. . It has no application whatsoever in describing motherhood. •Recognizing that there are appropriate times and places for lying, yelling, threatening, bribing, and saying “I told you so”•Sending yourself to time-out—preferably with chocolate and/or your spouse •Being completely amnesiac about the day’s exasperating transgressions when you peek in your children’s bedrooms at night and watch them sleepBased on her popular Woman’s Day and Parenting columns, Momfidence! explains how obsessing less and winging it more can keep you sane—and your kids healthy and happy. It’s a hilarious look at “perfect motherhood” that cuts parents a long-overdue break by reminding us that we’re not the amateurs here—we’re all experts, too.From the Trade Paperback edition.

    Distilled from Dr. Mom’s Guide to Breastfeeding, this is the most up-to-date, comprehensive, and effective book on the subject. Neifert has spent the last 25 years addressing the situations that nursing mothers routinely encounter; her sound, reassuring, and practical advice makes this a must-have for all new moms and mothers-to-be.

    Kate (Kate Albrecht) offers a stunning collection of step-by-step personal style and home projects—woven in with quirkily hilarious stories and anecdotes.Do you dream of finding ways to infuse do-it-yourself projects into every aspect of your life and have fun doing it? From the quirky personality behind the Mr. Kate brand comes a not-so-average DIY lifestyle book that will make your dreams of creating unique how-to projects become reality.Filled with 50 unique and approachable projects, along with hysterical, unfiltered stories from Mr. Kate’s crazy life, A Hot Glue Gun Mess will show how life can inspire art. Growing up with a high-powered Hollywood father and an oddball, down-to-earth mother, Kate Albrecht had a childhood that was anything but normal. From how her first period influenced her to become an artist to how her friendship with a high-priced hooker encouraged DIY beauty products, Mr. Kate’s stories are weird, wonderful, personal, inspiring, and downright hilarious.Her love of self-expression inspired Mr. Kate to create her own DIY life and a social media platform to connect with young women everywhere. Her projects involve style, home design, and beauty, including DIY nail art techniques, upcycled projects for your old jeans, and watercolor curtains. You don’t have to be a seamstress, metalsmith, or expert at anything to enjoy these projects, all of which are doable in under two hours and require a minimal number of supplies. Now you, too, can become a DIY diva!

    For the first-time dad, useful and practical information about pregnancy, childbirth, and baby care, including: what to say--and what not to say--when you hear the news; taking care of moms-to-be; what childbirth feels like; crying, diapers, and bathtime; and baby-proofing the home.

    In "Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl," Brian, a father of three girls, shares his tactics for surviving this new and glittery world. From baby dolls and bedtime rituals to potty training and dance recitals, he leads you through all the trials and tribulations you'll face as you're raising your daughter. He'll also show you how to navigate your way through tough situations, like making sure that she doesn't start dating until she's fifty.Complete with commandments for restroom trips and properly participating in a tea party, "Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl" will brace you for all those hours playing house--and psych you up for the awesomeness of raising a daughter who has you lovingly wrapped around her little finger.

    Personally, I think the eye-catching cover shot of me in my pajamas is reason enough. (By the way, those are my real kids on the cover, and yes, those are my actual ankles. No, I'm not retaining water.)What you're holding in your hands is a very funny and sometimes remarkably poignant look at fathers, not from the mother's point of view or the child's, but from the dad's side. Which is why it's called Tales from the Dad Side.It's filled with stories of what it's like to be a dad and a son, from a child's first day of kindergarten to the awkward sex talk and right up to the day the always-practical dad tries to pay for college with bonus miles. I was there for every landmark in my children's lives, except the day I was on the riding lawn mower and missed my son's first words, which my wife insists were “trust fund.”As children get older, the lessons of the father get harder, like teaching my son how to shave just as my father taught me, with a rusty double-edged safety razor. At the end of my dad's lesson, I emerged from the bathroom nicked and gouged, looking like an extra from a Quentin Tarantino film. My more civilized son is a Norelco man. With my high-school-age daughters, I promised them a day on which I'd take them anywhere and do anything with them they wanted, expecting them to ask for dinner and a movie; I was horrified when they told me they wanted all of us to get manicures and pedicures together. That was not the answer I was expecting; it was like discovering Lou Dobbs was an illegal alien.Over the course of raising three children, I have learned with my wife that fathers are different from mothers. That could be the greatest understatement since Noah turned on the Weather Channel and found out that the next forty days called for a 20 percent chance of light rain.The truth is, fatherhood is like Wikipedia: some parts based in fact, others just made up along the way. And while bookstores are filled with tales of mothers, their children and families, there are few from the dad's side. Now, as a public service, I'm doing my part to right this wrong.I sincerely hope this answers your questions. If perhaps it's not exactly your cup of tea, I bet you've got a father or mother in your life who'd like the stone-cold truth about dads. Besides, for the same money, you can either put three gallons of gas in your car or take home this book, which has a highway rating of 29 smiles an hour.Steve Doocy

