What he doesn't know, as he takes his first light steps across the sunlit meadows near the tiny village of Somerbourne Magna, is that he is embarking on a course that will take him far away from the country, the surroundings and the way of life he has always known. He is embarking on a journey that will eventually take him to the other side of the world.

    Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    "Funny and flattering quote from loving, supportive, perfect husband." —Crappy Husband MARRIAGE: ILLUSTRATED WITH CRAPPY PICTURES provides much-needed laughs about coping with another person's hygiene habits, cleaning rituals (including their ritual of not cleaning), financial decisions, cooking quirks and everything else that makes your spouse weird and annoying special and perfect in every way.

    Which is especially useful when he's being funny about science' Neil GaimanA dog philosopher questions what it really means to be a 'good boy'. A virtual assistant and a robot-cleaner elope. The undiscovered species and the theoretical particle face existential despair.Just as he did with writers, poets and literary classics in Baking with Kafka, Gauld now does with hapless scientists, nanobots, and puzzling theorems - with comic strips funny enough to engage science boffins and novices alike.

    Like Girls and Boys, Big Ideas features many of her greatest cartoons, including her menacing "Poodle with a Mohawk". Line drawings throughout.

    For years, millions of people have used this great program. Especially since it is imbedded in all the new phones. Of course, there is a way to disable autocorrect if you really want to. However, not many people do. Why would they? It is just too hilarious when it happens!

    She decides to swap the hectic streets of London for a slower pace of life in the sleepy Kent village of Cloverdale St Mary, but her move to the countryside runs into problems when she finds that her new home is haunted. Meadow Cottage is still home to the man who re-built it from a derelict ruin twenty years before, the ghost of Harry Black. Candice defies his attempts to force her to leave and they agree to share the idyllic village home. The question is can a mortal and a ghost live together?

    He doesn’t intend things to fall apart around him, but they generally do just that! Since childhood, he hated the surname fate pushed upon him by an uncaring father and a doting mother. His father abandons the family in order to run off with a ‘slapper’ from his workplace, leaving a bitter wife who’s only solace is the local Catholic priest. Father Reilly’s visits to her home are the only relief from the day to day drudgery. Roger befriends a girl, Mary, and at last finds something worthwhile in his young life. But, Mary lets him down when she goes off with Roger’s arch enemy, Billy Brown. Roger’s faith in women is destroyed and he vows never to become involved again, which is not difficult for Roger who appears to take very little interest in anything of a physical nature. The story takes the reader through Roger’s school days, university, and his dramatic entrance into the workforce. At first, Roger’s naivety causes all kinds of hilarious disasters, some of them with fatal consequences. Later in life, as he matures, he becomes more calculating, always putting himself first in order to take advantage of a situation. From time to time he touches base with home and his first love, Mary; never realising that the torch she once carried for him still burns brightly. In the vein of Tom Sharpe and Ben Elton, this story leads the reader through life according to Roger. You will either love him or hate him; however, you will almost certainly know someone just like him!

    Not only do the authors reveal why the world is so completely screwed up, but they provide proven techniques for creative control of personal, social, and business problems. They analyze the reasons for human failure and tell how to achieve a state of well-being by avoiding that unwanted, ultimate promotion.Students of Freud, Potter, and Parkinson will be fascinated by this satirical examination of man's tendency to escalate himself to oblivion at his level of incompetence.

    Edward Monkton's latest stylish and collectable book is the perfect gift for mums on Mothers' Day and any woman worth her salt this Easter and all year round. Each book in this new series is an original tale, charmingly illustrated, and created especially for this brand-new series of gift books. Hand-lettered in the same style as the Edward Monkton cards by the Really Good company, the tales are wonderfully packaged with the utmost style and attention to detail, making these hugely desirable objects and the perfect gift for special occasions.These creations prove there is a universal and enduring audience for stories that inspire and touch hearts. Their philosophy is to heal, unite, amuse and delight in equal measures. And what better way to do this than with chocolate?

    Reading about his misadventures in the capital of Spain, you will learn about Spanish culture and improve your language skills along the way. This story is the second book in a series of Spanish Easy Readers called SPANISH FOR BEGINNERS, whose aim is to help you learn Spanish from scratch and reach an intermediate level.Therefore, the difficulty of the text and the language used in this short story have been adapted to help students revise and consolidate their grammar and vocabulary in Spanish at level A1 and A2 on the Common European Framework of Reference. Repetition, repetition, repetition… Repetition is key in this book: you will read the same words, the same expressions and the same grammar structures again and again. When learning new words and new expressions in a foreign language, repetition is essential. You need to read (and hear) the same words again and again, in different contexts, in order to understand its meaning and to be able to remember them later on. That is the reason we say this book is carefully designed to help you revise and consolidate fundamental vocabulary and basic grammar structures studied in any Spanish beginner course: you will read the same words, the same expressions and the same grammar structures again and again, in different contexts, in order to help you understand its meaning and be able to remember them later on. Vocabulary. Each chapter comes with a translation of the most important words and expressions used in the text to help you understand the story and learn the vocabulary and grammar involved.

    A tiger whose idea of adventure is to lie on his back by the fire and have his stomach rubbed. In six short years this unlikely duo has captured the hearts, the minds, and, most of all, the funny bones of America. They are the most phenomenal success story in syndication - and publishing - history. In only six years, they appear in more than 2,100 newspapers worldwide, and Calvin and Hobbes wins as many readership polls as Calvin has excesses. All seven of Bill Watterson's collections have sold a million copies within a year of publication.This treasury collection contains a never-before-published full-color section, as well as the cartoons appearing in The Revenge of the Baby-Sat and Scientific Progress Goes "Boink." All Sunday cartoons are presented full-page and full-color.

    The purpose of writing this book is to teach the youth the world of heart as describes in the preface- “Dedicated to the youth college students who are going through heartache due to never having learned the world of the heart and had no one to teach them.”

    It enables us to recognise the ridiculous, and to empathise with life’s disasters. Take the lives of a self-deprecating couple from England, steeped in life’s troubles, and whisk them across the Channel. Laugh with them as they encounter hilarious situations en France – from troublesome workmen, the infamous bureaucracy, and even sex à la française! Take notes on this transition from English doom and gloom to la belle vie française, and follow the exploits of this oh-so-recognisable English couple. What could possibly go wrong?

    Unlike a lot of how to draw books, this book teaches you the how and why so that you fully understand what you are drawing. In How to Draw Awesome Figures, you will learn proportions, mannequin, blocking in the figure with shapes, anatomy, poses, and more! Look inside and check it out.