Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”

    A look at over 400 of the best historical movies (and some of the worst) purporting to be ‘factual’ or ‘based on actual events’; and how Hollywood has distorted, altered, manipulated, exaggerated, even falsified history under the all-encompassing premise…based on a true story…

    Two recent college graduates move to New York to edit a new magazine called The National Lampoon. Over the next decade, Henry Beard and Doug Kenney, along with a loose amalgamation of fellow satirists including Michael O’Donoghue and P. J. O’Rourke, popularized a smart, caustic, ironic brand of humor that has become the dominant voice of American comedy.Ranging from sophisticated political satire to broad raunchy jokes, the National Lampoon introduced iconoclasm to the mainstream, selling millions of copies to an audience both large and devoted. Its excursions into live shows, records, and radio helped shape the anarchic earthiness of John Belushi, the suave slapstick of Chevy Chase, and the deadpan wit of Bill Murray, and brought them together with other talents such as Harold Ramis, Christopher Guest, and Gilda Radner. A new generation of humorists emerged from the crucible of the Lampoon to help create Saturday Night Live and the influential film Animal House, among many other notable comedy landmarks.Journalist Ellin Stein, an observer of the scene since the early 1970s, draws on a wealth of revealing, firsthand interviews with the architects and impresarios of this comedy explosion to offer crucial insight into a cultural transformation that still echoes today. Brimming with insider stories and set against the roiling political and cultural landscape of the 1970s, That’s Not Funny, That’s Sick goes behind the jokes to witness the fights, the parties, the collaborations—and the competition—among this fraternity of the self-consciously disenchanted. Decades later, their brand of subversive humor that provokes, offends, and often illuminates is as relevant and necessary as ever.

    Author Bob Fenster has captured all their hilarious, behind-the-scenes antics in They Did What!? Consider, for example:o The Beach Boys originally wanted to call their group the Pendletons, so they could get free shirts from the Oregon clothing manufacturer.o At her wedding, movie star Lana Turner had "I love you" spelled out in pimentos in the sides of baked hams.o Before they hit it big in the movies, Angelina Jolie studied to be a funeral director and Sean Connery polished coffins.Filled with hundreds of fascinating escapades and interesting idiosyncrasies, They Did What!? also looks at issues associated with fame, such as "Why do famous people marry other famous people?" and includes tongue-in-cheek lessons we can learn from celebrities, like "How to become famous and still get into heaven."

    Satirist Leland Gregory teaches us a lesson in historical hilarity with Stupid American History.From Columbus to George W. Bush (that's a lot of material, people), Leland leads us through American history's mythconceptions, exposing idiocy and inanity along the time line. He reeducates by informing us about myths. For example, Samuel Prescott actually was the guy to alert us that the British were coming and not that Paul Revere dude. Move over Colbert and Stewart; satire has finally found its rightful place in American history.Excerpt from the book:"John Tyler was on his knees playing marbles when he was informed that Benjamin Harrison had died and he was now president of the United States. At that time marbles was a very popular game for both children and grown-ups."For reasons still unknown, Texas congressman Thomas Lindsay Blanton, a Presbyterian Sunday school teacher and prohibitionist, inserted dirty words into the Congressional Record in 1921. His colleagues overwhelmingly censured him on October 24, 1921, by a vote of 293-0."

    . . when you were little, you learned that everyone poops. But did you ever discover how much? Well, sit down on that cold porcelain throne and get ready to laugh your butt off at the most amazing, hilarious, need-to-go facts on the one thing everyone does--but nobody talks about. Filled to the rim with piles of fascinating dirty fun, this illustrated kids' book for grown-ups answers all the questions you never thought to ask: •How do astronauts poop in space? •Where does poop go after you flush? •Why can I see the corn but not the chicken? •Can I light my poop on fire? •Who invented the first flushing toilet? •What's the poop on Michael Jackson, Elvis and John Wayne?

    Now, to celebrate a decade of delighting opera fans and foes alike, musical historian and humorist David Barber has prepared a special revised and expanded edition of his hilarious bestselling history of opera. Chapters such as Serious Buffoonery, Teutonic Tunesmiths and, of course, Italian Sausage Machines display Barber's rapier wit and knack for knowing fascinating, if sometimes useless, information about music, musicians and the offbeat world they live in. This expanded edition includes new material ranging from Strauss to ragtime, opera to the Tenor Menace. From Italian castrati to German Ring-bearers, from Handel's fights with rival sopranos to Puccini's nicotine habit, the author of Bach, Beethoven and the Boys and Tenors, Tantrums and Trills delivers a funny yet informative, irreverent yet affectionate history of serious music's most serious art form as only he can - and as only he would dare to do.

