The Parents We Mean To Be: How Well-Intentioned Adults Undermine Children's Moral and Emotional Development


Richard Weissbourd - 2009
    And yet, it is parents’ lack of self-awareness and confused priorities that are dangerously undermining children’s development.Through the author’s own original field research, including hundreds of rich, revealing conversations with children, parents, teachers, and coaches, a surprising picture emerges.Parents’ intense focus on their children’s happiness is turning many children into self-involved, fragile conformists.The suddenly widespread desire of parents to be closer to their children—a heartening trend in many ways—often undercuts kids’morality.Our fixation with being great parents—and our need for our children to reflect that greatness—can actually make them feel ashamed for failing to measure up. Finally, parents’ interactions with coaches and teachers—and coaches’ and teachers’ interactions with children—are critical arenas for nurturing, or eroding, children’s moral lives.Weissbourd’s ultimately compassionate message—based on compelling new research—is that the intense, crisis-filled, and profoundly joyous process of raising a child can be a powerful force for our own moral development.

The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness: Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy


Edward M. Hallowell - 2002
    Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., father of three and a clinical psychiatrist, has thought long and hard about what makes children feel good about themselves and the world they live in. Now, in The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness, Dr. Hallowell shares his findings with all of us who care about children.As Dr. Hallowell argues, we don't need statistical studies or complicated expert opinions to raise children. What we do need is love, wonder, and the confidence to trust our instincts. This inspiring book outlines a 5-step plan that all parents can use in giving their children the gift of happiness that will last a lifetime. Connection, play, practice, mastery, and recognition: as fundamental as these five concepts are, they hold the key to raising children with healthy self-esteem, moral awareness, and spiritual values. Dr. Hallowell explores each step in depth and shows how they work together to foster trust, respect, and joy.Privilege, wealth, and expensive "extras" are not necessary for happiness--there are many stories here of children who have overcome poverty, abandonment, and shocking deprivation to find true fulfillment. Dr. Hallowell encourages us as parents to reconnect with the moments in our own childhoods that made a difference; he explores the impact of genetics and environmental factors on the inner workings of a child's mind; and he discusses how activities like team sports, community service, religious observance, and household chores can foster a child's sense of mastery.Like the works of T. Berry Brazelton and Benjamin Spock, The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness is infused with the wisdom and humanity of a doctor who truly loves and understands children. Writing with the warmth of a friend and the authority of an expert, Dr. Hallowell gives us a book at once practical and exuberant, joyous and informative, eye-opening and reassuring. Ultimately, this book is a celebration of childhood and of the magic that happens between parents and the children they love.

Raising a Thinking Child


Myrna B. Shure - 1994
    And so do children - if they have the skills to do it. That's why award-winning psychologist Dr. Myrna Shure decided to create a program to give them those skills. It's called I Can Problem Solve (ICPS) and for twenty-five years it has benefited thousands nationwide. Raising a Thinking Child, a book that will change your family dynamics forever - and help your child develop in ways you never thought possible - brings this positive parenting program directly into your home. Unlike other methods of child rearing, the ICPS approach teaches youngsters as young as four not what to think or do, but how to think - and the results are astounding. Through the program's specially designed and fun-to-do dialogues, games, and activities - easily incorporated into everyday family life - a young child learns how to solve problems and resolve conflicts with friends, teachers, and family; explore alternative solutions and their consequences; and understand the feelings of others. With ICPS, shy children become more assertive and impulsive children are less likely to act out when things don't go their way. Most important the ICPS-competent child is better equipped to avoid early destructive behaviors that later can lead to delinquency, substance abuse, violence, and depression. Helping your child become a thinking, feeling individual and grow up to be a socially adjusted, self-confident adult is what Raising a Thinking Child is all about. Based on years of research and evaluation, clinically proven, and child-tested, it may be the most important gift you can share with your child today...for tomorrow.

The Comfort Crisis: Embrace Discomfort to Reclaim Your Wild, Happy, Healthy Self


Michael Easter - 2021
    But could our sheltered, temperature-controlled, overfed, underchallenged lives actually be the leading cause of many our most urgent physical and mental health issues? In this gripping investigation, award-winning journalist Michael Easter seeks out off-the-grid visionaries, disruptive genius researchers, and mind-body conditioning trailblazers who are unlocking the life-enhancing secrets of a counterintuitive solution: discomfort. Easter’s journey to understand our evolutionary need to be challenged takes him to meet the NBA’s top exercise scientist, who uses an ancient Japanese practice to build championship athletes; to the mystical country of Bhutan, where an Oxford economist and Buddhist leader are showing the world what death can teach us about happiness; to the outdoor lab of a young neuroscientist who’s found that nature tests our physical and mental endurance in ways that expand creativity while taming burnout and anxiety; to the remote Alaskan backcountry on a demanding thirty-three-day hunting expedition to experience the rewilding secrets of one of the last rugged places on Earth; and more. Along the way, Easter uncovers a blueprint for leveraging the power of discomfort that will dramatically improve our health and happiness, and perhaps even help us understand what it means to be human. The Comfort Crisis is a bold call to break out of your comfort zone and explore the wild within yourself.

