Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    If it comes out, the tabloids will have a field day: Eddie Randall was a popular comedy actor in the 1960s. Nick goes in search of the truth and unexpectedly finds it impacts on a major insurance scam he is investigating. Then his estranged wife is found dead - and Nick realises that an unknown enemy is stalking him..."Occasionally brutal, but very readable... this writer seems to me to have real potential. I look forward to his next book." Martin Edwards, TANGLED WEB"Sins of the Father is a wonderful, exciting read full of twists and turns... This is a sterling effort from a new face on the crime scene."Chris Simmons, CRIMESQUAD"Sins of the Father is a rattling good read... a writer to watch for sure."Sharon Wheeler, REVIEWING THE EVIDENCEPraise for David Harrison (writing under the name TOM BALE):"What truly sells SKIN AND BONES is Bale's almost cinematic storytelling style, along the lines of what Lee Child does with his Jack Reacher series."Jim Winter, JANUARY MAGAZINE

    As he walked around looking for help wanted signs, a series of unfortunate accidents occurred resulting in him entering a coma. When he woke up, he discovered he'd been granted a mysterious system. Moreover, the system finally provided him with some direction about what he should do with his life. Follow Alan as he explores his new found calling!

    The profession requires cops to see people at their worst. They see death, tragedy, crime, and despair on a daily basis. The very nature of the tasks cops perform and the things cops see skews their sense of humor. Sometimes, a sense of humor is the only defense mechanism in a police officer's tool box. Stripped of the ability to laugh, or forced to be politically correct in a politically incorrect work environment can be hazardous to one's health. Coping becomes an essential component of a police officer's arsenal. One of the primary coping mechanisms utilized by cops is humor. A cop can find something funny about almost anything, regardless of how tragic the circumstances. Dark humor involves making light of a serious, disturbing or taboo subject matter. It is sometimes viewed as morbid, cruel, offensive, and graphic in nature and is yet, still found funny. This is the story of the author's twenty-year police career with the New York City Transit Police and NYPD as he worked with some of New York City's darkest knights - those cops who did and said the funniest things under the most difficult circumstances.

    Another adventure of Milo Snotrocket based on Star Wars saga.

    But when he inherits his late aunt’s rundown motel, The Neon Owl, his passion for investigative work reignites while he searches for answers as to who keeps shitting in the bushes. His findings lead to a full-blown murder mystery where he and new-found friend, Roddy, the elderly, one-legged handyman, set out to find the killer. A crime noir-ish whodunnit rife with humor, grit, and ranch dressing.

    An army of darkness marches from the north, crushing all who oppose it under its muddy black boot. The drums of war echo throughout Kraawn as the struggle between light and dark teeters in the balance, fueled on the one hand by the greed of the Forsworn, and on the other by the ultimate desire for all that is good to survive.Tarsis, the last city in the north, is laid waste, decimated by Malbeck’s army. Kromm, the King of Tarsis, battles for his life as the dark hunters of Malbeck relentlessly pursue him through the Tundren Mountains. His mighty army has been destroyed and its remnants are now scattered throughout the lands. But he is not alone. He is surrounded by his elite guard, along with Addalis, his court wizard, and Allindrian, the half-elf Blade Singer. But will that be enough to thwart that which hunts him?The road to Finarth is now open and few are left to stop the Dark One. The hope of the land rests in the combined power of its last remaining heroes. Jonas Kanrene, cavalier to Shyann, has been given his next mission. He must find King Kromm and bring him to Finarth. The bow of Taleen, cavalier to Bandris, and the sword of Fil Tanrey, warrior of Finarth, accompanies Jonas on this perilous task. Their quest is fraught with death, sacrifice, and courage. But will their courage see them through their mission? Can Jonas and his companions prevail against the Forsworn and protect the king? These are questions that can only be answered by the strength of their blades, and more importantly, the courage in their hearts.

