Instead he is there for the long haul, bringing up his three children, and doing his best for his small community

    The column “Offbase,” formally known as “Humor in Uniform,” has appeared in the Reader's Digest magazine for over half a century, and has published more than 3,500 jokes, quotes, and funny stories from the more than a million readers who have submitted them. This volume—from the world’s #1 source of humor—contains laugh-out-loud gems from one of Reader’s Digest’s most popular columns. This side-splitting collection of humor delivers hundreds of the best jokes, anecdotes, cartoons, quotes, and stories from men and women in the armed forces or their families proving that life is often funnier than fiction. Such as:·         From a Family Member: My son regaled me with stories about how they do things in the modern Air Force. Being an old Air Force man myself, I scoffed at their complicated methods. “That’s not the way we did it when I was in the service,” I said. “Yeah,” he shot back. “But when you were in, there were only two pilots, Wilbur and Orville”       — Ted Shirley·         From an Army Soldier: Our Army Unit was overseas conducting maneuvers with the Marines. On shift one night, a Marine asked my sergeant where he was from. “I’m originally from Central America,” said the sergeant. “Oh, yeah?” asked the Marine. “Kansas?”— David Denbek·         From Iraq: At the end of a tough day in Iraq, my daughter, the airman, collapsed onto the first seat in the transport truck, forcing everyone else to climb over her. “Private!” hollered the sergeant, “Skinny girls get in the back so when we men get on with our weapons and equipment, we don’t have to climb over you. Have I made myself clear?” Suddenly my daughter perked up, “Do you really think I’m skinny?”—    Margaret Culbertson·         About the Military: A soldier stationed at Fort Bliss, Texas, actually got a letter addressed to “Fort Ignorance.” “How did you know where to deliver it?” she asked the mailman. “We were stumped at first,” he admitted. “But then I remembered, ignorance is bliss.”— William De Graf For yourself, a friend, or family member—what could be better than the gift of laughter?

    Spot the stars in Hollywood, explore the Napa Valley's world-famous wineries and soak up the rays on SoCal's picturesque beaches; all with your trusted travel companion. Get to the heart of California and begin your journey now! Inside Lonely Planet's California Travel Guide: Color maps and images throughout Highlights and itineraries help you tailor your trip to your personal needs and interests Insider tips to save time and money and get around like a local, avoiding crowds and trouble spots Essential info at your fingertips - hours of operation, phone numbers, websites, transit tips, prices Honest reviews for all budgets - eating, sleeping, sight-seeing, going out, shopping, hidden gems that most guidebooks miss Cultural insights give you a richer, more rewarding travel experience - wildlife, landscapes, wine, cuisine, beaches, film, television, music, the arts, history, literature, politics More than 100 maps Covers San Francisco, Napa & Sonoma Wine Country, Yosemite & the Sierra Nevada, Los Angeles, San Diego, Disneyland & Orange County, Palm Springs, Santa Barbara and more eBook Features: (Best viewed on tablet devices and smartphones) Downloadable PDF and offline maps prevent roaming and data charges Effortlessly navigate and jump between maps and reviews Add notes to personalize your guidebook experience Seamlessly flip between pages Bookmarks and speedy search capabilities get you to key pages in a flash Embedded links to recommendations' websites Zoom-in maps and images Inbuilt dictionary for quick referencing The Perfect Choice: Lonely Planet California, our most comprehensive guide to California, is perfect for both exploring top sights and taking roads less traveled. Looking for a guide focused on one of California's major cities? Check out Lonely Planet's Los Angeles, San Diego & Southern California or San Francisco guides for a comprehensive look at all these cities have to offer; Discover San Francisco, a photo-rich guide to the city's most popular attractions; or Pocket Los Angeles and Pocket San Francisco, handy-sized guides focused on the can't-miss sights for a quick trip. Authors: Written and researched by Lonely Planet, Sara Benson, Andy Bender, Alison Bing, Celeste Brash, Tienlon Ho, Beth Kohn, Adam Skolnick, John A Vlahides About Lonely Planet: Since 1973, Lonely Planet has become the world's leading travel media company with guidebooks to every destination, an award-winning website, mobile and digital travel products, and a dedicated traveler community. Lonely Planet covers must-see spots but also enables curious travelers to get off beaten paths to understand more of the culture of the places in which they find themselves.

    It takes the reader on a journey through the lives of minstrels and storytellers; weavers, potters, ironsmiths and carvers; farmers and cooks; and poet rebels.Find out how these men and women shaped Indian civilization and made it richer with their skills and their wondrous innovations. From the first storytellers who wove tales of great imagination and then passed them down generations, to skilled workers who discovered how to weave cotton or created marvelous works of art like the Chola bronzes; from the farmers who fed everyone and even adopted new seeds and crops that have become staples now to poet rebels like Kabir and Guru Nanak who changed society with love and songs.Concise yet filled with relevant details and accompanied by attractive colour illustrations, the Exploring India series will make history fascinating and unforgettable for every reader.