No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame


Janet Lansbury - 2014
    As a RIE teacher and student of pioneering child specialist Magda Gerber, her advice is not based solely on formal studies and the research of others, but also on her twenty years of hands-on experience guiding hundreds of parents and their toddlers. “No Bad Kids” is a collection of Janet's most popular and widely read articles pertaining to common toddler behaviors and how respectful parenting practices can be applied to benefit both parents and children. It covers such common topics as punishment, cooperation, boundaries, testing, tantrums, hitting, and more. “No Bad Kids” provides a practical, indispensable tool for parents who are anticipating or experiencing those critical years when toddlers are developmentally obliged to test the limits of our patience and love. Armed with knowledge and a clearer sense of the world through our children’s eyes, this period of uncertainty can afford a myriad of opportunities to forge unbreakable bonds of trust and respect.

Full Voice: The Art and Practice of Vocal Presence


Barbara McAfee - 2011
    Noted speaker, musician, and coach Barbara McAfee shows how to become a more effective communicator by mastering the full range of your voice and learning to match tone to content.

What to Read When: The Books and Stories to Read with Your Child--and All the Best Times to Read Them


Pam Allyn - 2009
    In many ways, books provide the first opportunity for children to begin to reflectively engage with and understand the world around them. Not only can parents entertain their child and convey the beauty of language through books, they can also share their values and create lasting connections.Here, Allyn offers parents and caregivers essential advice on choosing appropriate titles for their children--taking into account a child's age, attention ability, gender, and interests-- along with techniques for reading aloud effectively. But what sets this book apart is the extraordinary, annotated list of more than three hundred titles suitable for the pivotal moments in a child's life. With category themes ranging from friendship and journeys to thankfulness, separations, silliness, and spirituality, What to Read When is a one-of-a-kind guide to how parents can best inspire children through reading together. In addition, Pam Allyn includes an indispensable "Reader's Ladder" section, with recommendations for children at every stage from birth to age ten. With the author's warm and engaging voice throughout, discussion questions to encourage in-depth conversations, as well as advice on helping kids make the transition to independent reading, this book will help shape thoughtful, creative, and curious children, imparting a love of reading that will last a lifetime.These Penguin Young Reader's Books are referenced in What to Read WhenSylvia Jean: Drama Queen by Lisa Campbell Ernst (Penguin Young Reader's Group: 2005)Two Is For Twins, by Wendy Cheyette Lewison, illustrations by Hiroe Nakata (Penguin Young Readers: 2006)Remember Grandma? by Laura Langston (Penguin Group (USA): May 2004)Soul Looks Back in Wonder compiled by Tom Feelings (Puffin Books)Time of Wonder by Robert McCloskey (Penguin Books USA, Incorporated: December 1957)When I was Young in the Mountainsby Cynthia Rylant illustrated by Diane Goode (Penguin Young Readers Group: January 1993)Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs by Tomie DePaola (Puffin Books, an imprint of Penguin Books, Inc.:1973)Good Night, Good Knight by Shelly Moore Thomas, illustrations by Jennifer Plecas (Penguin Young Readers Group: 2002)