    She thought her church upbringing had prepared her for every circumstance but when tragedy struck and threatened to take the life of her newborn daughter, it felt as though once solid ground had turned to glass beneath her feet, destined to shatter everything she held sacred.   When swept into a story of suffering, we all find ourselves vulnerable, questioning everything we thought we knew as we wonder, “Where is God in this?” With everything feeling as fragile as her one and a half pound daughter, Kayla finds herself asking that same question as she faces  her greatest fear: that she may have finally become a mother just to lose her only child.    Both poignant and humorous, Anchored recounts Kayla’s gripping story of learning to navigate her newfound motherhood in the most unexpected of ways, from holidays in the hospital and middle-of-the-night phone calls to the joy of coming home. With vulnerability and plenty of wit, Kayla lays bare her struggle to redefine her faith, her marriage, and herself within the context of a tragedy she never saw coming. For anyone who has felt their faith in God falter, Anchored extends a gentle invitation to join her as she uncovers a hope that holds.

    Nothing is sacred, not even himself: "I figure I have spent five minutes every morning for the past five years blow-drying my hair. That is six days of my life spent with Flash Gordon's ray gun pointed at my brain, which probably has windburn by now!" Whether he is commenting on politics, women or sports, bemoaning technology or mocking Southerners who try to talk like Northerners, Grizzard, "the Faulkner for just plain folks," has never been funnier.Other Lewis Grizzard titles available on Sound Editions from Random House:My daddy was a pistol and I'm a son of a gun Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself if love were oil, I'd be about a quart low don't bend over in the garden, Granny, you know them taters got eyes.

    No question from his readers is too small or obscure for Feldman to tackle. From the return of red M&Ms (they are back, if you've missed it) to new-car smell, the answers to life's little mysteries are dissected in these pages.Although it's all done in great fun, there is also an educational edge to the answers, as Feldman ferrets out top experts in diverse fields to come up with his entertaining answers. And their answers may surprise you—from the detailed physics involved in why cans of Diet Coke float but regular Coke doesn't, all the way to why they put crinkly paper into pairs of men's socks (but only one sock, not both).Complete with drawings by longtime Imponderables® illustrator Kassie Schwan, and a special section updating answers to questions in previous books in the series, this eleventh book of Imponderables® is sure to entertain the thousands of Feldman fans who have purchased over 2 million copies to date. Prepare to be delighted!

    She opened her laptop, pulled out some bread and cheese, and then, as one does, started drinking. The video was called "Butter Yo Sh*t" and online sensation My Drunk Kitchen was born.My Drunk Kitchen (the book!) includes recipes, stories, color photographs, and tips and tricks to inspire your own adventures in tipsy cooking. Hannah offers cocktail recommendations, culinary advice (like, remember to turn off the oven when you go to bed), and shares never-before-seen recipes such as:The Hartwich (Knowledge is ingenuity! Learn from the past!) Can Bake (Inventing things is hard! You don't have to start from scratch!) Latke Shotkes (Plan ahead to avoid a night of dread!) Tiny Sandwiches (Size doesn't matter! Aim to satisfy.) Saltine Nachos (It's not about resources! It's about being resourceful.)In the end, My Drunk Kitchen may not be your go-to guide for your next dinner party . . . but it will make you laugh and drink . . . I mean think . . . about life.

