He’s also a vampire. He lives alone and avoids the other vampires in L.A., but Pete’s simple life goes haywire when he falls for Angie, the cute bartender at a Sunset Strip dive -- and when sinister vampire lord Carson Fitzgerald returns to claim his children, Pete learns that nothing's ever easy for a creature of the night.

    Getting so tall and mature. Why, you can barely recognize yourself from just a few short months ago-back when you were so young. Your body is changing. Changes can be scary. Especially for girls, and, gosh, it can be confusing." Nope. No way. That's not this book. This is NOT your mother's coming-of-age manual. In the comedic likes of Chelsea Handler, author Jen Ashton breaks sex-education tradition and begins her hilariously endearing journey to womanhood with stories of growing up a tomboy in Middle America, circa the 1980's. Packed with iconic pop culture, nostalgic geekery, and a healthy dose of self-deprecation, Ashton foregoes the conventional route of learning how to be a lady and dives right in, enlisting the help of Cosmo, Hustler and her anal-loving housekeeper. Forget dancing around the dutiful explanations passed on from generation to generation-tales of 'the red curse' and 'your changing body.' Ashton's rites of passage are chock-full of unique life lessons learned the extracurricular way. From bodily functions to breast enlargement, pregnancy prevention to purgatory, learn the real facts of life as only she can describe them. If you're lucky, you might even discover the answer to the age-old question: Do Girls Poop? If you thought your journey through puberty was rough, be prepared to finally feel normal. Girls Don't Poop is a jaw-dropping, side-splitting adventure of one clueless tomboy's quest to figure out women, so that she could inevitably become one.

    With over a billion views and millions of subscribers to his name, he is the undisputed king of social media. But despite this success he is a self-confessed bell-end. Excessively posting selfies, oversharing about his dead nan, spending all day scouring Tinder and suffering from red-hot Fifa rage, are just some of his undesirable online habits. However, with acceptance comes salvation and now KSI is blowing the doors off the internet to find the cure. No one is spared, as KSI takes down fellow YouTubers, trolls, paedos, Tinder catfishers and Nigerian scammers in an all-out assault on the online universe. Along the way he also reveals how to become a YouTube kingpin as well as his hot Fifa tips, before he unveils his online revolution to help save the next generation from his fate.So, if you want to avoid becoming a total bell-end, then calm your tits, and simply take the medicine KSI is dishing up.

    An historical comedy about two bumbling botanists sent into the southern wilderness by Thomas Jefferson to look for something that isn't there. A novel in the spirit of Lewis and Clark (who make cameo appearences). Replete with wild Indians, river pirates, the kidnapped son of King Louis XVI, the lost colony of Roanoke, and much more. A non-stop romp full of life and humor and the sensibility of early America.

    A Long Distance Relationship Story in the backdrop of an engineering college.Few Details:1) PROXY: Filled for five friends but forgot one's own2) VIVA: Smoked and drunk but still cracked it3) Group Discussion: Topic- 'Woman on the Top'4) DROPOUT: Still invited as a motivational speaker at his collegePLOT:Neil met Avani-the girl who saved him from committing suicide few years back.Soon they were connected through Facebook.On day one, she revealed her plan to leave India for higher studies.But still their conversation continued.He told her about his college life while she talked about her friends.One day, he surprised her by dropping to her place and professing his love.What will Avani do now?

    Six foot two of delicious Marine, Thank God. Because when the shop gets robbed, He protects me. Kyle is one of the good guys. And so damned hot. He’s the right man but at the wrong time, Because my brother needs me. I can’t get involved right now. Kyle Mmm, I’ll bet she tastes as sweet as her name . . . And I’m gonna find out. No matter what it takes. I’ll fight off the bad guys. Protect her from harm. Because this blonde bombshell is exactly what I need. What's the saying about a five second rule? If I lick her, can I keep her? Five Second Rule is a full length stand alone bad boy romance featuring an irresistibly charming Marine. No cheating, no cliffhangers and a sweet as candy HEA.

    

    Kids love jokes! Jokes can aid in story-telling, create laughs, and help with conversation and social skills. Your child will love this hilarious joke book full of clean knock knock jokes for children. Kindle Unlimited and Amazon Prime Members can read this book for FREE! Kids and children can practice their reading and joke telling skills with these funny knock knock jokes. With silly jokes and hilarious laughs, beginning and early readers can enjoy hours of fun and entertainment. This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. 101+ funny knock knock jokes Excellent for early and beginning readers Hours of fun and entertainment for your child Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Funny jokes from this book... Knock knock!Who’s there?Icy!Icy who?Icy you! Open this door! HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Alfred!Alfred who?Alfred the dark! Open the door! LOL! Knock knock!Who’s there?Juno!Juno who?Juno how long I’ve been waiting out here? HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Athena!Athena who?Athena funny movie the other day! LOL! Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids! (Clean Jokes for Children) This funny joke book is full of hilarious knock knock jokes that will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes about food will give you a case of the giggles. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Early and beginner readers can practice reading aloud and learning. Best-Selling Children's Book Author, Arnie Lightning Arnie Lightning is a best-selling children's book author with a straightforward goal. He wants his work to create a positive impact in the lives of others through children's books. Learning morals, lessons, and good character can start at a young age. Arnie's books reflect this. By providing a comfortable and entertaining environment, learning can be a fun activity! Scroll up and click 'buy' to get these funny jokes! 100% Money Back Guarantee Tags: funny jokes for kids, jokes, knock knock, knock knock joke, knock knock jokes, knock knock jokes for kids, knock knock jokes for children, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, joke books, books, jokes book, ebook, kids books, funny, ebooks, funny jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, joke books, books for kids, childrens book, kids books, funny, funny jokes, funny book, joke book, funny book, joke books, hilarious, funny free joke book, book about food, kindle book, kindle ebook, comedy, book for kids, humor, early reader, beginning reader, preschool, ages 5-12, ages 6-8, ages 9-12, preteen, laugh, laughter, funniest jokes, laughin

    Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”

    The profession requires cops to see people at their worst. They see death, tragedy, crime, and despair on a daily basis. The very nature of the tasks cops perform and the things cops see skews their sense of humor. Sometimes, a sense of humor is the only defense mechanism in a police officer's tool box. Stripped of the ability to laugh, or forced to be politically correct in a politically incorrect work environment can be hazardous to one's health. Coping becomes an essential component of a police officer's arsenal. One of the primary coping mechanisms utilized by cops is humor. A cop can find something funny about almost anything, regardless of how tragic the circumstances. Dark humor involves making light of a serious, disturbing or taboo subject matter. It is sometimes viewed as morbid, cruel, offensive, and graphic in nature and is yet, still found funny. This is the story of the author's twenty-year police career with the New York City Transit Police and NYPD as he worked with some of New York City's darkest knights - those cops who did and said the funniest things under the most difficult circumstances.

    After abandoning his new home as a lost cause, he's caught up in the poker craze and moves to Atlantic City with a new dream of "playing poker for a living", but soon finds himself stuck in a dizzying spell of bad luck at the card tables. Or maybe he just sucks at poker, like everybody else. His money all gone, and finding that it's actually difficult to drink oneself to death at 1am, he's suddenly offered a chance to make his money back, and then some, by running an underground poker game in New York City. Once in New York, Tim finds himself on the road to recovery and making real money for the first time—but at what cost? We Run Bad offers an authentic and darkly comic look at underground poker culture, while serving up an indictment of post-recession America. Here, every game is rigged, and the only way to come out ahead is to be the one doing the rigging.

    

    Apparently it’s fine for Scrimshaw Travel to make last minute amendments to the holiday without incurring any penalties or reducing the price in any way. That’s what the indifferent courier tells him on day one of the tour as she arrives in a clapped-out, old coach being driven by a partially-sighted driver. With the spa hotel replaced by a rundown guest house staffed by a neurotic manager, decrepit waitress and under-sexed, Italian waiter there doesn’t appear to be much of the brochure-described holiday left. Thank goodness for Angela, the rather lovely woman Derek pals up with on the journey down. She might just make the trip bearable. If only the other members of the group would leave them alone long enough to get to know each other, but Derek has always had the ability to attract the eccentric characters to him and he can’t escape them. Still, perhaps they’ll surprise him as he learns about their lives and secrets as they move from one hilarious excursion to another. And maybe Angela will provide one or two surprises herself. Driven to Distraction is a fun romp through the English countryside with characters finding love and friendship while travelling at twenty miles an hour. (Well, it is a clapped-out, old coach).

     Do you constantly get anxious about your health and seek reassurance? Have you found yourself analysing every single sensation in your body? Are you spending time on the internet always looking for answers? Do you have heart palpatations that make you think you're having a heart attack? Does that impending heart attack give you a panic attack? Are you still not dead? You can rest assured it's not just you! Philip Martins was once a hypochondriac and has survived, among other things, cancer, motor neurone disease, meningitis, multiple sclerosis and having been bitten by a mosquito once, malaria. In this book he tells you how he got through his years of health anxiety, provides some anecdotes of his crazier times to cheer you up and gives you some tips all in the hope that it can bring a little relief to help you realise you're not alone. If you have health anxiety and are looking for something to relate to then this is the book for you.

    Don’t throw up. Don’t…don’t… oh no… god help me! You got yourself into this mess…you can get yourself out. The absolutely crazy thing is… I don’t know if I want to. I can’t remember the last time I have ever felt so alive, inside and out. I am utterly intoxicated by the scent, the touch, the writhing, aching, exhilarating desire I feel when I think about him. My brother’s best friend. Forbidden fruit. Delicious, ripe, oozing with sweet nectar. Yum. Does he feel what I feel? There is something he is keeping from me. He is guarded, keeping something so close to him. Closer than me. His secret life as a bear shifter. A secret passed through generations of his family. And I am keeping something close to me too. My secret. Inside of me. Will this shifter baby bring us closer together or tear us apart?