He's confronted the HOA. He's even taken on Santa himself. He doesn't usually win. These are the tales of the Dumb White Husband and they are all available here in this collected edition.This handsome volume includes:Dumb White Husband vs. the Grocery Store - John would rather sit and watch the game, but his wife needs some things at the store. Can he complete the list and get back in time to see the end of the game?Dumb White Husband vs. Halloween - Every Halloween, Chris has the scariest house on the block and gives out the best candy. But, this year, someone is showing him up and he'll stop at nothing to find out who.Dumb White Husband vs. Santa - Erik has planned the perfect Christmas for his family. The plan is foolproof, bulletproof and flame retardant. Nothing can undo the hours of planning and preparation. Nothing except maybe odd-shaped packages, ill-timed fruitcakes or an errant neighborhood Santa Claus.Dumb White Husband vs. the Tooth Fairy - Erik always has a plan and he's sure he would have figured out the whole Tooth Fairy thing eventually. But, when his three-year-old son takes a frisbee to the mouth, he's forced to speed things up. Between neighborhood kids with big mouths and unhelpful dentists he's going to need to improvise. Will he bend to the pressure of inflation? Will he get caught in the act? And, what do you do with those teeth anyway?Dumb White Husband for President (A novella) - There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand for the things he believes in. John doesn't believe in bagging his grass. So, when a new allergy-prone neighbor gets the HOA to require it, there's only one thing he can do - run for President of The Creeks of Sage Valley Phase II.John, Chris and Erik put aside most of their differences to run a campaign that they hope will see John elected as President and end the meddling of the rule-loving new kid on the block. Will they succeed? It's doubtful.

    Something has happened. It's about your country and mine. It's serious-believe me. Come!" Ed Diamond, investigative reporter for "Focus," America's preeminent TV news show, is summoned urgently to Israel by an old friend, Dov Ben-Ami, formerly a top official of Israel's Mossad. But before they can meet, a terrorist bomb blows Dov apart. Determined to discover why the Israeli was killed, Diamond embarks on the most astonishing investigation he's ever undertaken. From the Dead Sea to the Old City of Jerusalem, to Tel Aviv and Paris, Washington and New York, he attempts to unravels an on-going mystery that began with the nefarious links between America's greatest corporations and Hitler's Third Reich. In the end, Ed attempts to thwart a deadly terrorist attack on Manhattan. He's pitted against one of the U.S.'s most powerful families, and a fanatical group of right-wing Israelis, ready to kill to protect a World War II intelligence coup that is still Israel's most potent weapon and most closely guarded secret, "The Watchman's File.

    Now, though, that past has just arrived on her doorstep, in the shape of an old music cassette that Amy hasn’t seen since she was at university.Digging out her long-neglected Walkman, Amy listens to the lyrics that soundtracked her student days. As long-buried memories are wrenched from the places in her mind where she’s kept them safely locked away for over a decade, Amy is suddenly tired of hiding.It’s time to confront everything about her life. Time to find all the friends she left behind in England, when her heart got broken and the life she was building for herself got completely shattered. Time to make sense of all the feelings she’s been bottling up for all this time. And most of all, it’s time to discover why Jack has sent her tape back to her now, after all these years…With her mantra, New life, New job, New home, playing on a continuous loop in her head, Amy gears herself up with yet another a bucked-sized cup of coffee, as she goes forth to lay the ghost of first love to rest...

    Keener senses, heightened awareness and an enhanced physical strength that could be called upon by his sheer will. Erik becomes involved with a team of high profile investigators and local police trying to locate a girl who was kidnapped in the middle of a playground amongst dozens of adults and children. None of the adults saw anything and what the children claim to have seen is too far fetched to be believed. The search evolves into a full-scale manhunt into the dark and desolate woodlands of the Hopedale Mountain. After a lethal encounter and a fatality, Erik, the investigators and police realize that what they're dealing with isn't a man and possibly isn't of this world. What they're dealing with is a sentient evil that has an appetite for young children.

    Coles. Two orphaned sisters, facing a future of want and loneliness, quarrel when the older sister, responsible for her dependent teenage sibling, repudiates her sister's affair with a political activist--older and unacceptable--she bonds with on the internet. Can adolescent love ever transcend innocently ignored incompatibility to evolve into a valued family relationship in rural southern America? Can a sister forced into a role of a surrogate parent convince her sister to denounce her attraction for a rouge male religiously, socially, and historically unsuited for marriage without a destructive severance of duty and caring?

    With the world’s best doctors and the advocacy of his parents, Louis Unger would fight the battle for his young life. At age 3, Louis was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma. He battled this treacherous cancer for 5 years with the leadership of the neuroblastoma team at Memorial Sloan Kettering. After relapsing with the cancer in his brain, his incredible team of doctors developed a new treatment protocol that cured him. His grit and incredible attitude led to a breakthrough that would change how cancer is treated today. This protocol is now helping to save many other children who are diagnosed with a brain relapse.

