Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life


Stuart Shanker - 2016
    Rooted in decades of clinical practice and research by leading child psychologist Dr. Stuart Shanker, Self-Reg realigns the power of the parent-child relationship for positive change. Self-regulation is the nervous system's way of responding to stress. We are seeing a generation of children and teens with excessively high levels of stress and, as a result, an explosion of emotional, social, learning, behavior, and physical health problems. But few parents recognize the "hidden stressors" that their children are struggling with: physiological as well as social and emotional. An entrenched view of child rearing is seeing our children as lacking self-control or will-power, but the real basis for these problems lies in excessive stress.Self-regulation can dramatically improve a child's mood, attention, and concentration. It can help children to feel empathy and to develop the sorts of virtues that every parent knows are vital for their child's long-term well-being. Self-regulation brings about profound and lasting transformation that continues to mature throughout life. Shanker translates decades of his findings from working with children into practical, prescriptive advice for parents, giving them concrete ways to develop their self-regulation skills and teach their children how to do the same for optimal learning, social, and emotional growth as well as for overall well-being.

Permission to Parent: How to Raise Your Child with Love and Limits


Robin Berman - 2014
    Children have become the center of the universe, ruling the roost with some serious ramifications for their wellbeing. By trying to constantly please their children and make them happy, parents are actually making their children anxious. In attempting to veer from the strictness of their own upbringing, many parents have gone too far the other way, showering praise onto their children in the hope of increasing self-esteem, forgetting that self-control is a key to instilling self-confidence. Dr. Robin Berman’s extensive clinical experience has helped parents and children navigate the emotional and psychological minefields of family dynamics. In this essential parenting guide, she strikes the perfect balance of advice, anecdote, and research, explaining why parents need to be in charge and providing the tools they can use to give their children what they really need: limits, time, and more love. Ten Tips from Permission to ParentParenting is not a democracy. Rules make kids feel safe.Don’t be emotionally bullied by your child. Emotionally wimpy parenting leads to emotionally fragile kids.A child who has too much power often becomes anxious.Catering to your child’s every whim can lead to a child who is self-centered and lacks empathy.Look long-term at a child who hasn’t faced consequences for behavior and, therefore, never learned accountability: Would you want to date this person as an adult?If you say, “If you do that one more time,” mean it. Consistent follow-through is essential for a child’s emotional safety and your sanity.Keep your eye on the long-term goal of raising a lovely child. Remember your mantra: Hate me now, thank me later.Talk less, give fewer choices, keep it simple. Less is clearly more.No is a complete sentence. No does not begin a negotiation.Reverse negotiate. The more they argue, the less they get. It works like a charm.

Weird Parenting Wins: Bathtub Dining, Family Screams, and Other Hacks from the Parenting Trenches


Hillary Frank - 2019
    These "weird parenting wins" were born of moments when the expert advice wasn't working, and instead of freaking out, these parents had a stroke of genius. For example, there's the dad who pig-snorted in his baby's ear to get her to stop crying, and the mom who made a "flat daddy" out of cardboard and sat it at the dinner table when her kids were missing their deployed military father. Every parent and kid is unique, and as we get to know our kids, we can figure out what makes them tick. Because this is an ongoing process, Weird Parenting Wins covers children of all ages, ranging in topics from "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Act Like a Person" (on hygiene, potty training, and manners) to "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Tell You Things" (because eventually, they're going to be tight-lipped). You may find that someone else's weird parenting win works for you, or you might be inspired to try something new the next time you're stuck in a parenting rut. Or maybe you'll just get a good laugh out of the mom who got her kid to try beets because...it might turn her poop pink.

