The Shire are lucky if all eleven players make it to a game, they have an average home attendance at their dilapidated Firs Park ground of 200 and they ended the 2004/05 season bottom of the Scottish Third Division - for the third consecutive year. Granted access to all areas, Jeff Connor gets into the dressing room, the board room and the dug-out. But, above all, he gets into the spirit of the club. He began the season a scoffing cynic and finished it lost in admiration for one of the dottiest sporting institutions in Britain as the Shire attempted to reach the promised land - SECOND bottom of the Scottish Third Division. At times funny, sad, heart-warming and embarrassing, as events on and off the pitch unfold, Pointless is an unmissable insight into a unique football team

    From his earliest recollections, Page Falkinburg wanted to be like the Saturday afternoon heroes that he watched on TV from the floor of his grandmother's living room. He defied the odds and swayed his critics along the way, climbing the ladder of the largest spectator entertainment sports production in the world today. It was in 1985 that I met a guy who told me his name was Page ... like a book. Like most people who meet him, I knew that there was something very different about Page Falkinburg. He is cocky, and at the same time, he's humble. He is "over the top," but somehow remains "down to earth." One of the toughest "sons of bitches" you'll ever meet, Page can shock you with his sensitivity and compassion. He is an example of good old-fashioned hard work and personal commitment, but at the same time, is able to help create and better the futures of others. Almost fifteen years later, Positively Page serves as a look at that unforgettable guy who possessed the power to rise above adversity and reach his dream.

    His experience was not the little league, boys-of-summer stuff of modern America. For him, it was life and death. Now middleaged and living in California, Alan finds himself coaching a team of eight-year-olds in his beloved sport—and nothing is going right. For a start, the kids are no good at soccer. Secondly, they’re pampered. Born and bred on the sport, Black’s hardscrabble Scottish upbringing consisted of playing tough and victory at all costs. Needless to say, his coaching methods are a far cry from the “winning isn’t everything” mentality his little leaguers have been reared with; and players and parents alike are shocked as Black attempts to transform the losing team through drills and bombast. Alone at night, watching evangelicals on TV, Black finds himself searching for some truth in the culture he finds so bizarre. And it’s with the Tigers that he feels most out of sync—faced with a mix of soft suburban children, a raft of overprotective parents, and an Iranian co-coach called Ali. Told with Black’s uproarious Scottish sensibility, Kick the Balls follows the abrasive, irreverent, and hilarious coach as he contends with a team that winds up with a zero-win record. Both a celebration of his own tough childhood and an account of one man’s navigation of an alien culture, Kick the Balls will delight fans of well-told, laugh-out-loud memoirs.

    Born with achondroplasia, a condition that causes disproportionate dwarfism, Dylan Postl had endured multiple surgeries by the age of 12. And yet, he held on to the dream that he would one day become a professional wrestler. Ignoring the naysayers and against doctors' recommendations, Dylan began training in his teens, and he soon began appearing on local independent shows. Before he turned 20, he was signed by the world leader in sports-entertainment, WWE, to play the role of Irish grappler Finlay's feisty sidekick, Hornswoggle, and remained a firm fixture in the company for a full decade.While most of Dylan's adult life has been spent in the wild world of the wrestling industry, Life Is Short is more than a story of a little person's journey through a world of giants; it's a memoir of elation and anguish, triumph and disappointment, and of how an endlessly positive outlook combined with the unwavering support of family and friends helped him become a success in his industry and a loving, responsible father. It's a story about a man who still loves wrestling -- but loves his family above all else.

    Now take those events and transfer them to a volcanic rock with cruel winds, searing sun, rough seas and nosebleed-inducing hills, and you have Ironman Lanzarote. Why, then, would Andy Holgate – who admittedly has never swum in the sea, who can’t cope with the wind, sun or even stairs – take on such an extreme challenge? Simple: Because he can. Can’t Sleep, Can’t Train, Can’t Stop! continues Andy’s inspirational journey from where Can’t Swim, Can’t Ride, Can’t Run left off, chronicling his attempt to complete two Ironman triathlons six weeks apart. Already in his fortieth year, would Andy make it to his forty-first? Would Lanzarote prove one triathlon too far – or will Andy succeed against the odds and live to swim, ride and run another day?