    But her new neighbor turned out to be just such a man - sporting, debonair and immensely wealthy Rodney Gerard. When lumber baron Len Colloway threatened to seize the valuable timber on her and Rod's properties, she was forced into partnership with the despised playboy. Against her will, Prue's heart began to stir. Did she have the courage to keep her heart in check? Would she find the happiness in which she had ceased to believe?

    This book features the most extensive collection of Mary Engelbreit's work ever published, and it represents nearly 40 years of Mary's art. The new paperback version features a revised preface.

    We all know the famous stories of times gone by taught to us in history class...but what about the small, signigicant details of those stories, the parts that never get told? Or the not-so-famous tales that go unexamined and unexplained? Read all about these lost gems in Shocking Secrets of American History.

    Available in book form or as an unabridged audio cassette read by Sams.

    Little does he know that today EVERYTHING will change!One day Noah comes home from school to see that his Uncle Eric is in town. Noah doesn't have many friends so he loves to have company. Uncle Eric is a magician and traveler. Some have labeled him as "mad as a box of lunatic frogs." Noah doesn't care though. He loves his uncle and the wacky and adventurous stories he shares.Uncle Eric gives Noah a gift from his adventures in Japan. It's a magic pencil he acquired in an underwater volleyball match with a mermaid named Carl.“It’s not just any pencil, of course! It’s a magic pencil! That fantastic little utensil has been in the “Carl” family for millions of years. And you’re such a gifted artist already I knew it had to come to you. You’ll be AMAZED at what happens when you start drawing with this little beauty.” -Uncle Eric (from the book) What will Noah draw first? Noah is not very impressed with the pencil. At first, it seems like a normal pencil in his normal life. Things will never be normal again!Noah draws a pirate ship with lots of pirates on board. To his disbelief, the pirate ship sails right off the page. He can't believe his eyes. What happens when the pirates kidnap Noah's dog? When Noah excitedly goes to tell his Uncle Eric what happened, he hears a yelp from upstairs. When he reaches the door, he sees the pirates pulling Burt (Noah's snow-white Highland Terrier) into the picture. The pirates have kidnapped Burt! What will Noah do? Amazon Prime Members can borrow this book for FREE! Special Note: The illustrations in this book are optimally formatted for a bright and vivid viewing experience on e-readers, reading apps, tablets, phones, and computers! 29 cute and silly illustrations (high quality pictures) 4,000+ words (perfect for early and beginner readers) Imagination, creativity, and the magic of a good story! What will Noah do? Burt is in trouble and it's all up to Noah to save him. How will Noah use his magic pencil and what will he draw next? Scroll up and click 'buy' to find out! 100% Money Back Guarantee Tags: children's books, childrens books, beginning readers, beginner reading, early readers, kids books, books for kids, short stories for kids, children books, cute, silly, funny books, illustrated childrens books, books for children, children's book, imagination books, creative childrens books, dogs, pirate, pirates, pirate ship, pirate ships, free books for kids, free, pirate books, kids pirate book, childrens pirate book, pirate ships, boy hero, hero, cute childrens books, children book, kid book, best seller childrens books, pirates at sea, pencil, ages 5-12, kindergarten, elementary books, middle school, school

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

    Her works frequently featured Catholic themes and beliefs. Mrs. Keyes first book, The Old Gray Homestead, was published in 1919. The Gray's farm is falling apart until a wealthy widow named Sylvia comes to stay with the family. She helps rebuild the farm, pays for trips and music lessons. Austin Gray is falling in love with her, as are several other men. Can a plain farmer and a society woman find happiness?

    Move over Betty Crocker--101 Things to Do With a Cake Mix will amaze your friends and leave them Jell-O green with envy! From Snickers Surprise Cookies to Christmas Rainbow Poke Cake, it's the best thing to happen in the kitchen since your last romantic rendezvous! So what are you waiting for? Grab a cake mix, whip up some goodies, and throw some flour on your face so it looks like you spent days in the kitchen.

    Features interviews with all the original cast members and a comprehensive episode guide. Photos.

    Celebrated columnist Adair Lara polled her readers for life-lessons learned the hard way and compile their priceless counsel, including: If someone offers you a breath mint, take it. Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter. Take Spanish, not German. Whenever people say they hate to say something, they actually love to say it. Never fry bacon in the nude. Wear cheap pants if you must, but never cheap shoes. With whimsical illustrations by Roxanna Bikadoroff, and a healthy dose of humor that's just what the doctor ordered, Normal is Just a Setting on the Dryer equips you with hard-won wisdom to take on the real real world.

    Selby suspects foul play although the signs point to suicide.