It’s a world of craziness, lost reservations, the “Master Bait & Tackle Shop”, Pet Jacuzzis, Pompeii pornography, the Electric Chair beauty salon, Cowboy poetry gatherings, strips searches, a Cannabis festival, the “Miss Swamp Buggy” beauty contest, cancelled flights, tattooed Santa, the “Shrub Guy”, an Iranian comic, free dwarf mice, and Hitler’s town car on display in a Las Vegas casino. After reading Ken Levine’s hilarious and instructive excursions, you’ll be on the phone to your travel agent, either booking or canceling your next trip.

    But it's Cassidy who notices one calf has gone missing from the herd and is stuck in the river! Can Cassidy help save the day?Little ones will love hearing this story as a narrator reads to them, page by page. And if she's nearby, the Cassidy Story Buddy® stuffed animal will respond when you read key phrases from the story.

     Are you ready to potty train your child quickly and with success? This best-selling book is the answer. Becky Mansfield, child development expert at YourModernFamily.com shows you exactly how to do it successfully. It is the only complete guide to potty training that you will need. You can train your child earlier and faster than you thought possible! In this book, you will learn... *Signs of readiness *The secret to potty training in three days *What to do when they won't poop on the potty *How to handle regression *What to do when your child is not at home *Should you use charts and rewards? *What is the best way to potty train a boy? *How to potty train at night You will not be going back and forth between diapers, pull-ups and underwear anymore. This book has been marked as the best potty training book by multiple speakers around the world. It has been read by tens of thousands of parents and they all say one thing: It is the only guide you will need for potty training success. It is filled with all of the information and tools that you need to start potty training and complete it in three days. As a bonus, this second edition book has an added chapter to teach parents how to potty train a special needs child. Parents all over the world are having success with this system and now you can, too!

    With Arbitron ratings clocking over 3+ million listeners a week and simulcast daily in 37 million homes on Free Speech TV, where she is also the number one show, her strongest numbers are in the grand prize demographic of highly educated males 25-54, despite, or maybe because of , her status as an out gay woman. It probably explains the sublime effectiveness of her national billboard slogan: "Stephanie Miller...making men rise in the morning". Stephanie also headlined the country’s number one comedy tour, “Stephanie Miller’s Sexy Liberal Comedy Tour", as well as the number one comedy album, "Stephanie Miller's Sexy Liberal Comedy Album". She has recently had her second #1 comedy album in the country with her "Stephanie Miller's Happy Hour, Volume One". She frequents the Holy Trinity of cable news: CNN, MSNBC, and FOX, where she bursts the infallibility balloons of right wingers, often with one well-aimed pinpoint punchline. Here is SEXY LIBERAL!, which you can see as Al Franken rewritten by Sarah Silverman, Chelsea Handler horizontal on the desk of The Daily Show. Steph is the youngest child of Congressman William Miller of NY, Barry Goldwater’s running mate in 1964. We all know how that turned out. Though Steph was only 3, she shows here how that defeat affected her as much as it changed the Republican Party. It made her who she is. SEXY LIBERAL! is the book her 3,000,000 fans have been begging her to write. it’s both deeply personal and hilariously political. But most of all it is Stephanie’s unique voice, her jokes, her happy clappy optimism, and her truth that they tune in to day after day, that they download as a subscription podcast, that they buy tickets for, to see her unbleeped and in person. That’s what SEXY LIBERAL! delivers. Like an uncensored comedy drone right to your door!“Stephanie Miller is like ice cream for breakfast, or box-wine through a Krazy Straw: pure pleasure that some people say is bad for you, but you know better. Sexy Liberal! is deeply, deeply profane, big-hearted, surprising, and it might make you pee your pants a little. Just what you need! Read this book. Stephanie Miller for Everything, 2016!”--Rachel Maddow, host of The Rachel Maddow and author of Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power “Sexy Liberal! is a great book with mind-expanding astuteness and side-splitting humor. Stephanie Miller is so wondrously witty and wise you will want to quote her. But, first, you must read her. Buy this book and help Amazon at last turn a profit. --Lily Tomlin “Sexy Liberal! is inspired reading. It is laugh-enhancing and beyond thought-provoking! A must read. --Jane Wagner Reading Stephanie's book is like being on the best kind of dinner date. The conversation is smart, funny and politically insightful. And Stephanie's contribution bad either. Seriously, what a fun read. Stephanie, in her wonderfully self-deprecating way, lets you into her brilliant mind, her no BS take on the political scene, and life itself. Enter at your own risk.--Rob Reiner

     When Queen Beatrice visits the royal family of Norway, she receives a lovely surprise gift, a cute fluffy kitten. She names the kitten Albert and brings him home to live in the palace. As Albert grows up he gets into all kinds of trouble. Albert has many friends at the palace, including Isabelle the Chambermaid, Gerard the Butler, Angus the Chauffeur, Norman the Grenadier Guard, Princess Sophie, Prince Nicholas and his best friend Sergeant Major, the Magpie. Albert travels to lots of lovely places with the Queen, meets lots of nice people and some not so nice. If Albert does not like you, then watch out. His favourite trick is rubbing his paws on the carpet and giving you a nasty electric shock, which can be painful. Albert loves to roll in smelly horse poo and it’s usually left to Isabelle to bath him before the Queen finds out. Life is good at the palace and Albert makes the most of his position as The Queen’s Cat. In this story Albert wonders if the Queen has remembered his first anniversary at the royal palace and he also meets an unfriendly dog.