    These were the athletes in the Olympic marathon. So how did he end up with a bronze medal? How did he win the London marathon? And why does he still hold the English record for the distance?In this remarkable autobiography, he explains how -- how someone who was almost the bottom of the class when he first went to school, and even worse at sport, eventually turned himself into a world-class athlete, competing in top marathons all over the world, and genuinely going from last to first.As well as the enthralling life story of one of our finest distance runners, this book is a wonderfully clear and inspiring piece of life coaching for anyone who wants to make the most of their talents. But more than this, as Spedding says at the start, 'I believe that on occasions you can create the circumstances in which you can perform at a higher level than your talent says you can.' Spedding's own story, and his chronicle of the big races he excelled in, proves it's trueFor anyone aspiring to run a marathon, or indeed anyone who wants to set themselves a goal they think beyond their reach -- and achieve it -- this is an essential book.

      The biggest games, the biggest trades, the juiciest rumours—chances are Duthie is the guy you tuned in to hear talk about them. There are other experts and insiders, stats guys and analysts, but no one else who can talk about sports with the humour, the knowledge, and the charisma Duthie brings to every event he covers. He also makes the best spoof videos.The Guy on the Left tells the story of Duthie’s career in broadcasting, from a nerdy appearance on a game show to chatting with Tiger Woods in the men’s room at The Masters. It’s a behind-the-scenes look at celebrated moments like Sidney Crosby’s famous game-winning goal at the Vancouver Olympics, but also less celebrated insights, like the disclosure that sports broadcasters often aren’t wearing pants on air. There are stories about goofing around with NHL superstars like Roberto Luongo and Anze Kopitar. There are also stories about wandering into the wrong house after walking his dog and surprising his neighbour in her underwear. His stories can also be serious. Tragedy strikes more than once in the sports world. Most notably, he had to go to air on the evening of September 11, 2001. His reflections on the way sport is part of all of our lives, from the athletes and sports figures on the planes to the kids who lost coaches and parents, are a powerful reminder of both the importance of sport and how lucky we all are to be part of it. Funny, thoughtful, self-deprecating, and wry, The Guy on the Left is everything fans love about James Duthie.

    Here, featuring gloriously pseudo-scientific diagrams and the inimitable writing style that made footballcliches.com a smash hit, they are covered in all their glory.

    Twenty-three-year old Paul Gascoigne has been one of the breakout stars of the tournament. His athleticism, speed of thought and incredible natural gifts have given England fans renewed faith in their perennially underachieving national side. Then in the 99th minute of a tense semi-final against Germany, Gascoigne lunges into a mistimed tackle. The ref awards him his second yellow card of the tournament, meaning that if England were to win, he would miss the final. Gascoigne turns away, tries to hold it together, but can’t. Floods of tears run down his face. We understand. We feel his pain and anguish. The legend of Gazza is born. Two years later, after an injury-stricken season at Spurs, he arrives at Lazio for a then record transfer fee. Expectations are sky high; he is welcomed as a footballing Messiah by the Roman fans. But all is not what it seems. There are doubts over his fitness, doubts over how he will adjust to life in Italy, doubts over whether his obvious potential can finally be achieved. The three subsequent years in Italy, shot through with incredible highs and self-inflicted lows, show Gascoigne in all his complexity – an immense natural talent flawed by a too-fragile personality.In Gazza in Italy, award-winning writer Daniel Storey brilliantly shines a light on an unexamined moment in Gascoigne’s career that encapsulates everything that we have come to associate with this most mercurial of talents: childish joy, public gaffes, wondrous skill and saddening self-destruction. Funny and harrowing in equal measure, this book allows us a better, more rounded understanding of one of our greatest sporting idols, and of a tragically misunderstood human being.

    Here, he recalls the glorious memories of his record-breaking career at Manchester United, as well as highlights from his international career with Wales. Giggsy's words bring 20 seasons of pictures to life, as the most decorated player in English football history relives 11 Premier League wins, four FA Cup successes, three League Cup winner's medals, and two Champions League victories, and remembers the people who have helped to make him a true sporting great.

