And this time he's got a baby. William Walker loves his gorgeous wife and new son – even if he did faint at the birth. What man wouldn't, after two whole days of labour and only one small sip of (medicinal) whiskey to sustain him? But now he's a father, and a proud one at that. It's just a shame that parenthood doesn't stop him doing the wrong thing at precisely the wrong time, with comically catastrophic results for his small – and increasingly exasperated – family.This hilarious romantic comedy will have you laughing out loud as William battles everything from floods to the Machiavellian denizens of a sinister Kentish village with more than a few hints of Royston Vasey…

    Welcome to a world of crude cartoon and misplaced melodrama; a world free of all but the most trifling of consequences, where exaggerated sensitivity is rife and a semester’s success or suicide hangs on the whim of a woman. Young Tommo wiles away his evenings in a purple drunken stupor, lost to the tender mercies of what he desperately wishes was a hopeless love affair, but in reality isn’t even that. Gristle, meanwhile, is enraged when his weak-bladdered housemate Spadge moves out, only to be replaced by a neurotic freak named Jamal, who dares not only to bring books into his house, but to read them too.And for poor Will, matters are even worse. Women are staying in of a night! How’s he supposed to rack up his ‘tally’ of conquests if women daren’t leave their digs? They’re all terrified that they’ll be the next to fall prey to the invisible menace that has started stealing students away from the streets of Hull. Will has nothing to fear though – after all, he has his recently arrived destitute father to watch his back. And the fearsome Gristle. And the zealously neurotic Jamal. And the dangerously depressed Tom…The Student Bubble is about to burst, and when it does, the degenerate residents of 146 Worthington Street will find themselves drowning in a reality that they’re not equipped to comprehend, let alone survive in.

    Originally published by Palliard Press.

    The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.

    after a cleaner unplugged his cryogenic freezing machine by accident, Detective Inspector Capstan wakes up to find that he's been in a state of suspended animation for over four hundred years. As he's forced to adjust to life in the future he finds himself reinstated as a policeman, and together with the great great great great grandson of his former subordinate, Sergeant Dewbush, he's put on the case of a missing cow.

    The series is designed to be read in order, and you should read part 1 first (Strange Sanctuary). The complete series box set is also available —Blackburn Manor hides a terrifying and unnatural secret. Evil just got a new address…After months on the run from an abusive relationship, Linda Green is ready to slow down and start her life over again. Exhausted from ever-present fear and stress, she yearns for the peace that a fresh start can bring. A fresh start she hopes to find at Blackburn Manor.The lush green trees and serene nature surrounding the manor feel so calming to her frazzled soul that Linda is ready to take advantage of everything this peaceful oasis has to offer. No internet, no distractions. It’s perfect.Until she sees the faces in the window.Not one to believe much in the supernatural, Linda shrugs it off as just a feeling. But the longer she’s at the manor, the more the feeling of uneasiness grows. From the creepy old neighbor who watches her every move to the moving shadows and unexplained phone calls in the middle of the night, something is just not right.She can trust no one. Not even herself.As Linda begins to uncover the history of the place, she is sure that something strange is going on at Blackburn Manor. Something sinister that hides in the shadows, deep within walls cloaked with secrets.Something that will stop at nothing to keep those secrets hidden.The Haunting of Blackburn Manor is a chilling supernatural tale of what happens when a woman’s search for sanctuary turns into a desperate and terrifying attempt to save her own life. Evil truly has a new address...- Part One: Strange Sanctuary (released on March 4th);- Part Two: Voices in the Night (released on March 11th);- Part Three: Secrets in the Dark (released on March 18th);- Part Four: Legend and Lore (released on March 25th);- Part Five: A Call from the Beyond (released on April 1st);- Part Six: Ashes to Ashes (released on April 8th).Don’t miss the second installment of the Haunting of Blackburn Manor, a six-part series of suspense, supernatural horror and mystery.New to the series? Start with Strange Sanctuary, part One of The Haunting of Blackburn Manor.

     Will her time at the haunted Leaf Academy change all that? Award-winning photographer Jocelyn Graves gets an invitation to document the Leaf Academy, but she may get more than she bargained for in this spooky location. There's music coming from the rotting auditorium, doppelgangers have made an appearance, and there is a ghost boy who haunts the place. But is he a forgotten victim, or is he really a negative entity masquerading as a sad child? There's a mysterious saying carved into the stone above the door, and Jocelyn discovers black feathers in strange locations. The Leaf Academy is a puzzle Jocelyn needs an answer to--before the sun comes up. The photographer is about to get the shock of her life and meet an entity she will never forget. Although she will wish she could. The October People is a Gulf Coast Paranormal Extra and a standalone novella.  Read all the Gulf Coast Paranormal books and meet the entire paranormal investigation team.  Gulf Coast Paranormal Series The Ghosts of Kali Oka Road The Ghosts of the Crescent Theater A Haunting on Bloodgood Row  And so many more!  Scroll up and grab your copy of THE OCTOBER PEOPLE!

