They have lifelong endearing names for each other – Lard Arse and Fat Man. Whilst on a fishing trip in Spain, they hatch a plan to travel around the Iberian Peninsula on motorbikes. No problem for Dave as a proficient biker of many years, but Martin is a complete beginner to riding motorcycles. He doesn’t even have a motorcycle licence. Follow Martin through the trials of taking his bike test, juggling a busy life and planning the journey with Dave while they live in different countries. Nothing can be taken for granted when these two plan anything. When everything is in place their journey through Spain and Portugal begins, starting in Marbella, then riding west along the Spanish coast and up through Portugal, through the northern coast of Spain and over the Pyrenees, finishing with the east coast of Spain and heading back into Marbella. Expect to laugh in places at their simple boyish behavior, as they act like two teenage, middle-aged men with mental age of young men going through puberty. They experience many comical events, as well as close calls for Martin the novice on his first-ever ride out. This book is a light-hearted but a true travel journal of two good friends enjoying their journey on the road in the sun.

    Who doesn’t likes a good session of jokes? If you too are looking to add a little humor to your life and you would love to have some rib cracking laugher sessions, we have a perfect book for you. The internet is a vast repository of jokes and the list is practically too big to handle. However, not all jokes are funny and damn, we all know how much it frustrates to read a joke (and some pathetically long ones too) and then end up wondering WTF, where did that go!Heck, I didn’t even twitch an eyelid, leave apart laughing. So, to spare you from all such bloopers... We have brought for you the best jokes of 2016, compiled all together. We have spanned multiple dimensions and we are sure that you can’t have a straight face as you read the jokes. They are just too funny to simply smile. We had a cracker of a time compiling it as we broke into fits of laughter. So, are you all set to truly have a fun ride by dabbling on the best jokes that were hot on the internet?

    After losing their small business and life savings to the government’s unfathomable shutdown, the author and her husband are forced to sell their home and move into a travel trailer. Still reeling from financial loss and the deaths of two of their beloved dogs, the pair embark on a new life in a trailer park, populated with some of the most unconventional characters you’d ever hope not to meet. There’s Gretchen, the park’s unsympathetic and conniving manager, and her puny, perverted husband, Lloyd, who “maintains” the park grounds and who gives pool algae a bad name. Daisy and Lonnie May are the author’s closest neighbors, and are, perhaps, the park’s most devoted couple. Only Daisy May happens to be Lonnie’s dog. Trailer Dogs will make you laugh, cry, and maybe even a little angry. But it will never make you bored.

    A successful business, wealth, and a beautiful baby girl. The only area in her life that she seemed to be lacking in was romance. Although she and Mendesses—her drag racing baby father—does a great job co-parenting they didn’t work well as a couple. Instead of focusing on love, she hustles and put all of her energy into taking care of her daughter and building her business. That is, until the charming and extremely handsome Lamont Morehouse sweeps her off her feet. Lamont grew up on the mean streets of Detroit, but because his parents saw so much potential in him, they relocated to Atlanta Georgia before he could get himself into something he couldn’t get out of. Luckily, getting Lamont out of the hood took him down another path in life. Ultimately, though, Lamont ends up right back in Detroit, but this time, instead of breaking the law, he’s enforcing it as an undercover cop. Mendesses has been running the game in underground racing for years. As the undisputed champ, quitting is the furthest thing from his mind. He’s determined to keep his championship status despite a few things lurking, threatening to compromise his livelihood. Karisma is just as beautiful and ambitious as her best friend. Tahiry, Like Tahiry, Karisma is single, but she’s ready to mingle. She has her eye on the young, money getting street racer, James but unlike most, she’s a little soft spoken about it. Luckily for Karisma, fate pushes the two together eventually. But old habits die hard and Danielle is definitely James old habit. Collins, Karisma's out of town cousin, is fresh out of a relationship and isn’t interested in starting anything new, anytime soon. She relocated to Michigan, in search of a fresh start, definitely not a new love. But when she meets the intriguing, and slick talking Mendesses, everything changes. Despite her greatest efforts, Collins ends up falling hard for him. What started out as a good year for this group of friends drastically takes a turn for the worst when a snake infiltrates the crew. Brace yourself as Londyn Lenz takes you on yet another wild journey laced with drama, deceit, lies and bloodshed.