    Based on his column in the acclaimed magazine "mental_floss," this collection of conversations is incredibly funny, but each interview is also based on serious research, so in addition to laughing, readers actually learn real history. "The Dead Guy Interviews" includes discussions with: Alexander the Great Beethoven Napol?on Bonaparte Buddha Julius Caesar Caligula George Washington Carver Catherine the Great Winston Churchill Cleopatra Confucius Crazy Horse Salvador Dal? Charles Darwin Emily Dickinson Albert Einstein Benjamin Franklin Sigmund Freud Genghis Khan Vincent van Gogh Henry VIII J. Edgar Hoover Harry Houdini Thomas Jefferson Joan of Arc Robert Johnson Frida Kahlo Leonardo da Vinci Abraham Lincoln Mao Tse-tung Karl Marx Michelangelo Montezuma Mozart Nostradamus Edgar Allan Poe William Shakespeare Sun Tzu Mae West Oscar Wilde

    But are they? He is probably the only man who has ever requested the recipe for an airline’s lasagna or wanted to enjoy his flight with an inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. Prepare to meet the man who must have his diet of stir-fried mulberry leaves accommodated and the man who left his false teeth on a flight and is sure he recognized them on a later flight—in a flight attendant's mouth. Ravenscroft's correspondence tackles travel annoyances like excess baggage charges alongside more surreal letters, such as the one starting out asking an Australian airline if they offer an authentic Australian experience (for instance, Australian cuisine or in-flight movies) which then moves on to the question of at what age a baby is safe from being swallowed by a dingo.

    Because a pair of drawstring sweatpants could bring about your most embarrassing moment. And a toothpick in your sandwich can be the deadliest of weapons. Including hundreds of bizarre-but-true things that can get you, this compact volume will induce nervous page flipping and make even the most snug and secure folks bonafide paranoiacs. Chilling black and white photographs document the everyday items that menace your safety. But whether it's archibutyrophobia (the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth) or phobophobia (the fear of fear itself) that eventually gets you, don't be afraid to buy this book. You never know what might happen to you if you don't.

    But did Dad ever tell you that it wasn't a stork that put that shiny can opener in your kitchen drawer? Or paperclips started out as proud, Nazi-fighting warriors? And did he tell you how cruise control was originally conceived by a blind genius? From mullets to Silly Putty, lie detectors to karaoke, we've got the true stories behind everything you didn't think had stories. Because if you're looking for answers, In the Beginning is the place to start.

    

    It’ll have you scratching your head wondering why we even bother to go to school.Think Magellan was the first man to circumnavigate the globe, baseball was invented in America, Henry VIII had six wives, Mount Everest is the tallest mountain? Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong again. You’ll be surprised at how much you don’t know! Check out THE BOOK OF GENERAL IGNORANCE for more fun entries and complete answers to the following:How long can a chicken live without its head?About two years.What do chameleons do?They don’t change color to match the background. Never have; never will. Complete myth. Utter fabrication. Total Lie. They change color as a result of different emotional states.How many legs does a centipede have?Not a hundred.How many toes has a two-toed sloth?It’s either six or eight.Who was the first American president?Peyton Randolph.What were George Washington’s false teeth made from?Mostly hippopotamus.What was James Bond’s favorite drink?Not the vodka martini.

     The ship was called “magnificent”, consuming as much as one hundred forty tons of coal every day even if it just stands still on the dock, and standing seven stories tall from dock to bridge. She was considered by engineers and shipbuilders as one of the finest examples of man’s ingenuity and creativity. In addition, out of all the ships that were converted for use in the war, the Lusitania was the only one that was exempted and continued on as a cruise ship. However, its job of carrying passengers across the Atlantic Ocean was not the thing that made her famous today. Read more.... Download your copy today! for a limited time discount of only $2.99! Available on PC, Mac, smart phone, tablet or Kindle device. © 2015 All Rights Reserved by Unlimited Press Works, LLC

    Back then 'The Origins of the Industrial Revolution' somehow seemed less compelling than the chance to test the bold claim on Timothy Johnson's 'Shatterproof' ruler. But here at last is a chance to have a good laugh and learn all that stuff you feel you really ought to know by now...In this "Horrible History for Grown Ups", you can read how Anglo-Saxon liberals struggled to be positive about immigration; 'Look I think we have to try and respect the religious customs of our new Viking friends - oi, he's nicked my bloody ox!' Discover how England's peculiar class system was established by some snobby French nobles whose posh descendants still have wine cellars and second homes in the Dordogne today. And explore the complex socio-economic reasons why Britain's kings were the first in Europe to be brought to heel; (because the Stuarts were such a useless bunch of untalented, incompetent, arrogant, upper-class thickoes that Parliament didn't have much choice.) A book about then that is also incisive and illuminating about now, "2000 Years of Upper Class Idiots in Charge" is a hilarious, informative and cantankerous journey through Britain' fascinating and bizarre history. It is as entertaining as a witch burning, and a lot more laughs.