     The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Other new titles for Autumn 2016: How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of the Meeting The Ladybird Book of Red TapeThe Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster

    A Slip of the Keyboard brings together for the first time the finest examples of Pratchett's non fiction writing, both serious and surreal: from musings on mushrooms to what it means to be a writer (and why banana daiquiris are so important); from memories of Granny Pratchett to speculation about Gandalf's love life, and passionate defences of the causes dear to him.With all the humour and humanity that have made his novels so enduringly popular, this collection brings Pratchett out from behind the scenes of the Discworld to speak for himself - man and boy, bibliophile and computer geek, champion of hats, orang-utans and Dignity in Dying.

    Always.--A guy may get married, but he doesn't have to like it.--It's tough to admit, but all guys are exactly the same. Blue Collar Comedy Star Bill Engvall is JUST A GUY.  He's been one his whole life.  He can't help it.  He was born that way.  And that makes him an expert on the subject.    For the record, here's the official definition of a guy:  A person who doesn't think before he speaks.  He can't.  He's not that deep.  Because a guy has only three basic needs: eating, sleeping, and sex.  That's it.  JUST A GUY chronicles a lifetime in pursuit of those needs.  In this hilarious and heartfelt memoir, Bill Engvall takes you on the rollicking ride of his life, beginning with his childhood in Texas and adolescence in Arizona, becoming a fixture in local emergency rooms, the result of massive amounts of non-thinking behavior trying to impress girls or torture his sisters; to high school in Dallas where he dabbled in an array of truly odd jobs, learned the trombone, and came of age, all strangely connected; to college and his tenure as his fraternity's social chairman, where he masterminded a series of legendary parties and attempted to rescue his pet bird while the house was burning down (not his fault, honest); to following his dream as a standup comic and, gulp, singer; to his brief stint in children's theater while sharing the stage and the back of a van with the director's dog, and as a movie extra with forked tongue and cloth claws; to his bumbling and riotous courtship, then marriage to Gail, the love of his life; and, finally, fatherhood, where he remains, to this day, a well-meaning, but flawed parent.  Through it all, Bill gamely stumbles along, struggling to maintain a façade of confidence and control.  Far from a superhero, Bill Engvall is an everyday Everyman, the poster boy for normal.  The result is JUST A GUY who is disarming, perceptive, wildly funny, and unexpectedly moving.   JUST A GUY will make you laugh out loud and tug at your heart.   Hopefully, not at the same time.

    Not a repeat of the previous Duck Dynasty books, Jase opens up about his personal family life, his childhood days with a drunken father, and how he came to faith.This open book from Jase may surprise some fans who love him for his dry humor and rivalry with younger brother Willie. This hilarious, yet thoughtful book, is structured around lessons of faith in the blind on topics like respect, passion, forgiveness, generosity, humility, kindness, and honesty. Chapters discuss: the highlights of Jase's memory of the early days with his drunken, disruptive father; his high school days and his strong commitment to not be like Phil had been, opting for total abstinence from drinking and sex; the moment he forgave Phil for being such a terrible father in his younger days; his first hunt with Phil, where he saw an excitement in Phil that he'd never seen before; his first date with Missy, which was a "fake date" to make another girl jealous; and of course, a chapter on Uncle Si, with stories not told in previous books. Other chapters include stories of his brothers, frog hunting and fishing, and his most memorable road trips. And finally, Jase shares a chapter on hunting in heaven. Here, Jase shares his love for the land and our responsibility to care for it. More than a behind-the-scenes look at this beloved Duck Dynasty character, readers will be inspired and encouraged to implement Jase's lessons from the blind into their own lives.

    His wannabe gangsta cousin is seventeen, uses drugs and foul language, claims to be 13 percent black, and swears he speaks "da female language." (Strangely that last one sort of seems true.)But as different as they are, when Bennett and his mom lose their home, Mac’s got their backs. They’re family after all. Sure, it takes patience to live with the eternally smoked-out Bennett and the pill-popped Aunt Lily, but he can handle it.You know who can’t? Mac’s very pretty, very WASPy, very uptight girlfriend. So as his once-peaceful household gets completely crazy, Mac learns that wanna-be-Crips are thicker than water, that his little cousin—flawed, irreverent, and basically a Saturday morning cartoon gone horribly wrong—has become his mentor, and that he really has no idea what’s up with girls.