When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man


Edward T. Welch - 1997
    Instead of a biblically guided fear of the Lord, we fear others. Of course, the “fear of man” goes by other names. When we are in our teens, it is called “peer pressure.” When we are older, it is called “people-pleasing.” Recently, it has been called “codependency.” With these labels in mind, we can spot the fear of man everywhere. Diagnosis is fairly straightforward. - Have you ever struggled with peer pressure? “Peer pressure” is simply a euphemism for the fear of man. - Are you over-committed? Do you find that it is hard to say no even when wisdom indicates that you should? Are you are a “people-pleaser,” another euphemism for the fear of man ? - Do you “need” something from your spouse? Do you “need” your spouse to listen to you? Respect you? Think carefully here. Certainly God is pleased when there is good communication and a mutual honor between spouses. But for many people, the desire for these things has roots in something that is far from God’s design for his image-bearers. Unless you understand the biblical parameters of marital commitment, your spouse will become the one you fear. Your spouse will control you. Your spouse will quietly take the place of God in your life. - Is self-esteem a critical concern for you? This, at least in the United States, is the most popular way that the fear of other people is expressed. If self-esteem is a recurring theme for you, chances are that your life revolves around what others think. You reverence or fear their opinions. You need them to buttress your sense of well-being and identity. You need them to fill you up. - Do you ever feel as if you might be exposed as an impostor? Many business executives and apparently successful people do. The sense of being exposed is an expression of the fear of man. It means that the opinions of other people — especially their possible opinion that you are a failure — are able to control you. - Are you always second-guessing decisions because of what other people might think? Are you afraid of making mistakes that will make you look bad in other people’s eyes? - Do you feel empty or meaningless? Do you experience “love hunger”? Here again, if you need others to fill you, you are controlled by them. - Do you get easily embarrassed? If so, people and their perceived opinions probably define you. Or, to use biblical language, you exalt the opinions of others to the point where you are ruled by them. THE problem is clear: People are too big in our lives and God is too small. The answer is straightforward: We must learn to know that our God is more loving and more powerful than we ever imagined. Yet this task is not easy. Even if we worked at the most spectacular of national parks, or the bush in our backyard started burning without being consumed, or Jesus appeared and wrestled a few rounds with us, we would not be guaranteed a persistent reverence of God. Too often our mountain-top experiences are quickly overtaken by the clamor of the world, and God once again is diminished in our minds. The goal is to establish a daily tradition of growing in the knowledge of God.

Discovering the Mind of a Woman: The Key to Becoming a Strong and Irresistable Husband is...


Ken Nair - 1995
    From this point they learn to respond to their wives in a consistent Christlike manner. A radically transformed and renewed marriage is the result.Drawing from his own story and the stories of husbands whose marriages were dissolving, Ken Nair reveals major problems in life and marriage. After discussing the problems, he reveals relationship altering concepts which not only will revive a marriage, they will radiate throughout couple's lives as well.

100 Words of Affirmation Your Husband Needs to Hear


Lisa Jacobson - 2019
    Are you being purposeful in how you use the power of your words to speak encouragement, strength, and love--breathing life into the heart of your spouse? Or are careless words having a negative impact on your marriage and on the heart of the one you love most? Matt and Lisa Jacobson want you and your spouse to discover the powerful ways you can build one another up in love with the words that you choose to say every day--words that every husband and wife need to hear. These books offer you 100 Things to say to your husband or wife that deeply encourage, affirm, and inspire. Start speaking these words into each other's lives and watch your spouse--and your relationship--transform before your eyes.

Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart


John Ensor - 2007
    Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart presents a bold plan for escaping the swift currents of contemporary patterns of hooking up, shacking up, and breaking up. It draws a compelling vision of complementarity between the sexes. It instructs men on what to do and informs women on what to look for in their mutual pursuit of a healthy, tender, long-term relationship.

