After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    Although he has been with his wife, Starla, for over twenty years, Dale freely admits that he knows absolutely nothing about women and he has the stories to prove it including: Check Yes or No, Just Friends, You Will Love My Cat, With This Pre-nup I Thee Wed, My Eggs Are Rotting, and Big White Panties. Ladies, if you have ever wondered what your man is really thinking, Dale will tell you. Guys, if your lady has ever left you confused and frustrated, you are not alone. Dale has been there, too. To strengthen your relationship, sit on the couch with your soul mate, share a nice box of wine, and laugh out loud at Big White Panties. Dale Alderman lives in Chantilly, Virginia with his wife, Starla, and two sons, Chase and Logan. He graduated from Virginia Tech in 1984 and received a masters degree from Marymount University in 1995. For 19 years, he worked as a sales and marketing executive for large global corporations, and then he decided to get a real life and spend time with his family. An award-winning author, Dale has appeared on FOX & Friends on the FOX News Channel and has appeared on many nationally syndicated radio shows. Dale is the author of Everyday Dad, a collection of funny stories about fatherhood. He is also the author of The MegaDog Tales, a middle grade adventure about a cocker spaniel that becomes a superhero.

    This work is packed with original contributions from Stephen Fry, Alan Davies, Jo Brand, Bill Bailey and other regular guests on the show, with games to play at home, puzzles, cartoon strips, mini-encyclopaedias, how-to diagrams and masses of QI facts. If you want to read Julian Clary's poetry about the Queen, Roger Law's musings on flatulent kangaroos, or have often wondered how you might make a waterproof apron out of a whale's foreskin, your Christmas gift dilemma has just been solved. Warning: very silly indeed. Will offend dullards, whales and parents in no particular order.

     As the sun Dipped into the Pacific they found themselves sequestered by a weathered native peddler (presumably named Tony) who mimed towards his cart and through guttural broken english encouraged them to “Put Tony’s nuts in your mouth…” 60 pesos later, as a cold cerveza complimented the first of Tony’s nuts, pen was put to parchment and book four of Season One came to be.

    This is a short collection of poetry from the pen and mind of Nyles Adams, most of which originally appeared in other Alexandria House works.Read, absorb and snap your fingers if you are so inclined.

    Everything Mark's not, Paris is a man of the world with a thirst for adventure - even his name is better than Mark's.But after a catastrophic argument, Mark finds himself setting off alone on his voyage, instead emailing an unresponsive Paris from the road. A cocktail cruise on the Seine, mindful pastry making in Foix, a graffiti tour in Barcelona: Mark will be forced to engage with life and strangers as he never has before, with poignantly recognisable results.But questions remain: will he ever be able to have an authentic interaction? Will Paris ever reply to his emails? And crucially, will he manage to write SEO friendly copy for every place he visits?After all, it's not the destination that counts: it's the homes and experiences you encounter along the way.

    He’s taken to hospital for treatment. Then people start trying to assassinate him.The man has to find out why, how to get them to stop, and what the CIA has to do with all this. There’s also the little problem of working out who he used to be, and why that changed. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Piper and best friend Lance are trying to find him…Jonathon Fairfax – still the world’s most socially awkward hero – is back. If only he knew.‘A hugely entertaining novel … a surprising, yet strangely fitting, progression to the Jonathon Fairfax story.’ Scott Pack (former head buyer for Waterstones)Pick up the latest Jonathon Fairfax novel – sequel to two Amazon bestsellers: The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax (‘A comic gem’ Stylist, ‘You can’t help being tickled’ The Guardian, Bath Novel Award shortlist) and Jonathon Fairfax Must Be Destroyed (‘A funny, daft-yet-relatable, nerve-jangly thriller’ Emerald Street).*That’s a trashcan or dumpster, for American readers.The Jonathon Fairfax novels can be read in any order.

    The poems are accompanied by line drawings.

    Love can be shit. Whatever has happened to you, whatever will happen to you, whatever might happen to you, whatever hasn't happened to you, well . . . you're not alone. Andre Jordan's drawings and prose are culled from a life of heartache and unrequited love. Simple, sad, clever, and darkly hilarious, they tell of both dismal places and hopeful realizations.