Homeschooling: A Patchwork of Days: Share a Day with 30 Homeschooling Families


Nancy Lande - 1997
    When author Nancy Lande started homeschooling more than 10 years ago, this is the book she wanted that didn't exist. What better way to create your homeschool than reading about others and picking and choosing the styles that appeal to you? Lande has corralled a variety of homeschoolers and, with some deft editing, allowed them to speak for themselves. Every chapter features a different household on any given day. Many of the writers are mothers, but a stay-at-home dad and several children tell their tales as well. Their detailed descriptions start in the waking hours of morning and get down to the nitty-gritty information of everyday life in a homeschool: how moms fit in showers, how chores are divvied up, how reading and research are gently initiated, how parents set aside time for themselves. These writers invite the reader into their homes and advise, "Don't mind the mess." Their passages are often funny and unflinchingly honest. They aren't embarrassed to tell you they whipped out SpaghettiOs for a hurried lunch or stole a peek at CNN while ignoring the chaos in the playroom. Some of the families have created highly structured school environments within their homes, with desks and sharpened pencils. Others promote freestyle learning, with their children sprawled across the house working on projects or reading in between walking the dog, playing games, and riding bikes. The majority of families here live in Pennsylvania, the author's home state, but one writes from as far away as Scotland, another lives on a mountain in Alaska, and yet another checks in from a college town in Texas. Their learning logs, reading lists, and journal entries, along with family photos, help illustrate the book. The quilt they piece together is a great service to those wondering how to approach homeschooling. --Jodi Mailander Farrell

Mind Games: Emotionally Manipulative Tactics Partners Use to Control Relationships and Force the Upper Hand


Pamela Kole - 2015
     Mind Games uncovers a host of underhanded, sneaky, and malicious emotional manipulation tactics that manipulators and abusers use to beat you down and control you. We might all be able to recognize blatant abuse, but when we’re emotionally invested, it’s tough to see the little signs that are in front of our faces sometimes. They’ll lead to you feeling worthless and vulnerable, making it almost impossible to truly leave your situation. In this book, I identify many common tactics that you may be intimately and sadly familiar with, complete with real life examples for each to help you identify them in your daily life. What emotionally manipulative tactics will you learn to identify and stop? * Gaslighting and telling you that your concern is an overreaction, or quite simply wrong. * How the silent treatment is used as punishment and forces compliance. * Playing the victim and how it transforms your issues into guilt and pity. * Your abuser's time machine and how they use it to their advantage. More importantly: * An analysis of the psychology behind why your partner acts they way they do... and why you stay. * Guidelines for how to deal with a partner that is your manipulator and abuser. * Why your abuser loves controlling you, not necessarily you. Emotional manipulation tactics are still abuse, even if there are no physical signs. Gain the knowledge and subsequent courage you need to leave your situation and find true happiness, not someone else's definition of it. Learn to detect when your abuser is not acting in your best interest, and exactly how they make you believe that they are. Start re-writing the rules to your abuser's mind games.

Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds


David C. Pollock - 1999
    The book is rich with real-life anecdotes and examines the nature of the TCK kid experience and its effects on maturing, developing a sense of identity, and adjusting to one's passport country upon return. The authors give readers an understanding of the challenges and benefits of the TCK life and provide practical suggestions and advice on maximizing those benefits.

Why Smart Kids Worry: And What Parents Can Do to Help


Allison Edwards - 2013
    Kids who are advanced intellectually often let their imaginations ruin wild and experience fears beyond their years. So what can you do to help?In Why Smart Kids Worry, Allison Edwards guides you through the mental and emotional process of where your child's fears come from and why they are so hard to move past. Edwards focuses on how to parent a child who is both smart and anxious and brings her years of experience as a therapist to give you the answers to questions such as:-How do smart kids think differently? -Should I let my child watch the nightly news on TV? -How do I answer questions about terrorists, hurricanes, and other scary subjects?Edwards's fifteen specially designed tools for helping smart kids manage their fears will help you and your child work together to help him or her to become more relaxed and worry-free.

Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life


Stuart Shanker - 2016
    Rooted in decades of clinical practice and research by leading child psychologist Dr. Stuart Shanker, Self-Reg realigns the power of the parent-child relationship for positive change. Self-regulation is the nervous system's way of responding to stress. We are seeing a generation of children and teens with excessively high levels of stress and, as a result, an explosion of emotional, social, learning, behavior, and physical health problems. But few parents recognize the "hidden stressors" that their children are struggling with: physiological as well as social and emotional. An entrenched view of child rearing is seeing our children as lacking self-control or will-power, but the real basis for these problems lies in excessive stress.Self-regulation can dramatically improve a child's mood, attention, and concentration. It can help children to feel empathy and to develop the sorts of virtues that every parent knows are vital for their child's long-term well-being. Self-regulation brings about profound and lasting transformation that continues to mature throughout life. Shanker translates decades of his findings from working with children into practical, prescriptive advice for parents, giving them concrete ways to develop their self-regulation skills and teach their children how to do the same for optimal learning, social, and emotional growth as well as for overall well-being.

Touchpoints: Birth to 3 : Your Child's Emotional and Behavioral Development


T. Berry Brazelton - 1992
    Brazelton introduces new information on physical, emotional, and behavioral development. He also addresses the new stresses on families and fears of children, with a fresh focus on the role of fathers and other caregivers.