    There's just one problem: he doesn't quite have the looks to match his talent, and his publisher wants a photo to put on the book jacket. He asks his handsome (but dim) college classmate, Mike Smith, to take his place.Consequently it is Smith rather than Collins who receives the offer to be writer-in-residence at an asylum where therapy is centered on the soothing powers of literature. It's not long before the boundaries between inmate and observer are blurred in this literary cuckoo's nest and this comedy of errors verges on tragedy.

    What doesn’t he get? Just about everything. That’s why he walks around with a little camera attached to his glasses that records his entire life. Then he watches it all later to try to figure out the things he didn’t get before – which, as you’ll recall, is just about everything – and he makes a weekly video blog for all to see. Unfortunately, Hugh’s cluelessness leads him to run for Student Council President. Even his little sister knows that this school election thing is just “not him”, but Hugh, as always, has to find out the hard way. At least Hugh’s campaign gets him the attention of the very confident, very pretty – and very intimidating – Molly MacLaine. But will Molly be able to help Hugh survive his disastrous campaign, or will he crash and burn… and bring the whole school down with him? If you like the Middle School series and Diary of a Wimpy Kid, you’ll love HughTube. This book is for anybody who’s ever been baffled by the secrets, contradictions and unwritten rules of middle school. Tweens and teens will easily relate to the comic mishaps of our hapless hero. This funny coming of age, middle grade story is the first in a series, so if you like it, there's more to come! Don't forget to look for the surprise after Chapter 1!

    With some reluctance, she joins the rest of the glamorous attendees on the veranda for cocktails and dancing until the gala turns grave indeed when one of the guests is murdered. With the sure knowledge there’s a killer among them, Sugar sets out to unearth the secrets that led to the death of a peer of the realm. With the help of a grumpy corgi and a handsome Englishman, she’s on the hunt for a cold-blooded killer and she won’t stop until she gets her man! The second book in the Sugar Martin Vintage Cozy Mysteries set in post-WW2 England.

    Meet Bridget and Joan: Thelma and Louise on mobility scooters, reluctant residents of the Second Best Magnolia Retirement Home, and lifelong friends joined at the artificial hip.It’s been a wild year for the two rebellious wrinkletons: sherry and shoplifting, Sanatogen and sexting, and a mysterious toy boy who threatens their lifelong friendship and possibly even more…

    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

    As a rank amateur who just thinks he can help, this Ames alter ego quickly becomes embroiled in the search for a missing NYU coed. He moves from one scrape to the next, all while trying to escape a life of periodic alcoholism, dead-end relationships, writer’s block, and hours of Internet backgammon. Bored to Death was originally published in McSweeney’s Issue 24 and is the centerpiece of Ames’s collection of essays and fiction, The Double Life Is Twice as Good. Bored to Death Artwork © 2009 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved. HBO® and related channels and service marks are the property of Home Box Office, Inc.

    

    And why, at Christmas, she wrote lengthy letters to Santa (note: letters, plural) begging him not to bring any surprises. Change was the enemy. But, as it turns out, one Stefanie hasn't been able to avoid. And, in spite of herself, one she has sometimes invited into her life.Here, in her first book, Stefanie looks at the ways in which her life has changed. From birthdays, friendships and how she celebrates the festive season, to social media (no FOMO here), the importance of asking WWNSD? (What Would Nicole Scherzinger Do?) when faced with big decisions, and her career as a writer, Why Can't Everything Just Stay the Same? is the hilarious and honest account of one woman's journey to and through adulthood, coping (sort of) with the terror, inevitability and beauty of change. 'It's Stefanie's life, but her struggles are universal. Insecurity? Check. Anger? Check. Weight issues? Big fat check. Stefanie shines a light on human frailty and human strength, proving they are not opposites, but often walk hand-in-hand ... an inspiring, thoroughly enjoyable book.' Nell Scovell, creator of Sabrina the Teenage Witch and author of Just the Funny Parts