    Coronado Prep student Maria Ochoa, 16, is near death after crashing her car on an isolated stretch of New Mexico Highway 14 during a blizzard. When the only person to show up to help her is a teen gangbanger named Demetrio Vigil, Maria fears she’s doomed, until the young man manages, miraculously, to heal her nearly fatal wounds with nothing but the warm energy radiating from his hands. Maria is grateful for the help, and seeks to thank Demetrio by returning to the tiny ghost town of Golden, where he said he lives, to find him and give him a gift. What she discovers out about Demetrio along the way, however, not only defies logic and belief, but puts Maria’s very life in terrible danger.

    When a flying saucer crashes into his fishing hole, Jimmy tries to use the stranded survivors to jump-start his TV career. This first contact isn't accidental though. The Galactic Pool's saddest excuse for a politician has committed sabotage while plotting to rule Earth. And he's about to find out what happens when you mess with Earthlings.*81,000 words with a courteous 0.0149% F-word rate*There are sex scenes, but they are strictly telepathic. (sorry)

    Will Williams' budding detective skills be equal to the task of catching any of the murderers? Will his current gin intake permit him to remember any of the details?Transcribed from the original interviews, the only changes made have been to names, places, dates and facts. Oh, and cutting out all the heavy swearing.

    A young priest on the other side of the screen is shaken by what he learns. A former college athlete with an MBA from a prestigious university, Father Joe Russo is not your typical man of God. Nine years earlier, his own life took a tragic turn and he gave everything up, committing his life to the church. Now his peaceful existence is being tested, and he finds himself questioning the God he serves, the vows he made, and someone he left behind.In this gripping thriller, a priest and an FBI agent work to uncover secrets and expose hidden crimes, but when it seems they have it all figured out, everything they think they know will be questioned.

    Of endless weekdays, working weekends, making presentations, working with complicated Excel sheets, handling a boss with time-management issues and the general politics of the workplace. Sigh! After eight years of this life, her only personal insight is that she's terribly unambitious and constantly struggling to be an average performer in the competitive corporate world. When a colleague flashes the glint of a golden sabbatical she catapults into it headfirst. After all, one has to find one's calling at some point in one's life. So will the sabbatical miraculously change her life forever? Or will she go rushing back to her pocket money-generating job?

    Though she agrees to meet him on location in Atlantic City, New Jersey, and review the situation, the last thing she expects is to believe his claims. After all, a poisoned pizza? What kind of lame attempt at murder is that? But after getting caught in the center of attempt on Shepard’s life Lorraine is forced to admit he’s right about the danger – and determined to find a way to protect him while finding out who’s behind the threat.With her meddling friend Barb along for the ride and her boss anxiously tracking her every move, Lorraine must juggle the chaos of a film set, the lure of the casinos, the attraction of a hunky co-star, and a mine-filed of Shepard’s ex-girlfriends all while keeping Shepard safe and discovering the identity of a killer…before she becomes the next target.

    

    Wow. Too much energy. Wow. Too much anticipation. WOW. It’s the new memoir from the biggest star in gaming: Dr Disrespect.Dr Disrespect is a 6-foot-8 freak of nature with a 37-inch vertical, the two-time, back-to-back 1993-94 Blockbuster Video Game Champion, and in his factual opinion, the most dominant international gaming superstar in the history of the world. It was just a matter of time before Western civilization came begging Doc to save literature by writing a memoir that reads like a vicious, muscular lion clawing his way through the rocks, roaring in anger and dominance. Here you will find his deepest, most intimate secrets. The untold history of his mysterious, legendary origins and his rise to unparalleled dominance. And most of all, you will find out what, exactly, Doc’s a doctor of. Are you ready for a book with the rhythm of a sleazy ’70s muscleman and the ruthlessness of a ’90s serial killer? A journey that stares down the long, dark alley of your fears and never looks back? Does your warrior’s heart yearn to reach the tippity top of the mountain just to realize you’re still only halfway up? If so, firm handshakes, Champion: Welcome to the salvation of literature.

    In this book you will find the funniest 288 of them (with a few all-new funny pages squeezed in just because we couldn’t help ourselves). That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung-fu movie subtitles—such as. "It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, or silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at…Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillow case.Witty wordplay: If Snoop Doggy Dogg were to marry Winnie the Pooh, his name would become Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.Flubbed headlines: "British Left Waffles On House Floor”Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room.Job Lingo: If you hear an E.R. doc mention a "VIP,” be on the lookout for a "Very Intoxicated Patient.”Comedian quips: "I wonder if deaf people have a sign for "Talk to the hand.’” --Zach GalifianakisSputtering sportscasters: "If only faces could talk.” --Pat SummerallAnd much, much more!