Being Mr. Fixit to the Underworld keeps him and his assistant, Orson Welles (yes, that Orson Welles), pretty busy, since things go on the blink all the time down there. No malfunction has ever created so much inconvenience, though, as the malfunction of Hell’s Escalator, which leads from the Pearly Gates to the depths of Hades. What’s worse: the breakdown appears to be sabotage. Satan calls in Steve to investigate. But Steve is distracted these days. He’s in love with Flo, a gorgeous, almost saintly figure who has come to Hell by choice to ease the suffering of the damned. What’s more: she seems to like him, but romance in Hell? That could never be. Still, solving the mystery of the Escalator could earn him some points with Satan, maybe even a chance with Flo. Or maybe not.

    25 years later, destiny is pissed. And this time, it won’t take no for an answer!When destiny knocked on Chauncy's door, someone else answered it...and told destiny to take a hike. So instead of going on a grand adventure to become a great and powerful wizard so he could save the world from certain destruction, Chauncy got a job.Twenty-five years later, destiny came for Chauncy a second time...and when he told it to take a hike, it knocked him out, tied him up, and kidnapped him.Now Chauncy has no choice but to go on the grand adventure he'd been putting off, to become a great and powerful wizard. Except he doesn't believe in magic, and he doesn't particularly believe in destiny either. Problem is, if he doesn't fulfill his destiny, the world as he knows it will end. And even if he does learn to become the wizard he should have been long ago, it might be too late anyway!Experience this (inappropriate) fantasy comedy from the author of the Runic series and the Magic of Havenwood series!DISCLAIMER:This book contains inappropriate depictions of inappropriate people doing inappropriate things. Including, but certainly not limited to, inappropriate language and veiled connotations of the naughty variety. And of course, inappropriate magic.

    People who carelessly use extradimensional magic for their own self-interest, without a care to the damage it does to society or those around them, deserve to be punished as far as Cayder is concerned. Because magic always has a price. So when Cayder lands a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to apprentice under a premier public defender, he takes it. If he can learn all the tricks of public defense, the better he'll be able to dismantle defense arguments when he's a prosecutor. Then he'll finally be able to make sure justice is served.But when he meets the three criminals he's supposed to defend, it no longer seems so black and white. They're teenagers, like him, and their stories are . . . complicated, like his. Vardean, the prison where Cayder's new clients are incarcerated, also happens to be at the very heart of the horrible tear in the veil between their world and another dimension--where all magic comes from.

    But Frey is weary of the death trade and, having been raised on the heroic sagas of her people, dreams of a bigger life. When she hears of an unstoppable monster ravaging a nearby town, Frey decides this is the Mercies' one chance out. The fame and fortune of bringing down such a beast would ensure a new future for all the Mercies. In fact, her actions may change the story arc of women everywhere.

    The dictatorial Augurs—once thought of almost as gods—were overthrown and wiped out during the conflict, their much-feared powers mysteriously failing them. Those who had ruled under them, men and women with a lesser ability known as the Gift, avoided the Augurs' fate only by submitting themselves to the rebellion's Four Tenets. A representation of these laws is now written into the flesh of any who use the Gift, forcing those so marked into absolute obedience.As a student of the Gifted, Davian suffers the consequences of a war fought—and lost—before he was born. Despised by most beyond the school walls, he and those around him are all but prisoners as they attempt to learn control of the Gift. Worse, as Davian struggles with his lessons, he knows that there is further to fall if he cannot pass his final tests. But when Davian discovers he has the ability to wield the forbidden power of the Augurs, he sets into motion a chain of events that will change everything. To the north, an ancient enemy long thought defeated begins to stir. And to the west, a young man whose fate is intertwined with Davian’s wakes up in the forest, covered in blood and with no memory of who he is…

    Not after it stole her future. She’s only on the island to settle her late father’s estate and, hopefully, reconnect with her long-absent best friend, Beatrice, who fled their dreary lives for a more glamorous one. Yet Crow Island is brimming with temptation, and the biggest one may be her enigmatic new neighbor. Mysterious and alluring, Emmeline Delacroix is a figure shadowed by rumors of witchcraft. And when Annie witnesses a confrontation between Bea and Emmeline at one of the island's extravagant parties, she is drawn into a glittering, haunted world. A world where the boundaries of wickedness are tested, and the cost of illicit magic might be death.

