Autocorrect FAILS! Text Messaging Autocorrect Gone Horribly Wrong


THE CLOWN FACTORY - 2013
    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.

Squeaky Wheels: the Non-friction Adventure from Sea to Shining Sea


Scott Hippe - 2012
    As the voyage steams (sweats, rather) eastward from Seattle to New York, he meets a diverse, humorous, and motley bunch of individuals in full support of his spirit of adventure, evidence that one's wildest dreams are in fact worth pursuing. The story is a testament to the power of welcoming the stranger and the good that resides in us all. Read it to laugh, read it to learn, or read it simply to remember that you are human.They say once you start pedaling you can't stop. So buckle your helmet, don spandex if you dare, and get ready for the ride of a lifetime.

Remember! (Translated)


Marcel Scharfstein - 2013
    Remember! is an autobiography which recounts Marcel Scharfstein's life experience in the Warsaw Ghetto and in Nazi concentration camps of Poland and Germany during World War II.

Xenophobe's Guide to the Greeks


Alexandra Fiada - 1995
    They exhibit an extreme passion for freedom of choice—which has turned law circumvention into an art and has made them incapable of comprehending words like “discipline,” “co-ordination,” or “system.” There's no such thing as a meek GreekA Greek cannot talk unless he has his hands free, and a soft-spoken Greek is one who can be heard only as far as across the street. Two Greeks having an amiable conversation sound as if they are ready to murder each other, and a party of exuberant Greeks having a good time could be described as a pack of hounds that has just sighted the fox. Free spiritsMercurial in the extreme, the Greeks' temperament flourishes uninhibited throughout their waking hours. This is probably why the ancient sages saw fit to carve their maxims “Nothing in excess” and “Know thyself” on the portals of the Delphic Oracle, in an attempt to persuade their fellow Greeks to curb their emotions. They were not heeded then any more than they are now. How much does a Greek urn?In general, Greeks believe in free trade, fair dealing, and keeping one's word. They are quick at grasping (and inventing) complicated business and financial arrangements and they are past masters in acting as middlemen—which means that they are paid by both parties while risking nothing themselves.

Daddy Loves His Girls


T.D. Jakes - 1996
    Jakes explores the fatherly love God has for His daughters. It offers healing for women with painful pasts, and it gives men the courage to speak the healing power of love to their daughters.

In Search of Nice Americans


Geoff Steward - 2017
    From New York to Alaska, he tries to fend for himself without his trusty PA and life support, the unflappable Charmaine, for whom contentment lies in Jesus Christ and custard creams.With his blend of waspish wit and mischievous charm, Steward seeks out normal Americans, such as Joe le Taxi, the former NYPD officer who was one of the first on the scene at the Twin Towers and now runs an extortionate executive taxi service; Pam and Bob, a paranoid psychiatrist and a failed actor who once saw the back of Meryl Streep s head; Taylor the Alaskan bushwhacker who was raised by wolves and revels in their scat; Jeb the Yosemite inn-sitter who lives his life at the pace of a Ford Model T; Kacey Musgraves, the controversial country music star staying at the farm in Tennessee; and Sheriff Duke of Calhoun County, South Carolina, who reintroduces Steward to the long (and armed) arm of the law.For anyone at a crossroads, contemplating a temporary or permanent career break, this affectionate travel romp is essential reading. Journeying coast-to-coast across the US with Steward might just remind you that, despite the post-Trump hysteria, there are many normal and decent Americans out there

Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth


Jenny McCarthy - 2004
    The New York Times bestseller--never shy, frequently crude and always funny, Jenny McCarthy gives the lowdown on pregnancy in the grittiest girlfriend detail Revealing the naked truth about the tremendous joys, the excruciating pains, and the inevitable disfigurement that go along with pregnancy, Jenny McCarthy tells you what you can really expect when you're expecting! From morning sickness and hormonal rage, to hemorrhoids, granny panties, pregnant sex, and the torture and sweet relief that is delivery, Belly Laughs is must-read comic relief for anyone who is pregnant, has ever been pregnant, is trying to get pregnant, or, indeed, has ever been born!