Raising Humans in a Digital World: Helping Kids Build a Healthy Relationship with Technology


Diana Graber - 2019
    all of these potential threats can tempt parents to snatch the smartphone or tablet right out of their children's hands. While avoidance might eliminate the dangers, that approach also means your child misses out on technology's many benefits and opportunities.Raising Humans in a Digital World shows how digital kids must learn to navigate this environment, throughdeveloping social-emotional skillsbalancing virtual and real lifebuilding safe and healthy relationshipsavoiding cyberbullies and online predatorsprotecting personal informationidentifying and avoiding fake news and questionable contentbecoming positive role models and leaders.This book is packed with at-home discussion topics and enjoyable activities that any busy family can slip into their daily routine. Full of practical tips grounded in academic research and hands-on experience, today's parents finally have what they've been waiting for--a guide to raising digital kids who will become the positive and successful leaders our world desperately needs.Praise for Raising Humans in a Digital World"If you need practical, positive advice on how to handle your and your kids' digital lives, look no further. This book tackles the risks and addresses the potential harms, while keeping our eyes on the prize of the remarkable rewards that the online world brings."--Stephen Balkam, founder & CEO, Family Online Safety Institute"Raising Humans in a Digital World is not only a timely book, it's essential reading for every parent, grandparent, and teacher. Diana Graber empowers you through her educational (proven and practical) curriculum and engages you through anecdotal stories."--Sue Scheff, founder of Parents' Universal Resource Experts and author of Shame Nation, Google Bomb, and Wit's End"Brilliant, compelling, and essential are the first words that came to my mind when reading Diana Graber's Raising Humans in a Digital World. Diana not only taps her own exemplary expertise but also assembles a "who's who" of digital thought leaders to deliver a treasure trove of pragmatic advice via an engaging storytelling style."--Alan Katzman, founder and CEO, Social Assurity LLC"Diana Graber not only shows parents how to create safe and responsible relationships in this ever-changing digital world, but she gives them the powerful tools to navigate through the many aspects of what is required to keep kids safe online. The misuse of technology and the cruel behaviors that take place daily by kids and teens can be changed, and Graber shows this in her informative and educational book Raising Humans in a Digital World. The book should be every parent's bible as a resource to ensure that their children are responsible and safe."--Ross Ellis, founder and CEO, STOMP Out Bullying"This beautifully written book gives you the tools to raise healthy kids in a digital world. The anecdotes underscore the thoughtfulness of today's youth and their hunger for learning how to navigate their world well, instead of just being warned off by fearful adults. It is thoughtfully organized and theoretically sound, and will empower parents to have some of those much-needed conversations with their kids."--Dr. Pamela Rutledge, director, Media Psychology Research Center and faculty member, Fielding Graduate University

The End of Average: How We Succeed in a World That Values Sameness


Todd Rose - 2016
    We’re a little taller or shorter than the average, our salary is a bit higher or lower than the average, and we wonder about who it is that is buying the average-priced home. All around us, we think, are the average people—with the average height, the average salary and the average house.But the average doesn’t just influence how we see ourselves—our entire social system has been built around this average-size-fits-all model. Schools are designed for the average student. Healthcare is designed for the average patient. Employers try to fill average job descriptions with employees on an average career trajectory. Our government implements programs and initiatives to serve the average person. For more than a century, we’ve believed that the best way to run our institutions is by focusing on the average person. But when you actually drill down into the numbers, you find an amazing fact: no one is average—which means that our society built for everyone is actually serving no one.In the 1950s, the American Air Force found itself with a massive problem—performance in expensive, custom-made planes was suffering terribly, with crashes peaking at seventeen in a single day. Since the state-of-the-art planes they were flying had been meticulously crafted to fit the average pilot, pilot error was assumed to be at fault. Until, that is, the Air Force investigated just how many of their pilots were actually average. The shocking answer: out of thousands of active-duty pilots, exactly zero were average. Not one. This discovery led to simple solutions (like adjustable seats) that dramatically reduced accidents, improved performance, and expanded the pool of potential pilots. It also led to a huge change in thinking: planes didn’t need to be designed for everyone—they needed to be designed so they could adapt to suit the individual flying them.The End of Average shows how success lies in customizing to our individual needs in all aspects of our lives, from the way we mark tests to the medical treatment we receive. Using principles from The Science of the Individual, it shows how we can break down the average to create individualized success that benefits everyone in the long run. It's time we stopped settling for average, and in The End of Average, Todd Rose will show you how.