    But Jameson International isn't just any company. It's owned by thirty-two-year-old business mogul and celebrity, Red Jameson. Red is known for his high flying lifestyle; dating models and hanging with the rich and famous. The powerful billionaire can have any woman he wants, and the naive college graduate can't imagine making much of an impression on her new CEO. But when Red Jameson takes notice of her and invites her up to his secluded office one day, everything changes. As it turns out, the powerful businessman also has a voracious sexual appetite, and it's been whetted by none other than Nicole herself. And Red needs to be in charge at every turn. Nicole isn't just any girl though, and Red Jameson's shocked to find that the young intern is more than a match for him in a battle of wits and will. What He Wants (Ten Books): Twenty-one-year-old law student Charlotte Holloway isn’t the type of girl to lust after things she can’t have. But when she starts working for the sexy and mysterious Noah Cutler, Charlotte can’t help but dream about the gorgeous billionaire, even though she knows it’s just a fantasy. Men like Noah – gorgeous, dark, and driven-- usually aren’t interested in women like her. Noah Cutler is a man who doesn’t take no for an answer. His drive to go after exactly what he wants has made him one of the most powerful men in the city. And while he could have his pick of any woman, his sights are set on Charlotte. And he won’t stop until he’s taken control of every inch of her deliciously curvy body…

    An Alpha Billionaire Romance Young coffee-house owner Sarah Bailey has finally got over the mysterious disappearance of her husband two years previously and is looking forward to her new life as a single woman. She doesn’t count on meeting Isaac Quinn, billionaire tech magnet, who sets out to seduce the beautiful Sarah. Unable to resist the incredible connection between them, they soon begin a passionate and sensual relationship that soon becomes headline news in the gossip columns. Their happiness is marred when Sarah attracts a jealous stalker who sends her threats and Isaac begins to wonder if his fame and status has put the woman he is falling in love in terrible, terrible danger…. Download your copy today!

     Danger is no stranger to the heartaches of the world. After losing her adoptive mother, she almost crumbles under a domino effect of misfortune. When she meets Sleep, she thinks she’s finally found a captain to save her, but when she learns his main goal is to pimp her out, Danger wastes no time getting from under his thumb. On the run to get as far away from Sleep as possible, she lands in Dallas, where she reunites with her bestie. Free is the true definition of dangerous curves. A BBW with enough personality to steal any show, she’s quick to flash a smile that hides her own set of demons. It’s hard to be comfortable in your skin, especially when family is the main one trying to tear you down, but Free is determined to stunt on everybody that has a problem with her weight— family included. Add the kind of street smarts that make a natural born hustler, and Free is every hitta’s dream come true. Whether they can handle her is the real question. Stranger is a self-made boss in his own right, a dude whose name rings bells in the streets and commands respect even while he’s locked up. Growing up with a schizophrenic for a mother made him unbreakable, but not above the law when he gets caught slipping. Done serving his time, he only has two things on his mind: hitting the streets and getting to the money by any means necessary. After stumbling across a connect and an offer he can’t refuse, Stranger agrees to collect a blood debt in exchange for the keys to the streets. Will his decision cost him more than he’s willing to give up? Where Stranger is a silent killer, Spazz, his younger brother, leaves a path of destruction with anything he touches. Wild, rude, and reckless, he’s ready to get it poppin’ if you even look at him wrong, and there’s only one thing that can tame his temper: his five-year-old daughter. With a mouth to feed and a street legacy to claim, he’s down with no hesitation when Stranger brings him into his plan to re-claim the streets. With his brother by his side, Spazz is ready to put his city on the map. Stranger never let his heart take his focus off the money, until he meets Danger. Mesmerized by her effortless beauty, he just has to have her, but there’s one problem: she’s on the arm of the same guy he’s planning to take down. Is he willing to kill for love? Spazz always gets what he wants, and he knows Free will be his from the minute he meets her. Never being attracted to BBWs in the past, he’s powerless against Free’s hypnotizing thickness, and her confidence and slick mouth are just the type of bonus that makes her worth the chase. Will he convince Free to take a chance on a real one? Ain’t nothin’ like lovin’ a savage, and once you get inside the head of one, your life will never be the same. Take a journey with Danger, Free, Stranger, and Spazz as they try to cheat the past for the future. Nothing goes as planned in love, especially once you’re Turned out by a Savage.

    Now comes the sequel… ‘Father, Son and Return to the Pennine Way’ picks up where Mark and Alex left off two years ago and sees them complete the last 100 miles of the Pennine Way. It’s a walk that tests them to their limits (well, one of them…) as they come close to exhaustion, even closer to being eaten alive and – armed only with a pair of shorts and a cup of tea – face-to-face with an assassin. …And, of course, they meet the inevitable cast of ‘characters.’ Barefoot Jimmy, Mr & Mrs Mad Eye, Lonesome Pete and ‘Theresa May.’ But there’s a serious side to the walk as well. It’s two years since they were last on the Pennine Way. They’re both two years older: how has their father/son relationship changed? Who’s really in charge this time? ‘Father, Son and the Pennine Way’ has been a consistent bestseller with over 130 5* reviews on Amazon. “My partner sent me to read in the spare room. All he could hear was me laughing! Would recommend this book to everyone, walkers or not.” ‘Return to the Pennine Way’ will make you laugh, smile and shed the occasional tear. You’ll be on the journey with Mark and Alex – and you won’t want it to end.

    Faricy takes things from there into a 'Can't put it down' tale that will have you riveted. A great read. - The Irish Gazette Two American women, Kate Betto and Megan Ganino, a redhead and a blonde, are arrested and cooperate with authorities to aid in the conviction of a pair of major drug dealers. At the conclusion of the trial, they're secretly flown back to the US to serve time. It happens to be the same day that Kate Murray and Megan Gaffney, a blonde and a redhead, arrive in Dublin to celebrate their college graduation, rent a car, and drive west. Things go terribly wrong almost immediately. US Marshal Jack Dillon and DI Paddy Suel investigate a torched rental car and quickly learn there's a lot more going on . . . and the clock is ticking! Grab your copy NOW!

    

    That's SIX Minecraft Diary Books in ONE!!! Season 2 Episode 1 Hunting the Golden Apple Skeleton Steve, Elias the Enderman Ninja, and Slinger the Spider are back for more, heading west from Zombietown in search of a golden apple, hoping that it will revive our hero's memory like it did for the mysterious enlightened zombie, Zenon. But as they travel to the castle of Elias's Minecraftian friends, stopping to see new sights on the way, they have no idea that they aren't alone... And to make matters worse, when they reach the castle, no one's home! A dark and intense attack late in the night by the evil and terrifying Doomstreak Clan reminds Skeleton Steve and his friends that something dreadful is creeping in Diamodia, and Skeleton Steve is directly involved! Will our heroes be able to survive the evil Endermen ninja clan? Will Skeleton Steve get his bony hands on that golden apple? Season 2 Episode 2 Assault on the Ocean Monument Season 2 Episode 3 All Gold that Glitters... Season 2 Episode 4 My Minecraftian Life Season 2 Episode 5 Introducing the Steve Season 2 Episode 6 The Doomstreak Clan The Season TWO Finale!! Love Minecraft adventure?? Buy this BUNDLE of books and read the "Skeleton Steve the Noob Years" Season Two TODAY! Join the Skeleton Steve Club! Check out my main website for details--it's in the book! (Get free Minecraft goodies, tips, books, maps, skins, seeds, and more!) Author's Note: This is an unofficial Minecraft book. Minecraft is a registered trademark of, and owned by, Mojang AB, and its respective owners, which do not approve, endorse, sponsor, or authorize this book. Minecraft®/TM & © 2009-2016 Mojang AB/Notch *** Tags: Minecraft Book, game fiction, Minecraft Books for Kids and Teens, minecraft games, game stories, game books, game story books, minecraft tips, minecraft secrets handbook, Minecraft Stories, kids books, minecraft free, minecraft xbox, minecraft story mode, minecraft handbook free, minecraft creepypasta, minecraft diary of a wimpy, game fanfiction, minecraft game, minecraft story book, Minecraft Steve series, minecraft journal book, minecraft comics, free kids books, Minecraft Kids Book, minecraft books for kids, Minecraft Villagers, Minecraft Creeper, herobrine, Minecraft Skeleton Steve, minecraftales, minecraft fanfiction, minecraft diaries, minecraft tales, minecraft short stories, minecraft gift, minecraft short story.

     So many times in the career of law enforcement officers, you end up saying "You just can't make this stuff up!" So, here are some insights as to the sorts of things that we have laid eyes on or experienced that we hope you'll enjoy! Please be aware that the stories in this book are REAL and some involve recounting nudity or other PG-16+ situations that you may want to consider if you find such real situations (that cops see and have to learn to laugh at) offensive.