Every Young Man's Battle: Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation


Stephen Arterburn - 2002
    They're everywhere -- on TV, billboards, magazines, music, the internet and so easy to access that a fella asks, What to do? If a young Christian man is thinking about pre-marital sex and lust, here are the answers.

The Power of a Praying Wife


Stormie Omartian - 1996
    This uplifting resource is packed with practical advice on praying for specific areas of your husband's life, including his decision-making fears spiritual strength role as father, leader faith and future.If you desire a closer relationship with your spouse, you will appreciate the life illustrations, encouraging Bible verses, and the assurances of God's promises and power for your marriage.

The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs You to Be You


Holley Gerth - 2020
    S. Lewis, Max Lucado, and Meryl Streep are all introverts? Even though introverts make up half the population, most people still don't fully understand what it means to be one. Research shows the qualities introverts may see as struggles can be their greatest strengths. Introverts don't need to act more like extroverts to thrive, lead, and make a difference. Instead, they need to truly understand who God created them to be so they can avoid pitfalls like insecurity or anxiety and bravely offer their gifts to the world.In this transformative book, Holley Gerth dives into the brain science behind introversion to help you understand the psychological, relational, and spiritual aspects of being an introvert. She explores how introverts can make meaningful connections, experience quiet confidence, cultivate soul-filling solitude, exercise unexpected influence, and much more.If you're an introvert, or if you love, lead, or share life with an introvert, you need this empowering, insightful book!

Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy


Donald Miller - 2015
    Impressing people wasn't helping him connect with anyone. He'd built a life of public isolation, yet he dreamed of meaningful relationships. So at forty years old he made a scary decision: to be himself no matter what it cost.Scary Close is an audiobook about the risk involved in choosing to impress fewer people and connect with more, about the freedom that comes when we stop acting and start loving. It is a story about knocking down old walls to create a healthy mind, a strong family, and a satisfying career. And it all feels like a conversation with the best kind of friend: smart, funny, true, important.Scary Close is Donald Miller at his best.

31 Days to Great Sex


Sheila Wray Gregoire - 2012
    Then we spend a few days on building emotional intimacy (your friendship), a few days on building physical intimacy (the fireworks, making sex feel wonderful!), a few days on spiritual intimacy (the oneness), and a few days putting habits in place so that you can keep the momentum going once you're done.Sex is so important in a marriage, and yet often we lose hope. It becomes blah. We wonder if we can ever recapture that spark--or if we can ever light that spark in the first place.This series takes you step by step in the process of building a fun and intimate sex life. It doesn't only focus on the mechanics of sex--though there certainly are posts that will help you in that department. It also focuses on building friendship, experiencing real intimacy, and learning to have fun again, just the way God intended.Any two bodies can work together sexually. When we have problems in the bedroom, it's often not because of our bodies. It's usually because we aren't communicating well, or we feel distant from each other, or we're just nervous. The big benefit of this 31 days is that you'll actually TALK and communicate about this important part of your life. Talking about it is difficult to do, but the prompts and the posts make it much easier. That's often when breakthroughs happen!Who will benefit from this book? Newlyweds who want to start off well! Couples for whom life has become blah and too routine Couples who have almost given up hope that sex can become great Couples in conflict because one spouse wants sex more frequently than the otherIn other words--just about every married couple. It doesn't matter where you are in your marriage, the 31 Days to Great Sex will help you talk about sex more, think about intimacy more, and feel much closer together.How does it work?Each day has a topic, like "Embracing the Skin She's In", "Hitting the Reset Button on your Sex Life", or "How Do You Decide Your Sexual Boundaries?" There's a short write-up you read together, and then there's a challenge for you to do, often containing some conversation prompts. And yes--there's plenty in there about how to make sex feel great, too.We're meant to have an abundant marriage--so don't settle for mediocre. Make this the most fun project you'll ever do together as a couple.

Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong and Lasting Marriage


Rob Green - 2016
    Tying the Knot offers soon-to-be-married couples a practical vision of Christ-centered marriage

The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place


Andy Crouch - 2017
    It's about developing wisdom, character, and courage in the way we use digital media rather than accepting technology's promises of ease, instant gratification, and the world's knowledge at our fingertips. And it's definitely not just about the kids.Drawing on in-depth original research from the Barna Group, Andy Crouch shows readers that the choices we make about technology have consequences we may never have considered. He takes readers beyond the typical questions of what, where, and when and instead challenges them to answer provocative questions like, Who do we want to be as a family? and How does our use of a particular technology move us closer or farther away from that goal? Anyone who has felt their family relationships suffer or their time slip away amid technology's distractions will find in this book a path forward to reclaiming their real life in a world of devices.

Surviving in an Angry World: Finding Your Way to Personal Peace


Charles F. Stanley - 2010
    Stanley defines anger as "a strong feeling of intense displeasure, hostility, or indignation as a result of a real or an imagined threat or insult, frustration, or injustice toward yourself or towards someone who’s very important to you." Building on this defintion, Stanley...1. Helps readers identify the signs of anger, so they can identify anger in themselves. 2. Reveals the far-reaching consequences of anger, which encompass the spiritual, emotional, and physical. 3. Teaches readers how to handle anger through thirteen concrete steps.4. Walks readers through the steps to true forgiveness and the healing power it brings.With compassion and a wealth of biblical understanding, Stanley explains that the measure of a person is "the size of thing that makes them angry." He goes on to distinguish between healthy and harmful anger and reminds us that "righteous indignation" is a divine emotion. However, he skillfully explains that misguided anger eats away at ourselves, our relationships with others, and our relationship with God. By helping readers look honestly at the source of their anger, he gently leads them to the ability to truly forgive and find the peace they seek.

Marriage Matters: Extraordinary Change through Ordinary Moments


Winston T. Smith - 2010
    She brought up a past mistake. He walked out angry. She left without saying good-bye. An ordinary day in an ordinary marriage. But what if things could be different? What if the moments that seem the most ordinary moments of annoyance, conflict, pain, or cold indifference could become moments in which you're able to understand God's incredible agenda for love and begin to do something new?Winston T. Smith, drawing on his extensive experience as a marriage counselor, offers a simple yet powerful prescription for changing your marriage. He shows how examining the everyday disappointments and irritations in your marriage will help you understand yourself, your spouse, and your need for God's love. Change begins with seeing day-to-day interactions from a different perspective, taking simple steps to love one another more effectively, and then learning how to take those steps over and over again. Interactions that used to devolve into pointless annoyances and fights can become an opportunity for God's activity and love to become increasingly evident and powerful.The principles in this book will take your marriage to extraordinary places and lead you into a deeper relationship with an extraordinary God. Don't settle for an ordinary marriage, learn to live out God's extraordinary love in your most intimate relationship.

The Storm-Tossed Family: How the Cross Reshapes the Home


Russell D. Moore - 2018
    Family is difficult because family—every family—is an echo of the gospel. Family can be the source of some of the most transcendent human joy, and family can leave us crumpled up on the side of the road. Family can make us who we are, and family can break our hearts. Why would this social arrangement have that much power, for good or for ill, over us?

The Dude's Guide to Marriage: Ten Skills Every Husband Must Develop to Love His Wife Well


Darrin Patrick - 2015
    Of course, if you’re married, a much better question is, “What does your wife want?”As Darrin and Amie Patrick reveal in this profoundly practical and transformational book, God designed your wife to want—to need—to be loved. And that design is an invitation for you to love her deeply, intentionally and passionately.Practicing ten powerful actions—including listening, pursuing, and serving—will transform you into your wife’s lifelong champion and have her nominating you for the Husband Hall of Fame. The Dude’s Guide to Marriage is for guys who want to grow, who want clear steps to improving their marriage. It’s for men who want a marriage that thrives rather than just survives. Grab this guide, and get ready to be a better husband by becoming a better man.