    As he struggles to make a dent in the icy exterior of the townspeople he wonders if his efforts will be wasted--then he meets Matilda, and everything changes.From the moment they meet Danny finds himself entranced by her ambition, and Matilda is captured by his passion and determination. But life in Bear Creek is difficult for outsiders and despite the attraction, their blossoming romance could end in tragedy.How can Danny choose between the chance at love and his life's dream? Will Matilda lose her independence if she admits how she feels?Grace Cranfield dreams of freedom from high-society and the suitors her parents push onto her. When all seems lost, she finds a chance at hope when she spots an ad in the church from a Montana rancher looking for a wife.Left alone after the sudden deaths of his brothers, Malcolm Wilson longs for someone to help build a new life from the rubble of his old one. Grace is charming and kind, and as sparks fly she finds herself on a train speeding towards a new home, but also a world like nothing she's ever known.Will Grace be able to find a place in this new world and discover who she truly is? More importantly, will she survive long enough to get the chance?All Mayme Ruble wants is to feel like she belongs. When she comes across an ad from a farmer looking for a wife, she feels a glimmer of hope--a chance to start over and maybe even find love.Thomas Harris has spent most of his life running his farm, and now it's time for him to marry. Mayme's kind, honest response strikes a chord with him and there is instant chemistry. She leaves her hometown with tentative optimism that a new chapter in her life is about to begin.Despite Thomas' warmth and the welcoming townspeople, Mayme struggles to shed her self-consciousness. All seems well, until disaster strikes in Bear Creek and Mayme is forced to make a decision: will she step up and be the woman she hopes to become? Or will she lose this chance at happiness once and for all?When Rachel Maxwell discovers that her home - and her hand in marriage - have been sold to notorious poker player, Salis Dangerfield, her world is thrown into turmoil. Despite the stories swirling around town, Rachel has no plans to give in easily.Salis is a ruthless businessman and highroller. But right now, he's just a man in search of a safe haven. Faced with distrust from both his wife and the locals, it seems as though he and his young sister will never find their footing in Bear Creek.Rachel soon discovers the kind man behind the facade and Salis thinks he may have finally found the peace he's been looking for.Will Salis be able to overcome his demons? Can he and Rachel find a way to be together even when the whole world is against them?In Bear Creek Brides: Books 9-12, you will discover four captivating stories of vulnerability, danger, and determination as these four brides navigate peril and heartache to hold onto the chance for true love.

    

    The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.

    His plan may have worked all too well. Now, to save us from creeping socialism, death panels and everything progressive, he has written the antidote, Tea Party Fairy Tales. In Tea Party Fairy Tales, Red Riding Hood stands up for her Second Amendment rights, the Little Match Girl defends the magic of the free market to her grave, and Jack of “Beanstalk” fame shows the moral decay of a life on the dole. For those who find these too long-winded, more than a dozen Aesop’s Fables have been reworked to illustrate the eternal truths of American conservatism in handy, shouting-points form. Tea Party Fairy Tales deserves a place on every young American’s nightstand, right next to the Rush Limbaugh plush doll and a Smith & Wesson automatic, to help prevent the destruction of everything good and true in American culture. “Wake up, Storybookland! Before it’s too late!”

    Ten years later they find themselves working for the same company, but at first, neither can remember who the other one is. As they start to date, what happens when they find out, especially when Will realises that it was Abigail who'd teased him into early therapy?

    Moving out and moving on.     Dave and Morley's marriage has mellowed and deepened like a fine wine, Sam has developed a palate for girls and Gruyere, and Steph's found happiness with an artist who photographs roadkill.      Everyone's growing wiser and worldlier--well, almost everyone.     Yes, Dave still has trouble with the automatic car wash, defibrillators, and hot yoga, but he's come to appreciate Mary Turlington, and that's saying quite a bit.     In this brand new collection of Vinyl Cafe stories, the more things change, the more things stay the same...