    That first year was the epitome of Raiders football-- the silver-and-black team of renegades steamrolled opponents and defeated the Washington Redskins in the Super Bowl. For nearly ten years, Huizenga lived in the real NFL trenches, a battlefield atmosphere where getting hurt and partying hard was the name of the game. Jam-packed with close-up anecdotes about football's warriors, this book reveals:* The mind games and methods of mysterious Raiders owner Al Davis* The truth about drug and steroid use in the NFL* The pressure on players to perform even when threatened by serious injury* Harrowing and hilarious true stories about the side of football fans never see* The wild life and tragic death of Lyle Alzado

    This is what football is really about. One man’s story of a career in the lower leagues.Chris Hargreaves has been a professional footballer for twenty years. Having started out as a youth team player at Everton he made his debut for Grimsby Town in 1989 and was earmarked as their first million pound sale.It never happened.Instead he went on to play for Scarborough, Hull City, West Brom, Hereford United, Plymouth Argyle, Northampton Town, Brentford, Oxford United and Torquay United.Where's Your Caravan? is the sort of football memoir we don't see enough of these days - an account of life in the lower leagues. It takes us from his wild youth - lots of sex and drugs and drink - through to domesticated family man - school runs and flatpack furniture with plenty of football in between.

    Including exclusive interviews with Wenger, former and current players, family, colleagues, and observers from across Japan, France, and England, this completely authorized and definitive biography is a testament to his success and dedication in the field—and to the loyalty of players and fans. This incisive account of the man famous for bringing free-flowing soccer to "boring, boring Arsenal" reveals Wenger as a standout in an industry of disposable contracts and ruthless politics, and is essential reading for fans of the game.

    A must for anyone who's interested in the business of laughter.' JOE LYCETT'The funniest book I've read in years.' ADAM KAYFrom a childhood spent making smoke bombs, killing wasps and carving soap in 70s Kent, Harry Hill then found himself in charge of hundreds of sick people as a junior doctor. Out of his depth and terrified, he chucked it all in to pursue his dream of becoming a stand-up comedian. Battling his way through the 90s Comedy circuit he quickly rose to become a household name and one of the UK's most celebrated comics, almost making it to the top of the showbiz tree . . .From being chased around a car park by an angry heckler, getting fired from Capital Radio and watching every episode of Freaky Eaters, to a bizarre assassination attempt and cutting up Simon Cowell's trousers, Harry takes an honest and hilarious look at the ups and downs of his life and career through the lens of what didn't go right.He shares his secrets on how to be a great comedian, finding joy in failure and creativity in struggle, whilst never forgetting that life is short . . . What readers are saying about Fight! 'Hilarious... recommended unreservedly' *****'Lots of laughs and memories of days gone by' *****'A great book... I could not put it down' *****'Beautifully written and great fun' *****

    At 16, Paul Ferris becomes Newcastle United's youngest-ever first-teamer. Like many a tricky winger from Northern Ireland, he is hailed as 'the new George Best'.As a player and later a physio and member of the Magpies' managerial team, Paul's career acquaints him not only with Kevin Keegan, Kenny Dalglish and Bobby Robson, Ruud Gullit, Paul Gascoigne and Alan Shearer but also with injury, insecurity and disappointment.Yet this autobiography is more than a tale of the vagaries of sporting fortune. It begins during 'The Troubles' in a working-class Catholic family in the Protestant town of Lisburn, near Belfast. After a childhood scarred by his mother's illness and sectarian hatred, Paul meets the love of his life, his future wife Geraldine. Talented and carefree on the pitch, shy and anxious off it, he earns a tilt at stardom. His first spell at Newcastle turns sour, as does his return as a physio, although obtaining a Masters degree shows him what he could achieve away from football.When Paul qualifies as a barrister, a career in Law beckons. Instead, a craving to prove himself in the game draws him back to St James' Park as part of Shearer's management triumvirate - with unfortunate consequences.Written with brutal candour, dark humour and consummate style, The Boy on the Shed is a riveting and moving account of a life less ordinary