     Kell discovers that his neighbor, Bree Hendricks, turns 9-years-old next month and she wants a party with an alien theme. That should be simple as flying from star to star. But things aren’t that easy: Earthling’s ideas about aliens are totally wrong. Even worse, Principal Lynx is a UFO-Chaser and suspects aliens around every corner. Will the Aliens totally blow the Aliens Party? Will Principal Lynx capture Kell and his family and them over to the government? Will an alien boy find school friends? Kell must find a way to fit into the school life and make friends. In art class, music class and home room, he must learn the ways of Earthlings. His next door neighbor, Bree, makes it easier and helps the family find a way to make a living. A new spin on books for readers in grades two, three, four, and five Easy Chapter Book series Chapter Book Series for boys Chapter Book Series for Girls Chapter Book Series for ages 7-10 Humor for Kids – “A Funny Book” The alien family, the Smiths, understand little of Earth’s culture, which results in funny situations. For one thing, Bixsters are hatched, not born. When Kell finds out that humans cook with eggs, he is horrified. And there are those bugs that bite or sting. Kell can’t get away from them. Discover what other readers already know “Amusing, accessible, engaging” – Publisher’s Weekly Scroll up and get your copy of Kell, the Alien at the everyday low price! Read more of the ALIENS INC. CHAPTER BOOK SERIES BOOK 1: Kell, the Alien BOOK 2: Kell and the Horse Apple Parade BOOK 3: Kell and the Giants BOOK 4: Kell and the Detectives Art Teachers: Every volume stars with a scene in the art classroom, creating something fun. Family story: When th Smith family is shipwrecked on Earth, they must learn to depend on each other.

    The first disastrous adventure of Sascha Martin, the eight year old inventor who brings new meaning, and catastrophe, to Show and Tell. A book designed to be read aloud, with pictures and verse that children will adore. Sascha Martin’s Rocket-Ship is a wild, funny, deliciously silly adventure wrapped in rhyming verse and Manuela Pentangelo’s wonderful illustrations. Flying pies meet screaming teachers high above the school in this debut disaster featuring Sascha Martin, an eight-year old boy whose genius knows no responsibility.

    Moving to the countryside of Tennessee, she finds the lifestyle to be ideal except that boredom eventually creeps in. A part-time job leads to discovering the joys of working as a volunteer EMT on an all-volunteer rescue Squad. From farm accidents and angry animals, to redneck fun, loneliness and love, Roxy’s life is unlike anything she ever knew growing up in Georgia. She gets a front seat to stupid things people do, as well as the kindnesses that people are capable of giving to others.

    Offered for free by Apple and Touchstone, a trademark of Simon & Schuster Inc., contains selections from the two books mentioned in the title.

    No really, it is. Let me explain.It turns out that drooling dogs and ringing bells are far more important than a logo (thank you Pavlov).Sure, successful businesses have logos--easily recognizable logos. Playboy, McDonald's, Coke. But there's far more to their success than bunny ears, golden arches or a certain shade of red. Stripped of all the marketing lingo, branding is pretty simple: Your brand is all the associations that come to mind when your potential customers see or hear your name.Whether your focus is on personal branding or on branding your company culture--you've got to have more than a fancy logo and edgy color scheme to create brand stickability (you know, a brand your customers can't get out of their heads).Well, there’s a process to capturing attention and getting your foot in the door of your customers’ minds. Here's a taste of some of the personal branding advice you'll find in this book:You must become the first solution your customer thinks of when they have a problem you can solve. How?The first step is to figure out what your audience cares about. What keeps them up at night? What problems can you help them solve? From there, you need to apply these three steps:1) Frequency2) Repetition3) AnchoringIn this e-book, we’ll show you how to figure out what your customers really want. Then we will show you how to apply these three steps to help you become the trusted resource that comes to mind first when your customer’s itch needs to be scratched.Is real and authentic branding going to happen overnight? Probably not. But ask yourself this: Do you want short-term results that lose effectiveness? Or are you willing to invest a bit more time and effort to create long-term results that get better and better?If you're looking for a branding book that promises a quick fix, this isn't the book for you. But if you want to create a brand that sticks like superglue--read this book!Go ahead and let the wimps and whiners have the get-rich quick schemes that fizzle and fall flat like a wet firework. You want to ignite a branding bonfire.

