Both are pretty easy to put off as they're very expensive and tend to wreck your house.' Stand-up comedian Sam Avery (aka the Learner Parent) started his award-winning blog when his twin boys were born. A million nappies, Peppa Pig episodes and a lot less sleep later, he shares all the lows, highs and hilarious in-betweens of his experiences of first-time parenthood in this, his highly anticipated first book. Sam's honest, messy and laugh-out-loud account of trying for a baby (which transpired to be babIES) and figuring out what to do with them once they arrived - right up to the toddler years of talking, walking and tantrum-ing - will have you crying with laughter between your own nappy changes and nursery runs.

    In the London office my new boss Victor tells me I shall be working in a regional office - and he wants me to drive there. I am to deliver Victor's shiny Jaguar: his pride and joy. The office is in Calcutta. This all sounds like fun to me. A month long holiday. How bad can that be I think and decide to invite my friend Douglas to come along for the ride. This will be a road trip to die for I tell him. Victor's P.A. Shirley is the all seeing eye. Nothing gets past here. I have to report in on my progress at key points on the route. Shirley is going to be watching me. 'If you so much as scratch it you're dead.' I laugh, what could possibly go wrong....? well just about everything. We were OK up till Trieste; then a goat got in the car - after that it was downhill all the way to Calcutta.

    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    Yet, the one constant in the history of the Apache People is their constant struggle to survive in a world where they are surrounded by various enemies, including other Indian tribes, the Mexicans and finally their brutal nemesis the United States Army. Attacked, tricked, lied to and double crossed by all of those who surround and outnumber them, the Apache people continued their struggle until they were for all intent and purposes almost totally wiped out. One Apache’s name stands out in their brave yet woeful history and it is Geronimo, who at age 30 witnessed the massacre of his mother, wife and two young children.I’ve taken his recollections or accounts of the struggle of the Apache people and intertwined them with some archeological facts about this extraordinary tribe. In addition, I have searched and included some of the best photos of Apaches from that era, which I collected from Library of Congress Archives. What impressed me most about Geronimo was his brevity of words, yet his ability to take a knife to the heart of anyone who reads his verbal history. Like most Apaches, Geronimo said little, but what he did say was profound and truthful. But most powerful is what Geronimo didn’t say in his recollections. It is between this silence one can feel the pain, sorrow, pride and bravery of the Apache People. Chet DembeckPublisher of One

    Respected physician, loving husband, devoted father, and trusted friend. Grant was a straight-laced kid who grew up to be a clean-living adult. No drinking, no smoking, and certainly no drugs. It took everyone by surprise, most of all himself, when he became addicted to narcotics in his 30s. His story hit local press when he was found guilty of professional misconduct related to his addition, including over-prescribing painkillers to patients so he could buy them back--an infraction that caused his physician license to be suspended.Matheson's memoir is a gritty account of his narcotic addiction and all that it cost him: various relationships, his career, and almost his life. The Golden Boy takes the reader from the very first day of Matheson's drug addiction to that moment when he decided to rebuild his life through rehab and recovery.

    Featuring all new, never before published material, Crows, Papua New Guinea, and Boats is the latest release by David Thorne, author of The Internet is a Playground and 27bslash6.com

    Pills’ Pharmacy Hub comes a book about some of the wildest customers that pharmacists have dealt with in retail pharmacy. Journey into the world of retail pharmacy with 80 hilarious short stories: a world where people are not that bright but always think they are right, and where the word patience doesn’t exist. A world with druggies coming up with some not-so-clever schemes to get their fix. A world where people think throwing ice cream in your face is an acceptable way to get your attention. A world with a new twist at every turn--just when you think you’ve seen everything, someone always finds a way to surprise you.

    ‘That Bear Ate My Pants!’, ‘Don’t Need The Whole Dog!’ and ‘Kamikaze Kangaroos!’ follow on from one another to form a hilarious and heart-warming adventure that spans the globe.Over a thousand pages in total, with more than 1,900 5-star reviews across Amazon, these three tales are guaranteed to keep you chuckling into the early hours. *** Save 1/3 off the individual cover prices with this special box-set edition for a limited time only! *** 'That Bear Ate My Pants!' The incredible TRUE story of one man's struggle to survive in an Ecuadorian animal refuge.There comes a time in every man’s life when he says to himself, "Holy crap! I’m about to be eaten by a bear!"Tony James Slater went to Ecuador, determined to become a man.It never occurred to him that 'or die trying' might be an option...The trouble with volunteering in a South American animal refuge is that everything wants a piece of you. And the trouble with being Tony, is that most of them got one.Just how do you 'look after' something that’s trying it’s damnedest to kill you and eat you?And how do you find love when you a) don’t speak the language, and b) are constantly covered in excrement and entrails?If only he’d had some relevant experience. Other than owning a pet rabbit when he was nine. And if only he’d bought some travel insurance... 'Don’t Need The Whole Dog!’ The bizarre-but-true story of one man's epic mission to escape the daily grind, and find his destiny in paradise. In the summer of 2004, Tony James Slater went to Ecuador, looking to become a man.Not all of him returned. But the bit that did was fuelled by a burning desire to do... something.Something that mattered.And, ideally, to get the hell out of England in the process.His dream was to blatantly steal his friend Toby's dream –of escaping to Thailand and becoming a professional diver.But when a man like this goes on a search for adventure, it's bound to end in tears.After all, this isn't just any old idiot.This is Tony James Slater – the man who was carrying that jaguar when it woke up.And to make things worse – he's not alone…So batten down the hatches! Lock up your power tools! Andfor gawd's sake turn the electricity off.Because that idiot from Ecuador is back.And this time, he's brought the whole family… ‘Kamikaze Kangaroos!’ Tony James Slater knew nothing about Australia.Except for the fact that he’d just arrived there.The stage is set for an outrageous adventure: three people, one van, on an epic, 20,000 mile road trip around Australia.What could possibly go wrong?Of course, the van – nicknamed ‘Rusty’ – is a crumbling wreck, held together by the world’s most garish paint job.