    William Stuart, a compassionate platoon leader from the 7th ANGLICO (Air and Naval Gunfire Liaison Company) survived his unit's last battle but continued to mourn his losses. Douglas Moser, master of the .50 caliber machine gun, was one of those missing in action. Moser, a "gentle giant" of a man, had been Stuart's closest companion. In Valley of the Shadows, Stuart learns that the Red Cross has delivered a letter to Moser's mother informing her that he is a prisoner of war in Laos. "Tell Mr. Stuart," the letter closes. Stuart has his mission. Moser languishes in the POW camp, tormented daily by Nan, the disfigured, soul-dead camp commandant. Meanwhile, Stuart's mission takes him to the mountains of Moser's boyhood home in Georgia and on to the Foreign Legion archives in France as he searches for clues to the exact location of the camp. Along the way, Stuart recruits an old friend from their days together in Da Nang. Fellow navy officer Philip Hooper will bring along his elite team of SEALS (Sea, Air, Land) to form Moser's rescue party. Bureaucratic inertia in Washington and the rising anti-war movement conspire to stall the rescue interminably. Failure of a major operation to liberate the "Hanoi Hilton" adds to the forces arrayed against Moser's rescue. Finally, it is only through the direct intervention of the president that Stuart's mission is a go. But doubts remain: Has Stuart really found the "Valley of the Shadow" mentioned in Moser's letter? Is Moser still alive? And, most importantly, can Stuart, Hooper, and the SEALS really pull it off? Valley of the Shadow is dramatic, vivid, authentic - and surprising. "Old-fashioned heroism in a saga of Vietnam . . ." - Newsday

     Join Cooper and the rest of the C&C gang as they fight tyranny the best way they know how... by being assholes. The author's share of royalties from sales of this title are donated monthly to the ACLU. Join me in pissing in the face of tyranny.

    i really mean it! IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED AND BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS BOOK: SCOTTISH, WELSH, NORTHERN IRISH, IRISH CATHOLICS, COCKNEYS, CHAVS, UPPER CLASS ENGLISH TWATS, RELIGIOUS CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS, JEWS, HOMOSEXUALS, RESIDENTS OF WATFORD, THE ACTOR ROBERT CARLYLE, THE WORKING CLASSES, THE UNEMPLOYED PUB GOING DOLE SCROUNGERS, THE AUTHOR'S FRIEND DANIEL SKELTON, REPUBLICAN AMERICANS, SOUTHERN STATES AMERICANS, CHRISTIAN MIDWEST AMERICANS WITH TRADITIONAL VALUES, ANY AMERICAN, TRANSVESTITES, SUPPORTERS OF THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL SQUAD, IRANIANS, EX PRESIDENT OF IRAN MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, SYRIANS, BASHAR AL ASSAD, WAYNE ROONEY, BELGIUMS, AGATHA CHRISTIE, THE FRENCH, YAHOO MESSAGE BOARD COMMENTATORS, SOUTH AMERICAN CRIME CARTELS, PRIESTS AND REVERENDS, THE WRITER OF THIS BOOK, PALESTINIANS, ARABS IN GENERAL, OLD YIDDISH MEN, THE FICTIONAL OLLAWONGA TRIBE OF DARKEST AFRICA, THE WRITER AND READERS OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, THE CHINESE AND TONY BLAIR. IF YOU BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS WHO HAVE HAD A MORE THAN CAMEO MENTION/APPEARANCE IN THE NOVEL, PLEASE READ THE BOOK WITHOUT FEAR OF OFFENSIVE STEREOTYPING: ITALIANS. If you have got this far, then allow me to enlighten you about a secret so great that the general public has no idea about but every government in the world knows and they are involved in a consistent cover up to keep the horrors from you.. What are the Ethereals? Some say they are the personifications of iconic and stereotypical energies given life by our collective beliefs and imagination. Others say they started as humans and evolved for much the same reasons given above. Both viewpoints have a basis in truth. A decade ago one of the most fearsome of these beings 'The Englishman,' was banished from our plane of existence by a weeping Tony Blair who cut the throat of a small child in a necromantic energy ritual to do so. With such a price paid, the question has to be asked ... just how serious a threat has arisen from the Ethereal world that the British government's only option is to bring back the Englishman to save us!!!! Set in 2012 in the lead up to the US election ... welcome to the twisted world of Mad Dog and The Englishman. WARNING: The following piece of hack work contains levels of swearing, depraved activity and violent situations sufficient enough to have Jihadi John puking up his guts.