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    Together with Yorkshire terrier Ben-Ben and former archenemy Patches the cat, Riley struggles to keep the zombies at bay while helping her favorite human, Jessie, as they travel cross-country. They are a rag-tag group of survivors, who, when pushed to the limit, realize that they are all each other has. Books 1-4 + a bonus short story Pulse

    He’s started telling the truth at work. He’s borrowed a stack of cash from a man with a gun, a speech impediment and no grasp whatsoever of APR. He’s also taking drugs and – God help him – he’s started dancing. Badly. To trance. And now he’s on the run with a human version of Muttley and a teenage girl called Fish.Which is strange, because a few weeks ago Murray didn’t even burn the candle at one end. But when his doctors tell him he has only months to live, he gives his boring old self the boot, relaunches a new, improved Murray and falls in love with a passion he didn’t know was in him.His old self, of course, would tell him he’s digging his own grave. But he’ll be needing one of those soon enough anyway, won’t he?

    First responders share unique baby names, we hear stories about clueless newbies, bitter veterans, and patients with good intentions but bad ideas. We also hear more about the not-so-happy side of this industry. Grab a blanket, a mug of hot chocolate, and cozy up in front of the fire to catch up with submissions from people like you!

    Then they came. And everything changed.Through an innocent act of mischief, a trio of an ancient witches is unleashed in the small town of Clayton, New Mexico.Years later, a dust storm suddenly appears across a stretch of Interstate 412, creating a massive crash that includes Chris Boylin and his daughter, Jaycee. They are uninjured, but while Chris goes to assist others who were not so lucky, his daughter disappears.In the thick air of the storm, just before the clouds clear, Chris sees a pair of haunting shapes outlined in a glow of light.The search for Jaycee dead ends, but a website article about an abduction in 1939--one eerily similar to Jaycee's--leads Chris to an elderly man named Arthur Richland, whose terrifying childhood story of his sister Ruby just might be the answer to saving a missing girl's life.What came with the storm? And are they responsible for the mysterious disappearances?Do not miss this creepy new tale from the author readers are comparing to Dean Koontz and Stephen King. Grab your copy today and prepare to be swept into a story you won't soon forget.They Came with the Storm is a standalone novel, not part of a series.

    One now roams the Spanish countryside, feeding on robbers and bandits, while the other hides in a cave on the slopes of Mt. Vesuvius, experimenting with his newfound powers. Neither has thought much about the other over the last eighteen years. But Baella, the ancient renegade, has plans for the pair, and her plans don’t involve letting the two live out their lives in relative peace. Through her treachery, they are reunited in Pompeii, but not even Baella can stop the coming cataclysm. Powerful forces are rising in the world of the Bachiyr, and Taras and Theron may find themselves caught up in something much bigger than they can imagine. That is, if either of them survive the mountain’s fiery anger.

    Keating the vampire used to love the stories that humans would write about his species. They had endlessly amused him.Madeline De Martine had changed all that though. From terrifying, bloodthirsty creatures of the night... to maudlin, effeminate idiots obsessed with adolescent American girls, De Martine's blockbuster romances had irrevocably ruined the image of the vampire as far as Keating was concerned.So tonight he's paying the multi-millionaire writer a visit to offer some constructive feedback, and show her the error of her ways... Dogs Of War Giving interactive gameplay a whole new meaning. Disaster... Epic. Huge. Unmitigated. Disaster. Zack Hampton's beloved Gamestation console has just committed electronic suicide - right in the middle of a hectic multiplayer Dogs Of War game.Where the hell is he supposed to find another one the week before Christmas? All the shops have sold out! Imagine Zack's delight when he stumbles on a quaint Christmas shop, run by the enigmatic Mister Fix... and discovers a unique 'special edition' Gamestation on sale for a bargain price. Following a very strange conversation with the old shopkeeper, Zack buys the console and rushes home to rejoin the online mayhem as quickly as possible. This Gamestation is very special though, and Zack is about to take part in a game of Dogs Of War he is never going to forget. I, Zombie A story of the thinking dead. 'My name is Jim Monroe and I am a zombie. My natural life on this planet has ceased and I've been re-animated to stalk the world as a pale, grotesque imitation of my former self. I'm different from my undead brethren though... I'm a zombie with a brain. This is the short, shocking story of how I came to be this way.'Spine Slaughter When hedgehogs attack! On a warm summer's day, the village of Wincing On Thames is attacked by the most unlikely of blood thirsty monsters.Hoards of deadly hedgehogs are on the loose, with a taste for human flesh. Can hockey stick wielding Jason, Scab the punk and their friends survive the onslaught? And what turned these normally placid little animals into creatures from the darkest of nightmares?

    All he wants is to get his leg-over occasionally with his wife, Helen, and to lose enough weight to be able to see his genitals without having to hold his stomach out of the way. So when Carol (the randy work colleague and fellow food lover) who almost seduced him the night before, turns up at his home and introduces herself to his wife, he begins to wonder whether life is playing a cruel practical joke on him. As Carol seems determined to make his life a misery for turning her down, and he's about to discover something's going horribly wrong in the trouser department too, he could very well be right. If that weren’t enough to have him reaching for the comfort food, he also has to contend with an oversexed son who's using the soapy bathroom sponge for something other than cleaning purposes. Plus a daughter who having just discovered boys has started dating a six foot ginger gorilla with huge bushy sideburns. Not forgetting his neighbour’s cat, a vengeful pigeon, a gang of feral children and a vigilante sausage dog. Lust, Lies and Lemon Drizzle: Eric Baxter's continuing struggle with life, love, and his ever expanding waistline. Sequel to the UK Amazon bestseller: Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes