAN AMERICANS, SOUTHERN STATES AMERICANS, CHRISTIAN MIDWEST AMERICANS WITH TRADITIONAL VALUES, ANY AMERICAN, TRANSVESTITES, SUPPORTERS OF THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL SQUAD, IRANIANS, EX PRESIDENT OF IRAN MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, SYRIANS, BASHAR AL ASSAD, WAYNE ROONEY, BELGIUMS, AGATHA CHRISTIE, THE FRENCH, YAHOO MESSAGE BOARD COMMENTATORS, SOUTH AMERICAN CRIME CARTELS, PRIESTS AND REVERENDS, THE WRITER OF THIS BOOK, PALESTINIANS, ARABS IN GENERAL, OLD YIDDISH MEN, THE FICTIONAL OLLAWONGA TRIBE OF DARKEST AFRICA, THE WRITER AND READERS OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, THE CHINESE AND TONY BLAIR. IF YOU BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS WHO HAVE HAD A MORE THAN CAMEO MENTION/APPEARANCE IN THE NOVEL, PLEASE READ THE BOOK WITHOUT FEAR OF OFFENSIVE STEREOTYPING: ITALIANS. If you have got this far, then allow me to enlighten you about a secret so great that the general public has no idea about but every government in the world knows and they are involved in a consistent cover up to keep the horrors from you.. What are the Ethereals? Some say they are the personifications of iconic and stereotypical energies given life by our collective beliefs and imagination. Others say they started as humans and evolved for much the same reasons given above. Both viewpoints have a basis in truth. A decade ago one of the most fearsome of these beings 'The Englishman,' was banished from our plane of existence by a weeping Tony Blair who cut the throat of a small child in a necromantic energy ritual to do so. With such a price paid, the question has to be asked ... just how serious a threat has arisen from the Ethereal world that the British government's only option is to bring back the Englishman to save us!!!! Set in 2012 in the lead up to the US election ... welcome to the twisted world of Mad Dog and The Englishman. WARNING: The following piece of hack work contains levels of swearing, depraved activity and violent situations sufficient enough to have Jihadi John puking up his guts.

    Slump and one of the strangest places on Earth!

    Despite years of research, we could not find anything to say on this subject, so please feel free to use this book for notes.

    Featuring some of the biggest names in Hollywood as performers, this collection finds Emmy Award–winning actor Alec Baldwin enacting Julia Slavin’s “Covered,” a far-out funny story of an unraveling thread and its grip on the protagonist. “Queen of the Indies” Parker Posey deliciously explains how to teach a group of daffy seniors to swim without a pool in Miranda July’s “The Swim Team.” Emmy Award–winning comedian Stephen Colbert performs T. C. Boyle’s “The Lie,” relating the yarn of a man who is drawn deeper and deeper into a tangled web of deceit—and hilarity. Isaiah Sheffer hysterically delivers an epic once-in-a-lifetime recipe to challenge the bravest cook in Harry Mathews’ “Country Cooking from Central France: Roast Boned Rolled Stuffed Shoulder of Lamb (Farce Double).” Tony Award–winner Christine Baranski recreates Thomas Meehan’s wacky whimsy about a cocktail party guest list composed of two syllable celebrity names in “Yma Dream”—the most popular comic tale in the history of the series.