Your Pregnancy Week by Week


Judith Schuler - 2007
    Doctors recommend it. Reviewers praise it. Pregnant couples rely on it. With over 70 new topics covered, and completely updated throughout to keep up with trends, new products, and safety recommendations, this comprehensive, authoritative, and easy-to-use guide includes:• Detailed descriptions of baby’s developmental milestones each week• Clear illustrations of how both mother and baby are changing and growing• Up-to-date information about medical tests and procedures• Tips on nutrition and lifestyle and the ways actions affect baby• Safe weekly exercises to help mother stay in shape and comfortable• Helpful hints for the father-to-be and information on how a pregnancy affects a couple

Defunctland Guide to the Magic Kingdom


Kevin Perjurer - 2018
    

Screw Calm and Get Angry


Andrews McMeel Publishing - 2010
    You may very well find that getting frustrated and enraged might be the only way to get things changed around here.To help you achieve a new state of mild motivation, Screw Calm and Get Angry brings together several centuries of embattled and embittered epithets. It would seem that across the world and across the centuries, there is plenty of evidence to suggest you're not alone in bemoaning the way the odds are stacked:* On Politics: "The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly,' meaning 'many,' and the word 'ticks,' meaning 'blood sucking parasites.'" --Larry Hardiman* On Work: "By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day." --Robert Frost* On Money: "The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any." --Katherine Whitehorn* On Business: "Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it, and that's true anywhere in the world." --Andrew Young* On War: "You can't say civilization don't advance...for in every war they kill you a new way." --Will Rogers* On Life: "If you wake up and you're not in pain, you know you're dead." --Russian proverbA parody of the famed Keep Calm and Carry On British motivational poster, and featuring the same successful format as our best-selling Keep Calm and Carry On book, Screw Calm and Get Angry is destined to be the motivational mantra for the realists of the world!

I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman


Nora Ephron - 2006
    . ., Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, and Bewitched, and the author of best sellers Heartburn, Scribble Scribble, and Crazy Salad, discusses everything--from how much she hates her purse to how much time she spends attempting to stop the clock: the hair dye, the treadmill, the lotions and creams that promise to slow the aging process but never do. Oh, and she can't stand the way her neck looks. But her dermatologist tells her there's no quick fix for that.Ephron chronicles her life as an obsessed cook, passionate city dweller, and hapless parent. She recounts her anything-but-glamorous days as a White House intern during the JFK years ("I am probably the only young woman who ever worked in the Kennedy White House that the President did not make a pass at") and shares how she fell in and out of love with Bill Clinton--from a distance, of course. But mostly she speaks frankly and uproariously about life as a woman of a certain age.Utterly courageous, wickedly funny, and unexpectedly moving in its truth telling, I Feel Bad About My Neck is a book of wisdom, advice, and laugh-out-loud moments, a scrumptious, irresistible treat.

Mom, Jason's Breathing on Me!: The Solution to Sibling Bickering


Anthony E. Wolf - 2003
    You might never again have to hear the words: "Mommy, Ann drooled on me on purpose." You could have the answer for every "It's not fair!" your kids have ever whined at you. Constant sibling squabbling--and the ensuing demand that you pick a side, quick--can wear parents down and totally drain the fun right out of family life. Now in this groundbreaking book, Dr. Anthony Wolf offers a whole new strategy for coping. In a fresh, funny, and straightforward way, Dr. Wolf presents three essential rules for dealing with sibling arguments--rules that, if followed, completely remove the root causes of bickering. From teasing and hitting to rivalries and boundaries, Dr. Wolf addresses a wide range of issues, and he does it with humor and a pitch-perfect ear for actual kid/parent dialogue. This is a book about real children--who they are, what they want, why they act as they do, and what you can do to alleviate the strife between siblings.

Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters


Mallory Ortberg - 2014
    Everyone knows that if Scarlett O’Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she’d constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she’d text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.

Convert your Minivan into a Mini RV Camper: How to convert a minivan into a comfortable minivan camper motorhome for under $200


William Myers - 2016
    Filled with photos, you'll see how to convert almost any minivan into a comfortable mini RV camper, perfect for short or long term trips. You'll learn that even on a limited budget, you can quickly put together a minivan camper that'll have a comfortable bed, toilet, small kitchen, fridge, TV, fan, plenty of storage, a portable power supply and more. This book shows all the steps and includes photos and a source list of the gear you've been looking for. If you have a minivan or are thinking about getting one and converting it to a camper, you'll want this book!

There Is No You: Seeing Through the Illusion of the Self


Andre Doshim Halaw - 2020