    Every morning, employees arrive to find broken Kjerring bookshelves, shattered Glans water goblets, and smashed Liripip wardrobes. Sales are down, security cameras reveal nothing, and store managers are panicking. To unravel the mystery, three employees volunteer to work a nine-hour dusk-till-dawn shift. In the dead of the night, they’ll patrol the empty showroom floor, investigate strange sights and sounds, and encounter horrors that defy the imagination. A traditional haunted house story in a thoroughly contemporary setting, Horrorstör is designed to retain its luster and natural appearance for a lifetime of use. Pleasingly proportioned with generous French flaps and a softcover binding, Horrorstör delivers the psychological terror you need in the elegant package you deserve.Designed by Andie Reid, cover photography by Christine Ferrara.

    Just good friends, good fun, and finally reaching one hundred thousand followers on Instagram. She’s well on her way to all of that, until one drunken dare ends up with a cut hand, blood sacrifices, and a thousand-year-old prison opening to reveal a giant of a man. Finding herself with a Titan of a problem, she does the only thing that makes sense in that situation: selfie. Because he’s beyond hot, and that has got to be worth twenty thousand followers. Only it turns out, this is no joke. Cronus is really a Titan, and he’s set out to destroy the leader of the Greek pantheon. When Maisy makes a colossal mistake, unleashing an untold evil on the world, Cronus is the only one that can help her. #oops Maisy is starting to see that she should have been less interested in Instagram and more interested in the impending end of the world. An end she quite possibly caused—not that she’s admitting to anything just yet.

    A queendom without an heir. An ancient enemy awakens.The House of Berethnet has ruled Inys for a thousand years. Still unwed, Queen Sabran the Ninth must conceive a daughter to protect her realm from destruction – but assassins are getting closer to her door. Ead Duryan is an outsider at court. Though she has risen to the position of lady-in-waiting, she is loyal to a hidden society of mages. Ead keeps a watchful eye on Sabran, secretly protecting her with forbidden magic.Across the dark sea, Tané has trained to be a dragonrider since she was a child, but is forced to make a choice that could see her life unravel.Meanwhile, the divided East and West refuse to parley, and forces of chaos are rising from their sleep.

    . . .    In 2045 Kenneth Durand leads Interpol’s most effective team against genetic crime, hunting down black market labs that perform "vanity edits" on human embryos for a price. These illegal procedures augment embryos in ways that are rapidly accelerating human evolution—preying on human-trafficking victims to experiment and advance their technology.   With the worlds of genetic crime and human trafficking converging, Durand and his fellow Interpol agents discover that one figure looms behind it all: Marcus Demang Wyckes, leader of a powerful and sophisticated cartel known as the Huli jing.   But the Huli jing have identified Durand, too. After being forcibly dosed with a radical new change agent, Durand wakes from a coma weeks later to find he’s been genetically transformed into someone else—his most wanted suspect: Wyckes.   Now a fugitive, pursued through the genetic underworld by his former colleagues and the police, Durand is determined to restore his original DNA by locating the source of the mysterious—and highly valuable—change agent. But Durand hasn’t anticipated just how difficult locating his enemy will be. With the technology to genetically edit the living, Wyckes and his Huli jing could be anyone and everyone—and they have plans to undermine identity itself.

    Every night hordes of naked, blue, biting zombies flood the now dead Alabama lake town. While on board their replica pirate ship, the Viva Ancora, they fish and watch the monsters roam the night; seeking untainted flesh and leaving a disgusting mess in their wake…just like a horror show. Mo had sailed around the country, but now he finds himself 15 miles from his childhood home, a reluctant Hero. When a lone survivor stumbles upon Mo and Crow they gain a new member but also find much needed direction. The new comer, Smokes, will change Mo’s view of this zombie infested world forever. As reality mimics fiction an ever growing cast of crazy characters play out their role carving out an island sanctuary in a plague ridden world. The Expert, The Tech, The Oracle, The Sacrifice, The Old Friend plus many more ….. Welcome aboard, friend to this wild ride where the fish bite, the Zombies bite…sometimes life bites.

    First, she has no soul. Second, she's a spinster whose father is both Italian and dead. Third, she was rudely attacked by a vampire, breaking all standards of social etiquette.Where to go from there? From bad to worse apparently, for Alexia accidentally kills the vampire--and then the appalling Lord Maccon (loud, messy, gorgeous, and werewolf) is sent by Queen Victoria to investigate.With unexpected vampires appearing and expected vampires disappearing, everyone seems to believe Alexia responsible. Can she figure out what is actually happening to London's high society? Will her soulless ability to negate supernatural powers prove useful or just plain embarrassing? Finally, who is the real enemy, and do they have treacle tart?

    This is the story of one fortunate enough to be taken in by dragons.