The Happy Kid Handbook: How to Raise Joyful Children in a Stressful World


Katie Hurley - 2015
       Parenting today has gotten far too complicated. It’s never been the easiest job in the world, but with all the “parenting advice” parents are met with at every corner, it’s hard not to become bewildered. It seems that in the past it was a good deal simpler. You made sure there was dinner on the table and the kids got to school on time and no one set anything on fire, and you called it a success. But today everybody has a different method for dealing with the madness--attachment parenting, free-range parenting, mindful parenting. And who is to say one is more right or better than another? How do you choose?     The truth is that whatever drumbeat you march to, all parents would agree that we just want our kids to be happy. It seems like a no-brainer, right? But in the face of all the many parenting theories out there, happiness feels like it has become incidental. That’s where The Happy Kid Handbook by child and adolescent psychotherapist and parenting expert Katie Hurley comes in. She shows parents how happiness is the key to raising confident, capable children. It’s not about giving in every time your child wants something so they won’t feel bad when you say no, or making sure that they’re taking that art class, and the ballet class, and the soccer class (to help with their creativity and their coordination and all that excess energy). Happiness is about parenting the individual, because not every child is the same, and not every child will respond to parenting the same way. By exploring the differences among introverts, extroverts, and everything in between, this definitive guide to parenting offers parents the specific strategies they need to meet their child exactly where he or she needs to be met from a social-emotional perspective. A back-to-basics guide to parenting, The Happy Kid Handbook is a must-have for any parent hoping to be the best parent they can be.

Baby Minds: Brain-Building Games Your Baby Will Love


Linda Acredolo - 2000
    It is also showing how experiences during the first years of life profoundly influence intelligence, creativity, language development-and even later reading and math skills.Now two psychologists and child development experts-authors of the bestselling Baby Signs-have created a delightful guide for parents based on the most up-to-date knowledge of how babies discover the world. You'll learn how to:_ Create a homemade mobile to stimulate your three-month-old's delight in solving problems_ Play a patty-cake game to help your two-year-old make logical connections_ Initiate bedtime conversations that build your child's memory and sense of personal history_ Develop "Baby Signs" to help your toddler communicate before he or she can talk_ Stimulate your child's natural number skills with puppets and counting games_ Use nursery rhymes and special read-aloud techniques to foster reading readiness_ Nurture budding creativity with humor and fantasy play_ And much more!Baby Minds is not another program for creating "super babies." Instead it builds on activities that babies instinctively love to develop their unique abilities and make your daily interactions full of the joy of discovery-for both of you.

Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety


Judith Warner - 2005
    When she returned to the States, she was stunned by the cultural differences she found toward how people think about effective parenting--in particular, assumptions about motherhood. None of the mothers she met seemed happy; instead, they worried about the possibility of not having the perfect child, panicking as each developmental benchmark approached.Combining close readings of mainstream magazines, TV shows, and pop culture with a thorough command of dominant ideas in recent psychological, social, and economic theory, Perfect Madness addresses our cultural assumptions, and examines the forces that have shaped them.Working in the tradition of classics like Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique and Christopher Lasch's The Culture of Narcissism, and with an awareness of a readership that turned recent hits like The Bitch in the House and Allison Pearson's I Don't Know How She Does It into bestsellers, Warner offers a context in which to understand parenting culture and the way we live, as well as ways of imagining alternatives--actual concrete changes--that might better our lives.

Zero to Five: 70 Essential Parenting Tips Based on Science (and What I've Learned So Far)


Tracy Cutchlow - 2014
    Or you could read Zero to Five: 70 Essential Parenting Tips Based on Science. Tracy Cutchlow cuts to the chase, summarizing the best scientific research in bite-sized chunks. One tip per page + beautiful photographs = cool + easy.Combining the warmth of a best friend with her simple, clear style, Tracy addresses questions such as:* Should I talk to my pregnant belly / newborn? Is that going to feel weird? (Yes, and absolutely.)* How do I help baby sleep well? (Start with the 45-minute rule.)* How can I instill a love of learning in my child? (With specific types of praise and criticism.)* What boosts my child’s success in school? (It's not what you think.)* My kindergartner loves videos and cell-phone games. That’s cool, right? (If you play, too.)* What tamps down temper tantrums? (Naming emotions out loud.)* My sweet baby just hit a playmate / lied to me about un-potting the plant / talked back. Now what? (OK, this is a whole section of the book.)* How do I get through an entire day of this? (With help. Lots of help.) Zero to Five is here to help. Make it your guide to the crazy wonderful journey that is parenting.