    This is not the face I know so well. I am looking at the handiwork of a mountain lion; he ambushed me while I was biking in Whiting Ranch Wilderness Park on January 8th, 2004. My neck sustained more than ten deep bite wounds and my mangled face was pieced together using more than 200 stitches and staples.' - Anne Hjelle. 'Skin Deep' tells the incredible true story of one woman's battle for survival following a vicious mountain lion attack and the daunting emotional and physical challenges she faced during her recovery. In moving detail, Anne Hjelle's describes her transformation from a wounded victim to a survivor, a woman who managed to come to terms with her new identity, and learned to live by the words ‘feed your faith, not your fear’. From her first surgery, to the day she went back to Cactus Hill Trail- the scene of her near death experience, Anne tells all in this captivating and evocative personal account which will both move and terrify you from the first page to the last. 'Skin Deep' is an inspiring personal story of tragedy and renewal, a book about what is important in life and about the nature of beauty. There are more details at www.annehjelle.com. Anne Hjelle is originally from Apple Valley, Minn., but came to live in California while serving in the United States Marine Corps as a helicopter mechanic. Anne has worked in the fitness industry as a personal trainer for the past 16 years. She is a regular public speaker telling the story of surviving the mountain lion attack, and of her life journey thereafter.Damien Lewis is an award winning and internationally best-selling British author, published in some thirty-six languages worldwide. He has co-authored several powerful and compelling memoirs with women, including the acclaimed international number one best-seller 'Slave' co-written with Mende NazerGreg Hardesty is a well-known journalist, trail runner and outdoor enthusiast in Orange County, California. He has been an award-winning reporter for nearly 25 years, covering general news, crime and business for the Orange County Register for the last 13 years. Endeavour Press is the UK's leading independent digital publisher.

    After building the Buffalo Bills team that went to four consecutive Super Bowls and taking the expansion Carolina Panthers to the NFC Championship just two years after the team’s creation, he was responsible for the Indianapolis Colts drafting Peyton Manning with the first overall pick in 1998 and oversaw the team’s victory in Super Bowl XLI. Now, Polian shares his blueprint for building a successful football team in The Game Plan. He details the decisions both a team needs to make in the regular season and the offseason to bring teams to the postseason and the NFL’s ultimate test of a well-built team: the Super Bowl.

    This tell-all story will put you on the front line of the reality of street paramedicine. From gruesome and violent encounters to making split-second decisions which may have cost a life, experience the emotional struggle our responders have to deal with on a daily basis. Through the highs and lows of his career, ten-year Paramedic David Stone doesn't hold back as he tells of the circumstances which haunted him and eventually drove him out of the career... and why it was all worth it in the end. Ride front seat with this thrill-packed memoir encompassing over a decade of true stories from the medic who experienced it.

    This candid autobiography will demystify medical education and inspire you. Equal parts heartfelt, self-deprecating humor, and irreverent storytelling, John takes us along for the ride as he tracks his transformation from uncertain, head injured, liberal-arts student to intern, resident and then medical doctor.

    Yes, it is really that good." "This is going to be my 'go to book' when I've had a bad day!" Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

    It was the U.K.’s worst rail disaster in years. On the morning of October 5, 1999, two rush-hour commuter trains collided just outside London. Hundreds were feared dead. Though he was traveling in the front-most carriage, the novelist Andrew Rosenheim survived the crash. In “The Secrets of Carriage H,” Rosenheim recalls in heart-pounding detail the events of that day and opens up about the emotional rollercoaster that consumed him for months thereafter. Told with the rich textures of a novel and the bare heart of a memoir, “The Secrets of Carriage H” explores the unspoken consequences of survival and offers brutal, sometimes hilarious insight into the human condition. Andrew Rosenheim was born and raised in Chicago, but has lived in England for the last thirty-five years. He worked in publishing for many years at Oxford University Press and then as the Managing Director of Penguin Press. He is the author of seven novels, most recently Fear Itself and The Little Tokyo Informant. His writing has appeared in The Times, The New York Times, the Times Literary Supplement, and many other publications. Married, he lives with his wife and twin daughters near Oxford and is the editor of Kindle Singles in the U.K.Cover design by Evan Twohy.

    At first I tried to deny my condition (trying to treat a tumor with hot baths and ice packs). Eventually, I decided I would learn as much about my illness as possible while trying to keep my emotions on hold.What followed was an experience that finally forced me to deal with issues about my body that I had tried to ignore for decades. Along the way I dealt with a physician who gave me ridiculous advice and acquaintances who asked unbelievable questions. But I was also fortunate to be surrounded by people who supported me and doctors who helped me through the process.