    This fun, witty, humorous story will point you in the right, or you can say, BAD, direction. For all you hopeful apprentices, this entertaining guide will guarantee loads of fun and laughter.

    Kirkland is a master at finding the small hidden bits of humor in events that the rest of us might just as easily overlook. His goal with his writing has always been to let his readers laugh with him and at him, and by doing so, finding a way to laugh at themselves. His previous books have been called "a must-have for all of us who love to just sit back and laugh." This book follows that tradition.Recipient of the 2006 Stephen Leacock Award of Merit for Humour (Canada.)

    One of her debts is with the owner of a landscaping company. Could she pay him back in services? He seems nice enough...Excerpt:As soon as Jeff walked into his office, he knew something was amiss because it was Monday morning and Todd and Alan were all smiles. When he stepped in, Mitch seemed to come out of nowhere, slapping him on the back and telling him what a glorious Monday morning it was.In his seven years working with Todd and Alan, Jeff had never seen them smile; he didn’t even know they could smile. And as for Mitch ... he must have smelled too many of those weeds they were taking out of their clients’ yards.Completely dumbfounded, he turned the corner into his office and immediately realized it wasn't weeds or weed. The reason behind the smiles on and the cheery disposition of these clowns on this glorious Monday morning took another shape altogether.Stumbling into his office after being caught off guard and slapped on the back, he was immediately greeted by the most gorgeous, ass-thetically pleasing tush in tight jeans he had seen in a long, long time.He wondered what the face looked like and quickly decided it didn't really matter as he focused on her assets while she was bent down shuffling through some papers and totally unaware of the eight eyes boring through her. Four pair of eyes who should have been working on something, but couldn't disengage.The fact that she was rummaging through his papers didn’t immediately register.The woman turned around without looking up and carried a stack of papers to a file cabinet that had come with the building and had never been used. As far as he could recall, the cabinet had never been opened, and so far, had been used as a shelf for a silk plant his mother gave him as a gift when he started the business.To his dismay, the plant was now in the trash bin next to the file cabinet. That hurt.The woman was oblivious to the attention she was getting and after depositing the stack of papers in a neat pile in the top drawer of the file cabinet, she turned around to see a gaping Jeff standing before her.The first thing Jeff thought before hinging his jaw back into place was that the woman's front-side was just as pretty as her backside. She looked to be in her early thirties, and not only wore the jeans very well, but the white t-shirt she had on was filled out in all the right places and looked like an advertisement for trouble.She was petite, but disproportionately bigger where it really mattered. Her hair was tied with one of those elastic fabric bands his nieces always wore, and her eyes were as green as the silk plant had once been.Jeff gave himself a few seconds before giving in to reason. Regretfully, he decided it was time to put an end to his enjoyment - nice tush or not. After all, this was his office, he was the boss, and he had no idea what the hell was going on.“What did you do to my plant?!” was somehow the first thing that came out of his mouth. As if realizing how stupid his remark was, Jeff rather forcefully shoved his amused employees out of the way and out of his office.She looked down at the trash bin he was pointing to, and she suddenly seemed very confused when she looked up to see his expectant and slightly flushed face.“It’s dead. I don't think it can be saved, so I threw it out." Bending down to get it, she added, "I can put it back up he ..."Now that really hurt. Not to mention the fact that her bending down again completely disarmed him.“How can silk be dead?” he snapped.“That was silk?" she replied smiling. "Wow, I never met anyone who could kill silk before.”Jeff tried to ignore the chuckles coming from the room next door, but just as he was about to snap at them, the intruder...

    This chronicle of life in the skin trade follows the meteoric rise of Stacey Keith, a girl scarcely out of her teens whose eye-popping assets launch her from wet T-shirt contests to the catwalks of Houston, strip bar capital of the world. Almost overnight, she is discovered by a famous porn star, who Svengalis her onto the pages of Playboy, Penthouse, and dozens of other men’s magazines. While strutting her stuff onstage and across the country, Stacey makes the fateful decision to head to Hollywood. She’s got everything a girl could want: fame, attention, endless piles of cash...but no idea what awaits her. With Internet porn overtaking men’s magazines, everyone from her Mafia-boss road manager to her smarmy talent agent pressures Stacey to do more than just flash her flesh. Uber-boob filmmaker Russ Meyer verbally abuses her; rocker Don Henley tries to use her. Yet through it all, from the warped misogyny of Playboy to the S&M dungeons of the Pacific Palisades, Stacey’s dark, self-deprecating humor will leave you laughing, crying and rooting for her at every step of the way.

    Now with twice the number of stories of stupidity coming to the hospital, emergency room and operating room. DR Payne has been taking care of patients for over 18 years in places from Alaska to the American South and she has seen her share of Stupid. Feel a little less stupid today after you read this book. Sections include: Stupid in Action Stupid in Word Stupid in Thought Stupid Baby Names Notable Tattoos A Final Thought