The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence


Rachel Simmons - 2009
    Unerringly nice, polite, modest, and selfless, the Good Girl is a paradigm so narrowly defined that it's unachievable. When girls inevitably fail to live up- experiencing conflicts with peers, making mistakes in the classroom or on the playing field-they are paralyzed by self-criticism, stunting the growth of vital skills and habits. Simmons traces the poisonous impact of Good Girl pressure on development and provides a strategy to reverse the tide. At once expository and prescriptive, The Curse of the Good Girl is a call to arms from a new front in female empowerment. Looking to the stories shared by the women and girls who attend her workshops, Simmons shows that Good Girl pressure from parents, teachers, coaches, media, and peers erects a psychological glass ceiling that begins to enforce its confines in girlhood and extends across the female lifespan. The curse of the Good Girl erodes girls' ability to know, express, and manage a complete range of feelings. It expects girls to be selfless, limiting the expression of their needs. It requires modesty, depriving the permission to articulate their strengths and goals. It diminishes assertive body language, quieting voices and weakening handshakes. It touches all areas of girls' lives and follows many into adulthood, limiting their personal and professional potential. Since the popularization of the Ophelia phenomenon, we have lamented the loss of self-esteem in adolescent girls, recognizing that while the doors of opportunity are open to twenty-first-century American girls, many lack the confidence to walk through them. In The Curse of the Good Girl, Simmons provides a catalog of tangible lessons in bolstering the self and silencing the curse of the Good Girl. At the core of Simmons's radical argument is her belief that the most critical freedom we can win for our daughters is the liberty not only to listen to their inner voice but also to act on it. Watch a Video

The Scaffold Effect: Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant, and Secure Kids in an Age of Anxiety


Harold Koplewicz - 2021
    Siegel, MD, author of The Whole Brain ChildJust as sturdy scaffolding is necessary when erecting a building and will come down when the structure grows stable, good parenting provides children with steady and warm emotional nourishment on the path toward independence. Never-ending parental problem-solving and involvement can have the opposite effect, enabling fragility and anxiety over time.In The Scaffold Effect, world-renowned child psychiatrist Harold Koplewicz introduces the powerful and clinically tested idea that this deliberate build-up and then gradual loosening of parental support is the single most effective way to encourage kids to climb higher, try new things, grow from mistakes, and develop character and strength. Explaining the building blocks of an effective scaffold from infancy through young adulthood, he expertly guides parents through the strategies for raising empowered, capable people, including:- Lay a solid foundation: The parent-child relationship needs to be made from the concrete mixture of emotional availability, positive reinforcement, clear messaging, and consistent rules. From this supportive base, your will forge a bond that will survive adolescence and grow stronger into adulthood.- Empower growth: Skyscraper or sprawling ranch--the style of your child's construction is not up to you! Scaffold parenting validates and accommodates the shape the child is growing into. Any effort to block or control growth will actually stunt it.- Stay on their level: Imagine being on the ground floor of a house and trying to talk to someone on the roof. The person on the roof will have to "talk down" to you or yell. If your child's building and your scaffold are on the same level, you can speak directly, look each other in the eye, and keep the lines of communication open.Drawing on Dr. Koplewicz's decades of clinical and personal experience, The Scaffold Effect is a compassionate, street-smart, and essential guide for the ages.All of the author's proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to the Child Mind Institute.

Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives: A Holistic Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth


Deepak Chopra - 2005
    Its ideas derive from two sources: the ancient wisdom of Ayurveda, with its emphasis on body, mind, and spirit, and the latest Western scientific prenatal research. By integrating the best information from these two very different perspectives, this remarkable book gives readers the tools to ensure that our children are nourished by thoughts, words, and actions from the very moment of conception.Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives is rich in practical information, including strategies to help enliven the body intelligence of unborn babies by nourishing each of their five senses, as well as through Ayurvedically balanced nutrition and eating with awareness. Specific yoga poses and meditation techniques reduce the mother’s stress and improve the infant’s emotional environment, as do tips for conscious communication with a partner. Exercises prepare parents for the experience of childbirth itself, followed by natural approaches to dealing with the first weeks of parenting, from healing herbs to enhancing your milk supply to coping with postpartum depression.Inspiring, expansive, and remarkably informative, this unique book from acclaimed experts in mind-body medicine will profoundly enhance the experience of pregnancy and birth for both parents and baby.

The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership


Richard Eyre - 2001
    Number-one New York Times bestselling authors Richard and Linda Eyre, have spent the last twenty-five years helping parents nurture strong, healthy families. Now they've synthesized their vast experience in an essential blueprint to instilling children with a sense of ownership, responsibility, and self-sufficiency. At the heart of their plan is the "Family Economy" complete with a family bank, checkbooks for kids, and a system of initiative-building responsibilities that teaches kids to earn money for the things they want. The motivation carries over to ownership of their own decisions, values, and goals. Anecdotal, time-tested, and gently humorous, The Entitlement Trap challenges some of the sacred cows of parenting and replaces them with values that will save kids (and their parents) from a lifetime of dependence and disabling debt.

Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads


Gary Greenberg - 2004
     Finally, a book that teaches men all the things they really need to know about fatherhood...including how to: - change a baby at a packed sports stadium - create a decoy drawer full of old wallets, remote controls, and cell phones to throw baby off the scent of your real gear - stay awake (or at least upright) at work - babyproof a hotel room in four minutes flat - construct an emergency diaper out of a towel, a sock, and duct tape Packed with helpful diagrams and detailed instructions, and delivered with a wry sense of humor, Be Prepared is the ultimate guide for sleep-deprived, applesauce-covered fathers everywhere.

Super Baby Food: Absolutely Everything You Should Know about Feeding Your Baby and Toddler from Starting Solid Foods to Age Three Years


Ruth Yaron - 1996
    This book also shows how much you can expect your baby to eat and drink during the months of her first year with information on her digestive system at each age.

Breaking the Good Mom Myth: Every Modern Mom's Guide to Getting Past Perfection, Regaining Sanity, and Raising Great Kids


Alyson Schafer - 2006
    The "good mother myth" an ideal that parents create for themselves says psychotherapist and parent coach Alyson Sch fer, is the sort of widely held misconception that ultimately sabotages people's efforts at becoming the best parents they can be. In her eye-opening account of how moms, the media, and our current culture foster this condition, Breaking the Good Mom Myth shows readers, through personal stories, anecdotes, and timely lessons, how to become a more empowered and confident person and parent. Alyson Sch fer (Toronto, ON, Canada) is a psychotherapist, parent educator, and media expert in parenting. She has been a guest on a number of Canadian television programs and has been featured in articles in Reader's Digest and Today's Parent.

Trees Make the Best Mobiles: Simple Ways to Raise Your Child in a Complex World


Jessica Teich - 2001
    Now, Jessica Teich and Brandel France de Bravo help new parents- who barely have time to return a phone call or wash a sock- learn to do less, listen more, and spend focused, fruitful time with their children. Practical and fun to read, Trees Make the Best Mobiles urges parents to treat every task-even diapering and feeding-as a chance to connect with their child, and gives calming advice about hot-button issues from pacifier use to temper tantrums. Parents will be relieved to discover that they don't have to buy lots of stuff-a tree outside a baby's window can serve as a mobile-or shuttle kids from one activity to another. In fact, in today's hectic, high-speed world, children need less "stimulation" and more unhurried interaction with the people who matter most. The authors call their approach "present parenting," because they believe being "present in the moment," without resentment or distraction, is the greatest present any parent can give.